Thirteen
Astoria
How do I do this? How do I start over with Parker? He had me burning with desire in a matter of minutes. I tried not to let my mind fog over with lust, but with his hands and mouth on me, there wasn't a chance in hell my brain would win.
The shutting of a door cools my body like a cold shower.
"Cy and Eve must be home," Parker murmurs. "Are you ready to meet them?"
"I've already met both of them." I smile.
"Yes, but this is different. Now we're back on good terms, and you're in my home with your cheeks flushed and lip gloss smeared." Oh, fuck. I untangle myself from Parker and quickly dart into his attached bathroom to fix my lips. There's nothing I can do about my cheeks. Now that I'm looking at them, they only get redder at my embarrassment.
Parker comes up behind me and wraps his hands around my waist. “You're adorable when you blush.”
"Fuck off," I respond. "I hate blushing. It's like a big flashing light letting everyone know how I'm feeling."
"I think you notice it more than anyone else does. Well, maybe except for me. I always knew when you were embarrassed."
I turn in his arms and look up at him. His green eyes hold mine, and in them I see so much love. The same love that's been there since I came home. That doesn't mean I'm ready to tell him how I feel. Sure, he knows that I want to be with him, and want to start a relationship again, but I'm not ready to say I love him. God knows I do, though. I place a quick kiss on his lips. He takes my hand in his and leads me toward the kitchen.
My nerves officially set in. Sure, I knew Cy way back when and I met Eve the other day, but now I'm in Parker's home, holding his hand, coming out of his bedroom for fuck's sake. I doubt Cy has the best feelings for me. Eve, I'm unsure of. She doesn't know me, except for what Parker has said, and what she saw between us the other day. Then again, neither Cy nor Eve knows about what happened to Blair and I have to remember I can't let it slip what I know. I will protect her secret to the best of my ability.
Cy is wearing a pair of off-white shorts and a light blue polo. His dark hair is neatly combed back. The shirt only drawing more attention to his crystal blue eyes. I've always felt a little uneasy when he would look at me. There is something about his gaze that's still there today. Like he's silently assessing and judging me. He knows I hurt his best friend. If the shoe were on the other foot, I'd have pure hatred for the person who broke my friend’s heart as well, but he doesn't know the full story. I need to cut him some slack and somehow get back in his good graces.
Cy crosses his arms; his stance is rigid. "What's going on?"
"Ease up, Revere," Parker says. "Tora and I are back together. Well," he turns to me. "We're working on a relationship."
"And what about everything that happened four years ago. It's all forgotten?"
I cut in. "It was a misunderstanding that's been cleared up. I thought Parker cheated on me. He, in fact, did nothing of the sort. I should have let him explain before I left for college, but my heart was shattered, and I couldn't imagine him saying anything at the time which would have made me believe him."
Eve steps forward, placing herself between Cy and me. Her hair is pulled up into a ponytail. Her makeup is light, not that I think she needs any at all. The soft pink dress she's wearing compliments her slender frame. I can understand what Cy sees in her. She's beautiful.
She takes my hands in hers and graces me with a bright smile. "Astoria, it's so nice to meet you finally. I know we met before, but I'm not counting that."
I return her smile. "It's nice to meet you, too. I'm sorry about all that happened and didn't mean for you to get in the middle of it."
She drops one of my hands and waves her other one in the air. "It's already forgotten."
"Thank you and please call me Tori."
"Not Tora? I noticed that's what Parker calls you."
"And I’m the only one who does so," Parker says from my side.
Eve rolls her eyes then notices me peering over her shoulder. She glances at Cy. "Ignore him. He's just protective of his family."
Cy adds, "Parker and Eve are my only family. They are mine to watch over and make sure they are happy. You better not be here to cause more trouble."
Eve releases my other hand to turn to him fully. "Could you not?"
"I want to make sure Tori knows where I stand."
"Good God, everyone knows where you stand. Right in front of Parker and me. You're like a damn wall of pissed off man. Enough. Didn't you hear Parker say he's back together with her? Obviously, they've worked everything out. The details aren't yours to know. You just need to be supportive and mind your business." She spins back around to face me. "He means well, but sometimes comes across very harsh."
"It's okay. I understand him being leery of me. A lot has happened, and both Parker and I have changed. We're going to be getting to know one another again." I lean to the side to address Cy. "I'm not going anywhere. You can either deal with it or I'll be sure not to be here when you are. But I'm not leaving. At least not right now."
"What do you mean, not right now?" Parker asks.
I face him. "I still need to find a job. I'm going to take the summer to look for something, but I don't know where the job will be."
He forces a smile I’m sure he doesn't feel. "We can talk about this later."
We're only just starting a relationship again. I want to be with him, but need to think about more than that. He's not happy about the fact I could leave, but I don't want to keep anything from him and lead him to believe I'll live in Arrow Falls forever. Hell, I could. I could find a job in the city and commute from here, however, I haven't even started looking. For all I know there aren't any jobs open in the city for an editor. Parker needs to understand there is a possibility of me leaving for my dream job. We’ll find our way if we’re both willing to make this work. That much I have faith in.
Parker is quick to change the subject. "Who's hungry?"
"Me," I reply. My nerves settling a little.
Eve lets us know she and Cy have dinner reservations tonight. They are celebrating their house being completed. The structure that is. She tells us they now have to pick out paint colors, appliances, fixtures, etcetera. Pretty soon they won't be living with Parker anymore. Maybe I came back into his life at the perfect time.
Parker suggests we order in. It's not quite dinner time yet. I don't want to eat while Cy and Eve are here, so I sit on the couch and talk with Eve for a bit, before she has to get ready for her date with her husband. We don't talk about anything serious. She asks me about college and what my degree is in. She even asks me how I met Parker. I love telling that story and do so with a smile on my face the entire time. Parker joins us and gives his side of the story. We laugh, and I sink into his side, relishing in his warmth while we talk. She tells me about working for Blair and how much she loves it.
We stay on the couch while Eve gets ready. Cy doesn't make another appearance until they are walking out the door. He's not happy with me and that's okay. Hopefully, he'll warm up in time. I won't push him, however.
The food arrives, and we sit at Parker’s dining room table to eat. Each bite I take, butterflies flutter inside me. Being alone with him again and eating seems so natural, but at the same time brand new. On the one hand, I hope I always have butterflies when Parker is around, but on the other I miss the comfort and ease we had when we were together. I would love to have both again. That new, amazing, exciting part of being in a relationship, and also the rightness of being with the one person who makes you feel whole.
I eat and use the napkin to wipe my mouth. I'm nervous about food being there and looking like an idiot in front of the man who still holds my heart. We talk and catch up. We both share what we've been doing while apart. It's like I'm having dinner with an old friend, and in a way, I am. Parker was always more than my first love. He was one of my best friends. I spent so much time with him. We lived and breathed each other that summer. It's good catching up, but God I want so much more.
Sitting here, both of us finished eating and watching the other, I want to climb on his lap and bury my face in his neck to inhale his scent. I want to touch him all over. I want us back. Can we have what we did before, or am I a fool for thinking it could be the same? Maybe it is a lost dream to want us back to the way things were.
"You're overthinking," he says.
"You remember the little stuff about me. I don’t need to say a word for you to know what I’m feeling."
"I never forgot. I thought I did. I would try to remember the way you moved or the way you talked and smiled, but over time, the memories faded. Now that you're in front of me again, it's all coming back. I know I keep saying it, but I've missed you so much."
I don't think about climbing into his lap this time. I stand and walk to his seat. He pushes the chair back and I straddle him, thankful there aren't any arms on the chair.
The second I'm settled on him, his hands find my ass to hold me in place. Reaching up, I hold the sides of his neck as my thumbs rub over his skin. We look into each other's eyes as a million unsaid words run rampant in my mind. He’s the only man I've ever loved. I thank whoever is listening that he was brought back into my life, and we're able to clear everything up and start anew. Now that I'm back where I belong, I never want to leave his arms.