Chapter 10

Julie lay in bed Tuesday night reliving the kiss, again and again. Lawson’s lips on hers, the feel of his skin against her. The smell of him.

She blew up a breath, turning her attention to the window where the moon was casting soft light into her bedroom.

“What are you doing, Julie?” she said out loud, her voice filling the small room. There’d been a time when she’d felt these butterflies in her chest over Daren, and look how things had turned out. Lust and romantic feelings were dangerous; they led to unknown places and right now she really needed to know exactly what she was in for.

Sitting up in bed, she got up and dragged her feet down the hall for a late-night snack. Grabbing a small carton of ice cream from the freezer, she sat down at her kitchen table, not bothering to turn on the lights.

Ice cream made everything better. She usually indulged with Kat and Val. Kat would be asleep in bed right about now. But Val might still be awake. She was single and a bit of a night owl. Pressing Val’s icon on her cellphone, Julie slid another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and waited.

“Hello,” Val answered a moment later.

“You awake?”

“I wouldn’t have answered if I weren’t. I’m surprised you’re up, though. What’s going on?” Val asked.

Julie shrugged slightly. A chill moved through her as she ate the cold treat. And as she thought of Lawson. “I kissed him,” she confessed. “But don’t tell Kat.”

“You kissed who?” Val’s voice perked up now. “Oh, my God. Did you kiss Lawson Phillips?”

Julie shut her eyes, immediately regretting telling her friend. This was still too fresh. She had no idea what she was going to do about it. Lawson was in her yoga class; she was his instructor. And she was babysitting his niece. “It was a mistake, though. It shouldn’t have happened and—”

“Clarify. You kissed him or he kissed you?”

Julie swallowed. “He kissed me. We went horseback riding through this field and it was so freeing. We opened up to each other about our lives and we just kind of got lost in the moment.”

Val squealed. “I love secrets. I can’t believe you’re telling me and not Kat.”

“Lawson is Micah’s best friend. I can’t tell Kat. She keeps secrets about as well as she lies.”

“She’s an awful liar,” Val agreed. “Sooooo, did you kiss him back?”

The butterflies stormed Julie’s chest as she thought about it. “A little, I guess.” Or a whole lot, but Val didn’t need all the details. Julie just needed someone to knock some sense into her right now.

“This is awesome, Julie!” Val said, doing the opposite of what Julie needed. She needed someone to tell her that kissing Lawson was crazy, foolish, a temporary lapse in good judgment.

“Awesome? Really?”

“Sure. It means you’re moving on. Waving bye bye to Mr. Jerk Face.”

“Right.” That’s all this was. It was her letting go of the past. It didn’t mean there was going to be a future with Lawson. One kiss didn’t equal forever. Julie placed the lid on her carton of ice cream and carried it back to the fridge. “You made me feel better about the kiss. Thank you.” She was surprised, actually. She and Val had hated each other for a good part of their teenage years.

“Glad I could help,” Val said. “And if there’s more kissing, I want to hear about it. I have no love life, remember? I thrive off the details of others. Although I’ve banned Kat from telling me her details these days. Baby-making sex creeps me out.”

Julie laughed, carrying herself and her phone back to bed. “Good night, Val.”

“Night.”

Julie hung up and lay back on her bed again, staring at her ceiling. It was just a kiss, she repeated to herself. A magic kiss. That could never, ever happen again.

Lawson was actually looking forward to yoga tonight, which was one clue that maybe he did need that psychologist his commander had forced on him. After a day behind a desk, yoga sounded wonderful.

And so did the thought of seeing Julie in those fitted exercise pants and sports bra.

He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, then headed out the door for class. It was look-but-don’t-touch when it came to the beautiful yoga instructor from now on. Kissing her had been…a mistake.

A mistake that had occupied his thoughts over the last twenty-four hours, which was a nice relief from thinking about what had happened in the desert, and the fact that he wasn’t flying right now.

He got in his truck and drove to the Veterans’ Center, arriving early. “Hey, Allison,” he said as he entered the building.

Allison looked up from a novel she was reading and waved. “You’re back for more, I see.”

A pang of embarrassment hit him. Yoga wasn’t exactly his exercise of choice. He’d still rather ride a horse or go for a run. Lift weights. In fact, the main thing yoga had going for it was the instructor here. Although the deep breathing did seem to help.

He scratched the side of his face, forcing himself not to say something stupid like he’d done the first class. He’d rather do yoga in front of his entire squadron than hurt Julie’s feelings again. “Back for more,” he echoed, keeping it simple. And good thing because Julie was walking up behind him.

“Hey,” she said, attracting his attention. A little blush crawled through her cheeks when he looked at her. She was thinking about that kiss, too. He wondered what she thought about it. If she wanted it to happen again. Not that it mattered because he’d decided that it definitely shouldn’t happen again. He needed to get his shit together before he started seeing anyone.

“Hey.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, heat moving in the space between them. Lawson wanted to close the space and put his mouth on hers. Put on his mouth on her. Damn, how the hell was he going to do an hour of yoga with thoughts like these filling his mind?

“Um, hey, Julie,” Allison said, laughing. “I’m here, too. But it looks like you two are somewhere else.” She raised a brow.

Julie shook her head. “I don’t know what you mean. Class starts in four minutes, though, so we better get down there,” she said to him, avoiding his gaze.

They walked down a narrow hall in silence.

“About yesterday afternoon,” Lawson said before they reached the workout room.

Julie looked up. “Class starts in two minutes. We don’t have time to talk about…um, that.”

And something told him she didn’t want to talk about it.

“After class then,” he said. “Let’s go back to the Seaside Café. I sometimes have a sweet tooth before bed.”

She folded her arms across her chest, and he forced himself not to look down. She was sweet. He could definitely eat her up and take her to bed.

“Okay,” she agreed. “We’ll talk after class.”

For the next hour, Lawson went through the movements. He half-assed them at first, but then found himself working hard to keep up. More embarrassing than letting a few of the guys see him do yoga was doing yoga and sucking at it. Sweat lined his brow by the time Julie concluded the final sequence.

“Namaste,” she said, a soft smile blooming on her face as she looked out at the people in the class. It was obvious she loved doing this. Lawson admired that about her. He admired a lot of things about her.

He rolled up his yoga mat and placed it back on the stack in the corner of the room. A few of the people in class had carried their own mats. They’d also been wearing appropriately fitted clothing, unlike him. He took his time cleaning up his gear and putting his shoes back on, waiting for everyone else to leave.

Then it was just him and Julie in the room.

She met his gaze and it was all over. He’d intended to take her to the Seaside Café and tell her that he was sorry for kissing her; that it wouldn’t happen again. And he suspected she’d agree with him one hundred percent. Looking at her now, though, those thoughts were blown to pieces. He was taking the woman in front of him—the one who’d spent the last hour volunteering her time to help service members de-stress, the one who’d played with his niece this week and hadn’t been scared off yet, the one who’d dominated his thoughts since the moment he first met her—and doing everything in his power to get her to want to kiss him again.

Julie shivered as she stepped outside.

“Want to ride in the truck with me?” Lawson asked.

She shook her head. “I’ll drive and meet you there.” Being in a closed space with him might make her do something crazy. Like kiss him again. Plus, she needed time to think about what she was going to say because at the moment she had no idea.

Val had told her to go for it with Lawson. It didn’t mean things had to get serious between them. And after dating Daren, Julie didn’t want things to get serious. She pulled into the parking lot of the Seaside Café and watched Lawson pull in beside her. He had that cowboy hat on his head again, which made her smile. Then her chest got all fluttery just looking at him.

They walked inside. The diner was fairly empty tonight with only one other couple seated in a corner booth.

“A sweet tooth, huh?” Julie said as they stepped up to the counter and waited for the waitress to take their order.

“This place has the best cheesecake you’ll ever have. Care to share a piece with me?”

“Um, sure.” Julie nodded. “You order and I’ll grab us a table.” Not that there was a risk they wouldn’t have a place to sit. She just needed space.

A minute later, Lawson laid a slice of cake in the middle of their table and handed Julie a fork. He sat across from her with his own fork.

“I don’t usually share,” he said, gesturing for her to take the first bite.

She slid her fork down into the smooth piece of cheesecake. “I’m honored.”

“You should be.” He winked when she looked up. “How was Sabrina today?” he asked.

Julie laughed. “Too funny. We played Barbie dolls and enacted every scene from the movie Frozen.”

“I’m impressed that you’ve seen the movie,” he said.

“Have you?” she asked.

Lawson scratched his chin. “I have. But don’t tell anyone. First yoga and now Disney movies.”

Julie stiffened. She didn’t want to take offense, but she couldn’t help it. “What do you mean by that?”

Lawson shook his head. The cowboy hat was on the booth beside him now. At least he had his manners. “Stop right there,” he said. “I can hear your thoughts and you don’t need to get upset. Those are just two things I never saw myself enjoying. And I do enjoy watching those princess movies with my niece.” He leaned forward, his gaze grabbing hers and holding.

Her heart pounded as she looked at him. She wanted to hold on to her defenses, but he was melting them away.

“And I enjoyed class tonight,” he said. “Not just because of you.”

A warm, gooey feeling moved through her. “Oh.”

“So about that kiss,” he said.

She swallowed and shook her head. “It never should’ve happened.” That was her defenses talking again. No matter what Val said, she couldn’t be carefree when it came to Lawson. He was already igniting things that sent off warning bells inside her. She wasn’t ready to be in a relationship yet. Not until she could stand her ground.

He stared at her, then sliced more of the cheesecake with his fork and slipped it into his mouth.

Was he going to suggest something different?

“I agree,” he finally said, surprising and disappointing her a little.

“You do?”

“Umm-hmm. Better to be friends first.”

Her breath hitched at the word “first.” That implied there’d be a next. She could live with that. “Right. Friends first.”

He sliced another piece of cake and suspended his fork to her. Hesitating, she took the piece in her mouth, aware that his gaze was locked on her.

“Mmm. So good,” she said reflexively. Then her body burned because he was watching like a man who wanted to be more than just friends.

“I need help,” he said.

“Help?”

“As my friend I need to ask you a favor. These clothes aren’t right for your class.” He gestured at his loose-fitted T-shirt. “What do you think about taking me shopping and helping me pick out some yoga clothes on Saturday?”

She pulled her lower lip into her mouth. Friends. And he was right. He couldn’t do yoga well in the clothes he had on. “I think that it’s my responsibility as your friend to help you out.”

He grinned. She loved those dimples and blue eyes of his. Loved pretty much everything about him, she thought as more warning bells rang.

“Perfect,” he said. “I’m looking forward to it.”

And despite herself, so was she.