I shut the door to the guest room gently, and immediately leaned back against it, taking a deep breath. I smiled at Mason.

“We fucking did it,” I said. I was still substantially drunk, and now that I was in the room alone with Mason, it was all too obvious.

“This isn’t going to work,” Mason said, shaking his head and pacing around the room. “God, I was so dumb to think this could work.”

“Whoa, what?” I said. “We killed it. They were saying how perfect we were for each other, all those cute little moments we shared….”

He shook his head. “No. I don’t care about what happened tonight. I mean, I do, and I cannot believe my sister showed you photos of me as a kid, but… sleeping in here. Both of us. It isn’t going to work.”

“Oh,” I said, blinking at him. “You mean… you want me to sleep on the ground? I’m sorry, Mason. I’m so used to crashing at parties with all my friends, I didn’t think it would be a big deal. If you’re not comfortable, I’ll take the floor.”

He sat on the edge of the bed, cradling his head in his hands. “No, no,” he said. “I just… I…” He looked up at me with a slightly worried expression.

“What is it?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

I sat down next to him, making sure to keep some space between us. “You can tell me anything.”

He sighed, lying back on the bed and covering his face. “I have… bedtime rituals.”

A smile began to creep over my face, and I prayed he’d keep his eyes closed and not see me smiling. “Nothing wrong with that,” I said. “What do these bedtime rituals entail?”

He peeked up at me through his fingers. “Well… I brought my lavender essence spray with me from home,” he said.

“Just some lavender spray? You think I wouldn’t like that? I’d love it,” I said. “Spray away, Mason. Spray the whole room down. Hell, spray me, if you want.”

“It’s not just the spray,” he said, sitting up and watching me. It was like telling me one thing had opened floodgates, and now he looked at me intently. “I have to use my forest rain sounds. I have to drink my tea. I have to do my sleep stretches… how am I going to do my sleep stretches with you in the bed? I mean, sure, your warmth might be nice, but that’s not part of the routine.”

“Not only can you do your entire routine,” I said, “but I’ll tell you what. Do the whole thing, and then I’ll help you get to sleep.”

“You have no idea how hard it is for me to fall asleep.”

“I seem to recall you sleeping very easily when I massaged you,” I said.

He cocked his head to one side. “You make a good point,” he said. “And… now you know just how crazy I am.”

“Calm down,” I said softly. “I’m not going to judge you for anything you do. I mean it. In fact, it’s kind of adorable.”

“Oh, please,” he said.

“Just as adorable as you were as a baby,” I said, pushing him playfully on the shoulder.

“Oh, shut up,” he said. But finally, an inkling of a smile was appearing on his lips. “Fine, I guess you can share the bed with me. I mean, it’s a king-size bed. I don’t have… problems with that. So long as you don’t have problems with the forest sounds I play.”

“I would love some forest rain sounds. And my back thanks you already for not having me sleep on the floor.”

“I wouldn’t make you do that,” Mason said softly, looking up at me from under his dark lashes.

He was startlingly attractive. The extra alcohol in my system didn’t help, but I knew that I felt the same way when I was sober. It was likely more the effect of being in his family home, finally alone with him in this stupidly cozy bedroom, that was making me all fuzzy around the edges.

“C’mere, boyfriend,” I said, putting my arm around his shoulder and pulling him in close against my chest. He finally let himself relax against me, and I just held him there for a moment, enjoying the closeness. “I love your family, Mason,” I said, my tone serious now.

“I love them, too,” he said. “And Christ, it seems like they sure like having you around. I’ve never seen them so happy. They aren’t when it’s just me alone.”

“They’re happy for you. You’re so lucky to have a family like yours. I tried to bring a boyfriend home once, and my parents disowned me.”

Mason leaned back, looking up at me. I missed the feeling of having him in my arms, but I knew better than to pull him back toward me. “I’m so sorry, Kade,” he said.

“I am too. Seeing the way your family is so happy to see you with a boyfriend… it’s like seeing into another world. They accept you for who you are, and they’re proud. I wish I had known parents like yours existed back when I was a rebellious teenager.”

“You were even more rebellious than you are now?” he said with a small smile.

“I was kinda bad,” I said. “You wouldn’t have liked me at all back then.”

“Who says I like you now?”

I laughed. “There is a sassy person underneath that nerdy exterior, after all,” I said. “Go ahead and roast me, Mason, I kind of love it.”

“I’m just trying to hide the fact that I probably would have fantasized about you when we were both teenagers, but I’d be so scared to talk to you it would never happen.”

I shook my head. “I’m glad I met you when I did.”

“I never thought I would say this, but… I’m glad I met you too,” he said.

“Never thought you’d say it?” I said, giving him a shove. “What, you expected to hate me?”

“No, no,” he said. “Well, maybe a little. Not hate so much as… be intimidated by you. God, I couldn’t believe the photos you have on your site.”

“Hey, I look hot in them,” I said.

“I suppose I can’t argue with that,” he said quietly. “I just can’t believe you’re here with me now. In my parents’ house, for God’s sake.”

“Well, it feels right to me. As crazy as that might sound,” I said.

He nodded. “Me too,” he said.

I reached over, squeezing his hand in mine. “Want to go make your tea, come back, and I’ll give you that massage? All the forest sounds and lavender spray you desire?”

“That sounds too good to be true.”

“Well, you better start believin’,” I said. “Because I’m not getting any less tired, and I’m about twice as good at massages when I’m actually awake.”

“Shocking!” Mason said, standing up.

“Hey, make me a tea, too,” I said. “I want to see what all the fuss is about. Why you have to have this specific tea every night.”

“Oh, you’ll be a convert immediately. It’s called Sleepy Seduction, and you’ll never have a better sleep.”

He was out of the room in a flash, heading back down to prepare the hot water. I lay back on the bed, taking the first moment to myself I’d had all day.

I’d always enjoyed acting, and this day had started off feeling like the most important role I’d ever played. But as the day wore on, I started to sink into it more and more, like a method actor, and soon I just… felt like I was Mason’s boyfriend.

It was hard to shake, even now in the room. I wasn’t sure if the guest room always looked this nice or if his mom had made it especially comforting just for us, but there were unlit candles on every surface, plenty of pillows on the bed, fresh towels neatly folded on the dresser.

I stood up, catching my reflection in the large mirror at the side of the room, and had to do a double take. It was like seeing someone you knew, but in a place you didn’t expect to see them. It was me, for sure, but since when did I ever hang out in houses like these? Nice family homes, with amazing, kind families inside.

I felt like I didn’t deserve it.

But if all my years of confidence coaching had taught me anything, it was that nobody else had to know I felt that way. No one needed to know that every time I saw Mason’s parents laughing with us, I had a pang in my heart. Mason didn’t need to know just how lucky he was to have a family like this. If I played my part, I would seem just as confident and in the right place as usual.

Mason appeared back at the door, two steaming mugs in his hands.

“All right,” he said. “Tea’s still too hot right now. But I’m more than ready for that massage.”

“Perfect,” I said, smiling at him.

“How do you want me?” he said, scanning the room.

I stared at him, waggling my eyebrows. “I’ll take you any which way, Mason,” I said.

“Oh, Jesus,” he said, his cheeks a little pink.

“I’m just messing around with you,” I said, taking a step closer to him. “Boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend,” he said, his voice quieter.

“Take off your shirt, and lie down on the bed. Facedown,” I said. Mason didn’t break my gaze, and I could tell he was surprised by my assertiveness.

“Take my shirt off?”

“Don’t tell me you’re shy about that,” I said.

“You know I’m shy about everything that it’s possible to be shy about,” he said. “I was even worrying whether or not you’d enjoy the flavor of my tea. Or if you’d judge me forever if you didn’t like it.”

I shook my head. “Now’s not the time for modesty. You’re free to leave the shirt on, but the massage will suck.”

He glanced sidelong at the bed.

“If… if it’s because you don’t want me touching your bare skin, I understand,” I said, suddenly remembering that he was not actually my boyfriend. “But if it’s just… shame about your body, you have absolutely nothing to be afraid of.”

“I don’t have any problem with you touching my skin,” he said. “I mean, I usually do, with strangers touching me. But I trust you.”

The twist of tension that had built up in my chest finally settled. “I’m glad to hear,” I said.

I was so used to being the one in charge with the people I hooked up with, but I had to keep reminding myself that Mason was just a client—maybe a friend—and that he was very different from everyone else I’d ever known.

Mason slipped off his shirt and quickly planted himself facedown on the bed.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to put on my sweatpants,” I said. “Gotta be comfortable.”

He hummed in agreement, his face still down against the pillows.

I changed quickly at the corner of the room, knowing that Mason wouldn’t dare look up at me. There was something adorable about how predictable he was. Something comforting, too. I knew exactly what I was going to get with Mason, most of the time.

Sometimes he surprised the hell out of me and sent me flying into the stratosphere, though.

Once I was in my sweats, I hopped onto the bed and gently lowered myself over the top of him, straddling him from above. Of course, I had no clue what he had been shy about—his body was compact and slender, with the slightest hint of muscle showing through.

And when I lowered my hands to his skin, it was like a key finally sliding into the correct lock. His skin was supple and smooth, and he let out a satisfied sigh as soon as I started to massage him.

He turned his head slightly to the side so he could talk. “God, this was a good idea,” he said. “Nobody ever touches me like this. You’re too good, Kade.”

“You’re too good to not be touched,” I said.

He hummed happily. “Whenever I do get a boyfriend, I’m gonna make him do this,” he said.

I pressed a little harder against the muscle of his shoulders, and he moaned again.

“Is that going to be one of your requirements?” I asked. “Must perform massages?”

He laughed a little. “Must give freaking amazing massages. Must enjoy chocolate hazelnut cake. Must get along with my parents.”

“Must enjoy looking at photos of you as a baby.”

“Ugh,” he said. “Must be able to deal with my crazy, neurotic personality.”

I ran my fingertips down his back in a long, fluid motion, and he sighed.

“God, it’s going to be impossible,” he said, his voice quieter. “Nobody is going to be able to deal with me. Not like you, that’s for sure.”

“I think you’d be surprised,” I said.

“I have to… learn. To let things happen in life. I can’t be… so scared. Even of things like massages.”

“It’s good to do things that scare you,” I said, running my thumbs along the space in between his shoulder blades. “But that just scare you enough. Not too much.”

“Sure scared me to bring you home,” he said. “But… no surprise… you’ve been perfect.”

I snorted. “I’m far from perfect,” I said.

“I could argue with that,” Mason said. He was beginning to sound semi-drowsy already or maybe just hypnotized by the touch.

I didn’t know if Mason was trying to flatter me, to slowly kill me, or to give me a boner. It turned out he was doing a little bit of all three. I raised up from where I was straddling, just a little, so that there was space between my cock and his back.

If I scooted back, just a little, my erection would have rested in the cleft of his ass. And then I really would have been in trouble.

It’s not every day you’re on top of a guy who won’t stop telling you how perfect you are, and you can’t just bend down and fuck him, hard and slow. As I kept massaging him, I got more and more riled up, though. Putting a little distance between us had only seemed to encourage my cock.

I kept working, saying nothing for many minutes, just watching the rise and fall of Mason’s back as he breathed, and I ran my fingers along him. My cock didn’t settle down despite my best efforts, but I realized that Mason had fallen asleep soon after.

That was one way to solve the problem, after all. Didn’t matter to him if I was hard as a rock if he was already asleep.

I slowly winded down the massage until I’d taken my hands off him, and then I gently moved until I was lying down on the bed next to him.

I took a deep breath, not realizing that I’d been holding it.

And then I almost jumped out of my skin when Mason turned over, peering up at me.

“Shit,” I said, jumping a little, pulling my feet up so that the tent in my sweatpants wasn’t so obvious. “Sorry, Mason. I really thought you’d fallen asleep.”

He shook his head. “Just super relaxed,” he said. “Can’t fall asleep without the forest sounds, though.”

“Right,” I said.

“It’s still okay with you, right? The sounds?” Mason’s voice sounded thick like syrup, and he’d clearly been put in a dreamy state, even if he hadn’t fallen asleep.

“Of course,” I said. “Tired, though. We should sleep.”

“Okay, okay,” he said. He slowly got out of bed, heading over to rummage in his bag. “I… I gotta change,” he said. “Can I… do it right here?”

I laughed softly, looking the other way. “Absolutely. Promise I won’t peek, Mason.”

I didn’t say what was thrumming through my mind: Promise I won’t peek, even though I’ve literally had your entire cock inside my mouth, and I’ve swallowed your cum, Mason.

I wasn’t sure if he’d like the joke as much as I did. And I was sure that it was probably a terrible idea to bring it up.

A couple minutes later, I felt the bed sink a little as he got in it next to me, and soon after, the distinct sounds of wind and rain and frogs and crickets filled the room.

“That’s a good noisemaker,” I said.

“It’s the best,” he said.

His voice was right behind my head, and I knew if I turned around, he’d be right there on the pillow next to me.

He’d be close enough to kiss. Close enough for me to hold him, to touch his cock again, to feel his warmth.

But I stayed facing the other way. Because no matter how good all those things sounded—how perfect it would have been to have him in my arms, under my lips… Mason wasn’t mine to have. He didn’t want it, and I shouldn’t have wanted it.

All I was here to do was pretend.