Eleven
Astoria
Oh, God, how can I sit here and ask her to tell me all that happened? The pain on her face is as evident as the sun in the sky. Yet, she keeps talking before I can stop her.
"He asked me if I had slept with Parker when we visited Arrow Falls, or at all in the time I knew him. I said no, of course not. Parker and I never had that kind of relationship. I was looking forward to being a part of their family. Their parents were wonderful and always treated me kindly. Brant ripped the phone from my hand and threw it. Luckily, it landed on the carpet near the front door. Then he was on me. His hands, which were so much larger than mine, were on my arms, pulling me from the chair I was sitting in. The pain was awful. I could feel my skin bruising as he held me.
"Brant was in my face, throwing accusation after accusation at me. At one point he even asked if the baby was really his. Of course, it was. Outside of me swearing I'd never slept with Parker, we hadn't even seen him since long before I got pregnant. Just goes to show how he wasn't thinking. Words flew from his lips. He called me all kinds of names: whore, slut, bitch, and so on. They were ones he'd never said to me prior to that day. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't break free from his grip, so I cried. I cried so hard I could barely see through the tears. He was hurting me on the inside and out. I begged him to release me. When he finally did, he threw me to the floor. I landed hard on my side."
Tears are flowing freely down Blair's cheeks as she talks. She doesn't wipe them away. All I want to do is rush to her side. To throw my arms around her and tell her how sorry I am about what happened to her. How I feel like the lowest of the low for thinking she was sleeping with Parker. How must she have felt after her fiancé accused her of cheating, and then for me to do the same thing to Parker only hours after what she went through. My stomach churns. What I said, the way I reacted, it all floods back to me, but not the same as it has the past four years. No, this time I see it from Blair's point of view. I see someone who I consider family, assist me in my battered state, then watch as his heart breaks over losing his love, only to come back and help me heal.
She continues, this time with tissues in hand so she can wipe her face. "When I was on the floor, I curled into the fetal position in an attempt to protect my stomach any way I could. It was instinctual. There was a baby in there I would have given my life to protect. Brant rolled me onto my back, pulled my legs away from my body, and straddled them. He pushed my hands above my head and held them there as he ground himself against me. I'll never forget his words. 'You like that, Blair? You want me to fuck you so you remember who you belong to?' He was turned on and I was breaking inside. Everything hurt. The man I loved was going to rape me and there was nothing I could do to stop him.
"Once he finished forcing himself on me, I cried harder at what he'd done. Then he hit me again, but where it mattered most. There was a beautiful life inside me and I couldn't do anything to stop him. I tried. I hit him back. I pulled his hair. I scratched his arms, but nothing I did made him stop. He had no intention of ceasing his attack."
Parker squeezes my hand in his, letting me know he's here. Blair isn't the only one crying now. I'm trying hard to choke the tears back, but it's of no use. Even as I glance at Parker, I notice his eyes aren't dry either.
"There was a knock at the door. More like a fist banging on it. Brant stopped his assault and put his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. But he forgot to lock the front door earlier. Our neighbor, Jack, came in. The look on his face—he was horrified at what he saw—however, it was quickly replaced with anger. He lunged at Brant, knocking him off me. I lay there in shock, unsure of what to do until Jack started screaming for me to run. It was fight or flight at that point, and I had no fight left in me. I was in so much pain, but managed to pull up my pants and crawl to the door where my phone still laid. I scooped it up and reached for my purse, which I had dropped on the couch earlier that day. In seconds, I was out the door and driving. I didn't know what else to do. I should have gone to the police right away, but the only thought in my mind was that I needed to get as far away from Brant as I could. So, I drove home to Arrow Falls and to the one person I knew I could trust with my life." Blair's eyes find Parker. Her tears have dried, and the only way I can describe the look on her face is thankful, but devoid of hope.
"Parker saved me. After we went to the hospital and I talked to the police, we found out Jack got hurt pretty bad as well. He was an older guy, retired. He didn't stand a chance against Brant. He ended up with a broken jaw and arm. Brant was charged with multiple crimes. I still have a protection order against him. He's up for parole soon, from what my attorney told me. Brant knows he's not supposed to come anywhere near me. I won’t put it past him to come for me, though."
Parker speaks up. "If he does, I'm going to put a bullet in his head. I've told you, B, I'm going to kill him if he tries to hurt you. I won't even think twice."
"And I've told you that we'll let the cops handle him. I don't want you to spend your life in jail for murder."
"B…”
"We're not doing this now." I can see her side, not wanting her best friend in jail, but on the other one, Parker wants to protect her, and I can't blame him for it. I want to protect her, too. She's been through so much already; she shouldn't have to endure more.
I'm not sure what to say. So, I do the only thing I can. I stand and walk over to her. I lean down and wrap my arms around her as she sits behind her desk. I whisper to her how sorry I am about everything. About what happened to her. About the way I behaved and accusing her of sleeping with Parker. She holds me tight for a few moments then releases me.
"That's why I wanted to talk to you," she says. "I know Parker told you, but I was worried you might not believe him. I wanted you to hear what happened in Chicago. It's the truth—all of it. Parker is like a brother to me. I've never had romantic feelings for him. Eve…" She smiles and it's the first time she does so since she started telling me what happened. "Eve thinks Parker and I would make a great couple. She's asked me over and over again why we haven't dated. She also doesn't know what happened. No one does but my family, Parker's, law enforcement, attorneys, and now you."
"I won't say a word," I swear.
"I'm not worried about that. I know you won't. The reason we haven't told anyone is that this town is very small and word travels fast. I don't want my business mixed up with my personal life. It's one of the reasons I use a pen name. Yes, there are people here who know my real name, of course, but the police records aren't public. I was already well into my career when this happened and did whatever I could to protect myself from the public finding out. We didn't even go to the local hospital when I came back to Arrow Falls. I wouldn't let Parker take me there and begged for him to drive an hour south to where someone local might not see me. My books help me. When I can pour my emotions into the story I’m writing, I feel a little lighter. And when I can get lost in a world I create, all the better. My characters help provide me with an escape I so badly need."
I nod. "I can understand that. I read to get away from reality. Books give me comfort when things get bad."
"I'm sorry," Blair says quietly.
"Please don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who didn't take the time to hear Parker out. I was horrible. If I would have listened then, everything would be different right now. I ruined so many things."
Parker comes up behind me. He wraps an arm around my waist as he offers a hand to Blair. She takes it and stands.
Pulling us all into a hug, he says, "We all have regrets. Let's not dwell on them. I love both of you with all my heart, though in very different ways."
I smile, and Blair laughs lightly. I'll never get tired of hearing him say he loves me. I've craved hearing those words all the while I was trying to put my heart back together. Maybe I did know, somewhere deep inside, that what I thought wasn't as it seemed, though I kept pushing that tiny inkling away. There was always a tortured part of me that wanted to be with him again, even with what I had seen. I hated that part for a long time. I knew I shouldn't want him in my life, but how do you let your first love go so easily? He plagued my dreams, both waking and sleeping. He was like a ghost, always following me around. I guess I never did get over him and that's part of the reason why I'm back in his arms. Because I finally decided to give him a chance to explain.
I vow to do all I can to move forward and not dwell on the past and the pain I endured. Now that I have the whole picture, what happened to me was nothing compared to what Blair went through. I want to be here for her as much as I can. I want to help her in any way. No woman should have to experience what she did. Not only did the man she loved hurt her unimaginably, but she lost a child. That pain, I can't begin to process all she's dealt with.
Just before we let go of one another, I say to Blair, "Regardless of what happens with Parker and me, you're going to have me in your life." I pull back and look into her eyes, where tears start to build again. "I'll never be able to turn back the clock and be there for you, instead of running away with accusations leaving my lips, but what I can do is be someone for you to lean on in the future. If you need anything, I'm here for you."