Carsen

The evening with Braeden and Lettie was perfect. It couldn’t have gone any better, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about tonight and if Patrick and I will be finishing what we started last night.

He’s putting Maeve to bed now and I just finished brushing my teeth. I go into his bedroom and have a seat on the edge of his bed. My heart thuds in my chest. He told me to meet him in here, and he kissed me after he said it, so who knows why I’m nervous. Maybe it’s more excitement than nerves. Or a healthy combination of both.

Emotions were high after Cole showed up here and Patrick escorted him out. Patrick wants to protect me and the way he took care of me afterward was something I won’t soon forget. I can’t imagine how good it would feel to have him inside me. Want takes over my thoughts and pools low in my belly. It’s silly to get my hopes up. What if he reconsidered and doesn’t want to take things further? I take a few calming breaths to center myself.

Walking into the room, Patrick comes to the bed and sits down next to me. It’s impossible to look away from him. He’s tall and commanding and his mere presence brings a calm over me.

“Hey,” he says and lays his hand on my leg. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“I did. Your brother and Lettie are good people.”

“Good, I’m glad you think so. My family is very important to me and I like to spend as much time with them as possible.” His eyes always light up when he talks about the people he loves. It warms my heart.

Nodding at him, I say, “I know. It’s one of the things I admire about you, your connection to your family. My brother and I share it as well, and even though he’s off to New York soon, I know we’ll still stay in touch and hopefully one day we’ll live in the same city and we can have dinners together like you guys do.” I get a pang of guilt thinking about how much time I haven’t spent with my brother lately.

He’s gazing at me, giving me his full attention. I’ve never seen a pair of eyes more honest and open before. “You will have that because you’re so close. Even if you have to Skype to do dinner together. Do whatever you’ve got to do to stay close. There’s nothing more important.”

“When you and Braeden were talking, did he mention anything about me?” I ask.

Cocking his head to the side, he says, “What do you mean?”

I hesitate for a second, not wanting him to worry that Lettie suspects something is going on, when in fact, I still don’t know what’s going on between us. “It’s something that Lettie said to me,” I say, looking down toward my lap.

He lifts my chin up so I’m staring at his deep pools of blue. “What is it?”

“Lettie mentioned that she noticed we have chemistry.” I can’t believe I don’t see a look of concern or shock in his features. “She must’ve read our body language.”

“She is perceptive. What did she have to say about it?”

“That if you and I got together, she’d be supportive because she wants us both to be happy.” I bite at my lip, unsure how he’s going to take any of this. Maybe he doesn’t want anyone but us to know about what’s going on between us, and to have our cover blown by someone in his family could upset him.

“Wow, that was good of her. My family is tired of seeing me mope around. I’m sure tonight was the first night in forever that they’ve seen me let loose.”

“Lettie thinks I’m the reason you seem better. Is that true?” I ask, apprehension in my tone.

Patrick leans in and kisses my cheek, a soft breath of a kiss. “What if I said you were the reason? Is that too much to put on you?”

“No,” I say, my voice shaky. “I want to make you happy. Does that make me a bad person? That I have feelings for a married man?” I cover my mouth as soon as the words are out. How did I let them tumble out like that?

Clasping my hands in his, he says, “Carsen, don’t do that. Don’t take the words back and don’t be afraid of your feelings. My life is complicated, but you’re the first thing that’s made sense to me in a long time. Thank you for that.”

“None of this scares you?” I ask.

“Are you kidding me? Of course, I’m terrified. From the moment I laid eyes on you, somewhere deep inside, I knew my life was going to change.” His gaze is fixed on me with eyes clear and full of admiration. It warms me up from the inside.

“When you opened the door, the first day we met almost a month ago, I had an instant attraction to you. And I realized while we were talking that we had a connection, an unmistakable chemistry. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” My cheeks warm, but I can’t stop myself. He needs to know how I feel. I can’t hold it inside anymore.

Patrick smiles at me. It’s a beautiful smile that goes right up to his eyes and lands squarely on my heart. “I felt the same way, but I thought you would only see me as an old, lonely single dad. Someone like you would never take a second look at me.”

“Shhh.” I put my finger over his lips. “You can never say such silly things. You’re incredibly hot, smart, successful, and an amazing father. Who wouldn’t think you’re sexy?”

Kissing the pad of my finger, he sucks it into his mouth and raises his eyebrows at me. My nipples harden and press against the fabric of my bra. “All I care about is that you think those things.” Leaning forward, his mouth is on mine, claiming my lips with his own. We lie back and Patrick positions himself over me, never breaking the kiss. His mouth is wet, hot, and greedy. The full length of his body is pressed against mine, every inch rock hard, causing my heart to pound rapidly in my chest. No kiss has ever felt this good; it’s all consuming and fills me up, spurring me on.

Lifting the bottom of his shirt, I tug it up over Patrick’s head and stare at the smooth skin of his chest. My God, he’s perfection. My needy hands come to his chest and glide down his stomach. He moans and a shiver moves through him. I lift my own top over my head and unhook my bra, tossing it to the floor. All I want, all I need, is his skin against mine. All of it.

“You’re so beautiful,” Patrick rasps out, his eyes half-lidded with admiration. His strong hand comes up my bare chest and caresses my nipple with his thumb. It’s gentle and soft and sends a hum of energy between my legs. I bring my mouth to his, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth and pulling him back on top of me.

“Mmm, we feel so good together,” I say, my voice throaty, almost unrecognizable to my own ears. “Take our pants off.” I don’t know what inside me is making me so demanding. I’m never like this and I definitely wasn’t with Cole, but right now Patrick is turning me into a bundle of raw desire.

Wordlessly, Patrick tugs on my pants and yanks them and my thong off. He sits back, drinking me in and shakes his head. “Damn,” he whispers. His eyes are blue pools of lust, wide and looking as though they’d like to consume me.

Standing, he undoes his jeans and tugs them and his boxer briefs down. I shamelessly lie on my side and watch, chewing on my lip as I get a full, front row view of his erection. He’s long and thick. “Wow,” I breathe out.

He’s back on top of me in an instant, pressing his forehead against mine. “Do you like what you see?”

“Yes, I need you.” My hands roam down the ridges of his abdomen and further down until I grasp his length. Sliding my hand up and down, hot and hard, I guide him toward my entrance, teasing myself. He groans and crashes his mouth to mine and pulls back.

Leaning over to the drawer of his nightstand, he rifles through the contents and pulls out a condom, rips it open with his teeth, and slides it on. This time when he lies back on top of me, he sucks one of my nipples into his mouth, licking it again and again. His fingers deftly play with my clit, circling it, massaging it, awakening every cell in my body. I’m acutely aware of the flush of heat moving through my body, my blood pumping harder. His delicious masculine scent is all around me and now it’s mixed with my own, creating an intoxicating connection between us.

Clutching his length once more, I position him at my entrance. “I want you now.”

Nodding, he says, “I’m going to go slow.” He almost growls out the last word. Flexing his muscles, he enters me inch by delectable inch until he fills me all the way, stretching me to my limits. “You feel so good, Carsen. Perfect. Are you okay?”

“Better than okay. Keep going.” Raising my hips up to meet his, allowing him to glide in and out in rhythm with me, I moan and nearly pant when Patrick speeds up the pace. Every nerve ending in my body is super-charged and on high alert.

Patrick grasps behind my knees and pushes them back and closer to my head. At this angle, the sensations get sharper as he hits sensitive flesh deep inside me. My arousal grows and blooms with every sweet stroke. Leaning forward, he pinches my nipple between his teeth and sucks hard, intensifying the building pleasure. His mouth travels up my chest to my neck and I tilt my head back, granting him better access as he licks a warm trail to my mouth. “You’re driving me crazy,” he whispers in my ear.

Tension begins to spread through my body, tightening and coiling deep in my belly. “I’m close,” I cry out.

“Yes, let go.” He never stops his measured deliberate thrusts. “Look at me.”

Eyes wide, I stare at the gorgeous man on top of me. Giving over the last bit of control I have left, my body convulses as wave after wave of pleasure pulses through me all the way to my curling toes.

Just when I think it couldn’t get any better, Patrick works his skilled fingers down my clit, moving in relentless circles as if he knows all the secret ways to please a woman. His body continues to thrust expertly, stroking in and out of me. “You want to go again?”

“Yes,” I hiss out. Arching my back and clutching the sheets, my orgasm isn’t far off. Patrick’s mouth is on mine, his tongue plunging deep and wild. This kiss is unguarded and feral and unlike any before it. The energy and pressure build until I come apart again, heat rolling through me as I cry out his name.

Patrick’s movements are erratic now as his hands grip my hips and he grinds against me. He throws his head back and his muscles convulse in his own shuddering orgasm. A moan of pleasure comes from his throat as he sinks down and lies on top of me, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck. “You are amazing.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” I say, thinking that that is the understatement of the day. He could teach a class on erogenous zones and pleasing women.

We lie wrapped up in each other until our breathing normalizes. Rolling over so he’s next to me, Patrick lays his arm over my stomach and turns me to face him. “You’re okay?”

Stroking slow circles on his shoulder with my fingertips, I say, “I am so much better than okay. What about you?”

“I haven’t felt this way in a very long time.” He gives me a relaxed and sexy smirk.

For a few contented minutes, we lie in companionable silence. My body is completely sated, but my mind starts to wander. When Patrick tells me how good he’s feeling, I should be ecstatic. But I’m not. I’m reeling about the what-ifs. What if this a one-time thing? What if he regrets all of this in the morning? What if Maggie comes back and wants what is hers?

“Hey, I don’t like to see the frown on your face. What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

“Can I ask you a question without you getting upset?” I ask with hesitation. The last thing I want is to ruin the moment but I need to know more.

Stroking the side of my face with his finger, Patrick says, “Of course. We can talk about anything. That’s what this is about, open communication.”

My pulse slows down a few beats. “I know we are very new, but I’ve already started developing feelings for you. Do you mind telling me if you think a relationship could work out between us? Because if you say no, I need to protect my heart.” He has the potential to cause me a great deal of pain and if he isn’t sure what we could be, I need to start building a wall around myself.

Patrick links his hand with mine and lays a sweet kiss on the back of it. His gaze is sincere and deep. “When my life went to shit, I vowed to myself that I would never let another woman close to me. Ever. Damn, I’m not good at this.” He wrinkles his forehead and swallows hard.

“It’s okay. You’re doing great.” I give him a peck on the cheek and squeeze his hand.

“Thanks. I think I told you that I’ve never been good at expressing myself. I’m a work-in-progress. Anyway, after I got hurt I never wanted to experience that again, even if it meant I was single for the rest of my life.” A slow smile builds on his sexy face. “And then you waltzed into my life. You’re beautiful, caring, smart, passionate, and we click. I walked around trying to deny what I felt and tried to file it away in one of the drawers in my brain labeled ‘never going to happen.’”

“I felt exactly the same way. The attraction was instant, but so were all of the red flags, like ‘he’s way out of your league,’ ‘he’s married,’ ‘he’s hotter than anyone I’ve ever met.’”

His mouth curves into a smile and he raises a sexy as hell brow at me. “You think I’m hotter than anyone you’ve ever met?” In one quick motion, he yanks me on top of him so I’m lying on his chest, our bodies pressed together, his erection pressing against me.

Giggling, I say, “Oh, yeah. Without a doubt.”

With a heated gaze, he pulls me in close and kisses me, letting his hands roam down my backside. “I need you again. I don’t think I can wait.”

“Me either,” I sigh as his lips nip at my neck. And with that, all the fear of the what-ifs vanish.