It’s so hot in Delish that I just can’t handle it anymore. I tell Leila that I need to go outside and cool off. I take a seat on the front deck. The fresh air feels so good against my skin. I know my baby bump isn’t very big, but it feels like I’ve got my very own personal space heater. “You’re a hot little one, aren’t you?”

 I swear I could spend a night in the arctic and be just fine. It’s chilly out but it’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining bright. There’s a slight breeze. I think I might even hear a couple of birds chirping off in the distance. Everything around is simply gorgeous. To think what my life was compared to what it is now. It’s like comparing a nightmare to a fairytale. Tying my sweater around my waist, I rub my baby bump. “Come on, little one, let’s say you, and I go for a walk.”

 As I walk along, the snow crunches under my feet. I start daydreaming about what kind of family we will be once our baby makes its grand appearance into the world. He’s so in love with him or her already I can’t even begin to imagine the look on Justin’s face when he holds our little bundle for the first time. Our first night in our home as a complete family. All of the milestones we’ll share. First steps, first words, birthday parties, dance recitals or sporting events. Only to name a few. And Justin, holy fucking shit! He’s going to be a beyond amazing dad.

He's been looking for a new house for us to move into. He says that our place is too small for everything his baby bean is going to need. Which he might have a valid point there. He’s gone overboard already. The laundry room has become baby central. It’s to the point that there’s hardly enough room to do laundry. Then there’s the back yard. He doesn’t think it’s nearly big enough. His little baby bean needs to have a huge backyard to play in. I tried telling him that there’s plenty of time for us to find something that will be perfect for us. But, he’s already on the hunt for our new home.

 Before I was scared to death. It was a paralyzing concern for me. What kind of parent could I possibly be? I had nothing to offer. Then I remember my mom, and what an amazing person she was. With those memories and all the great things about life that I’ve learned from Justin, I’m not scared anymore. I’ll make mistakes. I know that. But we will be a family. We’ll work through any challenges, together. I focused so much energy on the family that I had in the past. I never even thought about the family that the future could hold for me.

Suddenly, everything goes dark. I scream in terror and start grabbing at the rough material that’s covering my face. Someone wraps their arm around my waist, pinning my arms against my sides. They smash something over my face shoving the disgusting material into my mouth. The foul taste of gasoline coats my tongue and burns my throat. I try to kick and claw at anything I can, I fight with everything I’ve got, but the grip around me doesn’t loosen. It feels like I’m being lifted up.

I throw my head back and finally make contact with something. “You dumb fucking cunt! The fucking bitch just broke my fucking nose.”

There is an echo of several men’s laughter ringing inside my pounding head. My body slams down onto something hard. At first, I think maybe I’ve landed on the concrete of the sidewalk. That I’ve gotten away. My heart stops when the sound of a door slams shut and there is the revving of a motor. The force that the vehicle takes off with throws me backward jerking me away from whoever’s holding me.

I take advantage of being freed and start whaling my arms and legs. Pulling at the fabric covering my face and yanking it off my head. Before my eyes adjust and I get an opportunity to see who my abductor is, an excruciating pain shoots across my face. Then everything is gone. 

Gasping for breath, the smell of urine, cigarette smoke, and gasoline fill my nose and throat. Only one of my eyes will open the other feels like it's coated with something. It’s pitch black, but in the distance, I can hear men’s voices hollering and laughing. The pounding in my head is louder than the men. It feels like my head has been bashed in with a fucking baseball bat. What the fuck is going on? That’s when I remember what happened earlier. Panic and fear take over, but I try not to move. It's clear to me that they think I’m passed out and are leaving me alone. Leaving my head slumped over I try to move my hands ever so slightly, but they are restrained behind me. I flex the muscles in my legs trying to determine if they too are bound. As far as I can tell they are. Fuck!

I tell myself that I must stay calm. I need to think this through and come up with some kind of plan to free myself. It’s not just my life that’s at stake, more importantly, our child. I listen to see if I can figure out how far away the voices are from me. It sounds like there is some distance between us. It doesn’t seem like there’s anyone close to me. Whatever it is that I’m sitting on feels flimsy. Maybe if I try to stand up and then fall I will be able to break myself free. Then I can either run or use the pieces as a weapon of some kind. Even in my mind, the plan seems ludicrous, but it’s the only thing I can come up with. I sit motionless for a few minutes. My heart is racing, and my aching body is trembling. I’m so fucking scared I feel like I’m going to puke, but I have to get out of wherever I am. I have to save us.

 I throw my weight forward and then backward as hard as I can. I feel myself starting to fall backward then suddenly I’m falling to the side. When I hit the ground, the chair shatters freeing my arms and legs, but a heavyweight crushes my body.  

 The material is ripped from my head. The second I open my eyes, I know exactly where I’m at. I’m home. Standing across the room from me is my very own father laughing. He stops laughing and just stares at me. Slowly, he takes a drag off his cigarette then starts walking toward me.

 When he reaches me, he squats down. Looking at the bastard who has me pinned to the ground. “Get off of her, you stupid fuck.”

 I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Is my dad really coming to my rescue? Maybe this is his rock bottom, and he finally realizes how seriously fucked up and wrong this is. That thought only lasts for a fraction of a second. My dad grabs me by my blood soaked, hair pulling me to my feet. While the man that was laying on me holds my hands behind my back.

 He gets right up into my face, almost hissing when he says, “You didn’t think that I was going to let you have a happily ever after did you?”

 I try to jerk my hands-free from the gorilla who’s holding them. All the men standing around just laugh as I try to struggle out of his grasp. My dad’s face is still in mine laughing. “My God! You’re such a stupid dumb fucking cunt. You thought that, didn’t you?”

 I spit right in his face. Without hesitation, he starts punching me continuously right in the belly. He drags me over to the kitchen sink where the faucet is running into an already overflowing bowl of water. He holds my head under until the moment when I feel like I’m going to pass out. That’s when he will pulls me out, letting me have a quick breath of air then dunking my head back under the water.

 When he finally stops, he throws me down onto the floor and starts kicking me in the belly. “I’ll get rid of this demon spawn one way or another.”

After that is when things turn worse, each of the guys that are there take turns raping me. For what feels like hours I scream and cry out. But what’s worse than those hours of torture, is the moment when I envisioned Justin, our baby, our life, slipping away from me. I tried to tell my body to keep fighting, but it had nothing left to give. The only thing left that I could do, was beg God for mercy.

 A loud crash pulls me back. As I fade in and out of conciseness the laughter that was filling the room has been replaced with crashes, thuds and deafening bangs. It sounds like a tornado is destroying everything around me. Then… Nothing but silence surrounds me.

My limp body is being picked up off the floor. I’m too weak to fight. I slowly open my eyes, terrified of seeing what the sick bastards have in store for me next. Maybe they’re done with me and will throw me alongside the road somewhere like a piece of trash, leaving me to die. I see that it’s Justin’s arms I’m in. He’s like an angel who has just come through the bowels of hell to save me. I’m so overwhelmed with relief that I tuck my head against his chest and sob as he carries me out of this wretched place.