Carsen

As Patrick and I move my desk into the spare room of his house, I can’t help but admire the toned muscles of his biceps as they flex and contract with the weight of it. He’s so damn tall and handsome. His dark hair has white flecks scattered around his temples and in the scruff of his five o’clock shadow, giving him a mature, distinguished look. And those damn blue eyes, when they stare at me, it’s as if he can see straight through me. Mind out of the gutter, Carsen. He’s your married boss.

“You want it right here?” Patrick asks, maneuvering the desk into the corner. Looking away to smirk at the innuendo of his words, I pretend to contemplate other spots in the room to put the desk. What am I, a fourteen-year-old boy?

“Sure, I think that’s the best spot for it,” I say.

Patrick glances around the room, I bet he’s checking out all my stuff in here. He’s got the quiet, stoic thing down to a science. He’s so hard to read. It’s as if he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. I’ve heard parts of his story and I know he’s been hurt. Scarlette told me his wife left him. And yet he still wears his wedding band. I hope he doesn’t end up being a jerk, but I need this job to afford my part-time tuition at UVA. I can endure pretty much anything. And Maeve is such a good baby.

“I’d like for you to make yourself at home here,” Patrick says, his eyes warm and sincere. I love the moments when his guard is down, if only for a second. Like when he’s with Maeve. He is so sweet and good with her.

“Thank you, I will.”

He gives the room one last look and nods at me before he heads toward the door to leave.

“Wait. Are you hungry? I can whip something up for dinner,” I suggest since I’m sure he’s hungry. Aren’t men always hungry? And I could eat. Moving is no joke. He never mentioned cooking for him in my job description, but I don’t mind doing it.

Turning back toward me, he checks his watch. “Sure. I’ve got a project to finish on my laptop, so I’m afraid I won’t be much help. And I’ll keep an eye on Maeve.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of dinner.” I move a box of clothes off my bed and take it to the closet.

“Great. I’m not sure what I’ve got. There might be food in the freezer. Finish up what you need to here first.” He makes a sweeping gesture with his hand around the chaos that is my new room.

“I’ll be right down.”

Watching him walk out of my room, I can’t help but stare at his muscled body. He takes good care of himself. I wonder if he lifts weights. What is wrong with me? Checking out my boss this way.

Deciding to forgo the messy room for a little longer, I go downstairs and into the kitchen to start dinner. Patrick’s office is in the next room and as I walk by, I see Maeve sitting on the floor playing with a stack of books and Patrick staring intently at his laptop. Scarlette mentioned that he’s a very hard worker and spends a great deal of time at the office of McLoughlin Contracting. It’s a booming business in the Charlottesville area that he and his brothers, Braeden and Jackson, own together.

The freezer is full of steak, all different types: filet, sirloin, T-bone, ribeyes. This man likes to eat red meat. There’s one chicken breast and bag of asparagus. I’ll have to hit the grocery store tomorrow. I pull out a couple sirloins and pop them in the microwave. Not my preferred method of thawing meat, but it’ll have to do if we want to eat tonight.

I turn my phone on and pull up my iTunes account. Scrolling through, I choose some Coldplay to listen to while I cook. Keeping the volume down low, I dance around the kitchen while I start preparations for dinner. In the refrigerator, he does have a bag of lettuce and some other veggies for me to slice up for a salad.

Maeve pops her head around the corner of the office and starts crawling toward me. I start singing to her and she sits in front of me and laughs. Grabbing a plastic mixing spoon, I belt out the tune and she bounces up and down, dancing to my music. I hand her a spoon, plastic bowl, and a couple of pots and pans. She loves playing with all the kitchen utensils, so I can get cooking.

The meal is ready in just under an hour. Patrick is sitting at one side of the table with Maeve in her high chair next to him; I’m across from him. Maeve’s eating a sweet potato I cooked for her and a banana cut up into small bits.

Cutting into his steak, Patrick says, “It’s cooked perfectly. Thank you.”

“I don’t mind at all,” I tell him. And I don’t.

He picks up a piece of Maeve’s sweet potato and pretends that he’s going to put it in his mouth, but at the last second, he pretends it’s an airplane and flies it into her mouth, earning him a sweet giggle.

They are truly beautiful. They’d be so easy to fall for, this little family. But that’s stupid and dangerous. I’ve got to stay focused on my job and goals to earn enough money for tuition and eventually finish my art degree. Nobody in my family has ever gone to college. My brother and I will be the first.

“What were you working on?” I ask, pointing toward his office with my fork.

He finishes chewing a bite of steak and wipes the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “We just won a big bid on the new wing of the hospital. I’m managing this project; it’s a ton of work.” He’s smiling when he says this, a proud, confident smile. He’s a man who truly loves his work and takes pride in it.

“That’s exciting. Congratulations.”

“It is. Thank you. It’s going to keep me busy for a while. I’m grateful I’ve got you around to take care of Maeve. It’s been hard for me, leaving her all the time, but I feel better knowing that she has someone like you to take care of her. I’m doing all of this for her and her future.” He runs his finger along Maeve’s chubby cheek. She laughs and he gives her an adoring grin.

He tells me more details of the new hospital wing. It sounds like tons of responsibility, being in charge of such a big project and everyone’s safety. He also talks about his brothers, Braeden and Jackson. Scarlette, my mentor, is engaged to be married to his brother Braeden, and Jackson and his fiancée just moved into a new house. There’s pride when he talks about his family and his career. Not for the first time, I wonder how his wife could leave him.

Maeve starts to get fussy, so Patrick leans over and takes her out of her high chair and sets her on his lap. This makes her happy as she stops whining at once.

“Would you like me to take her upstairs to give her a bath?” I ask.

“That would be great. I can stay down here and clean up,” he says.

Standing, I go to over to Patrick’s chair and grab Maeve from him. His cologne is subtle, but smells like sandalwood and it makes me want to lean in closer and put my nose in the crook of his neck. But I don’t. When he hands her to me, we touch for a brief moment. His skin is warm and it sends tingles all over me.

“Let’s go upstairs and get you clean, little girl.” And cool me down.

In the bathroom, I start her tub water and set my phone on the counter. I’ve got a couple of text messages from my asshole-ex. I ignore it, shut it off, and splash cold water on my face.