Chapter 12

What the hell was she thinking? She hadn’t even had any wine yet and here she was letting her hormones do the talking. Which was what she’d promised herself she wouldn’t do on the way here.

Lawson was looking at her and waiting for an answer to his question. He repeated it. “What are you in the mood for, Julie?”

Her skin burned. “I’m, um…” She subconsciously licked her lips. “I’m in the mood for yoga,” she said.

Yoga? I’m in the mood for yoga?

The skin between Lawson’s eyes pinched softly. “Yoga? You want wine and yoga?”

“Yes. I often have wine before yoga,” she lied.

“But you’re wearing jeans. You don’t do yoga in jeans.”

He had a point, but no way was she going to admit that she’d been suggesting they wear nothing instead and do a different kind of exercise. “That’s the great thing about yoga. You can do it anywhere, wearing pretty much anything.”

“Which is why you helped me buy a yoga wardrobe today.” Lawson smiled, a knowing look in his eyes. Crap. Did he know that she’d been thinking, in a brief moment of insanity, that they should pull a When Harry Met Sally and turn friends to lovers? Why, oh, why had she picked that movie to bring?

“Okay,” he said. “Wine first and then yoga.”

She nodded. She was going to need some wine to get through this night.

Two glasses later, and feeling much more relaxed, she led Lawson through the core poses she’d been teaching at the Veterans’ Center over the last couple of weeks.

“You’re right. It’s not easy to do yoga in jeans,” she said, wobbling as she did the Downward-Facing Dog pose—the one she’d been doing when he’d walked in on her interview with Allison a few weeks earlier. A lot had changed between them since then. She wobbled again, then her whole body electrified as two hands steadied her waist. Just like that rainy day.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Keeping you from falling on your butt.”

“I’m a yoga professional. I don’t fall.” Except she was falling, hard and fast, for this cowboy behind her.

“Even when you’re drunk?” he asked.

“Two glasses,” she said, walking her hands back to her feet and slowly straightening her body. As she did, her body leaned up against his, her back to his front. His hands were still settled on her waist, keeping her firmly planted on solid ground.

“Those were big glasses. Maybe we should move this over to the couch.”

She turned to face him. They were standing so close she could feel his breath against her cheek. She wasn’t drunk, but she’d had just enough wine to lose her inhibitions. “Or the bedroom,” she said quietly, focusing on his mouth. She wanted to taste it again, taste him. The kiss at the barn had been too brief, too innocent. It’d left her hungry for more.

“Julie,” he said in a low growl.

“I know. But we can be adults about this. We don’t have to end up hating each other. And I won’t stalk you.”

“Julie,” he said again.

“If you don’t want me, just say so, Lawson.”

“That’s not it,” he said. “Because believe me, I want you.”

She looked up at him under her eyelashes. “Then take me.” Lifting her chin, she challenged him. “Take me to your bedroom.”

He stared at her for a long moment. She was about to back away and take back her offer. Then his hand went up, cupping the back of her head and pulling her toward him. His mouth covered hers, his tongue lashed against hers. His body pressed against hers, and she felt him. He wanted her just as badly as she wanted him.

“Take me to your bed,” she whispered, pulling away from the kiss. Her hands clutched the front of his shirt tightly.

With a growl from deep in his throat, he dipped and lifted her off her feet, making her squeal and laugh at the same time. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, with just enough drawl to remind her that he was a cowboy. She’d never been taken to bed by a cowboy. Or a Marine for that matter. But there was a first for everything.

Darkness wrapped around them as Lawson entered his bedroom and laid her gently on his bed. She could still see his face, his eyes set on her.

“You sure you want to do this? Are you too drunk?” he asked.

“Lawson. I’m not drunk. It would take half that bottle to make me drunk. But yes, I’m sure,” she said, her whole body tingling.

He pulled his shirt over his head. As she sat up and started to reach for his belt, he stopped her. “I took my shirt off. Your turn.”

A flash of dirty old Mr. Adams saying the same thing when she’d gone to provide massage therapy for him the other week crossed her mind. She shook that image away and refocused on the one of Lawson, bare chested in front of her. “Fair enough.” She grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it slowly, tossing it to the floor.

His eyes stilled on the skin above the lace borders of her bra.

“Now, it’s your turn to remove something else,” she said, grabbing his belt again. This time he let her unfasten it. She slowly pulled the zipper open.

“Your turn.” He took ahold of her arms and gave a soft tug, urging her to her feet. Then he unbuttoned her jeans, unzipped her, and gave a hard yank on the denim. He followed her jeans down, falling to his knees and putting his face at level with the source of all her tingles.

“What are you doing?” she breathed, already knowing. “It’s your turn to take off your pants.” Because fair was fair, right?

“I don’t play fair all the time,” he said, running his finger under her lace underwear.

She closed her eyes, finding the roughness of his finger against her skin sinfully intoxicating. Now she really was drunk. Her world was spinning and it was all she could do to keep both feet on the ground. His kisses trailed up to her bare stomach, her chest, one shoulder, the side of her neck. He pressed her back on the bed and stood, taking off his own pants now. Then his boxers fell and oh, for the love of Pete, whoever that was. This was really going to happen. She was going to have sex with Lawson. Unless she stopped it. Hell, no.

Her throat grew dry. “Do you have, um…a…um…condom?” There was no way they could continue without one.

Something in his posture changed. “Don’t you have one?”

The tingles in her body came to an immediate halt. “Why would I have one? I’m not…I don’t…”

“Neither do I,” he said.

“But you’re a guy. You don’t have sex?” she asked.

“Yes. Of course I do. I’m a guy,” he repeated. He was still standing in front of her, naked and ready. “I just haven’t since returning home. And I didn’t while I was deployed.”

She did the math in her head. Lawson had been home a few months. His deployment had been short-lived due to the accident, but still, that was a long time.

“So, no condom, huh?” he said.

She started to sit up and reach for her clothing. No condom equaled no sex. Which meant they could return to the living room for a night of old movies.

Then his hand pressed down on her shoulder. “Wait just a minute. No condom doesn’t rule out everything.” His voice lowered. “It doesn’t mean I can’t touch you, does it?” He kissed the side of her neck again, following the curve down to her shoulder as his hands explored lower parts of her body.

A soft moan escaped her throat as the tingles returned in full force, flooding her as he urged her body to lie back again. Then he proceeded to touch and taste, kiss and lick every inch of her bare skin until she quaked underneath him.

An eternity later, he fell into bed next to her.

“What about you?” she asked, coming back down to earth.

“I’m fine, darling. Trust me.” A satisfied smile slid across his handsome face. “But next time we’ll have a condom.”

She lifted her eyes. “Next time?” She hadn’t thought that far ahead.

His expression changed subtly. “Right.” He paused, tracing a finger lightly over one of her bare shoulders. “This was a one-time thing. Because we’re friends.” The tone of his voice made the statement feel like a question.

She nodded slightly. “That’s right.” It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Just this once to give in to her body’s desires and ignore her brain. “Right.” And if this was just a one-time thing, then she better make the most of it. Rolling into him, she kissed his mouth and, copying his earlier movements, she began to kiss his neck, his chest, his chiseled stomach.

“Julie? What are you doing?”

“Returning the favor,” she said as he groaned under her touch, tossing his head back on the bed. Fair was fair. He’d driven her over the edge with his mouth, and now she intended to do the same to him.

Lawson grabbed his keys Monday afternoon and locked up his office, ready to go home. He’d spent his entire Monday, just like Sunday, thinking about Saturday night with Julie. Consequently, he’d gotten exactly nothing done at work today. He was a week away from reporting back to regular duty, which he prayed to God he’d be able to do. Watching YouTube videos of Hueys had gotten easier. He’d even sat and watched a couple takeoffs last week without getting nauseous. He had this.

Walking downhill toward the space where he’d parked his truck this morning, his cellphone rang in his pants pocket. His heart lifted as he momentarily wondered if it was Julie. He’d called her to make sure she got home okay on Saturday night, but they hadn’t spoken since then. He glanced at the ID and disappointment crawled through him. Not Julie. Instead, his sister’s name lit up the screen. “Hey, Beth. What’s up?”

“Hey. Just wondering if you’d do your little sister a favor?”

“Of course.” He unlocked his truck and stepped inside. “What is it?”

“Milk. We’re out and I just got home with Sabrina. She’s whiny and—”

“Say no more. I’ll drop it by when I get home.”

“You’re the best brother in the world, you know that?”

“I know,” he teased, then hung up. A few minutes later he stopped at the local grocery store in Seaside and walked in. He’d grab the milk and get out. That was the plan. But as he walked down the middle aisle toward the coolers where the milk was stored, his feet slowed in front of the selection of condoms. Why the hell hadn’t he had a condom with him this weekend? He’d never gone without one back in the old days. He’d always been prepared.

He’d been in no way prepared for Julie on Saturday night, though.

“Something I should know about?” a familiar voice asked. “Or should I say someone I should know about?”

Lawson scrubbed a hand over his face as he faced Micah coming toward him. “Hey, man.”

And ah, hell. Coming down the aisle to join them was Griffin. The three of them stood in front of the condom selection.

“Well, Micah is a married man now, so I know we’re not buying rubbers for him.” Griffin slammed a hand across Lawson’s back, making him lock his knees to keep from falling headfirst into the display. “Who’s the lucky girl? Stalker Mel?”

Lawson choked on the thought. “Hell, no.” He looked at Griffin, who continued talking.

“She was looking for you today, by the way. I ran into her at your office when I came by.”

Lawson shook his head. He was about to start walking past the condoms when both Micah and Griffin grabbed his arms and pulled him back, sandwiching him in front of the Trojans.

“For her pleasure. That would definitely sell me. In fact, I have a box of those at home,” Griffin said. “Just in case.” He waggled his eyebrows.

“Got to be safe, my friend.” Micah gestured toward the boxes. “The glow-in-the-dark variety could be fun. To make sure you see where you’re going. Less poking around.”

“Shut up. I wasn’t…” Lawson stumbled on his lie. “A guy should just have these things.”

“Exactly,” Micah and Griffin chimed.

Lawson grabbed a box. “There. You jerks happy now?”

Micah laughed and patted his shoulder. “You promised to stop by the house soon. And feel free to bring the mystery woman. Kat would love to have another female to talk to at the dinner table.”

Lawson nodded. Kat and Julie were sisters. That would be awkward. Him and his best friend dating two sisters.

Dating? No, they were just screwing. And not even that. He glanced down at the box in his hand. He and Julie might never get that close to doing the deed again. In fact, they’d agreed that they wouldn’t. These condoms weren’t for her. They were to make sure he was prepared if and when he decided to close the deal with another female. A different female.

“Sure. Will do,” Lawson said. “Now if you two assholes don’t mind, I have to pick up milk for my niece and get ready for yoga.”

Micah’s brows lifted. “Condoms, a mystery woman, and yoga?”

Griffin was smiling, too. “Condoms and yoga. I think I know exactly what’s going on here.”

“No, you don’t.” Lawson leveled his friends with a stare. “It’s not what you think.”

Griffin shrugged. “Whatever it takes to get your head clear and you back in the game.”

Being a Marine wasn’t a game, though. Lawson knew that better than most. “Yeah. See you two.” He walked quickly down the aisle and turned, blowing out a breath and focusing on his mission at hand. He needed to get milk and get out of this grocery store without anyone else seeing the box of condoms he was carrying. A brief image of Mel discovering him with this purchase made him flinch. That would be awkward and, as crazy as she was, she’d probably think they were for her.

He physically shuddered and then froze, spotting the woman who was heading in his direction. She hadn’t noticed him yet. She was too busy looking down at a paper list in her hand. Running into Julie right now was possibly worse than seeing Mel. Julie would know the box was being bought with her in mind. She’d know and they’d already agreed that tearing each other’s clothing off would never happen again.

Julie looked up, her eyes widening. Her pace slowed as she continued to approach. Then she quickly scrambled to rearrange the items in her basket. But not before he spotted a box very similar to the one that he was holding.

Well, well, well.

“Hey,” he said.

Her eyes landed on the condoms he was carrying and her cheeks flushed. “Hi. What a coincidence meeting you here.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were stalking me,” he teased.

Her eyes narrowed until she realized he was kidding. “I’m about to see you at yoga anyway, so that would be a bit obsessive.”

“I seem to have that effect on the ladies.” He shifted as she looked at the box in his hand again. “A guy should be prepared,” he said.

Meeting his eyes, she nodded. “And safe.”

Was she thinking about all the things they’d done without a condom the other night? His mouth. Her mouth. He’d felt like a teenager again, going as far as he could without crossing the line of what was considered sex and not sex.

“So I’ll see you in an hour,” he said, tucking the box of condoms under his arm, doing his best to pretend it didn’t exist.

She nodded. “Yes. See you then.”

He tried not to look back at her as she walked past him. Failing, he turned and checked out her perfect backside, which he’d seen in the buff over the weekend. He also caught a glimpse of Micah and Griffin spying on him several aisles down. Judging by the grins on their faces, the identity of his mystery woman was no longer a mystery. Shit.

Over the last couple of weeks, the yoga class had grown from a few reluctant participants to ten focused yogis—one of whom was Lawson.

Julie sat with her legs crossed in front of her and inhaled deeply, waiting for the participants to settle in on their mats. She was also still trying to get Saturday night off her mind, which was hard to do when Lawson was sporting the getup she’d helped him pick out at Sports Crush over the weekend. It fit him perfectly, hugging every muscular curve that she’d become very intimate with just a few days ago.

Rose waved as she walked in, holding her mat under her arm. She had another woman following behind her.

“I brought a friend today. I hope that’s okay,” Rose said.

“Of course it is. The more the merrier.” And the more likely that Julie would get to continue offering the class. Even if she had to offer it for free indefinitely, she would. What she was doing here was making a difference. She could feel it. “Is everyone ready?” she asked.

All eyes focused on her. She wasn’t usually someone who liked having all the attention—thus the reason she bombed most interviews—but when it came to leading a class, being front and center didn’t bother her. She lengthened her spine and rested her hands on her knees.

Then she saw someone walk in from the corner of her eye. Her nerves immediately frayed. Mr. Banks was wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt with the sleeves cut off. He tipped his head at her as he walked to the stack of yoga mats in the back of the room and grabbed one. Then he made his way to an open space on the floor and mimicked her current pose.

Oh, geez.

Julie didn’t move a muscle for a long moment. She couldn’t. Fear had her paralyzed. What if tonight went badly? Her program would be terminated. Her dream of passing on her passion would be stomped out, and her ex would be right. Nothing she did mattered. She was small and insignificant.

Her gaze bounced around the room, finally landing on Lawson. She took a breath, then another. His gaze was steady, reassuring. She could do this. She wasn’t small and insignificant. She was strong. Yoga mattered. She mattered.

“Okay, everyone. Breathe in for a count of four.” Her spine lengthened as she took in a long breath and held it for four seconds, needing this exercise more than ever. She signaled for the class to exhale as she did the same. Even Mr. Banks. Maybe having him here wasn’t a disaster after all. He could see for himself all the good she was doing.

“Great. Now let’s move into Child’s Pose, making sure we continue to breathe,” she said. She didn’t even have to demonstrate. Most of the people in the class had come several times. They knew the positions for the basic poses. “Breathe in as you hold the position. As you do, pick just one thing from the day that you want to get rid of. Focus on it for a count of four. Then we’re going to release and let go. Get rid of it.” They all exhaled in unison. “Good. This is something you can do at home,” she said. “Getting rid of the day’s stressors always helps me sleep better. I breathe it in, hold it, then breathe it out. Release and let go.” Which was what she was trying her best to do right now.

She glanced over at Lawson on his personal blue mat. He was wearing the fitted shirt she’d picked out for him. As he stretched his arms out in front of him in Child’s Pose, his taut muscles popped and rippled, making her worry shift into yearning. She’d had to do a lot of releasing and letting go after she’d left on Saturday night. Not that she’d wanted to get rid of the moment, but she’d had a hard time sleeping after she’d gone home. She’d breathed in and released her thoughts about what could’ve happened if they’d had just one condom. Then she’d breathed in and let go of the fact that her body wasn’t quite satisfied and wouldn’t be until they finished what they’d started. Really finished.

Centering her thoughts, she led the group through several familiar poses before introducing something new. She hesitated to teach a new pose because the familiar was going so well. And if Mr. Banks was in her class, she needed things to go well. She didn’t want his presence to change her plans, though. Taking a deep breath, she moved forward as if the stumpy older man wasn’t in the room.

“This is the Camel Pose,” she told the group. “Watch me first, then we’ll do it together.” She stood on her knees and arched her neck and body back, letting her hands move from her hips to fall by her sides toward the floor. She released her head back to look behind her and held the pose for a long moment, allowing it to melt away her tension. Coming back to center a moment later, she looked at the class again, focusing on Lawson. “Your turn.” She watched as everyone mimicked her earlier moves. “I love this position because it opens up your chest and supports deep breathing.” She stood and began to walk around, checking to make sure that everyone was doing the position correctly. “Just go as far as you’re comfortable going. We’re not trying to hurt ourselves. You should be leaving this room tonight feeling lighter. Calmer.”

She tried not to look at Mr. Banks. Instead, she headed to Lawson. “Let your body sink further back with each breath.” She audibly breathed in, cuing him to do the same. Reaching out, she touched his chest, partly because she just wanted to touch him. His muscles softened under her hand. When he returned to center, he met her gaze, holding it for a moment, silently exchanging an affirmation that she could do this. This was nothing compared to other things she’d done in her life. He was right.

“Let’s do it one more time,” she said, removing her hand from his body. She headed to her newest student, who was arched awkwardly on his mat. Mr. Banks had skinny legs, in contrast to his wider midsection—a midsection that was throwing off his balance. As a result, his neck was tense, doing all the work to keep his body from falling backward.

“Relax,” she said, laying a hand on his shoulder for a moment. Then she moved his hands to his waist and tipped his elbows behind his body, altering the pose, but balancing his weight. “There. That’s better. Don’t forget to breathe,” she said, noticing that he was holding his breath to the point that his face was flushed. His teeth were also clenched tightly, trying to do the work of his body. What he wouldn’t give to be lifting barbells right about now, she guessed.

“Breath goes in through your nose.” She demonstrated for him, pulling air into her body through her nostrils. “Now hold it…And release.” She blew the air out of her mouth. “Okay, back to center, everyone.”

She headed back to the front of the class, then froze at the sharp cry of pain behind her. Turning back around, she saw Mr. Banks with his hand on his back. He was leaning forward now, a heavy grimace on his face. “Mr. Banks, what’s wrong?”

“My back,” he ground out. “I think I pulled my back.”