Chapter Fourteen
James wasn’t sure why he went back to the penthouse, particularly after the way Noelle had acted earlier. He told himself he didn’t need a reason but deep down he knew it was because he couldn’t stay away. He had to see her. The woman was like a sickness in his blood he couldn’t get rid of. She consumed his every waking thought. The sooner he was able to exorcise her from his system the sooner he’d be able to move on with his life.
A twinge of unease seared through him when he thought of her walking away. But he squashed those misgivings. What the hell was the matter with him? He didn’t care if she left, beyond the fact it would create an inconvenience for him until a suitable replacement was found. Even as he tried to convince himself of this James knew it wasn’t true.
Perhaps he felt so this way where she was concerned because things were going extremely well for him. James was used to dealing with one major stress or another but lately things were going swimmingly. Business couldn’t be better, AlCore was crumbling and he was engaged to a woman of impeccable breeding. If only things would fall in line with Noelle, everything would be perfect.
By the time he was in the elevator on the way up to the penthouse, James had made up his mind to set Noelle straight. He would let her know in no uncertain terms who called the shots, and if she didn’t like it she was free to leave. With that in mind, he managed to push away the excitement he felt at seeing her again.
James used his key to let himself into the penthouse; however, he was met with darkness. He didn’t expect her to be in bed so early. When he flipped on the nearest light switch he froze in terror at the sight which greeted him. Lying in a heap not too far from the door was Noelle. Her coat and shoes were still on as if she were about to go out or was coming home.
“Shit,” he muttered, dropping down next to here to see if she was still breathing. Her face was more than a little warm. He gathered her upper body in his arms and gently patted her cheek.
“Noelle. Wake up! What happened?”
Her head lolled from side to side as she released a moan. “The light,” she whispered.
“What?”
“It hurts. The light. Turn it off.”
Whispering another curse, James hooked one arm beneath her knees and the other around her back and lifted her as he stood. He carried her the short distance to the couch and gently laid her down. “I’ll call an ambulance. Don’t move.”
“No,” she weakly croaked.
“You’re not well. You need to see a doctor.”
“No doctor,” she whispered, her eyes still closed. “Just a migraine. I get these sometimes. I’ll be okay. Just have to lie very still. In the dark.”
“Does a migraine make you pass out like this? No, I’m calling the doctor.”
“Stop. Yelling. No ambulance. I just need to sleep this off.”
“I wasn’t yell—,” he sighed. James could imagine every sound was probably like an earsplitting jackhammer to her. He modified his tone to a whisper. “At the very least allow me to call a doctor to come check you out.
“You’re wasting your time. I have tablets. If I get a couple, I’ll be fine.”
James needed to strain in order to hear her. She sounded so weak and he felt helpless seeing her in so much pain. Noelle seemed to know best in this situation so he decided to go along with her request. He turned the light off and went back to the couch to collect her.
Noelle gasped when he lifted her into his arms again. He was careful as he carried her up the stairs and to her bedroom, holding her close like a fragile parcel. Once James laid her down in the center of the bed, he took extra care as he removed her coat, shoes. He stripped her down until she was in her bra and panties. Though her body encased in a black lace bra and panty set would have sent his hormones raging in other circumstances, he pushed away any urges he felt of a sexual nature. He pulled back the covers and tucked her in.
“Noelle, what pills do you need?”
He thought she passed out again but she finally answered after a long pause. “In the medicine cabinet in my bathroom. It’s the only prescription bottle in there, you can’t miss it. I only need two.”
“I’ll be right back.” James had no problem finding the pills per her instruction. He left the two tablets on her nightstand and ran back downstairs to get her a bottled water to wash them down with. When he returned, he sat on the bed next to her and lifted her up. “Here take these,” he prompted, feeding Noelle the pills.
She winced in obvious pain but opened her mouth to receive them. James took the water and pressed it against her lips. She took a few sips and swallowed. When James was satisfied Noelle had washed the medicine down, he lowered her on the pillow. He then went to the bathroom, found a washcloth and ran in it under icy water. James returned to her with the damp cloth and placed it over her forehead. “This should make you feel better.”
“Why?” She groaned.
“Why what?”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
Did she really think he was such a monster to do nothing while she was in such a weakened state? It hurt him a little to know she had such a low opinion of him. “What exactly did you expect me to do, Noelle? Leave you on the floor. Maybe kick you a couple times?”
“You’re yelling again.”
He silently counted to ten to get his ire under control. She was sick and probably not thinking clearly. He made sure to lower his voice when he spoke next. “Noelle, this is basic common courtesy. If I were ill enough to pass out, I’d hope someone would help me.”
“It’s no big deal. Like I said, I’m used to them.”
“Have you seen a doctor about them? I’ve had headaches before but none have made me pass out.”
“You’ve obviously never had a headache. They’re a million times worse. James, thank you for being here but you can go now. The pills should start working soon.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Not while you’re like this.” He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if anything happened to her and he could have done something about it. James kept that last bit to himself, afraid to make this situation into something more than it actually was.
James slid off the bed and removed his suit jacket and shoes. He walked to the other side of the bed and slid next to Noelle.
“James?”
“Shh. Just rest. I’ll be here if you need anything.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t. I want to.”
Noelle didn’t say anything afterwards. The two of them lay in silence. After a while, James figured Noelle had gone to sleep. This gave James the opportunity to think. He was playing with fire laying her with her this way. He didn’t want her to get ideas but he couldn’t walk away from her either.
It had scared the hell out of him seeing her passed out on the floor. His heart nearly plummeted to his feet. He decided to not question why because it might lead him to an answer he wasn’t ready to deal with.
Lying here with her like this reminded him of the period of time when he took care of his grandfather. His grandpa had meant the world to James. When he’d gotten sick James had taken a break from school to take care of him. It was an emotionally and physically taxing time. James never thought he’d find himself taking care of anyone like this again, although the situations were vastly different.
James must have dozed off because the next thing he knew, he was being nudged awake. “James?”
It took several seconds for James to remember where he was. He sat up and looked over at the clock on the nightstand. It was two in the morning. Sometime when he’d fallen asleep, Noelle had gravitated toward him and his arms were wrapped around her.
“Yes? How do you feel?” He held on to her, relishing the feel of her in his arms.
“Better, thank you for staying here with me but I would have been fine by myself.”
“You were doing so well by yourself you were passed out downstairs by the door. These migraines, how often do you get them?”
“Not very often but mostly when I’m stressed or upset about something.”
“And what upset you so much that you got sick?”
“Do you really want to know or are you asking out of politeness?”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”
“James, I think some things are probably better left unsaid.”
Now James was even more determined to find out what the problem was. He didn’t like her keeping secrets from him, especially when he suspected they were about him. “Is it about earlier?”
“James, have you ever done something you knew wasn’t good for you but you kept doing it anyway?”
He wasn’t sure what she meant by that but he figured it was her roundabout way of answering the question. “Yes. Actually I have.”
She chuckled lightly. “I find that hard to believe. You seem to be the most together man I’ve ever met. You’re very sure of yourself and you know what you want. I can’t imagine you wasting your time on something you know is futile.”
He shrugged. “Believe it or not, it’s true.”
“Tell me about it.” She gently prompted.
This was the part where he’d usually shut down but for reasons he couldn’t explain he shared with her something he’d never told another living soul, not even his grandfather. “When I was younger, I was the new kid in school. Mind, you this was a special school that went from kindergarten to twelfth grades. I didn’t start until I was around nine, so for the most part most of kids who attended that school had known each other for a while, and groups had been formed. Like most kids my age, I wanted to fit in. There was a boy there, his name was David, who seemed like a nice kid, at least I thought so. But then things started happening, he’d say nasty things around the other kids, steal things and blame it on me, basically he was a bully in every sense of the word.”
“That sounds awful, James. This kid must have been a real jerk.”
“That he was. But you see at that age, all a kid really wants is to belong and I desperately wanted that, so I put up with his antics for a couple years, even when I knew deep down this kid and his friends would never accept me.” A lump formed in his throat as he recalled those days when he was constantly reminded about his addict mother and how his grandfather had been nothing more than a lowly gardener. At the time he would laugh it off when the other kids teased him about it, not letting them see how deeply their barbs had cut.
Noelle empathized with him. She knew what it was like to be ostracized. “I’m guessing you got past that. How did you do it?”
“I reached my breaking point. Sometimes you have to be figuratively smacked on the head to eventually wake up. And I did. I saw David for what he really was. I eventually did my own thing and the teasing eased up some. By then I learned to be a little more cautious around people.”
“Whatever happened to David?”
James smirked. “Oh, he’s having his just desserts as we speak. Now it’s your turn. I shared with you and now you have to answer my earlier question. Were you upset with what happened earlier?”
Noelle hesitated. “I don’t want this to turn into an argument.”
“Who’s arguing?”
“James, to be quite honest, I don’t know how to act around you sometimes. I want to please you but I never know what you’re thinking. I’m on pins and needles when you visit.”
This admission took him by surprise. He knew this was no mere act no matter how he tried to convince himself otherwise. James didn’t want to be the reason Noelle was in pain, but he didn’t twist her arm to become his mistress. “If you didn’t please me, you’d know. But you never really answered my question did you? You’re just dancing around the issue.”
“James, I think if I told you things would never be the same between us again. Can’t we just put it down to me having a bad day? Please?”
There was a desperate timbre to her voice. Whatever it was Noelle didn’t want him to know he decided not to press. Besides, he felt if he did force the issue it would break the warmth of this unguarded moment between them. James knew once he let her go things would return to the way they had been. He needed this moment and he suspected Noelle did too. “Okay. Tell me something else, then. When I came by earlier I saw you sketching something. I actually caught a glimpse of it and was very surprised. I never knew how talented you we were.”
“Hmm, I’m okay. I’m no Picasso but I do okay.”
“When you told me you were taking a break from art school, I assumed it was because you were no good at it.”
“I never said I sucked, but I’m just not at a level I think I should be at. At least not at the level my professor thought I should be. That guy was always on my case. He always used me as an example and class to point out what not to do. I’d leave his class in tears most of the time.”
“From what I saw you’re very talented. Maybe that professor of yours was jealous. They say those who can’t do, teach.”
“I don’t know about that. He’s pretty respected in the art community.”
James had a feeling no matter how much he complimented Noelle on her work she wouldn’t believe him, so he stopped trying. “So what were you drawing?”
A small smile touched her lips. “I was sketching a cake I wanted to try.”
“A cake? It looked more like a landscape of some sorts.”
“It was, kind of, but I’ve been watching these televisions shows about bakers who make the most fantastic cakes into wonderful works of art. I wanted to give it a shot. After all, I have a lot of time on my hands.”
“Is this something you’ve done before?”
“No. I’ve got the baking part down so now I’m going to try my hand at the crafting part. I’ve done a lot of research on the internet. Seems like a fun hobby to take up.”
“I’d love to see what you come up with.”
“I doubt my first attempt will come out that good but it should be fun trying.” He could hear the enthusiasm in her voice. Even though the lights were off, James could see the sparkle in her eyes. Unable to help himself, he bent down and dropped a light kiss on her lips. He pulled back after that taste.
Noelle stroked the side of his face. “Don’t you want to finish what you started?” she asked expectantly.
For reasons he couldn’t explain James felt sex would ruin this moment. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather just lay here.”
Noelle snuggled closer to him and continued to stroke his cheek. This was nice. James could get use to this. He wished Noelle and he had met under different circumstances and…he shook his head to dispel those thoughts. It was too dangerous to let his thoughts dwell into that territory.
“James?” Noelle asked after several minutes of silence.
“Mmm?”
“I wish it could be like this all the time. But I know after tonight it will go back to the way it was, won’t it?”
He wished he could give her the answer she sought but refused to lie to her. He kissed her forehead. “Go to sleep, Noelle. You’ve had a rough night.”
Thankfully, she didn’t say anything else. James held her until her slow even breathing indicated she was asleep. And even after she was out he held on for as long as he dared. He didn’t want to fall in love with her, especially when he wasn’t sure if that particular emotion actually existed. He’d worked too hard to achieve his goals to throw it away now for something he wasn’t certain of. If he didn’t end this arrangement soon, one of them would end up hurt and he was almost certain it would be him. But letting her go right now simply wasn’t an option, as irrational as it was.
It was close to dawn when he finally let go of Noelle and slid off the bed, leaving Noelle alone. He didn’t look back as he walked out of the room because the temptation of rejoining her was too great.