Chapter Seventeen
“Are you going to be okay?” Simone walked into Noelle’s bedroom and sat on the bed next to her.
A week had passed since Noelle left the penthouse with only the things she’d come with. All the designer clothing, jewelry and items she’d brought with the money James had given her were left behind. The Mercedes he’d gifted her was left in the building garage and she’d closed the bank account he had opened for her and donated the money for charity. She wanted no reminders of her stupidity. It was embarrassing how she’d put up with James for nearly a year.
She fell in love with an imaginary figure she’d built up in her head. But in reality James was a controlling egomaniac only concerned about himself. She’d been a convenient bed warmer for him and nothing more. The hardest part was finally admitting it.
“Yes, I’ll be okay.”
“Noelle, sweetie, you’re allowed to mope for a few days but you have to come out of your room sometime. You’re letting that bastard win. Do you think he’s sitting around thinking about you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do. He’s taking his fiancée around town and has probably set up another woman in the penthouse.”
Simone’s words were exactly what Noelle needed to hear but it fucking hurt. “You’re right,” she whispered. “What’s wrong with me? How could I have put up with that for so long?”
“Because you have such a good heart and you want to believe in people. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you how strong and wonderful I think you are. But I’ll keep doing it until you finally believe me.”
Noelle sniffed. “I’m not strong. A strong woman wouldn’t have let this man tread all over her for so many months. She wouldn’t have to go crawling back to her cousin with her tail between her legs.”
“That’s not true. You didn’t come crawling back. I invited you back because this is your home and I love you.”
“I love you too Simone. Thank you for putting up with me. I swear I’ll find a job and start contributing to the household bills more. In the meantime I can use the money I’d set aside for school to help out.”
“No. I want you to use that money for when you need it. If Aunt Dot were alive, she’d want you to put it to good use.”
If her mother was still alive Noelle doubted she’d be in this situation. “I wouldn’t have this money had you not helped me. If you hadn’t hired that lawyer on my behalf Aunt Frieda would have spent it all. I’d probably be married to Walter.”
Simone grunted in disgust. “I wish I were surprised at what they tried to do to you but my mother has done far worse.” Her cousin’s lips twisted in derision. Noelle knew that the disdain Simone held towards her mother, stepfather and brothers hid a secret pain she rarely spoke of. It made Noelle even more grateful to have someone who cared enough to take her out of a situation that could have ruined her life for years to come.
Noelle smiled at her cousin. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. Like I said, this is your home too.”
“No.” Noelle shook her head. “I wasn’t thanking you for letting me stay here but for being there for me. I know it was hard for you to maintain contact with me over the years because of your falling out with Aunt Frieda.”
Simone looked slightly uncomfortable for a moment but she quickly shook it off. “I wish I could have taken you with me when I first left, but I knew they wouldn’t let you go as long as they were receiving money for your upkeep.”
“Have you heard from any of them lately?”
Simone broke eye contact and looked at her nails. “Not for a while.” She was lying. But Noelle wouldn’t press her. The mental abuse and isolation she’d suffered was nowhere near what Simone had dealt with. Though her cousin had only told her some things that had happened before she left home, Noelle could only imagine what she didn’t reveal. Simone always seemed so strong and sure of herself, but now Noelle wondered if it was all just a front.
Her cousin was stunningly beautiful but she rarely dated. Noelle thought it was because Simone was so focused on her career and now getting her boutique up and running, but now Noelle had to wonder if her cousin still fought her own demons.
“I promise I’ll get out of bed today. I think I’ll take a walk to clear my head and figure out what I want to do with myself. You said I could stay here forever if I wanted but I’m going to need to learn to stand on my own two feet. I don’t have much work experience beyond retail but maybe I can find something at an entry level.”
“What about your art?”
Noelle shrugged. “I dropped out of art school, remember?
“There are lots of people who make a living doing caricatures or working with the city to beautify walls that have been covered in graffiti. You might also try private art lessons. I don’t think you need a fancy art degree for that.”
“To be honest, I’ve lost my passion for it. Don’t get me wrong, I still love it but it’s not the path I want to take. I believe the only reason why I went to art school in the first place was because art was one thing I was actually decent at. When I was a kid it made me feel good when the teacher would tell me how realistic my drawings looked when most kids were still making stick figure people. I liked doodling in my notebook. I enjoyed art class and learning different techniques. I even enjoyed some of my art school classes, but when I think about trying to make a living out of it, I just can’t fathom it.”
“Wow. I thought that’s what you wanted. I never would have pushed you to apply if I’d known that’s how you felt.”
“No. It’s good that I went because I learned it wasn’t what I wanted. I wish I were more like you. You love fashion and you’ve always wanted to open your own boutique with your designs. And look at you. Your shop is opening soon and it’s going to be a huge success. I can’t think of anything that gives me that same drive.”
“There’s got to be something that makes you happy.”
“Well, I have my mom’s old recipes that I’ve been playing around with. Paul says they’re the best he’s ever tasted. He asked me to do a cake for his sister’s wedding. He even suggested I make a business out of it. That sounds crazy, doesn’t it?” Noelle laughed before Simone could tell her how dumb an idea it was.
But her cousin didn’t. “Does baking make you happy?”
“It makes me feel closer to Mom. I think about how happy we were in the kitchen when we baked together.”
“Then maybe Paul is on to something. Why not give the wedding cake a shot as a test run and go from there.”
“That’s crazy.”
“Crazy is having a dream and then sitting on it. Do you want to wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of your life?”
“But I’m not like you.”
“And thank God for that. If you were like me, then you’d have more hang-ups than you can deal with. I can barely deal with them myself at times.” Simone laughed. “I’m not the smooth operator you think I am. Do you think leaving a very comfortable, well-paying job was easy for me? I was terrified, but what scared me even more was not trying. You can’t live your life comparing yourself to others. I have faith in you. Think about it.” Simone leaned over and gave Noelle a kiss on the cheek. “I need to get ready. I’m meeting with some interior designers today to put the finishing touches on my boutique. I’m so excited to see my vision come to life.”
“I’m really proud of you, Simone.”
“Thanks hon.” She got off the bed. “There are some leftover turkey sausage on the stove if you want any.”
"Thanks.”
Simone smiled and waved goodbye as she sashayed out the room. There was an extra spring in her step. With her cousin gone, Noelle fell back against her pillow. The dull ache in her chest where her heart beat throbbed. One of these days she’d get over James, but it didn’t look like today wasn’t that day.
James read the letter twice to confirm he wasn’t imagining things. “Son of a bitch.” He picked up the phone and punched in Paul’s number.
“Yes, Mr. Rothschild?”
“In my office now!” James slammed the phone back on the receiver without waiting for a response.
When summoned Paul usually made it to James’ office in under a minute but today it seemed like his employee took his sweet time. Paul tapped on the door before poking his head in the door. “Yes, Mr. Rothschild?”
“Get in here and close the door. I’m sure you know why I’ve called you to my office.”
Paul didn’t reply. He took the seat in front of James’s desk.
James held up the letter. Paul seemed unimpressed with James, making James even more mad. “What the hell is this?”
“My letter of resignation.”
“Are you not being compensated enough?”
“My paycheck has always been more than adequate.” Paul’s face remained expressionless and James tried to figure out what game the man was playing.
“Were you offered another job?”
“Nope.”
“Okay, I’ll bite. Why are you leaving a well-paying job without one to replace it? I’ve always pegged you for an intelligent man.”
“With all due respect, Mr. Rothschild, now that my resignation has been tendered to you and Human Resources, the only thing you’re owed is the two months of my time it takes for me to find my replacement and train him or her.”
James had had enough of Paul’s passive-aggressive attitude of the last several weeks. “Bullshit. What the hell has been your problem? You’ve been walking around with a major chip on your shoulder.”
Paul’s eyes narrowed. “Why does it make a difference why I’m leaving the company?”
“Because I want to know.”
“And what you want trumps all, right?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re so used to getting your own way you don’t care how you go about getting it, even if it means hurting someone.”
James instantly realized they were talking about two different things. The hostility in Paul’s voice was so palpable he could touch it. Noelle. The conversation that had been interrupted by Gillian’s hysterics came to mind. What had Paul been on the verge of telling him then?
“And you believe I hurt someone?” James said with more calm than he felt.
Paul’s face turned bright red as he gripped the arms of his chair. James could tell the other man was close to losing his cool. “I don’t just believe, I know.” Paul leapt from his seat.
“Sit down,” James barked.
“No. You don’t get to tell me to jump and I ask how high. Not anymore. You’re going to listen to what I have to say for once.” Paul leaned over and pounded his fist on the desk. “I’ve followed your career closely and have admired how you’ve managed to turn one low budget hotel into an international chain. I idolized you, and to land a job working directly for the James Rothschild was a dream come true. You’ve been a tough but fair boss and I’ve learned so much from you. I knew when I took on this job keeping order in your personal life was a part of the package. But then Noelle entered the picture. Any idiot could clearly see she wasn’t cut out for that lifestyle. Those other women were seasoned pros, but Noelle was different and I think you knew it too. But you chose her anyway and treated her like crap.”
James could feel the heat in his face as his temper threatened to explode. He didn’t appreciate the tongue lashing even if every bit of it was true. “How I treat my lovers are between me and them. You get paid to do as I say, not question how I do it.”
“I won’t be quiet about her. “
James felt the vein throbbing in his forehead as he forced himself to remain seated. He feared if he moved an inch he’d fly across his desk and beat the shit out of Paul, not because of his insubordinate tone but because it was now clear to him the other man had feelings for Noelle. “Get out.”
“Gladly.” Paul pivoted and stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.
As tempting as it was to simply let Paul go and pay him in lieu of that two month notice, James needed him in order to ensure the transition went through smoothly.
What exactly had been going on between Noelle and Paul? Did they have their own little affair behind his back? James would have bet a million dollars Noelle wasn’t the type to take on more than one lover at a time but then again, it wouldn’t be the first time a woman had fooled him. The thought of another man touching her ate at him. But the worst part was if it was true, James feared he’d driven her to it.
The ache was still raw upon discovering Noelle was out of his life for good. He tried to tell himself it was for the best, but it was a lie he had yet to swallow. His heart squeezed in his chest as he remembered when he learned she’d left.
He’d fucked up.
James knew it the second he rolled off of Noelle. She turned over, exposing her back to him, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging herself into a ball. For reasons he couldn’t explain even to himself, he reached out and touched her shoulder but she flinched away from his touch.
He’d been a lot rougher than usual, a bit mean and had said things he shouldn’t have. In all his years of considerable experience, he’d never treated any woman as harshly as he had Noelle and his only justification was she had defied him. She stood up for herself and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like that she’d changed and wouldn’t tell him why.
Unable to handle the shame of what he’d done, James slid out of bed and hastily gathered his clothing. Without a backward glance he left the room not having the nerve to look her in the face. She was probably well within her right to curse or scream at him but she didn’t. After a quick shower in the bathroom down the hall, he dressed and went back to his house.
James, lacking the concentration to make it through the next business day had taken off early and headed to the penthouse with flowers and a diamond bracelet in hand. The second he stepped through the door, he immediately knew something was different. The warm scent that used to cling to the penthouse of something freshly baked was gone. Noelle was nowhere in sight, and upon further inspection he realized she wasn’t there at all. It gave him no relief to see her clothing and all the jewelry and gifts he’d given her were still in her room, because the place seemed hauntingly empty without her there.
Instinct drew him back downstairs to the kitchen. Sure enough when he stepped inside the room Noelle seemed to favor, there lay a note on the island. With shaking hands, he picked it up and read the hastily scribbled words.
By the time you read this message, I’ll be gone. I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to be. I can no longer pretend I’m someone I’m not. Good luck in all your endeavors. I hope you get everything you want. Best wishes. Noelle.
The note said so little yet so much at the same time. He wasn’t sure what her cryptic message meant but he was certain of one thing; Noelle was gone and wasn’t coming back. And an ache he thought he’d never feel again barreled its way into his heart. But this time is was much worse.
“Shit!” he yelled out in frustration.