When I said I was going out on a date, I didn’t think it’d end in me bailing Tiller out of jail, but I can honestly say, at least it wasn’t me in jail this time. And I also have to admit that display in the restaurant was hot as hell. Didn’t you think so? If you answered no, I commend you because you clearly have more self-control than I do.
“I’m going to be later than I originally thought.”
“Oh, really?” Tracy sounds excited. She thinks the date went well. “That’s great!”
If only. “Actually, it’s kind of a mess.” I hold the phone between my shoulder and ear and start my car. “I’ll be a few hours.”
She hesitates, and I hear Kona barking in the background and then River’s infectious giggle. “Is everything all right?”
I pause, then sigh. How do I explain? Should I? It’s not all right. I’m in love with a jerkface who works my heart like the crowds he entertains. But Tracy, she doesn’t need to be bothered with my problems. She’s sixteen.
“Yeah, it’s fine. I’ll be back soon. Is River okay?”
“Yep. She’s watching Beauty and the Beast.”
I smile. She watches it constantly and is obsessed with the beast.
I hang up. And then, for the second time in a month, I’m talking to police officers. Instead of negotiating the care of a child, I’m negotiating the bail of a man who acts like a child. I’m telling them it’s a misunderstanding, like they’ll let him out based on that alone.
I guess maybe they would have if Tiller hadn’t told the police officer she could put the handcuffs on him only if she promised to let him put them on her next.
I use my rent money to bail him out. I know I’m being irresponsible by using my rent money, but I chalk it up to being a good person who wants answers.
As soon as I see him, I demand he tell me why he did that. There had to be a reason for it. “What the hell was that back there?”
“Where’s my bike?” He wants to know, shirtless and careless to anything.
Tiller’s a spoiled brat. Raised by a bachelor with hardly any supervision, he’s done what he wants most of his life and rarely has to answer to anyone for his behavior. And I can’t for the life of me unlove him.
“Where’s your jersey?”
He shrugs, reaching for his cigarettes. “Gave it away.”
I rip the cigarette’s out of his hand. “Your bike’s in the impound.”
He gets in my car, looks at his phone, and I steal it too, and shove it up my dress between my thighs. After I do this, I realize what a stupid move that was.
He smirks. His chest shakes, laughter rolling through his inked body.
“Tell me what that was all about!” I demand, locking my thighs together.
“Do you honestly think I can’t get my phone back?”
Heat licks my face and I can barely keep from panting. “No. I know you can.”
He twists in the seat, muscles flexing, and I try so hard not to look, but I do. Always. His hand grips my knee. “Why do you think I did that?”
I stare at his eyes, wishing he was different and thankful he’s not. “Because you’re jealous?”
His hand moves higher with the thudding of my heart. He bites his lip, his breathing changing, hitching, catching in his throat when he asks, “Do you like him?”
I can’t reply. My throat tightens, but I shake my head.
“Why. . . ?” I pause, swallow, and try to clear my thoughts. “Why do you do. . . ?” I pause, again, unable to get out what I want to say. I give up, my hands on my upper thigh trying to push his hand lower.
He ignores and tightens his grip, but he doesn’t force himself higher. “Then give me what I want.”
I move my hands over his, letting him go further up the inside of my thigh. “You only want my virginity.” His hands at the junction between my thighs, a place only he’s ever touched.
“That’s untrue and you know it.”
I don’t because you’ve never told me.
Holding my breath for a beat, I raise an eyebrow. “What do you want then?”
There’s a sudden possessiveness clouding his eyes, a determination to make me see the truth he tries so hard to mask. “What’s mine.”
“I’m not yours, Tiller.”
I so am.
“Why won’t you be?” His words are sincere, delivered just as he releases a careful breath and stares out the windshield.
I sigh and stare out the windshield too, afraid of what I’m about to say. I’m hardly ever this truthful with him. We seem to always dance around the true meaning behind why we’re the way we are. “Because all you want is to have sex with me.”
He laughs, his eyes crinkling at the corners. There’s some bitterness to the sound, but it’s breathy and makes me want to melt at the sound. “No, I want to fuck you. There’s a difference.”
I slap his shoulder. “Shut up. You know that’s why.”
“Fuck that shit. It’s a goddamn lie.” The amusement’s gone. “If that were true—” He pauses, dauntless and provocative. “I would have been gone a long time ago.” Tiller doesn’t waste his time on anything, yet he does with me. “If I can’t have you, then why do you waste your time with me? You’re constantly calling me, but when I want more, you won’t.”
He’s never been this open with me and for a moment, I’m caught off guard. “You’re my friend.”
His eyes cut to mine, a sideways glance that’s brief. “I’m tired of being your fucking friend.” He turns, facing me again. And before I know it, he grabs my face and his mouth is near mine, inching closer to mine, and then he kisses me. His tongue traces the seam of my lips, eager for more, always. My breath blows out as his breath catches.
When I open my gently parted lips, Tiller groans into my mouth, practically yanking me over the center console, his lips hungry and searching for more. The sound of his soft groan sends a shiver through me. With every move he makes with his hands, his muscles flex and fight for control he doesn’t have.
His cell phone starts ringing, drawing our mouths apart.
In an act of annoyance, Tiller picks it and throws it on the floor of my car, his hands returning to my face. The feel of his hands returning sends a rush of flames through my body, a burning, aching touch.
He stares at me, my heart racing, and I have no idea what he’s thinking, or what he wants from me.
The weight of everything settles over us. Tiller leans in, his mouth at my ear. “I’m more than your friend. I’ve always been more.”
I sigh when he pulls back, settling in the passenger seat, his breathing still heavy. “If I’m more than a friend, come to Alexandra’s wedding with me?”
He takes his cigarettes back and pulls one from the pack. My heart flutters as his lips part. “That stuck-up bitch is getting married?”
“I know, right?” We both chuckle, and his brown eyes weighing on mine, devastating and beautiful. “But yes, next weekend.”
With his eyes heavy on mine, he doesn’t hesitate to ask, “Did you invite Cody?”
I’ve seen love in Tiller’s eyes for years, though he’ll never say it; it’s the possessiveness and instinct to protect that’s stronger. He pretends, withholds, but it’s him who tumbles through my mind, and with the way he makes my heart race, you’d think I was being chased. I am.
“Stop it with him.” I rip the cigarette from his mouth. “I only went because he wanted to take me out. When have you ever asked a girl on a date?”
“I don’t have to. They usually only want dick from me.”
At least he’s honest. “Exactly.”
“All but one,” he adds quietly, smirking.
Is he serious? Look at him? Could he be? I bet if I asked him to be my boyfriend, he’d laugh in my face. Kind of like I did when we were kids and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said no at the time, but keep in mind he was a holy terror as a child and scared me. That’s before I got to know the devil inside him and realized he wasn’t all bad.
What if we could be more? What if. . . he was in River’s life?
I don’t have a plan, but I ask, without thinking, “Okay, I’ll agree to more, slowly, if you go with me to Alexandra’s wedding.” And then I add with a smile, “As my boyfriend.”
Immediately he rolls his eyes, groaning and flopping his head back against the headrest. “Why do you have to put a title on it?”
“Because I’ve never had a boyfriend before, thanks to you.”
Ignoring my ultimatum, he motions to the street. “Let’s go get my bike.”
I take the keys from the ignition and he removes his hand from my thigh. “Not until you give me an answer. And mean it.”
His eyes are challenging. He waits for me to back down. “Fuck. Fine. I’ll go.”
With a grin, I place the keys in the ignition. “By the way, impound’s closed for the night.”
“What the fuck? Why?”
“Tiller, it’s midnight.”
“You knew that, didn’t you?”
I nod, feeling quite proud of how this ended. “Maybe.”