Chapter Twenty Four
“For dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return.” The priest threw a handful of dirt on the coffin as he recited several more bible verses. James had stopped paying attention as soon as the casket containing the old bastard was placed on the casket-lowering device.
“If the family will now come forward to pay one last tribute to their loved one,” the priest directed.
Gillian sniffed delicately, a single tear slid down her cheek as she placed an armful of roses on the casket. James knew it was all a show because she was heartless. David’s mother Cassandra placed an equally large floral arrangement on the coffin before returning to her chair. David remained seated, his expression stony and unreadable, although James could imagine what the other man was thinking.
Some people James recognized from the business world placed small tokens on the casket before the groundskeepers assisted the funeral director in lowering the casket into the ground. James was particularly keen on this part of the service because this was the symbolic end of a painful past that had caused him nothing but shame and anger that he’d carried with him until very recently.
David had surprisingly offered him a seat up front with the family, a concession that Cassandra had obviously disapproved of. James, however, had declined, and preferred to remain standing in the back. He stood in the same spot when most of the attendees had scattered.
“I still don’t see why you had to invite him. Your poor grandfather is probably rolling in his grave at this very second knowing you have that…him here.” Cassandra said just loud enough for James to hear.
“Grandfather is right there. Why don’t you jump in the grave and open the casket to see if he’s rolling around. James is family after all. Why shouldn’t he be here to pay his respects to dear departed grandfather.” His brother’s voice dripped with sarcasm over those last words.
“Lower your voice. What if someone hears?” Cassandra shushed him.
“You weren’t interested in lowering your voice when you wanted to call him a bastard. That’s what you were going to say about him, weren’t you? But you don’t want anyone to know your late husband fathered another child while he was still married to you because that would mean he found you lacking in some way.”
Cassandra turned bright red as she stood up abruptly. “Well, David. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I’m heading back to my hotel room. I won’t ask you to apologize even though you really should. I’ll just mark this down as grief over your grandfather’s death.”
“You do that, mother. You end up doing what you want to anyway.”
“I will not stay here and be talked to like that. Vincenzo, let’s go,” she barked at her husband who looked young enough to be her son as well. Cassandra marched off with a hapless Vincenzo in tow.
Gillian chose that moment to chime in. “David, was it really necessary for you to talk to your mother like that? It’s not like she was wrong. This was a touchy issue for your grandfather. I understand why you did invite James but maybe out of respect for your Grandfather—”
David threw his head back and laughed. “That’s rich. You actually think I respected that degenerate. Good one Gillian. And do me a favor. Don’t sit here and pretend like you give a damn other than sticking around long enough to hear the reading of the will.”
Gillian’s face turned bright red. “David, like your mother said, I’ll put this down as grief. I suppose I’ll give you a little time alone to say your last goodbyes.” Gillian stood and walked away, but not before smiling at James in the way she used to that would have him eating out of her hand. When they were younger that smile worked on him, now it left him cold. He nodded abruptly as his only acknowledgement.
With David and him as the only ones at the grave, James moved around to the front and took a seat next to his brother. Neither man talked as they both stared at the tombstone that headed the plot. Sheldon R. Alexander. Loving Husband, Father, Grandfather and Friend.
“I’m wondering if that’s the same Sheldon Alexander I knew, otherwise the tombstone is lying,” James said to break the ice.
David chuckled softly. “If it were up to me, I would have simply put his name and be done with it. And I wouldn’t have bothered with a tombstone except I need to know which grave to piss on when I come to visit it again. Mother and Gillian insisted on the inscription, for the sake of appearance.”
“Of course. How are you holding up?”
David shrugged. “You’d think I’d be doing back flips. Ding-dong the asshole’s dead. But I just feel kind of empty. I feel absolutely nothing, no anger, no sadness, no happiness. I just can’t wait to dump all my stocks and just take off. I’ve got it all planned out. I’m in discussion with my lawyers to liquidate all my assets and serve Gillian with divorce papers. After the will’s read, I’m going to travel a bit and try to figure out my life.”
“Did Gillian ask for a divorce?”
“She’s been frolicking all over the globe with a man older than grandfather. My guess is she’s waiting until after the will is read to tell me she wants a divorce but I plan on beating her to it. I’ll at least get to salvage the little pride I have left.”
“I’m sorry, David.”
“Don’t be. Finally, I’m going to do something I want to do with my life and I’ll have no else to answer to.”
“Where do you plan on going?”
“I’ll figure it out when I book my flight. Look, uh, James…about what you said before. I’m not sure how this brother thing works. I’m not even sure how to be a good friend, but whenever I’m done traveling, I wouldn’t mind maintaining contact.”
It wasn’t much, but James figured that was all David was willing to concede at the moment. The two of them had been through too much, and the acrimonious nature of their relationship had lasted way longer than it should have for them to suddenly to become bosom buddies, so James understood. “Yes, I’d like that.” James stood. “You probably want to be alone right now, but I look forward to hearing from you.”
David nodded.
James took one last look at the grave where the man who caused so much pain laid in his final resting place. And like David, he felt nothing.
As he headed to his vehicle he was waylaid by a frantic Gillian. She practically threw herself in his arms. “Oh James, I’m so glad you were able to come. I’ll miss Grandfather so much.” Those crocodile tears plopped from her eyes.
James looked pointedly at her hands clinging to his suit. “Gillian, you’re crying like you actually care.” He shook her off of him.
She sniffed. “Why are you being so cold?”
“Only minutes ago you were questioning my appearance here.”
“Because I didn’t want David to think I still cared for you. He’s terribly jealous of you.”
“And I wonder why?”
She blinked innocently. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”
“It’s like you gave him a reason to be jealous, but I have a feeling David will be just fine.”
She frowned. “And since when have the two of you become so chummy?”
“I wouldn’t call us that but we’ve reached an understanding.”
“It seems pointless to acknowledge the connection now. He’s run the business into the ground and the Alexander name has basically become a laughingstock in our circles. But it’s not too late for us, James.”
Was she high? He could think of no other reason why she’d be under the delusion he actually still gave a fuck about her. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I know you might still be cross with me for choosing David over you, but my parents were pressuring me to marry well. And you know they depended on me to make a good connection. I wish I hadn’t chosen convenience over love.”
“You do realize your husband is only a few hundred feet away from us.”
“He won’t be my husband for long. I plan on divorcing him. We can finally be together.” She clutched his suit once again.
“Gillian, remove your hands or else I’ll forget you’re a woman.”
She gasped, letting go. “Why are you being so cruel? I refuse to believe your feelings have changed for me.”
“That’s because you have an ego the size of New York. I just didn’t see it then. Do you see your husband over there?” James pointed in David’s direction. “You could have made the most out of what you had with him but it wasn’t enough for you. I will admit that I did care for you. Once. But not anymore. But, you never loved me. Love means putting the other person first, something you’re clearly incapable of.”
“That’s not true! I did love you. I mean I do love you.”
“You loved the idea of fooling around with the boy born on the other side of the sheet but you never had any intention of being with me on a permanent basis, did you?”
“I want to be with you now,” she whined. She seemed to do that a lot, a quality he hadn’t noticed until now. The longer he talked to her, the more grateful he was he’d got a lucky escape from her.
She was a self centered narcissist, but he could only feel pity for her and mild disgust. “Sometimes, Gillian, we can’t have what we want.” As he walked away he found the irony that he’d once had those words said to him. He was determined in that moment that no matter what he would no longer let his yesterday dictate his tomorrow.
Noelle debated contacting James for the next few days but wasn’t sure what to do. She waffled back and forth from just letting things be to picking up the phone and calling him. That following Tuesday after her run-in with James, Noelle received a surprise visitor.
She was at the front of the bakery helping with the morning rush, when she spotted a familiar redhead in line. Noelle planned to tell the woman to fuck off if she wanted to warn her off of James. To Noelle’s surprise, when it was the redhead’s turn, she smiled at Noelle. “Hi. I don’t think we were formally introduced at the hospital event. I’m Eleanor.”
“Yes,” Noelle said not returning the smile.
“Well, I was wondering if I might have a minute of your time.”
Noelle gestured to the people in shop. “As you can see, we’re a little busy right now.”
“I can wait. In the meantime, I’d like one of your key lime cupcakes.”
Without taking her eyes off the elegantly dressed redhead, Noelle retrieved the cupcake from its case and placed in it on a disposable plate. “That will be two-fifty.”
“Do you take cards?”
“Sure.” Noelle took the card and swiped it on the register.
Once the transaction was complete, Eleanor smiled at her again. “I’ll just have a seat at one of these tables and wait for you if you don’t mind.”
Noelle shrugged. “Suit yourself, I need to take care of all my customers first.”
“No worries. I have some time to kill.” And that’s exactly what she did. As Noelle helped the customers, Eleanor sat at one of the tables nibbling her cupcake.
Once the shop cleared out, Noelle reluctantly joined her at the table. “Look, if you’re here to warn me off of James, you’re wasting your time. There’s nothing between us.”
Eleanor raised one finely arched brow. “I see.” She took another bite from her cupcake.
Noelle grew impatient. “Look, as you can see, things can get a little hectic around here, so please, just say your peace and leave.”
Eleanor put her cupcake down. “This is delicious by the way. Of course, I’ll probably have to run an extra two miles on the treadmill and take an extra Pilates class to burn this off.”
Noelle barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes but she didn’t respond.
“Noelle, we don’t know each other but I came here about James.”
“I figured.”
“I believe you’ve got the wrong impression about us. James and I are just friends. He’s helped me through a really difficult time and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay him for what he’s done.”
“What about your engagement?” Noelle asked cautiously.
“We called it off. We don’t love each other. Honestly we were only engaged as a matter of convenience.”
This news shouldn’t have mattered but it did. She stubbornly dug in her heels, however. “I’m not sure why you’re telling me this. James and I are nothing to each other.”
“I’m telling you because James still loves you, and what’s more I think you still love him too.”
Noelle was rendered speechless for a few moments before she found her voice. “Is that what he told you, that he still loved me?”
“It wasn’t something he volunteered at first but I managed to get it out of him. Besides, I was there at the art gallery and saw the way he looked at you. I put two and two together. So I kind of interfered a bit.”
“By coming here?”
“That, and hiring you to provide the cupcake tower at my event this past Saturday. I was kind of hoping you and James would run into each other but it didn’t quite work out the way I expected. You saw me and assumed James and I were still together. We haven’t been for months. Every now and then he escorts me to some events and he’s been helping me save my family business, but there’s nothing between us beyond that.”
The cynic in Noelle wouldn’t let allow her to let her guard down just yet. “And you’re telling me this all out of the kindness of your heart?”
“I see you still don’t believe me.”
“Eleanor, I’m sure you mean well but telling me this won’t make much difference.”
Eleanor’s smile faltered. “Why not? I saw the way you looked at him too. You still have feelings for him. Why don’t you go to him?”
“Because it’s too late. And there a lot that’s happened between us you’re not aware of. I’m not sure how James was with you but he wasn’t always nice.”
“I won’t presume to know what happen, but I can tell when two people care about it other and you two obviously still do. Please talk to him. If the two of you can’t work something out at least you’ll be able to move on with your life, and so can he.”
Paul had basically told her the same thing. This had to be some kind of sign. Maybe it was time she and James had a talk.
Noelle blew out a long breath. “This is something I’ll need to think about.”
“I understand.” She gathered her purse. “Thank you for sitting with me Noelle. I need to get back to my office, but it was really nice finally talking to you.”
“Likewise.” Noelle stood up with her.
“Hopefully we’ll see more of each other soon.”
Long after the shop was closed Noelle still remained in the bakery, telling herself she wanted to work on some new recipes, but she couldn’t get the conversation with Eleanor out of her mind. Finally she gave up pretending to work and searched through her desk. After rooting around a few drawers she retrieved the card James had given her months ago.
She studied the number before picking up the phone and dialing the number.
“Mr. Rothschild’s phone, Stella speaking, how may I assist you?”
Noelle almost hung up, quickly losing nerve. “Uh, may I speak to him please?”
“May I tell him who’s calling?”
“Noelle.”
“One moment please.” The woman was back in less than a minute. “I’m putting you through to him now.”
“Hello?” James asked with uncertainty. “Noelle?”