I didn’t want to believe it.
Everything inside me revolted, wanting to vomit out the very idea.
How?
How did you totally disregard the truth when it stared you boldly in the face?
“It wasn’t her.” My ass hit the chair as I said the words. My own voice sounded hollow and disbelieving.
It was a feeble attempt at lying to myself.
“Eddie.” Am perched in the chair beside me, angling her legs toward me. She was so close her knees brushed against my legs. Her pale, small hand reached out and covered mine. Her skin was cold, which was a jolt to my senses.
My eyes snapped toward her, taking in her appearance for the first time since we’d first run out of the house. She was only wearing a pair of jeans beneath the T-shirt she’d slept in. My T-shirt.
Her eyes seemed haunted, and beneath them were dark circles that looked like bruises. Her lower lip was slightly puffy from her chewing on it. It was a habit she had when she was upset.
It was my job to protect her. Even in the middle of a shit storm. Even when I wanted to rage about the unfairness of it all, when I wanted to deny what I knew deep down.
Nothing else mattered quite as much. Not my parents or the store. Not Robbie. Not even Sadie and the fact she might actually be… Well, I wasn’t sure.
“You’re freezing,” I murmured. “Where’s your coat?”
“I didn’t think about it,” she replied. “It’s fine.”
“No.” My voice was hard and loud. I pulled my long-sleeved T-shirt over my head, immediately transferring it to hers. I heard her protest while her face was stuffed inside my shirt, and I told her to hush.
The second her head appeared, I demanded. “Arms.”
With a thick sigh, she pushed her arms through. The fabric was so long it covered her hands. “What about you?” She worried.
I glanced down at the fitted shirt I’d worn beneath the thicker one. “I’m fine.”
Amnesia leaned forward, pressing her palm against my cheek. “No. You aren’t.”
No. I wasn’t.
“I noticed.” I admitted, my voice low, almost ashamed.
“Noticed what?”
“She’s not like you,” I murmured.
“Of course she isn’t. We’re different people.” Her voice was gentle and patient. My heart squeezed a little.
This hurt. I hated to admit it, even to myself. To acknowledge this situation was fucked up and there was nothing I could do about it. It hurt to even think Sadie could do something like this.
I shook my head, trying to clear it some. “I mean, she’s broken. There’s something inside her that didn’t survive all these years. Something essential. She’s not whole, not like you are.”
“My mind protected me,” she whispered.
I grabbed her face, putting my forehead against hers. “Thank God,” I rasped. “Thank fucking God.”
The thought of Am being so damaged was more than I could take.
“I tried to ignore it.” I went on. “I made excuses. She was healing. She was traumatized. It would take time for her to adjust.”
“Those aren’t excuses. It’s the truth,” Am insisted.
“She needed more help than any of us realized. We all got lost in the fact that she came back, that she was ‘saved.’” I made a humorless sound. “She wasn’t saved. Not really. We failed her. I failed her.”
Am made a sound of protest, but I wasn’t about to allow her to try and talk me out of what I knew was the truth.
With a growl, I jolted up, pacing the length of the room.
“She’s said things, things that didn’t quite sit right with me. I ignored it, though. I wanted to believe she was okay.” I wanted this shit to be over. Twelve years was a long time.
“What kind of things?”
I spun. “She told me she belonged to me first. Told me the reason I loved you was because I thought you were her.”
“I think we’ve all thought that,” Am said, her voice quiet.
I knew those words hurt her. It was just another reason I tried to keep it all under wraps.
“No,” I insisted. “It was more. She was angry.” I thought about it, really allowing myself to see. “There is an underlying anger in her that she tried to hide. That no one wanted to see.”
“She has a right to feel angry. She lost so much.”
“Fuck,” I swore.
Amnesia stood from the seat. The hem of my shirt fell to her knees. “What?”
“Robbie came to the hospital. She blamed him, actually accused him of being the reason she was kidnapped.”
“Because of the dare,” Am surmised.
My stomach twisted, my heart beating rapidly. Oh my God. It was true.
Sadie was angry with Robbie. She blamed him for everything that happened to her. Everything she lost.
I glanced at Amnesia, thought about how she insisted Sadie was staring at us in the middle of the night… right before someone tried to kill Robbie.
I couldn’t bury my head in the sand, not anymore. Lives were at stake.
Lives of the people I loved.
“She doesn’t know what she’s doing.” I groaned. “She just doesn’t understand.”
Amnesia came forward, placing her hands on my chest. “We’re going to help her.” She assured me. “No one is going to blame her after everything she’s been through.”
Gazing over Am’s features—her freckles, brown eyes, and golden hair—my chest squeezed. If Sadie blamed Robbie so much she tried to kill him, would she come after my girl, too? Would she blame her for capturing my heart?
I couldn’t let that happen.
“We need to call the police.”