“I guess this is where you find out the truth about me,” Kade said as we entered the building.

I blinked, looking around, confused. “Huh?” I asked. I was still firmly located on some other plane of existence, my entire body vibrating into infinity, my brain somewhere between scrambled eggs and a fireworks show. I felt like I was high, adrenaline still racing through my veins like I’d never felt before.

I couldn’t freaking believe what I had just done. All morning, I had psyched myself up to do it and had nearly backed out of it twenty times. But I knew there was no other way to show Kade how much he had helped me. The amazing thing was that I think it had worked. He knew exactly how hard it was for me to sing in front of anyone—much less an entire street of people—but I had just done it.

For him.

So when Kade looked back at me and I saw nervousness in his eyes, I was massively confused.

“My place isn’t great,” he said, leading me up a set of old stairs inside. “I’m just warning you.”

“Kade,” I said, taking a deep breath. “We’re inside now. And after what I just did, it wouldn’t matter if we were in a freaking sewer—it’s better than being out on the street.”

Kade nodded, and I followed him up the rest of the stairs and to a door at the end of a dim hallway.

“Here we are,” he said.

I nodded, just wanting to get inside and have a glass of water. “Hope your neighbor’s rat isn’t too crazy now. I’ll try to stay away.”

“Oh,” Kade said, and for the first time in my life, I saw him blush. “There… there isn’t a rat,” he admitted. “I was… God, Mason, I was so embarrassed to invite you up here that I made it up.”

“What?” I asked, shaking my head in confusion. “You don’t need to worry, Kade.”

He hung his head and then finally unlocked the door to his place. We went inside, and I looked around, expecting some sort of carnage, but all I saw was a fairly normal, old apartment with very few things inside of it.

“I’m gonna grab you a water,” he said, quickly running off toward the kitchen as I waited in the living room. It was a little bit sad, to be sure—there were a few empty liquor bottles on the coffee table, and there was no couch and no TV. But there was nothing that awful about the place. It had its fair share of small windows, it was relatively spacious, and there wasn’t any trash on the floor.

Kade returned soon with a glass of water in his hand and looked around the room in shame. “Jesus, I’m sorry there isn’t a couch to sit on—come to my room, sit on the bed.”

I followed him to his room, which was similarly bare other than his closet and his bed. The bed was very comfortable as I sat down, and the window in his room looked out over the side street, the sunlight coming in.

“I… sold my couch recently,” Kade said, sitting on the bed next to me and looking down. “I needed to pay for my electric bill, and I got a little over two hundred bucks for the thing.”

“Kade, I… I had no idea you were struggling like that,” I said.

He nodded. “Not exactly a fun thing to talk about, especially to a client.”

“Because I’m so clearly not good enough for you,” he said, his eyes meeting mine.

I shook my head. “What?”

He shrugged, gesturing around him. “Look at this place. I have nothing, Mason. I’m a slick, confident guy who has nothing to show for himself. When you saw me out in the world, I could seem like someone important, but… it’s so wrong.”

“I’m not going to judge you based on what you have, Kade,” I said softly.

He laughed once. “It was such a trip, pretending to be your boyfriend at your parents’ house. Everything there is so magically perfect—wonderful people, successful and happy, a nice house without a care in the world… and they believed that I was good enough to be your boyfriend.”

“I know you didn’t like pretending to be my boyfriend,” I said, waving a hand. “You don’t have to explain it to me.”

He shook his head. “Mason, I loved it,” he said.

“You clearly hated it.”

“No,” he said firmly. “I loved it so much that it scared the shit out of me. I loved it so much that I wanted to slip right into it. And not only is that scary enough on its own—getting attached to someone—but I also instantly knew that I wasn’t good enough for you. Even when I wanted you, I knew you deserved better. So… I was cold to you. And from the bottom of my heart, Mason, I am sorry for that.”

“You don’t have to be sorry…” I said quietly.

“I do, though,” he said. “You deserve someone who has everything. Who can give you the world, take you places, not live in a filthy apartment and barely be able to pay rent.”

“Who says I want all those things? I mean, for God’s sake, who says I need them? I make my own money. If I want to travel, I can do it. If I want nice things, I can get them. I don’t need someone to provide me with that.”

“It’s not just about the money, though,” he said. “It’s the lifestyle. I’m… I’m no better than a deadbeat, Mason. I’m not enough.”

I grew frustrated at that moment, unsure of what I could do to show Kade how wrong he was. “Kade, I’d do anything for you. Don’t you understand? Here—” I said, standing up and walking over to the dusty side table. I put my glass of water down, and then I swiped my finger through a layer of dust, holding it up. “I touched dust. You know I hate dust. And Kade, I’ll lick my finger for you. I’ll do it right now.”

Kade launched up toward me, grabbing my hand and laughing. “Don’t lick dust, Mason. That is ridiculously gross.”

I nodded. “Yes. And yet I’d do it for you. I’d sing karaoke on a street full of people for you. Want me to go drink from a carton of milk before checking the expiration date? I’ll do it.”

“Mason, Mason,” Kade said, squeezing me close. “Okay. I understand.”

“Okay,” I squeaked out, “so can I go wash my hands?”

He smiled at me, shaking his head. “Please, please do.”

In a minute, I returned, with clean hands and even more determination. Kade was standing in front of me, watching me closely, like he was amazed I was even still here.

“Tell me one thing,” I said softly, approaching him.

He was wary, like he was afraid of what I was going to ask. But he finally nodded, signaling me to go on.

“...Did you mean it?” I asked, letting my question hang in the air. “When we were together. All the stuff we said… in bed, when we were so close. Did you mean it? Or was it all pretend?”

My heart pounded in my chest, awaiting his answer. I knew that I might be about to fall flat on my face, that this might be the moment I remembered forever as the worst rejection of all time. Of how stupid I was to ever think that it could have been real, that Kade would ever say those things to me.

“I don’t know how to do this, Mason, I don’t—I can’t—” he whispered, his voice almost inaudible.

But I just shook my head, standing firm. “Did you mean it?” I repeated, not breaking my gaze.

Kade’s eyes fluttered shut. I thought for sure that he was thinking of how to let me down easy, how to tell me that he didn’t want me like I wanted him. But I needed to hear him say it. I needed closure.

“Yes,” he whispered, his eyes still closed. He started shaking his head, and I saw a single tear slide down his cheek before he reached up and roughly wiped it away with his palm. “Yes, yes, fucking yes, of course I meant it. I meant every word, and I wanted to say more, and even”—his voice broke, and he opened his eyes—“even when I told you I loved you, I meant every word.”

There was more emotion in his eyes than I’d ever seen, and I knew that this was the real Kade. That yes, he was the confident man I’d known, and yes, he could be suave and slick and charismatic… but this was as raw as it got, and he was showing me what he had never shown anyone before.

“You knew it was true, didn’t you?” he said, watching me. “You knew.”

I swallowed hard, feeling a tear roll down my cheek, too. “Of course I did,” I said, smiling, even though I was crying. “You’re crazy, Kade, and I love you, too.”

I closed the distance between us, and I hugged him harder than I’d ever hugged anyone, needing to be closer to him than I ever had been before. He let out a huge breath of relief, and he hugged me back, squeezing me, lacing one hand through my hair.

“I love you,” he repeated, pulling back and kissing me, sweet and slow, like he had to show me it was true. “And God, fuck, Mason, you’re the crazy one,” he said, punctuating his words with many small kisses. “You sang karaoke on the street. Jesus Christ, I love you.”

I laughed, feeling a tension miles deep inside me start to unwind, a release like I’d never felt before.

I truly felt free.

We held each other there for a long time, and even when I tried to pull back, Kade pulled me in again. I laughed against his chest, holding him close.

“I hated being without you, even for a few days,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

“I hated it, too. Even when I was picking out a song to sing, I wished you were there so you could help with the selection process.”

“The song was amazing,” he said. “You’re amazing. I don’t deserve you even for a second.”

“Oh, hush. I know you don’t know how to be a boyfriend, Kade,” I said, stroking the back of his neck. “But let me tell you about a little phrase that goes… fake it till you make it.”

He laughed. “Touché. I guess we already faked it enough for one lifetime.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to anymore. I just want you to be mine.”

He looked down at me, his expression growing a little more serious. “You amaze me, Mason Hartley,” he said, “and I want nothing more than to be yours.”