Lily

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I gaze up at Rafe and see his eyes half open in desire. He searches my face and traces a finger over my mouth.

“Rafe... Why did you change your mind about me?” I ask quietly. Sure, he finally talked to me yesterday and flirted, but that didn’t change everything.

He pulls back just an inch, searching my eyes.

“You do something crazy to me, Lily. I couldn’t fight it anymore. I wanted to see if your touch would still fix everything.”

Fix everything? Does he want me because it’ll fix something now?

His mouth comes down on mine. His hand slides up my leg and body, molding me like wet clay. I want to talk about it and understand, but my mind is shutting off. But what will he feel when I talk to him, when I explain what happened to me? I push that thought away. We’ll talk. Soon. Not here in the limo.

He slips his hand down between my legs to rub me through my clothes, making me press against him and moan into his mouth.

“Damn, you’re wet already, aren’t you?” 

He leans one elbow on the back of the seat behind me so he’s over me, kissing me and touching me, making my body heat up and aching desire seep through every inch of me.

I flatten a hand on his chest, feeling it rise and fall. I slide my hand over his smooth skin up to his neck and back to his hair. His tongue caresses mine; then he nibbles on my lips before kissing me deeply. The feel of his tongue on mine sends heat straight through me. I’m aching to feel him inside me.

His hand moves to take mine and hold it hostage above my head. My hips move on their own accord, wanting his hand back between my legs. Need and desire take over.

We kiss until I can hardly breathe, and then he goes back to my neck. As his mouth kisses up to my ear, I lose it. My body arches into his, one leg sliding up his to curve around his body.

“Lily,” he says, but keeps kissing me. “Lily, wait.”

I clench his shirt in my hand, aching for him.

“They’re still taping,” he says quietly in my ear.

I almost don’t care. I want him. He wants me. He knows he does. He can’t deny it.

But I try to think straight. Maybe he doesn’t want it as badly as I do. Or maybe he is just concerned with being taped.

He leans back but doesn’t let go of me. “Wow.” He runs a hand through his hair and looks at me again, his eyes still clouded.

“Yeah, wow,” I say on a breath. My body throbs and tingles. It’s clear we still have explosive chemistry and know how to touch each other. I could never get enough of him.

I hear a click and a voice comes over the intercom. “We’re coming into the airport now.”

Rafe leans back away from me and runs a hand down his shirt, then glances over at me to do a once-over. It’s probably to make sure my clothes aren’t messed up, but it sends a shot of hot need and pleasure through me.

Outside, it’s just starting to get dark and the helicopter is lit with bright points of light. The blades are spinning, but the limo pulls up fairly close. A thrill runs through me because I haven’t done anything like this before. For some reason, even though I’m afraid of heights, flying has never bothered me. I guess it’s a different kind of height.

We exit the limo and the wind from the helicopter blades sends my hair flying around. The driver hands our bags to us and waves goodbye. Rafe rests a protective arm around my shoulders as we hurry to the open helicopter door and climb in.

The copilot turns around and motions for us to each put on a headset. That helps with the engine noise I notice.

“Welcome, Rafe, Lily,” the pilot says. “I’m Marcus Tebul. I’ll be flying you to your cabin for the night. You’ll find your seatbelts right there. Let James here know if you need any assistance... and now, are you ready for takeoff?”

“Sure are,” Rafe says, wearing a naughty smile. I duck my head, wondering if the pilots can see my expression.

We lift into the air and I turn to the window to watch the ground fall away. The skyline comes into view with lighter blue over on the horizon. The city is a thousand lights that blur together as we rise. I feel safe inside the helicopter when normally I get dizzy when I’m high up. It’s a fun feeling this time. I laugh and turn to Rafe as he takes my hand, and our gazes lock for a minute.

I’m not sure if things are better or if we’re caught up in the moment. I almost don’t care. It feels so good to hold his hand and see him smile when he looks at me. Our fingers are threaded together and he squeezes my hand. Maybe he understands just how I feel. I want to talk to him now, get everything out, but the pilots can hear anything we say over the headset. So I just hold his hand and look out the window.

The world grows dark and the stars come out. The lights all fade away except for the occasional house in the hills. Then I spot a brightly lit area up ahead. As we get closer, I see it’s a landing pad. The house is harder to see because it’s not so brightly lit. The flight is over all too soon and we set down. The engine and blades wind down but don’t turn off, and the copilot comes around and opens our door.

He escorts us halfway to the cabin, where he shakes hands with Rafe and then me.

“Enjoy your evening. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

We watch him walk back and Rafe takes my hand again. He has both our bags in his other hand. Up ahead, I can see it’s a deluxe cabin, as promised. The helicopter leaves as we reach the house, where Rafe takes out a key to let us in.

“Ladies first... One beautiful woman first, that is.” He swings open the door and holds his arm out for me to enter. His hand slides across my side as I walk past him, and I catch myself looking into his eyes again.

When I step inside, I’m surprised by the aroma of a delicious dinner and my stomach growls. Eating hasn’t been a high priority with everything else going on, and suddenly I feel famished.

“That smells...incredible.”

“I hope you still like seafood. The caterers prepared a seafood bisque.”

The caterers? So he cooked dinner for Kara but not me tonight. I try to tell myself there wouldn’t have been time. It doesn’t matter.

I walk farther into the cabin to explore around while Rafe takes our bags to the bedroom. At least, I assume that’s where he’s taking them. Maybe we each have a room. I’ve tried not to think about it, but now it consumes my mind. What if someone else had won a night with Rafe? I can’t handle it and push the thought away. Instead, I check out the dining table, decked out in candles and ornate dining utensils. Champagne and Moscato chill in two ice buckets. A heated pot holds the bisque while I find other things under covers, including skewered shrimp and fish fillets.

Rafe returns and crosses the room while gazing at me. I can see confusion in his eyes, and I realize how torn he is. He’s wanted me off this show and out of his life again. But here we are. I finally have my chance to talk to him. And, apparently, he wants answers.

When he reaches me, Rafe pulls my body against his, one hand sliding around my waist while the other threads up into my hair. Suddenly, he grabs a handful of hair and pulls my head back, taking my mouth in a deep kiss. His groan vibrates through me as he steals my breath. Then, as quickly as it started, it’s over. He steps back, leaning on a chair like he needs the support for a minute. I want to say something, but he pulls a chair out for me.

“Shall we eat?” The flirty, charming Rafe is back. The moment of vulnerability is over. He opens the champagne and pours a glass for both of us.

“To new beginnings,” he toasts.

I’m surprised and speechless for a few seconds. Then I raise my glass and toast with him, adding, “To new beginnings.”

For him?

For me?

For us?

What does he mean? I know his life is changing and this show could be a part of that. Maybe he’ll find someone here. My heart trips over itself. I don’t know what I’ll do if he ends up with someone else, but at least I’ll know I tried. And I’ll have told him the truth.

We begin eating and he makes a noise of appreciation.

“The shrimp are perfect.”

I try the bisque first and close my eyes for a minute. “So is this.” It’s all delicious. The champagne bubbles down my throat, and I can feel it start to go to my head. It’s just a light buzz.

“I heard you cooked Kara dinner.” The words slip out, and I take a big drink, wondering what the hell I did that for. I glance at Rafe and see his pained expression. I might have actually embarrassed him. But no, Rafe doesn’t get embarrassed. “What is it?”

He shrugs. “Ahh, fuck it. I learned to cook. I made roasted duck, and it turned out awesome.”

“Really?” I ask, trying not to sound too surprised.

“One of my friends was in school to be a chef, so he was always talking about his class and showing me things. So I learned some things from him, and sometimes, I’ve thought about what you’d think. Old habits, I guess, right? You’ve probably done that too. Realized you were planning to tell me something before remembering we’re not in each other’s lives. We were friends a long time though.”

His openness and honesty have me staring open-mouthed. I compose myself, thinking fast. My emotions are making that hard. And to make it even worse, I feel the sting of tears in my eyes.

“Rafe...” We stare at each other across the table. Finally, I say, “I’ve missed you.”

It might be too much. We’re quiet for a long minute.

“You went on with your life while I was away.” He takes a slow drink, sets his glass down, and stares at me.

“About that night...” I’ve practiced this talk so many times, but I’ve never figured out how to start. So I ask quietly, “What happened with your dad after that night?” I know that night isn’t something he wants to talk about, so I’m easing my way into it. Plus, I’ve been curious all this time. I never heard.

Rafe slowly pulls in a deep breath and releases it. “He’s in prison right now. He’s got fourteen years still for conning people. His luck finally ran out on him.”

“I’m so sorry,” I say, because I am. The man was a liar and a thief, and not a good father to Rafe, but it’s still his dad in prison.

He shrugs. “Yeah. He made his choices. Those choices led to this. I don’t even know if I’ll talk to him when he gets out, but that’s way down the road. I try not to think about it now.”

“But your mom?”

“She’s doing well now that I can take care of her. I bought her a house. Hopefully, that will help her so she doesn’t take my dad back when he gets out of jail.”

“Wow, that was nice of you. I bet she’s proud of you,” I say, and I really mean it. “I’m proud of you for how you kept fighting and followed your dreams.” Rafe always wanted to break out of the neighborhood and make something of himself. He kept on that track, except for trying to help me with my bills, and he paid a huge price for it. I keep reminding myself that he made it anyway, but that doesn’t really fix my guilt. He lost three years of his life and his Olympic dream. I hope he doesn’t see the change in my expression.

“Thanks, that means a lot.”

“What happened?” I finally ask. It’s the loaded question I’ve been carrying around for six years now. I tried and tried to figure out what really went wrong, and it’s haunted me.

“You’re asking me that?” His confusion is tinged with anger.

“I have things to tell you too. I just want to know what happened. I thought things were going fine. You were winning.” I shrug now, at a loss.

“Yeah, I was winning. After playing since I was a kid, it was like I had a natural knack for the game. Or maybe karma let me win to make up for my dad’s awful luck. I kept playing bigger players and bigger games. Everything was working. But you know I owed part of my success to my dad?”

“Because he taught you how to play?” I ask, then whisper, “Or cheat.”

“I didn’t cheat. I was good. I didn’t let anyone know who my dad was, but that didn’t stop him from fucking things up for me anyway. I had a good night, a really good night. I was on a high and going to call you, actually, when four guys came up behind me. They said my pop owed them money and I’d make good on it for him. He fucking turned me over for his debts. They took everything, and they wanted more.”

I shake my head, the tears building and making their way down my face. “How could he let that happen to you? It wasn’t your debt! It’s so unfair.”

“Yeah, well, you know we didn’t get a fair shake from the beginning.”

I wipe at the tears. Why didn’t he just call me? Something else happened. Rafe is watching me, waiting for me to catch up.

“What did you do?”

“They wanted more money, and they had this job. They wouldn’t take no for an answer. I tried to take off, but they were watching me too close.” His eyes focus on somewhere far off, his mind wandering back, and I watch how it hardens his face. His brows pull together, making a line. His jaw works.

I’m fitting it all together.

“That’s when your dad’s trailer got shot up, because you tried to take off on those guys.”

“Yeah. And he deserved what he got, but I was worried they knew about you. It wouldn’t take much for them to figure that out. You were right next door. I couldn’t call you. I couldn’t risk it. I didn’t have a choice; I had to do the job. But when I finally agreed, I worked out a deal so I could walk away with some cash too. I was going to pay off my dad’s debt and have money for you. It could have worked out.”

I have to look away. It didn’t work out because of me.

“I’m sorry, Rafe.”

“For leaving me?” His voice cracks. “For leaving me after what I did? When I did it for you?”

“No... I got scared. They shot up your dad’s trailer. They could have killed him! I heard them threaten him. I kept calling you, but you wouldn’t answer. I tried your friends. I tried your hotel and they said you’d checked out. It was like you disappeared...”

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

“Yes,” I say, buying time. I need to tell him. It’s one of the things he should know, but that doesn’t make it easier to finally share it. “So I finally called the cops.”

“You did what?”

Rafe explodes from his chair. He’s looming over me in one second.

I look up into his dark eyes with tears streaming down my face. His body is humming with energy, coiled so tight he’s about to explode.

“Fuck!” He slams his hands into the kitchen counter, then grabs a bottle of wine. He raises it like he’s going to throw it across the room, but then sets it down very slowly. “Fuck!”

I wait, my heart hammering so hard it hurts. He paces and cusses, working through it, and yet I still have to tell him the rest.

“I have more to tell you. You want to know it all, don’t you?”

He speaks while pacing. “We’ve come this fucking far. What else is there?”

“The worst part...”

He swivels and stares at me, his gaze so intense I can’t breathe or speak for a long minute.

“Lily, what is it? What could possibly be worse than calling the cops on me and sending me to jail?”

“You have to know I didn’t mean for that to happen!”

“God, fuck it! Yes, I know that. But spit it out. What else?”

“This letter came for you, and I couldn’t ever tell you about it.”

“Letter?”

I pull in a shaky breath and climb to my feet, then force myself to look at him and say, “A letter came for you from the Olympic committee.”

It takes a couple of seconds, and then his body deflates. I force myself to watch his confusion turn to hurt. I expect anger, but instead, he slowly sits in his chair and runs a hand over his head. He’s in shock.

“I waited three days to open it. I hadn’t heard anything from you or anyone else about you. I had no idea what had happened or where you were. I was so excited at first. You were getting your chance to train at the Olympic center.” I stop because I’m not sure he’s listening anymore.

“And then you heard I’d been arrested.” His voice is low and strained with emotion.

“When everything came out and I knew you were going to jail—” I break off, choked up. “I couldn’t face up to that. I couldn’t tell you I killed your dream.” 

“So you ran.”

“I couldn’t tell you about it while you were stuck in prison. I felt so guilty over you being in there.”

Rafe jumps to his feet and stalks up to me so quickly I take a step back. He points a finger.

“First, you know I’d never hurt you, Lily.” There’s real pain in his eyes because I stepped back. “And second... Goddamn it, I knew the risks. I wasn’t so naïve and stupid that I didn’t know that.” He goes back to pacing.

“I’m still sorry it all happened.”

“Yeah, I wanted to go wrestle in the Olympics, but that wasn’t more important than you. Why didn’t you know that?” His pace picks up so fast he looks like an animal pacing in its cage. The anger in his voice startles me.

“I was?” My voice is full of emotion, and as soon as I say that, I wonder what I was thinking. I did know. Somehow, it’s never occurred to me that I even thought that, but it’s how I acted.

“I was doing all of that for you!” He finally stops and laces his fingers behind his head, leaning back and pulling in a deep breath. “Yeah, I was angry at you, especially while I was inside. Three years is a long time to turn over the same problem. I kept thinking about the day they arrested me, and I never had any answers.” He stands still, his gaze focused off in space.

I wait him out, afraid if I say anything, he’ll realize he’s sharing and clam up.

“Life was shitty on the inside. I pissed off the wrong people. I had to watch my back every second. I was always on edge. I couldn’t let my guard down.” He turns to look at me.

His time in prison really scarred him, far more than I’ve realized.

“The truth is, I was winning and doing everything above board. Those guys came after me because my dad owed them. He used me to pay his debts. He’s the one who forced me to cross the line and end up in jail.”

I close my eyes as tears run down my cheeks. The guilt I’ve carried for so long partly lifts. But Rafe didn’t say anything about forgiving me. Before I can open my eyes to check, or maybe ask, he takes my hand.

“Come with me,” he says. Then he quickly pulls me up into his arms and carries me out of the kitchen and down a hallway. I haven’t even seen the other rooms yet, but he knows right where to take me. Rafe stands me up at the foot of a bed and pulls my face to him to kiss my mouth. Taking me by the hips, he yanks me against him—and I can feel a bulge. His hands grab and squeeze my ass as he moans into my mouth. Then he tangles his fingers in my hair to tilt my head back so he can kiss me even more deeply.

Suddenly, he pulls back and gives me a small push to send me back onto the bed.

I’m breathing hard as I watch him yank off his shirt. His tattoos are sexy as hell and I want to touch them. He doesn’t come onto the bed yet, however. He crosses his arms to grab his undershirt by the sides and slips it off in one quick motion. Next he drops his pants and slips out of them. His body is amazing. Beyond amazing. His pecs are hard and his stomach perfectly defined.

I search his side for his scars, but they don’t show in this lighting. Then I completely forget about it for a while because he’s naked and so hot.

Leaning down, he clutches the bottom of my skirt and pulls it off, tossing it aside. His eyes take me in for a long time.

He finally, finally, crawls onto the bed and slowly makes his way up, kissing my feet first. I gasp and almost lose control at the first touch of his lips on my body. He kisses his way up one leg, tantalizingly slow, then pauses before sliding my thin panties down and off, leaving me completely exposed. I hold my breath, waiting and hoping he’ll kiss where he’s been heading, but he skips over to my other leg and slowly kisses his way down. His breath is hot on my skin, his tongue wet and teasing.

“Rafe!”

He slides both hands up my legs, stopping right at the very top. I moan and wiggle, but he holds me still with his hands. Then his thumbs come up and hover over my clit. I push my body up into his touch. He slides his thumbs down, feeling my wetness, making me arch my body and beg for more. With light touches, he teases me for a long time before he leans down to lick me. One quick little flick of his tongue.

“You bad boy! Stop being so mean.”

“That was mean?” There’s laughter in his voice, but I feel his cock against my leg, and it’s rock hard.

His thumb starts moving in and out and then he switches to his fingers. He takes me to the edge several times before slowing down to prolong it. Somehow, he knows when I can’t take anymore and pumps his fingers until I climax. I’m dizzy from the release. He lets me have a minute, and then his hands are sliding up my legs again. This time, he reaches up for my tank top and slowly slides it up and over my head. I’m down to just my bra, and he uses one hand to undo it. After tossing it with the rest of my clothes, his hands graze over my body and chest, feeling each curve.

“Rafe, I want you.”

He gets up, and few seconds later, I hear a wrapper open. My body responds, coiling up inside, needing him.

“I want you too, Lily.”

I’m panting as he moves up and over my body, between my legs, his cock just barely touching me. I press upward, pushing him into me, but he doesn’t give.

“Do you want it?” he asks, holding himself over me.

“Yes, now.”

“All of it?”

“Yes!” I push up harder. He pulls back.

“Ask me for it.”

“I want all of it, please!” I add, needing him so bad it hurts.

“All of what?” There’s laughter in his voice, but it’s strained too. I wish I could make him wait, but I want him so bad.

“All of your cock...now.” My voice intensifies on the last word, and it does the trick. Rafe slides into me with one long push. I cry out and clench around him as he pushes hard. He groans like he could come right that second. Instead, he pulls almost all of the way out.

“Still want it?”

“Stop teasing and fuck me!” I just about scream. He slams into me and goes hard and fast, making both of us cry out.

“You feel so good,” he says quietly by my ear, sending a shiver down my neck. “You’re about to make me come.”

“Not yet.”

“Not yet? You’re being greedy today, aren’t you?” Suddenly, he pulls away, then grabs my hips and flips me over and onto my knees so he’s behind me. “Do you still like it this way?”

To answer, I push back into him, taking him inside me. His hands explore my body, and he takes it slow, at least until I can’t handle that anymore. When I ask for more, he doesn’t tease. He wants it as bad as I do.

I think he’s about to come, but he pushes back from me and lies down on the bed. Taking my hand, he pulls me on top of him.

“I want to watch you.”

Feeling the need to tease him back, I lift my body up. “Do you want it?”

He grabs my hips and shoves me down. “And I’ll take it.”

That turns me on so much. I start moving and he helps with his hands. And like he said, he watches me. We’re looking into each other’s eyes as it builds, pushing us toward orgasm together.

“I’m going to come!” He grips me harder, moves me faster. I’m screaming when we both climax. Sparkles dance in my vision as I fall over on him.

“Oh my God, Rafe,” I whisper, my voice raspy.

“I know, baby. I know.”