Chapter Twenty-Three
“I’m so glad to see you here, James. I didn’t think you’d come. Word is you’ve been laying low lately. Eleanor greeted him with a kiss on both sides of his cheek.
“It’s hard to turn down an invitation for the children’s hospital. This is one of the charities I donate to and actually care about. Besides, you’re now on the board so I’m also here to support a friend.”
Eleanor beamed. “Well, I’m glad you’ve decided to come. What’s with the dark suit? You look like you’re dressed for a funeral.”
“Actually, I’m heading to one after I leave, so I can’t stay long.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Was it someone close to you?”
“No actually. I’m not going to pay respects. Basically I’ll be laying some demons to rest.”
Eleanor raised a brow. “Care to elaborate?”
“I could but we’d be here all day. Besides, I don’t want to take the focus away from your event.”
“Well if you need to talk about it, you know I’m here for you.”
"I appreciate it, Eleanor. But I’d much rather hear about how things are going with the restructuring.”
“Oh, you know how it is. Daddy had employed all these stodgy old men who have been with the companies for years. They don’t like taking orders from a woman, nor do they like the idea of me trying to take the business into the twenty-first century. And by the way, I’ve been meaning to call you so we can set up an appointment to go over some business propositions I thought you’d be interested in.” She seemed to thrive in her new role at Harrington’s and they were both proud at what she’d accomplished in such a short period. Her company was by no means out of trouble, but James believed Grace was full of sound and innovative ideas that would eventually turn the company around for the better.
“No problem. Set something up through my EA and we’ll make it happen.”
She raised a dark red brow. “So you’ve finally found a competent assistant?”
James chuckled, taking no offense in her question. “Yes, I finally found someone. Sally is as efficient as they come. As for me laying low, I’ve been out of the country quite a bit for the last few months. I was in Japan for two weeks and in Australia for a month. From there I went to Germany and then finished up in Brazil. It’s a lot of traveling but the distraction has been welcome.”
She touched his hand. “And how have you been doing besides working yourself in an early grave?”
“I’m getting by.” Four months had passed since his last visit to Noelle’s bakery. To keep himself from breaking his promise to Noelle, James had immersed himself into his work, going into the office shortly after dawn and leaving close to midnight. The only time he wasn’t working was when he was at the gym or the rare occasions he’d have lunch with Eleanor.
While many of their meet-ups entailed him consulting her on her business ventures, most times they got together simply because they enjoyed each other’s company. He could talk to her without feeling judged, she made him laugh and she was easy to be around. James never would have imagined he and Eleanor would turn out to be such good friends.
James had done a lot of soul-searching and reevaluating his life lately. He was thirty-nine and had more money than he’d be able to spend in several lifetimes, but had no one to share it with. He was deeply regretful about how focused he’d been on his quest for the perfect life he’d had little time to cultivate real friendships. He couldn’t count on the business associates and country club acquaintances to be there for him if he ever truly needed help. And he only had himself to blame. Hurt by his past, James refused to let anyone in and now all he had were material things.
Running a large conglomerate and traveling around the world no longer held the glamour he once imagined it did. And at the end of the night when he lied in bed, he was lonely. The thought of taking another mistress was distasteful to him. He’d sold the penthouse, unable to bear the memories of Noelle. James couldn’t imagine being with anyone else after experiencing real love.
More and more he considered taking a page out of his brother’s book and walking away from it all. The old man was dead. Sheldon Beaumont Alexander was someone he’d likened to the boogeyman as a child, and someone far worse when he was older. Now that he was gone, James wasn’t sure how he felt. The news of Sheldon’s death was in the papers, where it was also announced the family would have a small private ceremony, so he was surprised when David had called and invited him. It was the first time he’d heard from his brother since their confrontation four months ago. James didn’t read more into the invite than what it really was: a chance to say his last “fuck you” to a man who was hopefully now roasting in Hell.
“Well, I hope you realize there’s more to life than work,” Eleanor patted him on the arm.
“Says the lady who’s been burning the candle on both ends lately.”
“Harrington’s requires every hour of my devotion I can give it, or else those stodgy old fogies will run it to the ground. Your organization, however, is thriving; therefore it wouldn’t hurt if you took a little time off.”
“To be frank, I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. I may consider going on vacation, a real one with no laptop or cell phone. Just me, the ocean and a strong drink.”
“That sounds delightful. But don’t just consider it, do it. Oh, there it is. If you’ll excuse me for a moment James, it looks like the cupcake tower is here. Since some of the kids will be here for this event and I thought it would be a nice touch. I ordered it from that place that did the art gallery event.” Eleanor breezed away without realizing the effect her last words had on him.
Hearing Noelle might possibly be at this event sent his heart racing. He’d vowed to stay away but he wasn’t sure how he’d react if he came face to face with her again.
Suddenly, needing air, James headed outside. All he could think of was Noelle. She might be here and he couldn’t trust himself not to do something foolish around her. Once outside he leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. Just the mere thought of her sent his body into overdrive. He remembered the last time they were together, how beautiful she’d looked, her scent and her taste. His cock stirred and his arms ached to hold her within them again.
When James felt he’d gotten himself under control, he headed back inside and nearly ran into Noelle. She was heading outside flanked by two teenagers, whom he assumed worked at the bakery. When she spotted him, her steps faltered but she continued walking. For a second, he thought she’d walk past him but instead, she stopped when she was next to him.
“You two can go to the van. I’ll be there in a second. And if you turn on the radio make sure it’s not too loud.” She handed keys to the closest kid and waited for them to leave before turning to James. “Hi.”
She looked incredible. Even with the barest amount of makeup she had the type of fresh-faced beauty that came naturally, which no amount of money could replicate. “How are you, Noelle?”
“I can’t complain. Business has been ridiculous lately. I never would have thought the bakery would take off the way it has. How have you been?”
“Existing.” He realized it was a vague answer but he didn’t know of any other way to put it. Without her he couldn’t really call what he was doing living. But he wouldn’t tell her that. It would more than likely cause her embarrassment.
She shuffled from side to side and bit her bottom lip before speaking. “James, um. I’m actually glad I ran into you.”
“You are?” He couldn’t hide his surprise even if he tried.
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot lately and I’ve been so angry with you, holding on to the hurt of that year we had together. I’ve come to a few realizations and yes, you were a jerk, but I played a big part of that.”
“What are you saying, Noelle? How could you possibly be responsible for my asshole behavior? None of it was your fault. And I can apologize you to a million times but it will never be sufficient for what I did to you.”
She shrugged. “But sorry isn’t going to change anything. I can accept your apology and move on with my life but it doesn’t absolve me of my role in the entire debacle. I went into that whole arrangement thinking I could change you, fooling myself that we could have something more. You see, I…I think I fell in love with you almost immediately, James. And I used that love as an excuse for allowing you to treat me so shabbily.”
It was the first times she admitted she was in love with him. James had suspected she had feelings for him when he’d made the biggest mistake of his life and made her his mistress, but he’d ignored them, telling himself she loved his money and lifestyle. He didn’t dare ask how she felt about him now because he feared he had killed any good feeling she had left for him. “I’m sor—”
She held up her hand, stopping him mid-sentence. “Don’t apologize anymore, James. It’s okay, because you see, I forgive you. I have to in order to forgive myself. The very first instance I realized you didn’t feel the same for me, I should have walked away. Even when I knew you were seeing someone and was eventually engaged to her, I kept lying to myself.”
“That’s over Noelle. Eleanor and I are no longer engaged.”
She raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth but she remained mute.
“I didn’t love her. I couldn’t go through with marrying her when I had feelings for someone else. You.”
“James…”
“I know it’s probably too late Noelle but—”
“James, there you are. I was looking for you.” Eleanor walked over to them and touched his arm lightly. To the outside observer, that touch might have appeared like an intimate gesture, but Eleanor was just the touchy-feely type with people she was comfortable with.
Noelle, who had only moments before seemed like she was willing to finally listen to him, visibly shut down. Her mouth clenched and her eyes narrowed as she shot him an accusatory glare.
“Ah, Noelle,” Eleanor turned to her. “I’m so glad I got to see you before you ran off. The cupcake tower looks amazing, the children will love it. Why don’t you stick around for a while to enjoy the event? I’m sure a lot of people will want to know where we ordered that wonderful display from.”
Noelle, whose angry stare was still focused on James, shook her head. “No. I have other deliveries to make. But thank you. I’ve left some cards by the display in case anyone wants to contact the bakery, although my business partner usually handles all the details.”
“Oh, yes, Paul. I talked to him at length. I’m very pleased to see the order is even better than I envisioned it would be. You do excellent work.”
Noelle turned to Eleanor. “Thank you. Well, I have to get going. Good luck with your event and glad you liked the cupcake tower.” She was about to leave but James couldn’t let her go like this, not with her thinking he was a liar.
“Noelle, wait!” He reached out and caught her hand. “Eleanor and I—”
She ripped her hand away from his. “Stop it. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Noelle practically ran out the building.
“Shit.”
“I really messed this one up didn’t I? That’s what I get for interfering.” Eleanor said, her voice heavy with regret.
James was torn between going after Noelle and finding out what Eleanor meant. He finally turned to Eleanor because he knew Noelle wouldn’t be receptive to him. “What do you mean? You didn’t do anything wrong by coming over here.”
“That’s not what I meant. I’ve really stuck my nose in it. Remember when we were at the gallery?”
“Yes,” he answered slowly.
“It was my assistant who suggested I order cupcakes for the kids at this event and the wheels started spinning in my head. Shortly after the gallery event I learned the woman you couldn’t take your eyes off of was the same person who’d done those fantastic cakes at the gallery. So I thought I’d hire her bakery to do the job in hopes of the two of you seeing each other. It’s why I stressed how much I wanted you to come today. It was none of my business to interfere, but you’ve looked so miserable lately and I wanted to help you in some way for all the help you’ve given me. Call me a hopeless romantic, but please don’t be mad at me, James.”
James wished she hadn’t interfered but Eleanor had meant well, so there was no point in taking out his frustration on her. He sighed. “Don’t worry about it. I appreciate your good intentions but I’m beginning to think that ship has sailed.”
“Don’t say that. I can see you still care for her. If it weren’t for my lousy timing you two would still be talking. I should have let the two of you be.”
“It’s all right. Look, I really need to get going. I have the funeral.”
“James, don’t give up on love. Okay? You know about my issues. Because I’m not brave enough to live my truth yet, I let someone really special get away. Don’t ever stop fighting if there’s even a smidgeon of a chance the two of you can find happiness together.”
This was the first time he’d heard Eleanor mention someone else in her life. He’d been so wrapped up in his own misery he didn’t notice hers.
“And it’s too late for you, Eleanor?”
“Yes. She’s moved on and is happy. Me on the other hand, I’m paying my penance. I see a lot of me in you, James. I think that’s why we’ve become fast friends.”
“I think at this point, I may have to give her as much space as she needs.”
“Hmm, if you think so.” She didn’t seem satisfied with his answer but thankfully didn’t elaborate.
“I’m heading out now but I’ll be in touch.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“Sure.”
James believed his pain had dulled, but seeing Noelle again had brought it back in full force.
By the time Noelle returned to the bakery, Donna and Lisa were closing down everything. The shop closed earlier on the weekends and she was grateful for the reprieve. After unloading the van and locking up, Noelle headed to her office, and fell in her chair with a heavy sigh.
Paul stuck his head inside. “How’d it go?”
“On a business level we did great. Quite a few people asked for a card.”
“But…?”
“But James was there. With his fiancée. I talked to him and he told me he was no longer engaged. And then guess who shows up? It was her event actually. Did you know this, Paul?”
“I arranged everything with a Harriet Smith, I’m assuming that must have been her assistant. I might have talked to her once but I honestly didn’t make the connection. If I would have known I wouldn’t have taken the job.”
Noelle shook her head. “Don’t be silly. Business is business. I just wish I would have been better prepared for the confrontation. Actually I’m kind of glad I ran into James. It’s reinforced my resolve to stay away from him. He almost had me convinced.”
“What do you mean?”
“James was here a few months ago and things got a little out of hand. I didn’t tell you or Simone because I didn’t want the two of you to judge me.”
“Besides the time he came when I was here?”
“Yes.”
“I have a confession of my own. I already know.”
“How?”
“I overheard the girls talking about a “hottie” going to your office where they heard some moaning and groaning.”
Noelle’s face grew hot from her embarrassment. When the girls hadn’t said anything to her about it, she assumed they might not have known what was going on, but this was confirmation they did. “Oh no,” she groaned.
“Don’t worry. I had a long conversation with them about spreading gossip in the workplace and I made it abundantly clear their jobs depend on it. But I’m sure you’ll be more discreet next time.”
“It was just a one-time thing. If you knew about it, why haven’t you ever said anything?”
“Because I figured you’d tell me when you were ready. So what happened? I’m sure there’s more to the story than just you two bumping uglies.”
“He was a mess.”
“A mess in what way?”
“He was disheveled. I’d never seen him look like that before. And then he broke down and cried like he lost everything he had in world. It was really awkward at first because I didn’t know how to react. But I could tell he was in a lot of pain. So I gave him comfort and that led to more.”
Paul raised a brow in apparent disbelief. “Are we talking about James?’
“Yes.”
“James Rothschild?”
“Yes.”
“James Rothschild my former boss, billionaire, CEO James Rothschild?”
“Yes! There’s only one James we both know. Look, I was just as surprised as you are right now and I was there.”
“It just seems so out of character for him. Did he ever say what had upset him?”
“No, we never got that far. That’s when Donna and Lisa knocked on the door to see if everything was okay. I haven’t seen him again since today.”
“I see.”
“That’s all you have to say, Paul?” Usually her friend was quite outspoken when it came to James. He had never been shy in telling her to cut him off completely so his silence now, baffled her.
“I’m not sure if there’s anything I can say. I know he hurt you and I saw how devastated you were over him. I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy, let alone someone I’ve come to care about as much as you. But you’re not over him, are you?”
She wasn’t but she was loath to admit it to someone other than herself. “What makes you think that?”
“That was a yes or no question, Noelle. But I guess I have my answer. Maybe the two of you need to have a talk in order for you to move on. You won’t be able to close that chapter of your life unless you finish writing it.”
That made more sense than she was willing to admit, but seeing James with his fiancée again had opened old wounds. When he’d declared his love for her, a brief second she was ready to admit she still loved him too. Almost. Noelle wasn’t sure she had the strength to see him again without shattering the little bit of self-confidence she’d managed to build. She wanted to believe she’d hold firm with him but James Rothschild was the Kryptonite to her Superman.
“You may be right but I don’t trust myself around him. What if I do something stupid again?”
“And what if you don’t? You’ll never know. To be quite honest, I never thought James was a terrible person, I just didn’t like how he treated you. I am by no means advocating you give him another chance but you two need to hash out your issues, otherwise you’ll be stuck in limbo. You owe it to yourself.”
“You’re right, but I’m scared I’ll make a fool of myself again.”
“Don’t be so down on yourself, babe. I know you’ll do what’s best for you.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Paul.”
“That’s what friends are for. You don’t have to make any decisions now. Just think about it, okay?”
“Sure.”
“Good.”
“And now that we have that established, how is it going on the Simone front?”
Paul rolled his eyes. “That cousin of yours is more stubborn than a mule. But I think I’m wearing her down. She doesn’t run the other way when she sees me coming at least.”
“That’s a positive sign. She asks for you sometimes.”
Paul perked up, a grin spreading across his handsome face. “Really? What does she ask?”
“Just how you’re doing and general questions involving the business.”
“That woman is going to be my future wife whether she realizes it or not.”
Noelle chuckled, happy to get her mind off her immediate problems. “So I guess that will make us cousins if you succeed.”
“Bite your tongue, woman. It’s not if I succeed. It’s when I succeed.”
Noelle shook her head at her friend, wishing she had his ability to be sure so of things.