Hayley dreamt that she was falling, not at breakneck speed, but gently gliding through the air, almost birdlike, smooth and graceful. She stretched her arms out, enjoying the pleasant feeling. But then her brain registered the noise. A lot of noise. Too much for a dream. She opened her eyes.
‘AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!’ The sound barely left her throat. She was falling, racing towards the ground beneath her, faster and faster. Strands of her hair blew around in the wind and in front of her eyes. Instinctively she held her out her hands, trying to slow herself down. The wind rushed past her, drowning every other sound out entirely.
I’m going to die! I’m going to die!
Just as she thought she would either wet herself, pass out or croak, a gloved hand tapped her shoulder and, seconds later, they slowed down. Hayley whipped her head around from side to side and saw strings. Her gaze followed them upwards to a bright red-and-blue striped parachute billowing above her head.
‘I thought I’d lost you for a minute there,’ a voice shouted from behind her. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Am I okay? Am I okay?’ Hayley shouted, waving her arms around, barely registering that they were covered in what looked like a blue boiler suit. ‘What the … where the … gaaaaah!’
‘Relax, take it easy. The first jump is always the scariest but enjoy the ride and remember to lift up your legs when we land. Look around you, it’s a beautiful day.’
Hayley breathed heavily as her stomach twisted itself into knots. As she touched her face she felt goggles in front of her eyes. She exhaled slowly, letting the air escape through her puffed out cheeks. However hard she tried, it was impossible for her to see the person behind her – she’d have to morph into an owl to turn her head that far. But one thing was certain. It wasn’t Matthew. It was a woman.
Hayley looked around at the fields that stretched for miles and miles. Peering between her feet, she spotted two white buildings with six small planes in front of them, and realised where they were headed. As the ground approached, Hayley squealed and closed her eyes.
‘Lift up your legs,’ the woman shouted.
They landed seconds later and the woman behind her undid the harness attaching them together. Grateful to be free and back on the ground, Hayley rolled onto her stomach, arms and legs outstretched like an upside-down snow angel, her goggles askew on her face. She buried her nose in the damp grass, breathing in the scent of freshly cut blades, almost giggling as they tickled her nose.
‘You did it, you actually did it!’
The familiar male voice registered somewhere in Hayley’s mushy brain.
‘Woohoo, what a ride,’ he said. ‘What did you think? Did you like it? I told you Neha’s a great instructor. The best.’
Hayley rolled onto her back, held her hand up to block out the sun and stared up at the man bending over her, grinning madly. He pulled off his hat and goggles.
Matthew!
A woman with deep brown eyes and pixie-cropped black hair knelt beside her. ‘I think you passed out for a few seconds after we jumped. Are you feeling alright?’
Hayley gulped. ‘I … I think so. Where am I? What day is it?’
Matthew frowned. ‘Ipsden. Saturday. Here, let me help you up. We’ll get you some water or maybe a coffee at the hangar.’
As Matthew helped her get to her feet, panic exploding in Hayley’s mind like a box of Catherine wheels on New Year’s Eve. She realised she couldn’t make a run for it even if she wanted to – the hangar was in the middle of nowhere. Besides, sticking with Ian yesterday, at least for the first little while, had been beneficial. She’d moved on, got away from him. That meant she was one step closer to getting home. Didn’t it?
There’s no sense sprinting off like Road Runner.
Hayley took a deep breath, realising she was actually curious to find out more. The parachute jump had scared the shit out of her but, in reality, she hadn’t had a rush of adrenaline like that since … since … She gave up and then leaned on Matthew as they walked to the hanger. He helped her out of her gear and sat her down at a large table, then disappeared into a room. Hayley looked around and noticed the big, black and white clock hanging on the wall. It showed a few minutes after nine.
He said it’s Saturday. Dear god, it’s like Groundhog Day meets Sliding Doors!
Matthew came back carrying two steaming coffees and Hayley’s eyes followed his every move. His hair had become quite grey at the temples and his loose T-shirt indicated a trim midriff. His arms were thick and deliciously toned, and his back still looked as broad. Hayley had often thought his upper body resembled a sexy upside-down piece of Toblerone, minus the nougat bits. She swallowed hard.
‘Here,’ he said, handing her a mug. It had a picture of a skydiver and ‘If at first you don’t succeed – skydiving’s not for you’ written underneath. ‘Better? Still confused?’
She thought for a second. ‘No. Not as confused anyway.’
He smiled. ‘Put your feet up and we’ll leave when you’re ready. We’ll be home by lunchtime.’ He leaned over and nuzzled her neck, his coffee-breath warming her. ‘I’m so glad I finally convinced you to jump. It only took me seven years!’
Hayley’s voice went AWOL and without thinking she closed her eyes and leaned in towards Matthew, giving him full access to her neck.
‘Wotcha!’
Hayley jumped and opened her eyes. ‘Mark!’ She leapt up and gave him a hug.
He hoisted a backpack over his shoulders when she let go. Behind him the hangar was slowly filling up with other people kitted out in jumpsuits, looking at Neha with worried smiles. Neha gave Hayley the thumbs up with an inquisitive look. Hayley returned the gesture and nodded.
‘That was fantastic!’ Mark said, nudging Hayley’s shoulder. ‘Eh? What a day to jump.’ He flopped down on the chair next to them and Hayley sat too. ‘You ready to go?’ Mark asked.
‘Sure.’ Matthew got up and patted Hayley’s knee. ‘I’ll fetch our stuff,’
‘It’s good to see you,’ Hayley said to Mark.
Mark laughed. ‘See? I said you wouldn’t die.’
She grinned. ‘Is Ellen here too?’
Mark frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Couldn’t you get a babysitter?’
‘What?’
Shit. They don’t have Morgan?
‘Oh. Or someone to look after the dog?’
‘Eh? When did Ellen get a dog?’
Hayley stopped talking.
‘Everything okay?’ Mark asked, leaning forward. ‘You alright?’
‘I thought I was.’ Scratching her forehead she added, almost under her breath, ‘I am married to Matthew, right?’
Mark raised his eyebrows. ‘Eh? Well as good as.’
Before she could ask him what he meant, Matthew reappeared carrying a holdall bag. ‘Ready guys? Meet you out front?’
‘Just a sec,’ Mark said.
He walked over to Neha and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him. Hayley’s mouth dropped open as she watched them kiss. Mark tucked a stray strand of hair behind Neha’s ear. A small and insignificant gesture, but undeniably intimate. Mark said something to Neha, who put her head back and laughed. They kissed again before Mark walked back to Matthew and Hayley.
‘See you later, love,’ Matthew called over to Neha.
She blew him a kiss and waved to them. ‘Bye guys. Thanks for letting me jump with you, Hayley.’
‘Wh-what the hell was that?’ Hayley stuttered at Mark as they left the hangar.
‘What?’
‘You and … and … that girl?’
‘What’s up with you? It’s been three years.’
‘But … but … what about Ellen?’ Hayley said, her voice shriller than she wanted it to be.
Mark shrugged. ‘What about her?’
‘Is she okay?’
‘Dunno. Don’t care. Ask her when you see her next.’ He pulled his backpack up and strode ahead of her, clearly indicating the end of the conversation.
Out in the car park, Matthew opened the door on a blue Toyota.
‘I’ll sit in the back,’ Hayley offered as she climbed into the seat. ‘That way you boys can talk.’
She didn’t learn much on the way home. Mark and Matthew gassed about the footie and upcoming matches, work and skydiving – but nothing overly personal. Hayley stared out of the window and watched the scenery go by. They’d got onto the M40, driven past High Wycombe and made it all the way to Uxbridge before she made a sound.
‘Where are we going?’ she said.
‘I’ll get petrol and we’ll drop Mark off at Boston Manor, right mate?’
‘Yep, that’s fine.’
Boston Manor? The tube station close to where Matthew lived?
Long forgotten images of the place burst into her mind. He’d had an open-concept apartment with a distinct but not unpleasant industrial feel with its floor-to-ceiling windows and exposed brickwork. Over dinner one night Matthew had said, ‘When my grandma died she left me a bit of money so I bought the apartment. It needed tons of work so it was cheap. I planned on selling it once it was finished but I love it, even if it’s a bit flashy for a maths teacher.’
They pulled into a BP station and Matthew got out to fill up the car.
Hayley cleared her throat. ‘Mark, about you and Ellen –’
‘Please don’t,’ Mark said. ‘I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Everything’s been said already.’
‘But Mark, I –’
‘I said leave it.’
They fell silent until Matthew got back in the car and, after dropping Mark off at the tube station, Matthew drove back to his apartment. As they walked up the stairs to the flat, Matthew held her hand and she couldn’t help noticing the softness of his skin. She shooed the memories of him on top of her out of her mind.
He unlocked the door and opened it for her, then followed and put the holdall down. When he took off his shirt Hayley gulped as she assessed his flat stomach. She wanted to reach out and touch the hair that formed a thin line down his chest and disappeared into his jeans.
It’s just a glimpse … Would it count if we …? None of this is real … No, stop it!
‘I’m going to have a quick shower,’ he said, looking at Hayley as he pulled off his jeans and boxer shorts. ‘Why have you gone all red?’ He laughed. ‘Nothing here you haven’t seen before.’ He walked to the bathroom leaving Hayley to stare at his perfectly round, chocolate derrière.
She tried to snap out of fantasyland by looking around for a phone. Once located, she grabbed it and punched in Ellen’s mobile.
‘Hey,’ Ellen answered lazily. ‘How was your jump?’
‘Surprising,’ said Hayley. ‘Where are you?’
‘I’m taking Mum to her watercolour class. So, was she there?’
‘Who?’
‘Neha, dummy. Was she there?’
‘Yes.’
‘Those two still loved up then? No, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know but –’
‘Ellen,’ Hayley said. ‘What on earth happened to you two?’