Chapter Four
There was something about me that only Mom knew. I was a virgin.
It wasn’t that I didn’t meet men in New York but just that I hadn’t connected with any of them. That’s what I wanted with my first−a connection. I was a bigger girl too, and I’d always felt self-conscious about that. I felt silly while I washed the plates with Irene at my side. Sarah occupied Logan in the playroom.
“So what do you think so far?” Irene asked, placing the plates on the rack beside the sink.
“All of the men are nice. They seem close,” I replied.
“They’re like brothers. They’ve all been here for a few years at least, and I know that a lot of them aren’t looking to leave anytime soon.”
We were safe to talk now since the house was empty. I looked out of the window towards the barn. “Why did Kathy leave? Is it Logan?”
“No, she got a job with one of the affluent suburban families in town. Kathy likes her nightlife, and she’ll live closer to it this way.” Irene looked at me. “You must miss that, Brie. I know how social Tess was back in high school.”
“It was nice, but they were her friends, not mine. I don’t think it was my vibe as much as it was hers. I can’t draw a stick figure…” My voice trailed off and I shook my head. “I didn’t have a lot of friends there, to be honest. I was focused on school, mostly. I felt guilty that she worked so much for my education.”
“That was always her way, Brie. I hardly saw her sleep most of the time,” Irene admitted. I tried to laugh. That quickly turned to tears and Irene hugged me as I let my grief out.
“She visited us once about a year before you were born. We were at another ranch back then, where Michael had a job. We were newly married, and she breezed into the house in the way that only Tess could. She lit up the room. I was always so jealous of Tess. I felt boring next to her.” She sniffled and stroked my hair. “I asked her to come back after I knew that she was alone with you. She wouldn’t do it, and I don’t know why.”
“I don’t either. She never told me much about him,” I told her.
“The best that I can tell you is that she was fiercely independent, Brie. Once she got pregnant and was on her own, I think that Tess was too stubborn to ask for help. She always was. She wanted the best of both worlds and she killed herself getting that. So stupid. She should’ve just come to me.” We heard a cry from the other room and both looked up as a tear slid down Irene’s cheek.
“Oh, dear,” Irene said as we both rushed into the playroom to see Logan sitting on a dresser, Sarah pleading with him to come down. It was about a three feet fall onto the hardwood floor – he’d undoubtedly get hurt. “Honey, come down from there. You don’t want to fall,” she continued.
I saw him staring at me and smiled as I stepped forward. “Come on, little man. Want to come down for me?” I asked as I held out my arms and watched him tilt his head. “You can show me your favorite toy if you do.”
Logan scooted forward slowly and held his arms out as I reached for him. He leaned into me and I hugged him. Logan was a sweetheart, and I felt something warm inside of my heart as I eased him to the floor.
“C’mere,” Logan said as he took my hand and led me to a corner filled with toys from Finding Dory. Irene shook her head before leaving and Sarah joined us. We spoke in different voices for each toy – me doing a terrible job. I hadn’t seen the film yet, and Logan looked at me with serious eyes. Sarah tried to distract him.
“Does the position include taking him on outings?” I whispered to her. She nodded. I made a vow to take him into town to see the movie and learn all about the little characters that he loved.
I spent the morning playing with him before he went down for a nap just before lunch. I flopped down on the couch, stared up at the high ceiling and took a deep breath.
“He’s a firecracker, isn’t he?” Irene asked, entering the room and smiling down at me. “The pay for a nanny is generous. Lance will give you sixty thousand a year plus your room both here and at my place, including food and benefits. He will take good care of you, and that baby already loves you.”
I could save money with that pay and do online college classes to get my degree in Literature. It was something I had considered before Mom passed away so that I could work and give her a break. I could make a new start – make my life my own.
“That sounds great,” I told her as she nodded. “He is young, isn’t he? Lance.”
“Twenty-eight. His father ran this ranch and his grandfather before that. It’s a family business. Sadly, his father was older and died the same way your mom did, just when Logan was born. Before that, Lance lost his mama to cancer when he was fifteen. His grandfather was already retired by the time his father died, and Lance stepped in and took over with a new baby and everything going on. I admire him for that.” Irene smiled softly. “Michael was already here for five years at that time, and I’d just started cooking for The Burkes. It seemed natural to stay and help out.”
“I can see why.” I pushed myself up off the couch. “What’s for lunch?”
We made sandwiches for Lance, Michael, and Logan. We served sliced vegetables as a side and sweet tea in a pitcher. Lance came in through the kitchen and washed his hands before disappearing down the hall towards Logan’s room. He brought him to the table, Logan still rubbing his eyes. Michael grinned and bit into his turkey sandwich. Logan ate a few bites of his sandwich as the guys discussed a broken fence. I listened while I picked at my own sandwich. Irene said something to Lance as he walked past her to bring his dish to the sink. He smiled and nodded.
Lance walked towards me. I set my glass down and looked up at him. “Logan really took to you today, I hear.” I nodded. “Irene said that you’re interested in the job, so I’m offering it to you. Irene mentioned that she told you the specifics, but I’ll have something written up as well.” He looked relieved. “Generally, I’ll need you during the day while I’m out working, but there will be some nights that I’ll be gone. I have a room all set up near Logan’s for those times. Is that okay with you?”
“Yes, I completely understand that. You couldn’t leave him alone like that,” I assured Lance.
“I do have a top-of-the-line baby monitor that you can put in your pocket if you want to go outside. It’s both audio and visual. I like to get some fresh air some nights and decompress, particularly during the summer months. I’ll take a swim every now and then, and it goes out as far as the pond. I mean, if you want to use it.” I realized that it was him I’d seen at the pond yesterday evening. I kept my face neutral and nodded. “Great.” Lance looked over at Logan wrapping his little arms around his legs. “I’ll have something for you to look at tomorrow. Be good for Miss Terley, bud. I’ll see you for dinner.”
I walked away as they exchanged a long hug. There was too much heat in my body at the moment. I knew what my boss looked like nearly naked. My boss! It felt so wrong to admit how good he looked.
I joined Irene as she cleaned up the counter. “He’s thrilled, Brie. I’m so glad you’re here to help out.”
“I am, too.” I was happy that everything had fallen into place even though I had some uncertainty about keeping up with an active three-year-old. I doubted that I would keep him happy at the ranch all the time. Maybe I should ask if I was allowed to leave the property with him. “Mr. Burke?”
He stood and walked Logan over to me as he gave me a curious look. “It’s Lance,” he told me as I raised an eyebrow at him.
“You called me Miss Tenley,” I reminded him, making him chuckle.
“Logan will be calling you that, so I’m setting an example. I’m old fashioned that way. But it’s Lance when we’re one on one. Sound good?”
“Only if you call me Brie during those times as well,” I offered, and he nodded. “What I wanted to ask is if it’s okay to leave the ranch with Logan? I think it’s good for kids to go places and explore sometimes. I also need to study up on some of his favorite characters.”
“Oh, of course. I support that entirely. You can use the new blue Compass in the driveway for anything you want to do with him,” Logan told me. “His seat is already in the back, and there’s a system for his movies in there as well. Logan needs to be distracted during a car ride sometimes.” Lance grimaced. “I’m going to finish up some fence work with the men, but Irene is here if you have any questions. Sarah is a great help as well.” He glanced at her. “Can you give her my number, Irene? I’d like to be reached if needed.”
“Sure thing,” Irene told him as he kissed Logan goodbye and left the house.