Chapter Nine
I packed about half of the cookies and added them to the bag with the food before I left. Since it was only a short walk, I slipped my feet into some sandals. I clutched my house key as I locked the door. What was I doing?
Meeting up with a friend and his son. Scratch that. I was meeting up with my boss and the child that I cared for.
I made the short walk and wasn’t feeling too sure of myself as I tapped on his door. I heard a squeal and watched as Logan opened the door and wrapped himself around my thick legs. “That’s a greeting a girl could get used to,” I remarked as Lance watched the exchange. “Let me give this to Daddy and I’ll carry you, Logan.”
“He has you wrapped around his little finger,” Lance teased me as he took the bag. I picked Logan up. He wore loose pajamas and smelled like he was fresh from a bath. I inhaled the scent for a moment with a smile. We all walked inside to the kitchen where Lance started digging in and grinned. “She made dinner and cookies? Right on. Want a treat before bed, buddy?”
“I baked those. I was a little bored and started searching the pantry,” I admitted. “I figured you boys would enjoy them.”
“What kind of cookies?” Logan chirped. I smiled at him.
“Chocolate chip with pecans. You can eat nuts, can’t you?” I asked as he nodded enthusiastically. I knew that already but I liked seeing the joy on his face. “I think that Daddy is getting some milk. Let’s go get you a couple of cookies.”
They both ended up eating a healthy helping of the food as well as a few cookies. Lance groaned as he put everything away and I took Logan to brush his teeth. He wanted us both in there for his bedtime story, and I sat in the recliner while Lance sat on his bed and did the reading, his voice changing with every character, making Logan widen his eyes. What an amazing father.
We both kissed him good night, and Lance let me lead him to the living room. “He adores you, Brie.” I smiled and walked over to the sliding glass door. I saw that he had the monitor. “Want a beer?”
“Sure,” I told him. He said that he’d meet me out there. I wandered out and looked at the comfortable chairs set up under the sky around a fire pit. There was also a fancy BBQ with a lot of space for food prep. I admired it all for a moment. I made my way to the seats, sat down in one, and looked up at the night sky with a happy smile.
Brooklyn was amazing, but this… this was stunning. I could hear the animals around the farm settling in for the night and the moon brightened the land for easy viewing. The stars were bright and twinkling in the sky. I looked up and heard the door open behind me. “Here you go.” Lance handed me a cold beer before he sat down in the chair beside me.
“Thank you,” I told him as I took a deep breath. “It’s so beautiful out here.”
“It’s my place where I let everything go after a long day. I had a chance to move to the city a few times over the years. I never did, even when Lauren suggested it while she was pregnant.” I looked at him, seeing that he didn’t realize that he was telling me about Logan’s mom. “She wanted the city life, but I always loved it here. I thought it would be better to raise Logan here.” Something crossed his face, and he looked at me as if to ask if I minded him talking about her. I just smiled and nodded, encouraging him to keep going. “Anyway, when she left I was worried she would take him away from the farm. That wasn’t an issue, as it turns out.” I saw sadness cross his face as he sipped the beer and relaxed against the cushions.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that she chose not to be a part of his life,” I told him in a soft voice. He nodded abruptly.
“I’ve accepted it for the most part. I’d rather him being completely without her than dealing with such back and forth.” He took a deep breath. “I saw her at the rodeo that night. She was with one of the riders, and she was carrying a baby. It was about six months old, and she had this smile on her face. What is it about that child that Logan didn’t give her?”
“That’s why you were drinking,” I said, and he nodded in shame.
“I don’t miss Lauren or even have any feelings remaining for her,” he told me as he met my eyes. “My pain was for Logan, and it tormented me that night. I didn’t know what to do about it until I got home. I saw you here, and I was so at peace knowing that you were here with him. I didn’t want you to leave so I carried you to the bed so you wouldn’t wake up. I just needed to work it out somehow, but I was so angry with myself the next morning. I trusted that you would get up with him to let me sleep, but that’s presumptuous of me to do. I couldn’t apologize enough.” I saw regret cloud his handsome face. I reached out a hand to touch his arm.
“Lance, stop this. You’ve been doing this on your own for a while now, and you deserve a break. I didn’t mind doing that for you at all. Logan is a wonderful child.” I smiled as he stared at me with something in his eyes. “You do pay me generously, as well. I don’t know any daycare that charges that.”
“You deserve it. You’re doing Logan a world of good. I gave you a raise from what Kathy was making, to be honest.” I raised my eyebrows. “I was going to fire her if she didn’t leave. I knew from word of mouth that she was on the phone more than she was interacting with him. She didn’t put him first and once I knew that she was looking to move into the city, I was prepared to hire someone else. I just didn’t think she’d quit so fast.” A smile crossed his face. “When Irene mentioned that she was getting her niece at the airport and what a doll she was, I hoped that you would be the answer to my prayers. You were… in more ways than one.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I came home that night to what I realized I wanted. It wasn’t Lauren or anything that she might have convinced me to want. It wasn’t what she seemed to want with someone else. I had my home with my son and you in it. It felt right once I got drunk and worked that through my head.” He watched my eyes widen and reached up to cover my hand with his. “I know that you are here from an entirely different place–starting over. I know that you’ve suffered a loss. I also know that you’re beautiful and kind and that my son loves you. He told me that the first night that he met you, Brie.” My heart started pounding, and he moved his hand to stroke my cheek. “I got wise to my feelings a few days after that, but it seemed too soon to tell you. Even after the rodeo, it seemed too soon to me.” He smiled and looked into my eyes. “Is it still too soon?”
“Oh, Lance.” I stared at him and then down at the ground. “I like you as well… so much. I thought I was foolish for thinking such things.”
“Why?” he asked as I tried to sort through my mixed emotions.
“You’re a handsome, successful ranch owner. You have an amazing son. I didn’t know what I had to offer you, especially after just a week,” I replied as he chuckled.
“It’s fast, I know. From here, we’ll take it only as fast as you’re ready for. I don’t want to rush a thing, but I do want to get to know you better.” Lance smiled at me as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “For the record, you have a lot to offer, but I also have baggage that you might not be ready for. A son is a lot to take on for a girl.”
“Not when he’s as sweet as Logan, and you’re his father.” I smiled weakly. “I’d like to give this a try.”
“Good,” Lance said. He licked his lips and stared at me.
My body felt like it was flying right up into the sky as I stared back at him. There were so many fears rushing through my mind as I wondered how this would work and what I should do. I was new to relationships and Lance…well, he wasn’t. He had a son. He had a ranch and so much going on. I felt like I was nothing compared to him.
We moved to a chaise lounge that was wide enough for both of us, and that was saying a lot. We sat together and sipped our beer as we chatted about our pasts and looked up at the stars. After a few hours, we went inside and had more cookies before turning on a movie and snuggling on the couch.
“Irene wanted this, you know. She told me that tonight,” I confessed to him as I looked at him with a soft smile.
“I sensed that. She wants the best for Logan and me.” He smiled as he moved closer to me and looked into my eyes. “Can I kiss you, Brie?”
“Yes,” I whispered as he moved forward just enough to brush his lips against mine. They were so full and soft, and it made any of the stupid kisses that I’d shared with anyone before pale in comparison. I felt my innocence strong in my bones, threatening the joy that I felt before I shoved it down. His lips claimed mine again, and I whimpered as he tilted his head and teased my lower lip with the tip of his tongue.
We made out for a while on his couch, the heat growing thicker in the room as I sensed his restlessness. Lance pulled away and took a deep breath. I rested my head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent: a mixture of something outdoorsy and musky. I could smell the ranch in his hair, and I found it intoxicating.
“You taste so good,” he said.
“So do you,” I breathed as I told myself to tell him that I was a virgin and might not be able to offer him what he needed, what he wanted.