Ryker
Does she see the real me?
I’VE NEVER FELT like this before.
Everything is completely weightless as I soar high above the clouds without a worry on my mind. The girl of my dreams is walking beside me, completely aware of my existence, after sharing a delicious meal together. My heart beats an ecstatic rhythm as a smile hijacks my features, showing everyone just how fucking happy I am.
Let them gawk and be jealous—I’ll even keep my hood down.
My legs stretch ten feet with the pride surging through me. Does Lennon realize I noticed the subtle moves she was making earlier? Like sniffing my shirt or rubbing her cheek against my pec or slowly walking her fingers up my ribcage? If she’s trying to be sneaky or stealthy, it’s definitely not working. I’m completely blown away and totally perplexed that she’s chosen me but . . . these seemingly small tricks are driving me crazy with want. I don’t know how to handle the lust sprouting and growing like a wild ivy inside of me. Is she doing this on purpose? Trying to get me riled up with desire?
The idea makes me float even higher into the atmosphere, where nothing bad can ever harm me again. Lennon, my beautiful sunshine, wants to be near me. More than that, she likes me—stalker parts and all.
This is going to work out between us . . .
“What put that adorable smile on your face?” Her honey voice drips with sugary sweetness as we stroll along the path toward home.
Maybe I should feel emasculated that the term adorable is used to describe anything about me but Lennon can say whatever the hell she wants. I’ll consider myself lucky that she even talks to me.
I glance at her and find those gorgeous aqua eyes already looking my way. “You. Always you.”
Lennon giggles. “Ryker, you’re spoiling me. How’d you get to be so romantic?”
You is the word once again sticking to my tongue but I decide to be more creative. “I have the greatest inspiration and you’re meant to be treated like a queen.”
“Well, you’re doing a heck of a job already. I’m like a giddy pre-teen going gaga over her first as they hold hands. Like, omggggg!” When Lennon squeals, I almost laugh but then she groans and covers her blushing face.
I twist toward her. “What’s wrong? Why is your face all red?”
“Urgh, because I’m embarrassed. Who says stuff like that? Why am I so weird?” She whines and I want to wrap her in a hug.
“I really like the random stuff that pops out of your mouth. Although it’d be hard to find anything I don’t enjoy about you.”
Lennon huffs lightly. “See? You’re way too biased. Anyone else would think I’m a loon.”
“Good thing no one else matters then.”
She stares up at me, her light eyes shining, like she’s got a special secret. “No one else matters,” she echoes.
We arrive at the apartment complex and my chest contracts at the thought of saying goodnight. My muscles convulse with dread as my brain scrambles for something to say.
Lennon steals the words from me. “Today has been unexpectedly wonderful. I had no idea that you’d be here, standing in front of me. I wouldn’t have ever hoped for that.” She takes a deep breath while narrowing the small gap between us. “Thank you for everything, Ryker. For helping me back then and for coming back to me now. You’re everything I’ve dreamed of and hopefully we’ll be spending a lot more time together.”
I drag her tiny frame into my bulk. My voice is a murmur against her dark hair, “I’m the one who’s thankful. I never thought you’d accept me with such open arms. This couldn’t have gone better, even in my wildest fantasies.”
Lennon purrs, “Fantasies? That sounds interesting.”
My face flames as tension locks up my body. My taut control almost snaps from the exaggerated force stretching in two directions. The dirty cravings for Lennon’s body have been getting more powerful, practically interrupting my every thought. Yet, this newly uncovered bond between our hearts is still fragile and I’m not about to destroy my chances.
Her melodic laugh breaks the pressure pounding through me, especially when she whispers, “Just kidding. You looked totally freaked out for a second there.”
A weighty exhale deflates my chest and Lennon nuzzles closer. I’m more than happy to let that subject drop—for now.
“So, I’ll walk you to class tomorrow morning. Unless you’d prefer I keep my distance like usual. It’s up to you but making sure you’re safe isn’t negotiable.”
“No more hiding, Ryker. I want you to be with me, not following behind. The new usual is right next to me, okay?” Lennon leaves no room for argument, not that I would.
I nod in easy agreement, relishing in the sunny warmth beaming into my bloodstream. My hands grip her hips, reluctant to let her go, but knowing she needs sleep. “I’ll see you in the morning, Sunshine.”
Lennon’s fingers clasp onto my shirt and dig in as she tilts her head up. “I don’t want you to leave. How far away do you live? Who’s going to protect you?” She asks with a tremble in her pouty lip. Her worry for me is heavenly but totally unnecessary. My spirit skyrockets with the fact that she cares about me.
“Nah, my place is real close. I’ll be just fine. Sweet dreams, yeah?” My scruffy cheek rests on her smooth forehead. The urge to kiss her soft skin rams into me but I don’t want to ruin this moment with a wrong move.
She sighs and pulls away, taking her blanket of warmth with her.
“My dreams are always sweet because the beautiful blue ocean and crashing waves keep me company. I hope you sleep well too. Thanks again . . . for everything.”
I’m not sure what she means but it sounds nice. A small grin lifts one side of her mouth as she gives a tiny wave before walking up the steps. I watch her heavenly curves dip and sway as desperation to follow claws at me. Somehow, I resist the temptation and watch her retreating form disappearing from sight.
I yank my hood up and trudge off toward Mac’s, a gym across the street. The comfort Lennon provided me is enough to replace the typical bang of aggression but there’s still an edge of restlessness in my system. I’d rather cozy up against the wall shared with Lennon’s apartment but working out my excess energy is part of my routine. I can’t be getting soft and start slacking off. Pushing myself to exhaustion will help me focus on the work I have to do later.
My mind switches to autopilot as I stomp down the rickety stairs into the underground. As I walk into the dank lobby, the owner lifts his chin in greeting. Words aren’t necessary here, that’s what sold me on this place. The concrete floor is stained with sweat and the chipped walls are crumbling so I fit right in. Outer appearances mean shit.
In the years I’ve been coming here, no one ever interferes or interrupts. It’s an unspoken agreement and everyone is expected to sign on the invisible line. We’re here to blow off steam, not make friends. If I ever need a spotter, someone will silently help out but we never exchange more than a wave or salute. That’s more than enough communication for me.
I toss my sweatshirt into a dusty corner as I warm up on an ancient treadmill, ignoring the rust and grime. My thoughts drift away as my rapid heart rate pounds like a stampede of wild horses. Perspiration drips from my temple and the toxic voices seep out with each drop. I’m not a creep or freak and my eyes aren’t crazy. Lennon never talks to guys but she’s chosen me to spend time with. That’s all I need in this fucked up world.
Each push and pull, strain and shove, is for her. I force myself faster and harder, picturing her smiling face at the finish line. Tendrils of lust claw into my torso and I pump the weights at lightning speed to stave off the increasing desire. I need to be stronger, faster, and more powerful to ensure my body is an unstoppable machine against potential threats. I can’t stop until my mind is quiet. One-hour bleeds into two and my entire body aches from the grueling circuit. The nonstop assault on my muscles ensures every piece of me is worn the fuck out.
My sluggish feet stumble home far past midnight. I’ve still got a lot of work ahead of me but this is the money-making kind. As my numb legs give out, I collapse into the desk chair and listen for any sign of Lennon being awake. She never is but that doesn’t stop my starving ears from straining to hear the lovely notes of her voice.
I crack open my laptop before rolling my stiff neck, prepping for the pile of shit before me. Ignoring the corporate clowns and their demanding emails isn’t hard but the cash flow will run dry if I don’t comply eventually. They’ve been getting antsy without the daily security protection report, not that they truly understand the laundry list of numbers and figures I send out.
Such is my life after dark.
My screen floods with black and green as my fingers and mind work in tandem to scour the encryption code for any leaks. Once I’m assured the software is flawless and running as usual, I begin checking the company databases for breaches. This process has become second-nature and doesn’t take much effort anymore. Other than Lennon, hacking is all I know and years have been dedicated to shaping these skills into something relatively good.
A breach alert interrupts my steady flow, warning me that someone’s trying to crack through my system’s backdoor. Stupid idiot. No one can make a dent in my personalized encryption code but nice fucking try. When I see the username blasting between the streaming lines, a snort rolls from my exhausted throat.
AATS: You’re a fucking tool. Stop messing around.
Dx8MM: Where the fuck you been? No one else gets my humor like you.
AATS: Miss me? No one likes it when you bust into their shit and you’re slowing me down.
Dx8MM: It’s all in good fun. Where you been? With the girl?
AATS: Yup.
Dx8MM: Fuck that. That’s all I get after helping you?
I suppose he deserves a few crumbs after listening to my random rants about Lennon after all this time.
AATS: We talked today. And I’m walking her to class tomorrow. She knows about the stalking.
Dx8MM: And the personalized security detail?
AATS: Not exactly.
Dx8MM: You’re screwed.
An email notification pops up and distracts me from the bullshit with D. I switch screens and scan the message quickly. It’s a response to my inquiry about a rental property Lennon had bookmarked last week. Denten is a cozy area nestled far off the beaten city path. I’ve known Lennon has had her eye on moving to a small town for a while and that suits me just fine. The fewer people, the fucking better. I’d happily move to the middle of nowhere with just my girl in tow.
The building space will be vacant on the first of July, which is less than two months away. Lennon has access to the studio on campus through the summer but perhaps she’d skip out of this crowded college hotspot early if it meant having her dream location. This property is perfect for a workroom or a fully functioning store, depending on what Lennon wants. As of now, she’s doing all her sales online but that could change. It’s always nice to have the flexibility and options.
Why wouldn’t she agree?
I’m sure she’ll go for it . . . once she realizes this is a possibility. I just have to figure out how to set it up so she doesn’t see out how deep my involvement runs. At least not until I’m certain she won’t leave me. I need her to love me, truly and unconditionally, before the entire truth comes out. In the meantime, I’ll work even harder at becoming the man Lennon wants to spend her life with. A guy lucky enough to deserve all of her.
I wrap up the InfoSec reports and send them off with a heavy sigh, glad to be done with the repetitive routine. The darkest parts of my night are always the same without Lennon. I’ve never been a strong sleeper but at this point, my chaotic mind is ready to shut down like the computer before me. My head bobs and my eyelids feel like sandbags. As my mind starts drifting, images of a white picket fence and a quaint yellow home flicker in my subconscious before the darkness engulfs me.