Chapter 23

The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months rather quickly. Six months came and went at rapid speed. I enjoyed every fucking second of it; I’m not going to lie and say taking over didn’t come with some confusion or hit and misses, I experienced it all. My mother left that night and I had barely heard from her since, last we talked she was taking a sabbatical through Europe.

Trust me, I didn’t for one second think or imagine my mother would hold my hand through the process of me taking over. It was sink or swim with her, it always had been. The most time consuming part that I never got to witness was how much paperwork and organizational skills I had to have to make sure that I crossed all my Ts and dotted my Is. I learned quickly that my mother ran a very successful business, but I will toot my own goddamn horn and say that I found mistakes and corrected them immediately.

For one, I made sure that everyone loved me, and by everyone, I mean all the people I paid off with pussy and money to keep their mouths shut; especially the Chief of Police, Governor, and the DEA. They were my new best friends. I also made all old and new clients sign release forms; not just with a black pen, but also with blood. If I went down, they were coming with me, and they knew it when they signed on the dotted line. It was a win/win for everyone involved.

I hired some new girls and got rid of some others. I made it perfectly clear that there was no bullshitting around. One thing I never received from my mother was affection, I knew she loved me, but there wasn’t a time I could think of that I received an embrace just because. I wasn’t very good at expressing myself because of it and it made me want to be different. I wanted to show the VIPs that I would be there for them, in any way, shape, or form. It was important to me for them to see me as their Madam, but it had to have a much further in depth definition than what my mother implied.

It had to be all or nothing.

They needed to trust me, love me, and die for me. Just like any family member would do for you. I made sure that I established a different kind of relationship than my mother had with them. It wasn’t all about money and they needed to be certain of that. It came down to respect, admiration, and loyalty. It required me to be their one and only. I learned from my mother’s mistakes like most children do. Although my upbringing was much different than the norm, I still learned to take the bad with the good.

My mother wasn’t a bad woman by any means, there are far worse out there. She did things in the way she thought she should. I never met my grandmother or grandfather; now that I think about it, I never met anyone in my family outside of my parents. I never asked about them and they were never discussed with me. I’m not quite sure if it was hush-hush for a reason, but I never looked into it. The day I took over was the day that I realized that I had a family, I had a responsibility to my girls. They were mine to look after and to love and cherish.

That is one thing that I changed immediately. My heart opened in an unexpected way. It came the minute I sat in the office chair, and I glorified in the supremacy that I held. It wasn’t just about my life anymore. I had VIPs that I needed to look after. It was beyond any commitment I had ever willingly placed myself in. It scared me as much as it intrigued me; like I have said throughout this entire story, I don’t do love. I don’t know how to handle it, but it changed the day I took over. I love VIP. It was the first time that I ever felt something for someone else. It wasn’t just about me anymore; it was about everything and anything it encompassed.

My life had always been about VIP.

It was my one true love.

VIP was my beginning, my middle, and my end.

I showed, taught, and explained to all the VIPs how things were going to proceed and they all accepted it with open arms. These women weren’t lost children who needed or wanted a mother. They weren’t broken. It wasn’t about me fixing them. It was a mutual two way street where we each got to drive a car. It was a partnership; 50/50. They made decisions as much as I did. From my experiences, people will do something ten times more when they are told they can’t, it’s human nature. You want what you can’t have.

Well…I allowed them to have it all. The human mind is a beautiful thing if appreciated; you give them a taste, they will always come back for more. You give them an inch and they will take a mile. I wanted them to have that mentality, it made them better and I wanted the best. Only the strong survive and that was VIP. The elite. I choose you, and if I did, there was a motherfucking reason for it.

Now…don’t get confused and interpret my honesty for weakness. I was still very much a hardcore bitch; you don’t run an empire by being nice. I still needed to instill fear and curiosity; it was a necessity to understand that I was always going to be a wildcard. You bark at me and I bite back. I was a double-edged sword and you didn’t fuck with me. They knew not to mistake my kindness for weakness; I didn’t have to explain it. It was an entitlement for me. I was one lucky bitch to get the cards that I was dealt and I wasn’t stupid enough to take that for granted.

From the second I was born I was handed a silver spoon and I made sure that my VIPs felt precisely the same way. They were treasured jewels. The clients were aware of this as much as the girls were; becoming a client of VIP was like trying to join the CIA. There were certain characteristics and charisma you needed to carry in order to have one of my girls. I made sure that they were wined and dined before any sexual act were to occur. It was essential that VIP stood for something other than Very Important Pussy. The principle behind it was indispensible.

<>-<>-<>-<>

My father still stayed in and out of my life, but like I said before, I always made time for him when he wanted to see me. I sat in my office waiting for him to arrive one afternoon. The door opened and I didn’t have to look up to know that he was disappointed. The atmosphere of the room dropped significantly from light to dark; he was coming in to battle. I should have expected it.

He walked over to me and sat on the chair and I didn’t bother to look up.

“Tell me it’s not true,” he pleaded. It was the first time I had heard desperation in my father’s voice. I braced myself before I looked up, and when I finally did his eyes were glossy. We stayed silent, just staring at each other for a few seconds; I didn’t have to answer for him to know the truth. He knew it the minute he walked into the office, maybe even before that.

“Lilith,” he tested.

I cocked my head to the side and corrected him, “Madam.” His head fell down in shame.

“What do you want from me? What did you expect? I’m not here to point fingers or anything, but fathers who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

“I didn’t want this for you,” he said barely above a whisper.

“We don’t always get what we want, now do we? I don’t know why you’re so concerned; it never stopped you before. Don’t cause yourself more grey hair, I am sitting pretty,” I reminded.

“I hate this. You have no idea what life awaits you. You’re already changing. I noticed it the minute I walked into the room. VIP will consume you. You will never have a real life. It will eat you up and spit you right back out.”

“Who the hell do you think you are? You have no right to come in here and judge me for my choices and decisions, not one goddamn right…you need to remember that you may be my father by blood, but that’s all we share. There is no father-daughter bonding between us. I see you because I choose to, not because I have to. If you’d like me to change that, then I gladly will. But don’t come in here and pretend we are anything more than blood,” I scorned.

He looked up and there were tears falling from his eyes. “I failed you.”

I laughed. “You failed me from the day I was born. Let’s not pretend to play house, it’s not a good look for you,” I tormented.

“I can’t see you like this. I won’t. I watched VIP destroy your mother, I can’t go through that again.”

I shook my head and sighed. “The door is right behind you; don’t let it hit you on the way out.”

“I love you, Lilith. I never thought it would come to this. I never imagined that you would actually take over. I thought you would find love, a nice man to give you a family. Something, anything other than this,” he suggested.

“You have no idea who I am, you never have. I was made to do this! It’s my fucking destiny. I will never be like my mother; I will be so much better. VIP is my legacy. If you can’t stand to watch me succeed then you need to get the fuck out. I have never needed you in my life. I didn’t ask you for anything, ever! If you want to pretend like we are more than what we are to each other and you want to win the father of the year award, then you need to call your other children for that. This one has no idea who you are other than someone who comes around when it’s convenient for him.” I took a deep breath and stood up to walk around the desk.

“I don’t need you in my life. If you want to continue to see me then I will make time for you, like I always have. You want to leave and never come back, then that’s your choice. Decisions are a very personal thing. You made your bed, now it’s time to lie in it,” I spewed.

“You want to know what the most frightening thing is, it’s change. Even though it happens every single fucking day, it still scares the shit out of us. That’s the difference between you and I. I look for change in my life, I am not scared of anything and I didn’t inherit that from you, Daddy. Call my mother whatever you want, but at the end of the day, I am The Madam,” I reminded.

He looked up at me. “I won’t be around for this. If you continue, I won’t see you again.”

“Is that supposed to stop me?” I laughed. “You haven’t been around my entire life; your threats don’t mean shit to me. Do you understand? You gave me life and that’s as far as it goes,” I stated.

The worst part of this whole conversation is that I didn’t mean one fucking word I was saying. As much as my father hadn’t been in my life, I still wanted the bits and pieces that I did have. He was the only family I had.

But…I don’t do ultimatums for anyone. I don’t care who you are.

He stood up, walked over to me, and pulled me into a hug.

“I can’t do it again. It’s like I am staring into the face of your mother. I have always been a selfish man and I never did right by you. I am fully aware of that, but I just can’t do it. You will always be the best thing I created. I have no one to blame but myself for the outcome of your life. I cannot stand around and watch it go down…I just can’t. My only hope is that one day you will understand and you will forgive me, Lilith,” he whispered in my ear.

I awkwardly wrapped my arms around him and he squeezed me harder. I could feel the tears coming down his face. We broke away from each other and he kissed my forehead, both cheeks, and the tip of my nose before he turned and walked out of my life.

I sat back in my office chair and overlooked my empire.

I had the world at my disposal. Absolutely anything I ever wanted I could have. Except love…

I was alone.

I shed one lonely tear and swore to myself that I would never cry for another man again.