TWELVE
Sunshine and rainbows.
I don’t check my email again until I get back to school. When I do, I have an email waiting for me from Lonerguy279. I have a lot to catch him up on.
From: Lonerguy279
To: Pinkstar737
Subject: Sending a virtual hug.
Dear Pinkstar737,
I don’t have to see a picture to know you’re cute. Beauty doesn’t always come from the outside. It’s from the inside. And you, my friend, are gorgeous inside. That is why I spend so much time writing you. That is why I now listen to K-Pop music. That is why, every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is check my email, hoping that you’ve emailed me.
It’s awesome that you had coffee with Scott. Do you think maybe he regrets all the bad things he’s done to you?
Cam… I’m pretty sure he likes you as more than a friend… You know how I know? Because I know that NO GUY would go meet a girl’s family if he didn’t like her as more than a friend. Maybe “super sexy” Cam thinks you’re “super sexy” too.
I told you college would be good. Dr. Sanchez can’t be all that bad. Without her, we wouldn’t be talking right now. So, I like her on that thought alone.
So… “super sexy” Cam came to your door. I need details.
Sincerely,
Lonerguy279
I hit reply.
From: Pinkstar737
To: Lonerguy279
Subject: I think you’re crazy.
Dear Lonerguy279,
You’re telling me that I am the ONLY reason you listen to K-Pop? How can you say that? Korean pop music is the best. It’s like entering into a land of sunshine and rainbows. Seriously.
I had fun with Scott this weekend. Like, a lot of fun. And guess what? HE’S COMING TO UGA! (Did I tell you I’m attending University of Georgia? Because I am). Anyway, he’s transferring. His dad worked it all out, and he’s moving here. I’m so excited. Things feel like they used to, and I like being around Scott now. I missed him.
As far as your theory about Cam, I think you’re wrong. He’s never acted or even hinted at the fact that he wants to be more than friends. Plus, we haven’t known each other that long.
Do me a favor and NEVER tell Dr. Sanchez this, but I think the chick is growing on me. I actually don’t dread therapy this morning.
Nothing happened. Literally seconds after Cam came to my door, Scott came. Nothing would’ve happened with Cam anyway. He hangs out in my dorm all the time. If he wanted to make a move, he would. Which he DOESN’T. So that is the end of THAT conversation. :P
Sincerely,
Pinkstar737
…
Zoe decides that she wants to straighten my hair on Monday afternoon, just to “see what it will look like.” But she is smiling the entire time she is doing it, so who am I to say no? I just give in because it’s best to just give in to her.
“How did your stepbrother just transfer here during the middle of the semester?” Zoe asks.
“My stepdad is Stanley Jacobson. He’s… kind of well off, I guess. And whatever he wants, he gets,” I say. “He thinks money can buy everything. I suppose it can buy everything that he wants.”
“So you’re rich?”
“No. My stepfather is. I just happen to have a credit card that is billed to him.”
She grins. “Did I ever tell you how good you look in the color purple?”
“Purple?”
Holding the straightener, she walks directly in front of me. “Me. You. Shopping. It needs to be a thing. Cause, girl, you need a makeover.”
“I don’t know,” I say.
“Please, please, please, please, please, please…” She pouts out her lower lip.
I know Zoe.
She will bug me about it until I say yes.
“Fine,” I say.
She jumps up and down. “Yes!”
I can already tell that saying yes was a mistake. I’m in for a long day of shopping.
She goes back to fixing my hair when my phone goes off. It’s a text from Cam.
Cam: Want tacos for dinner? My treat.
Zoe, who is reading the text over my shoulder, squeals. “Oh, my gosh. You have a date.”
“I do not,” I say.
“A guy doesn’t pay for a girl he wants to just be his friend,” she says.
I want to object and say that it’s not true, but I don’t exactly have a lot of experience in the dating area. I just ignore her and turn back to my phone.
Me: Sure. Give me, like, thirty minutes. Zoe is straightening my hair. THE TORTURE IS REAL.
Zoe smacks my arm. “Shut up. You like it and you know it.”
I stick my tongue out at her as somebody knocks on the door.
“Come in,” she yells.
Camden walks in. I should’ve known he was basically at my door when he texted me because that’s always the case.
“You’re not supposed to see the girl until after she’s ready,” Zoe says to him as she continues to straighten my hair.
Cam walks over to where I’m sitting and picks up a strand of my hair that has been straightened. Having him this close to me is a little unnerving. He drops the piece and looks at Zoe.
“What are you doing to her hair?” he asks.
“Straightening it,” she answers proudly.
“I know that. But why are you doing it?”
“Because Isla never does anything with her hair. I’m just trying to show her that she can occasionally spend more than five minutes getting ready,” Zoe says, like it should be obvious.
“Do you not like it?” I ask.
He looks at me for a minute. Half of my hair is like it always is and the other half is straight. I’m sure I look funny to him.
“I like it,” he says after a long hesitation. “I like it the other way too, though. You don’t need to spend more than five minutes getting ready, because you’re already beautiful.”
“Aw,” Zoe says. “Now go sit down before you talk Isla out of the makeover I just talked her into.”
“Makeover?” he asks.
“Not makeover,” I answer. “New clothes. And you can style my hair. But that is it.”
“Fine, whatever,” she says.
“Girls are weird,” Cam says, then sits down on my bed.
“I know, right,” I say, completely agreeing with him. “Zoe gets up at least an hour before I do just so she can fix her hair. The girl is legit crazy.”
“What’s wrong with your hair right now?” Cam asks Zoe.
She’s currently got it up in a bun. She calls it a “messy” bun. It takes her five minutes to fix it. She puts it up and pulls at it and pins it. Way too complicated for me personally, but it does look good on her.
“I overslept this morning,” she says. “It won’t happen again.”
“I like it,” I tell her. “You look cute.”
There is another knock on the door. Cam jumps up and opens it.
“Yeah, just make yourself at home,” Zoe says to him, sarcastically.
Scott walks through the open door. He stops when he sees me getting my hair fixed.
“Wow. This is a monumental moment,” Scott says. “Isla actually fixing her hair. Or getting it fixed by somebody else, whatever. I haven’t seen this since you were sixteen. Those were the good ole’ days, back when you were cute.”
Apparently it’s pick on Isla day.
“Cruel, Scott Jacobson,” I say.
Cam shuts the door and sits back down on my bed. Scott sits on the futon.
“Isla used to be cute?” Zoe asks him.
“Yep,” Scott answers. “She was a cheerleader, you know. She was pretty much the envy of our high school. Though I think a lot of envy was because she had me as a stepbrother. I mean, who wouldn’t be jealous?”
I laugh.
Because, seriously.
“Could you be any more arrogant?” I ask.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Scott says. “Anyway, what are you up to tonight? Besides fixing your hair.”
“Cam and Isla are going on a date,” Zoe says.
My face warms. “It’s not a date. We’re just…”
“Friends,” Cam finished for me.
“Why does everybody think we’re dating?” I ask.
“Maybe you two are dating and you just don’t know it yet,” Zoe says.
“Exactly,” Scott says. “Everybody knows you’re meant to be. You just need to figure it out for yourselves.”
“I hate that saying,” Camden says. “Meant to be. Fate. You aren’t always destined to be what people say you are.”
Wait.
Does that mean Cam doesn’t like me as more than a friend?
Of course he doesn’t.
Look at him.
He’s tall. Over six feet. He’s got gorgeous dark hair and eyes the color of the sky on a cloudless summer day. If you look up hot guy on Google, you’d find him. He’s perfect in every single way.
And look at me.
Everything about me is average. I have dirty blonde hair that I don’t fix. I own two pairs of shoes, and both of them are well worn. Even though I buy new clothes, I mostly just wear the same thing over and over again.
But most importantly, I’m damaged.
Screwed up.
I don’t blame Cam for not wanting to date me. I wouldn’t want to date me if I were him.
“Cam’s right,” I say. “Why would he want to date somebody as screwed up as I am? I’m lucky he’s even wants to be my friend.”
“Is that what you think?” Scott asks. “About yourself? Because you’re not defined by what happened to you. A sick person targeted you. You’re not screwed up. You’re strong. Look at how far you’ve come in the last year and a half. I look up to you.”
“What happened?” Zoe asks.
“It’s not important,” I say.
Cam, who has remained quiet the whole time, looks up. “Isla, I don’t think you’re screwed up. To be honest, I feel like I’m the lucky one because I get to be your friend. Since I met you, you have changed me. I feel like I’m a better person now. To be honest, when you’re ready to date somebody, you deserve somebody a lot better than me.” He stands up from the bed. “I need to go. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow night instead.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond, he just runs out the door.
“Does that mean you can hang out with me now?” Scott asks.
I roll my eyes at Scott. “Should I go after him?”
“Just let him have some space,” Zoe says. “He’s obviously dealing with something. When he’s ready to tell you, he will.”
I nod, but I’m not sure what to do.
Having friends is complicated.