I wake up to the faint sound of a knocking. “Ms. Sarah. Ms. Sarah, are you awake?”

I get my senses about me and realize it's Darla is standing in the doorway holding my cell phone towards me. There’s a heavy weight around my waist when I try to move. Once I realize it's Justin’s arm I can’t help but smile. 

In a soft whisper, “Ms. Sarah, I’m sorry to wake you but it’s your phone, it keeps ringing. I thought it might be important.”

“That’s okay, Sweetie. Do you mind bringing it over here to me?”

She tiptoes over to the bed, and just as she reaches out to hand it to me, Justin lets out a loud, goofy roar and grabs Darla’s hand. We both scream like the girls we are and Justin busts out laughing.

“That wasn’t funny!” She yells.

Still rolling with laughter. “Yeah, it was!”

Darla sticks her tongue out at him before she turns around and stomps out of the room. I can hear her giggle as she makes her way down the hall.

I turn my head looking back at him. “She’s right, that wasn’t funny. Just remember paybacks are hell.”

Justin snuggles into me. “Hmm, I look forward to it.”

I take a look at my phone to see who’s been calling and I’m not at all surprised that’s it, Leila. I am however surprised that she’s called seven times and text ten times within the past hour. I lean up on my elbow and scroll through the text. They were all the same thing. Call me. I have no idea what would be so urgent. Unless something happened at Delish.

“What’s going on, Kitten? Who’s trying to get a hold of you?”

“It’s Leila.”

Justin rolls over on his back and stretches his beautiful body out. “Well, there’s only one way to find out. Give her a call. I’ll leave so you can have some privacy.”

I don’t want him to go anywhere. In fact, if would love to spend the rest of my life just like this. “You don’t have to leave. I’m sure she’s just checking up on me.”

I know better than that. If Leila were checking in on me, it would have been a single text that said something along the lines of a smartass statement like ‘Morin hooker! How ya feeling? Good now get off your ass and do something.’ No, there’s something up.

I hit the send button and within one ring Leila answers. “Jesus, Sarah, it’s about fucking time!”

“Sorry, I was sleeping.”

She interrupts me. “Oh, you were sleeping. Remember that you’re injured, and you don’t want to hinder your recovery with any sleeping with that smoking hot hunk of sexy that you’re staying with.” She keeps running her mouth, and I know Justin can hear every word she’s saying. I can feel the bed bouncing as he laughs.

“Leila!  For the love of God, shut the fuck up!  What’s going on? Are you guys all alright?”

“Oh shit, yeah we’re all fine. But get this shit, rumor has it that someone beat the holy fuck out of your dad last night. He finally ran his mouth and pissed off the right person,” she gushes

Trying to buy some time to come up with how I’m going to respond I pause. “Leila, don’t you mean the wrong person?”

“Oh, fuck no! I mean the right person. His fucking ass has been in need of this for a long time. And, I mean a long time.” She over exaggerates the word long.

“So umm, do you know what happened?”

“Not really, like I said all I know is that he got seriously fucked up after he left the bar.”

“Oh, wow! Did he get hurt bad?”

“What I’ve heard was that he was at the bar with some of his lowlife cronies and when he got outside. BAM. Right in the face multiple times! It looks like his friends just left him lying in the parking lot. The staff found him when they left. Sounds like he really got it too,” Leila sounds giddy as she tells what she knows.

“Boy, for not knowing much seems like you know a lot!”

Leila laughs. “Yeah, well you know me…not a gossip at all.”

Shaking my head. “Damn, Leila, you’re such a dork. Do they have any idea who did it?”

“Nope. But whoever it was they deserve a fucking medal. Hell, even a damn parade in their honor.”

I’m relieved that no one knows who did it. “You’re right, he probably just ran his mouth too far, and someone got sick of it. Well hey, just like you said he got was he deserved.”

“Yep. He sure did. Well, I think he deserves much more than that. Maybe something more like he should have a good beating every morning when his feet hit the floor just so that he doesn’t forget what it feels like. But you already know that. So how are you doing?”

“Jesus, Leila how much coffee have you had?”

“Just started my second pot. So, how are you feeling?”

“Good. No, I’m better than good. I’m fabulous.”

I can almost hear the smile on her face through the tone of her voice. “I’m glad. It’s about time that you’re doing great. You know that, right?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Leila.”

“Hey Sweetie, I’ve got to go. You make sure you’re taking care of yourself. You hear me?”

“I will don’t worry.”

“Love you, girl.”

“You too, Leila.”

Justin props himself up on his elbow. “So, the words out.”

“Yep, but she said they don’t know who did it. I doubt it’s on the top of anyone’s to-do list.”  I pull Justin’s arm around me tighter.

“One look at you though and someone might put two and two together and figure it out.”

He places a soft kiss on my shoulder. “I don’t give a shit if they do.”

I look back at him. “Justin, I don’t want you to get in any trouble over this situation. It’s not worth it.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. It is worth it. I’m not worried, and I don’t want you to worry about it either. Besides, in my line of work I look like this all the time.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Yeah, okay, whatever.”

“That’s not very convincing. I’m serious. I don’t want you to worry about it. Leila’s right, you need to focus on you. You, getting better. Besides, I don’t think anyone’s going to be seeing me. I plan on staying right here with you. If that’s alright with you.”

I don’t even try to hide the excitement in my voice. “Absolutely! I mean, yeah, I’d love that!”

Chuckling, he snuggles into me.

“Hey, Justin. How’d you know where to find my dad? I mean you could have been kicking the shit out of some random duck dude.”

“It wasn’t that hard. I remembered the car that was parked in your driveway the night I dropped you off. I drove around looking for it and when I didn’t have any luck, I starting going inside every bar I went by and asking. Finally, someone said to check at a place called Beavers Bar. When I found the place, boom there was the car. So, I waited outside. Whenever someone walked toward the car, I’d ask if they were Mr. Crawford. After asking enough people, someone finally said, ‘Who the fuck wants to know.’ I figured that it was a pretty good clue that I had found him. Then when I introduced myself as Sarah’s boyfriend, there wasn’t much more said after that.”

“So, you introduced yourself as my boyfriend? As like in a boy who is my friend? Or as in boyfriend, couple boyfriend?”

I know he’s smiling like the cat who just ate the canary without even looking at him. “So, out of that entire story that’s what you want to know?”

“Yep, it sure is.” I blush.

“Boyfriend, Couple boyfriend. Definitely.”

I do my best to control my excitement but fail in epic proportions. Justin wraps his arms around me pulling me close into his chest, kissing me softly.

Justin calls work and takes some time off. We spend the majority of the time snuggled together on the couch watching movies or some of his fights. It blows my mind how much I love watching him. I always thought cage fighting was just a bunch of overconfident dumbasses with a death wish. But watching him is unbelievable. I see the concentration in his face. He’s like a predator focused on his prey. Him planning his next move and anticipating his opponents next. 

I imagine what it looked like the night that he found my dad. The drunk, stupid bastard stumbling out of the bar with his loser friends. Probably some cheap fuck whore hanging off his arm. The arrogant look on his face turning to disgust when Justin tells him that he wants to talk about me. Then the look of anger when he misses his punch on Justin only to have it wiped off by Justin’s unembellished power. I have to be honest, the thought of it does bring me a little bit of happiness.

Every day that I’ve been here with Justin, I feel more empowered and alive. There hasn’t been any earth moving experiences, just being in his presence makes my entire world different, better. It doesn’t seem so dark and colorless. That maybe there is life after death.

Darla comes over a couple of times a day to take Bruce for his walks. Other than that, it’s purely been us. I’m feeling a lot better. My bruises are fading away but the memories of that night haven’t.

There are nights when I have the most vivid dream about it happening again. But this time Dad got the job done. I see myself lying on there on the kitchen floor. Blood coming from my eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. He walked away, leaving me there on the cold kitchen floor to die. I actually seen the moment when my last breath left my body. Each time I wake up screaming covered in sweat and crying hysterically. Justin’s always right there to cradle me in his arms and tell me that everything’s going to be alright. That I am safe. He holds me close for the rest of the night.

I jump knocking the bowl of popcorn that’s sitting on my lap onto the floor when Justin taps me on the shoulder. “Whoa, Kitten it’s alright. Where’d you go?”

“What?”

I pull myself to the here and now. “Oh, umm nowhere.”

“Liar.”

“Yeah, I know. I was just thinking. You know about… Just stuff.”

“Hey, stop it. The past is the past, and we can’t change it. All we can do is learn from it and move forward. You have to stop letting him have control over you.”

“I know you’re right. I will. It just might take a little time.”

He takes my hand in his. “And I’ll be right here with you the entire time. I know what you need.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. What do you say we invite some people over for some poker?”

“I’ve never played poker before, but that sounds like fun. Yeah, let’s do it.”

“Awesome! I’ll make some calls.”

Justin grabs his phone off the end table but before he disappears into the kitchen, I stop him. “Hey, Justin.”

“Yeah.”

“Can I ask a favor?”

“You know you can. Speak your mind, beautiful.”

“Would it be possible not to invite… What’s his name? The guy from the Delish. I’m feeling much better, but I want to be on my A game when I see him again.”

“Who Duke?”

“Yeah, I think that was his name.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. Even on your C game, you could kick his ass. Duke’s a fucking d-bag!”

I go back to the bedroom and dig through my clothes to see what I can find that doesn’t make me look like a scrub. We are in serious need of doing some laundry. Maybe I shouldn’t be worried about looking like a scrub and more concerned about finding something clean. The day after I said I was staying here Justin cleaned out half of his dresser to make room for my clothes. There’s not much to dig through, but I’m elated when I find one of my favorite pair of jeans. I’ve had these jeans for years. They are worn thin with holes all over the legs. There’s still one small problem though. I don’t have a single clean shirt.

I start going through Justin’s closet. I can’t see him minding me borrowing one of his shirts. I swear he’s the only guy I know who hangs his T-shirts up. I find several with his kickboxing academy’s logo on it. One stands out more than the rest, so I grab it. It’s black with big bold red writing on it. I know that’s going to be too big but its super cool, so I don’t care. I miss the rod putting the hanger back, and it falls to the floor. Bending down to pick it up I see part of a framed photo poking out of the back of the closet.

Looking back over my shoulder to make sure that I’m alone. It feels like I’m doing something wrong. I move the clothes to the side and inch the picture out from behind a box. It’s a family picture. It’s the same man and woman that are in the portrait in the hall.  There are two young boys in the picture. Both boys look like a younger version of Justin.

I’m not sure what it is that I’m looking at. Is this Justin’s family? It has to be. But he’s never said anything about having a brother. It has to be his brother. Both boys look almost identical. Just one’s a little older. But where is he now? Did something happen to him? Does Justin have a similar tragic story like mine? Why hasn’t Justin said anything about him?  

I hear Justin calling me from down the hall, so I quickly put the picture back where I found it, grab my clothes, and head back to the living room.

Justin has a huge smile on his face. “Alright, we are all set. Everyone will be here around six, so I’ve got a few hours to get shit together.”

“So, who’s all coming and what needs to be done?”

He rubs his hands in excitement. “Just a few friends. You’re going to love them. I promise,” he boasts.

I was hoping that when he said, friends that there would be some of my friends coming over. “Oh, okay. Well, what needs to be done?”

“Well, I’ve always believed go big or go home, but this time I think we should just keep it simple. I’ll just order pizza and go grab some beer. I’ve got chips and stuff in the kitchen pantry.”

The moment he mentions the pantry it makes me think of his closet. I instantly feel guilty. Deep down I know I shouldn’t have been snooping around. I’m worried that I didn’t put it back just like he had it. That he’s going to know that I was going through his stuff and be pissed. It’s obviously not something that he wants to talk about or even think about since it was hidden away. Damn it! Why did I have to be so nosey?

“Hey, you still with me?”

“What? Oh, yeah. Just in shock that you have snacks in the house that I haven’t found. I’ll get the chips and stuff ready, and you can grab some beer. Sound good?”

“Nope, I’ll do it. Why don’t you just go ahead and get yourself ready? I’ll take care of everything. I don’t want you to get worn out before the guests even show up. This is the first time you’ve had so much going on.” He tweaks my nose. “Poor thing. I’ve been keeping you all to myself. You’ve been cooped up in this house with just me and Bruce for way too long.”

I’m thinking I’d love to stay cooped up in this house with him for the rest of my life if I could.

Rolling my eyes with a look of disgust on my face. “Yep, it’s been brutal. But you know that’s just the kind of person I am. Always willing to take one for the team.”

“Smartass. Alright, I’m going to run to the store. Do you need anything?”

“Nope, I’m good. Oh, wait! Can you grab some tortilla chips? And guacamole? Oh, maybe some sour cream? Oh, and salsa! You’ve got to have salsa, the kind that sets your mouth on fire.” I grin.

He wraps his arms around my waist and smiles down at me. “So much for not needing anything.”

“Oh, you know, that little thing called a woman’s prerogative. Okay, you go, and I’m going to get started on some laundry. Then maybe I can wear one of my own shirts.” I’m holding up his shirt.

“Kitten, wear that one. It’ll look good on you. A little big, but I like the thought of you wearing my shirt. Besides, you’d look good in a garbage bag.”

“What is it with you and garbage bags?”

“Hey, they’re multipurpose. Says so on the box,” he teases.

I smack him on the chest. “Yeah, I’m the smartass.”

After Justin leaves, I sneak back to the bedroom closet to make sure that I had put the picture back exactly as I had found it. I want to look at it again so bad. Hell, I want to study every single detail of it to see if it has any secrets to tell, but I don’t dare. The guilt from my earlier curiosity is already eating away at me. I don’t know for sure who the other person in the photo is. It looks just like Justin, but I guess it could be a cousin or something. I mean Justin said he felt like he could tell me anything. So, if there were some kind of story I’m sure he would have he would have said something. He’s told me the story about his dad. I know how raw that horrendous event is for him. I could see it in his eyes.

I know I’m over-thinking this way too much. I gather up all the dirty clothes in the bedroom. Grabbing one of Justin’s shirts off the back the chair, the scent of his cologne lingers in the material. I bury my face into the T-shirt and take a deep breath. My God, that smell sends my senses into a frenzy.

The throbbing between my legs starts instantly. Or fuck maybe it’s never really stopped. With his shirt still pressed to my face, I start to think about his touch. My pulse quickens, my breathing turns shallow, my skin instantly becomes extremely sensitive as goosebumps start forming all over my body. I close my eyes and imagine his hands caressing every inch of my body. His mouth crushing against mine, only to work his way down my body, burying his face between my aching legs. His tongue makes slow, methodical circles around my swollen clit, then devouring me completely.

A loud crash pulls me out of my extraordinary daydream. Fuck. I see I’ve knocked a bunch of shit off the dryer and it’s laying scattered all over the floor. I clean up the mess that I’ve made, remembering how it felt to have him touching me. Even though it was only in my mind, it felt so real. I can see if he ever let’s go of whatever it is that’s holding him back, he will become more of a drug to me than he already is.

As if I’m not already feeling frustrated enough, as I throw the laundry in the washer, I brush my swollen nipples against the cold metal. Fucking shit! I can’t take this anymore! I jump into the shower turning on the water on as high as it will go. The stream is beating against my skin. I can’t decide if it’s causing me pleasure or pain. The illusion of Justin’s touch is still playing in my mind. Leaning my head back, letting the water pelt down across my breasts, I run my hands through my wet hair, down my neck and over my tits pinching and pulling my nipples as I go. Reaching down between my legs, I touch my begging clit. Even though it’s not what I want, it will have to do for now. I start to make circles with my fingers. I feel the pressure instantly start to build.

Even though the glass of the shower door has fogged over, out of the corner of my eye, I catch Justin’s figure standing amongst the heavy swirls of steam. I’m not hiding. I’m not holding back. I’m not going to fear rejection. I continue as if I had no clue that he’s standing there.

I feel the pressure building to the point of explosion. Leaning back against the shower wall, I am pinching a nipple with one hand while I continue the circles with the other. I let out a loud groan as my body begins to pulse with pleasure. I press my hand against the glass to steady myself as the final tremors leave my body.

My hand slides down slightly leaving a trail in the moisture that has collected on the glass. I see his hand slowly reaching for the exact spot mine is on the glass. He presses his hand against mine. Even through the glass, I feel the familiar, intense and overwhelming ‘zing.’ My body immediately responds. Wanting him, needing him, wishing that we could share that connection.

“You’re welcome to join me if you’d like?”

He traces the shape of my hand with his finger then pulls away from the glass. He doesn’t respond. I hear a noise that sounds like the bathroom door closing. I guess that I scared him off.

I stand under the water for a few minutes. I’m not thinking of me, or this being a case of him rejecting me. But wondering what’s going through his mind. What’s his reasoning? I don’t think it’s some deceitful game anymore. But it doesn’t make sense. There’s obviously some sort of issue. Was he abused as a child? No, there’s no way in fucking hell that could be the case. He worships his family. I don’t see there being some dark family secret. Then again, who was that boy who looked just like Justin in that picture? Fuck, I wish I could just understand. I wish he would give some hint or clue so I could make heads or tails of it. Hundreds of questions flood my mind. I pour some shampoo into the palm of my hand and start working it through my hair.

The sound of the shower door is starting to open jerks me out of my engrossed state. I stop working the shampoo washing through my hair and just stand there in awe, staring. I didn’t think he could be any more glorious, but I was wrong. Every single inch of him is absolutely gorgeous from head to toe. I’m completely enthralled with watching him looking at me as he slowly steps closer.

“Here, let me help you with that.”

Justin starts to work the soap through my hair. He doesn’t say a word, only stares into my eyes. I want to reach out and touch him, but I don’t want to break this connection between us. I close my eyes when he lifts my chin, letting the water flow over my hair. When he stops running his fingers through my hair, I lower my head and open my eyes very slowly. His gorgeous brown eyes have darkened, and his face is completely serious. Neither of us has spoken a single word. He puts soap in his hands and starts caressing my neck and shoulders. Running his hands slowly down and back up my arms. There’s no hiding how extremely turned on I am right now. Goosebumps are forming all over my body. My nipples reach out in anticipation of his touch. Desire builds deep within my core. I want to touch him so badly but refrain. I watch his hands as he works his way down to my breasts. He takes a ragged breath as he runs this thumbs across my nipples and cupping my tits together. I arch my back into his touch.

He pins my hands above my head, looking directly into my eyes. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

The water cascades down around us as he crushes his lips against mine. There’s so much desire, passion, and raw hunger in his kiss. It feels like my is going to explode right out of my chest. Then just like that, he stops. Resting his forehead against mine and letting go of his grip around my wrists. I let my arms slowly fall back to my sides. Here I am again in this familiar situation. I’m beyond baffled. I don’t get it at all. Even though it’s exasperating as fuck both emotionally and physically, I don’t let it show. I pull my head away from his and look into his eyes. I don’t break the silence. I don’t touch him. The look on his face is different this time. Before it’s been that of frustration. But this time his face is serious, his eyes are dark and hooded. They’re filled with fire and passion.

He doesn’t break eye contact with me. In a low tone, almost a whisper, he mutters, “Fuck!”

He reaches down, grabbing behind my knees lifting me up. I wrap my legs around him, and he plunges deep inside of me. The feeling of us having the ultimate connection is more than I ever imagined. Burying my face into his neck to muffle my cries. I dig my nails into his back, raking them across his skin, trying to pull him closer. Justin lets out a low deep moan as he starts to move slowly.

He keeps his rhythm slow but dives a little deeper each time. He reaches up grabbing my hair, pulling my head away from his neck. “I want to see you.”

He stares into my eyes like he’s trying to look into my soul. Then he slowly runs his gaze down my body. When coming to my swollen nipples, he pushes my back against the shower wall. When he removes one of his arms from around my ass, I brace myself the best I can. He cups one of my tits in his hand and rubs his thumb over my nipple. I let out a cry when he slams deep inside of me and pinches my nipple at the same time.

He continues to slide in and out of me. My body starts to tingle, and I know that I’m going to cum any second. I call out his name and beg him not to stop. He stops and crushes his mouth against mine.

I break away from our kiss. “Please, don’t stop.”

He slides in and out slowly, causing me to build again. He takes one of my hands and spreads my fingers in the shape of a V. Then places my parted fingers on each side of his cock where he’s entering me. It intensifies the feeling of him moving inside of me. With each thrust he pulls out far enough that I can feel the rim of the head of his cock. I didn’t think it could feel any more intense but I was wrong. Not only am I feeling him inside me but to also feeling him move between my fingers. I can’t hold back; the feeling is too powerful. Removing my hand from between us, I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face into his shoulder. I scream out his name. His pace quickens and each move he makes is precise causing my body to tremble out of control as pure pleasure erupts inside my body swallowing my whole.

Even in my dazed and dizzy state I feel him pull me in closer as his body starts to jerk. His breathing is labored and he groans as he hammers into me a few more times. He presses his head into my neck. Even though I just experienced an orgasm of a lifetime having him still inside of me is turning me on. When he pulls out and sets me to my feet my legs are weak. We stand in each other’s arms under the cascading water until the water starts turning cold.

Justin steps out of the shower wrapping a towel around his waist. Taking my hand, he aids me in stepping out of the shower. He pulls another towel from the cabinet and starts to dry me off. He doesn’t miss a single inch of my wet body. When he’s done, he wraps the towel around me.

Justin runs his hands down my arms before holding both my hands in his.

Pulling me close and wrapping me in his arms, he lowers his head and lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

I pull back so I can see his face. “For what?”

“For letting that happen.”

“Justin, what could you possibly have to be sorry about? That was incredible. The connection that we shared was unbelievable. At least it was for me.” I put my hand under his chin forcing him to look at me. “To be one with you… I felt real, more alive than I ever have in my entire life. I’ve felt dead inside for so long. Then when I met you, I started to feel semi-human again. Like I might just have a place, a meaning in this world. To be with you in that way, its makes me feel that I’m actually alive not just existing.” I can feel my emotions getting the best of me. “Didn’t you feel it too? Was it just me?”

“No, Kitten, that’s not it.”

“What, did you think…that I was a virgin?”

“No, not that.”

I don’t know what it could be that he could be sorry about. In a desperate voice I huff out, “Then what?”

He pauses for a moment. I don’t know if he’s unsure about what he’s going to say or if he’s just trying to find the right words.  “I just wanted you to be certain.”

I’m so fucking confused. “Certain about what?”

“Certain that you knew without a shadow of a doubt that you loved me.”

He lets out a long breath that I don’t think even he realized he was holding. With the sincerest expression on his face. “That’s all I wanted, you to love me first.”

I’m so overwhelmed by what he just said. “Justin, I don’t think it could be possible for me to love you more than I do at this moment.”