I wasn’t prepared. Not for the sight that greeted me when I stepped into Sadie’s hospital room.
The box of muffins I held wobbled, as though suddenly they were fifty pounds too heavy. On top, the beverage holder began to slide, and visions of coffee and hot chocolate splashing all over the floor and walls flashed in my mind.
Moving fast, I caught the drinks, pushed them back on top of the box, and steadied both with two hands. With breakfast firmly in hand, all my focus went back to the bed where Sadie was sleeping.
With Eddie.
Her head was against his chest, her body curled up along his side. The blankets were over her, but not him. Eddie was lying on top of the covers, fully dressed in gray sweatpants and a long-sleeved black shirt.
One of his arms was around her, keeping her close. His hair fell over his forehead, and I thought about the way it looked just last night when it was dripping wet in the shower.
It shouldn’t bother me. After last night, the moments we shared… I think parts of me were still trembling from it.
It did bother me.
Knowing he left my bed last night and came here was one thing. But seeing them together like this stung pretty severely.
Obviously, he loved me. I felt it whenever we were close. I tasted it when he kissed me, and I just knew it deep in my heart.
Could a man love two women at once?
Did he?
I wanted to be his only love. Sometimes we didn’t always get want we wanted. I think I knew that better than most.
Standing there with my heart literally caught in my throat, chest tight, and mind overfull, I debated on what to do. I could wake them. Give them the breakfast I brought and maybe try and talk to Sadie.
Or I could go.
Slip out the door as if I were never even here. Let them wake up alone. Give them time. Give him time. He agonized over this girl for almost twelve years. It wasn’t a shock to see her in his arms.
But it hurt just the same.
I was going. This was awkward. I felt self-conscious and wounded. Since my stomach felt hollow, I decided to just leave the food. I remembered all too well what it was like to be in the hospital, starving for something real to eat. Sadie would appreciate the muffins and coffee.
I would even leave my hot chocolate in case she preferred that.
Creeping over with barely a sound, I cautiously slid the food and drink onto the bedside table. A quick glance beside me caught a vision I didn’t want, but would likely carry forever.
The two of them pressed close. Peaceful in sleep.
Quickly, I skidded away as though I were fleeing from a masked killer, in a hurry, but also not wanting him to hear.
The door made a loud creak when I opened it, which made me wince, but I didn’t turn back. I slipped out, slowly letting it close behind me, staying with it until it latched with no sound.
Heaving a deep breath, I leaned against it for a long moment, trying to compose myself. My heart pounded beneath my ribs, and I felt oddly out of breath.
A nurse turned the corner at the end of the hall, and I spun away, walking toward the elevators so I wouldn’t get caught in conversation. The tap-tap-tapping of my sneakers against the squeaky-clean tile floor was impatient. The ding of the elevator arriving seemed to take forever.
I stepped inside, thankful I was the only one in the car. Bracing my hands on the wall, I leaned my bowed head against it to look at the floor. Behind me, the doors began to close, so I pushed off, turned around, and watched the entrance to the hallway grow smaller.
Right before they shut completely, a flash of movement stunned me. An arm jammed through the narrow opening and damn near got crushed.
I gasped, covering both hands with my mouth, anticipating the doors snapping shut and the arm being lobbed off and landing at my feet.
My imagination needed a serious chill pill.
Instead of cutting off the arm, the doors bounced back open.
“Eddie!” I said, rushing forward. “Are you okay? Your arm!”
“You see that?” he asked. “Almost got it cut clean off.”
I smacked him. “That was stupid!”
He was standing in the hallway; I was still in the elevator. The doors began to close between us again. I squeaked and backed up. All this talk of dismembering made me paranoid.
He cursed and jumped forward, landing inside the small box with me.
“What are you doing!” I exclaimed dubiously as the doors firmly closed and the car began to glide down.
Eddie swung around and promptly hit the emergency stop button.
Beneath our feet, the thing lurched to a stop, making us rock unsteadily.
“That was the stop button!” I yelled.
“What gave you the first clue?” he drawled quite sarcastically. “The bright-red color, the giant size, or the fact it says STOP in bold writing?”
“What’s with the surly attitude?” I asked coolly, crossing my arms over my chest. If anyone had the right to be surly, it was me.
“You saw us,” he intoned, stepping forward. It was a rather menacing step.
My body thought it was delicious.
I lifted my chin. “In bed together? Yep. Got an eyeful.”
His lip curled. “You thought you could run out without a word?”
“You looked busy,” I snapped.
He sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his already wild curls. “This is why I hit the stop button,” he murmured.
“What?”
His eyes flashed up to mine. He walked forward against me until my back was pressed to the wall, his hands flattened beside my head, caging me in. “We’re not getting out of this elevator until I make something crystal clear.”
“What’s that?” I asked, holding his stare.
“What you saw back there wasn’t what it looked like.”
“I know that,” I replied. “You were comforting her. She needs it.”
His eyes narrowed slightly, but he nodded. “She had a rough night. It’s, uh…”
I laid a hand on his chest. “You don’t have to explain. I know. She was your best friend. Your first love. You spent a long time wondering what if.”
His eyes bounced between mine. Searching. I didn’t know what he was searching for, so I couldn’t give it to him.
“I hurt you. Seeing me like that with her hurt you.”
“Maybe a little,” I admitted. Then quickly I added, “But I know it shouldn’t. I know—”
“Stop right there, Am,” he growled.
My eyes grew wide.
“Your pain isn’t any less important than hers. If anything, yours is more important.”
A little part of me sang a joyous song. Clearly, I had some real issues here. “Hers is much more recent.” I allowed.
“No.” He came forward, his body pressing all along mine so I was sandwiched between him and the wall. His nose caressed my cheekbone; his lips brushed against my jaw.
I sighed. His touch was always my undoing.
Drawing back, he said, “Look at me.”
Obviously, I listened.
“I’m in love with you. You. No one else. I thought you understood that after last night.”
“I do.” I promised. “I was just caught off guard this morning.”
“I get it.” He nodded. “If I saw something like that, I probably would have given the guy a bloody nose.”
I wrinkled up my face. “Probably?” I mean, we all saw what he did when I got shot with a paintball, during a game.
His head tipped back when he laughed. “Definitely.” Taking my hand, linking our fingers together, his face turned serious. “I can’t promise you won’t ever see Sadie in my arms again. She was my best friend. She needs someone to be there for her…”
I put my fingers against his lips. “I know that. I completely understand.”
He nipped at my fingertips, and I yanked them away.
“No, you don’t. What I’m trying to say is Sadie is my friend, and I feel responsible for what happened to her. You know I do.” I nodded, and he went on. “But I’m in love with you, Am. Not her. There are parts of me, so many, that will only ever belong to you. I might hold her when she cries, but you’re the only one I will climb into a shower for, fully dressed. The only girl I would lose an arm over trying to get into your elevator. Yours are the only lips I want to kiss. The only one I reach for when I wake up in the morning. Your body is the only one mine craves.” His head rested beside my ear, our fingers still entwined. “I love you,” he whispered. “Only you.”
That little piece of me singing a joyous song?
It turned into a full-on choral performance.
“I wish I could say I didn’t need to hear that, but I did.”
He grinned. “I saw you scurrying from the room like we were in some bad soap opera. I was afraid you were going to be like one of those overdramatic characters who jumps in her car, drives erratically, and hits a tree because her heart is eternally shattered.”
I blinked. “What?”
Oh my Lord, his grin unraveled me. Both dimples appeared, white teeth flashing. “Honey, if you think reality TV is bad, you should try some soap operas.”
Curious, I asked, “They’re on TV, too?”
Chuckling, Eddie grabbed me and pulled me in. I forgot all about whatever he was talking about. My belly overturned, landing somewhere near my feet, when his body folded around mine.
It was the kind of hug that consumed me. His large, tall frame hunched in, closed around me, and I was entirely surrounded. The scent of his skin, the warmth of his clothes, the sound of his heart beating steadily. I hugged back, holding him tight. My eyes slid closed, and all the insecurity I felt completely melted away.
“You brought us breakfast?” He pulled away but kept our hands linked.
I nodded. “I remember how grateful I was when you brought me food when I was here.”
He kissed my temple. “You’re a good person, Amnesia.”
“I was hoping I could talk to Sadie,” I blurted out, as if him calling me good was too much for my conscience to handle. I had so many questions.
“Of course you do,” he murmured. “So do I.”
“How is she?” I asked. “Does she seem… capable of answering? Does she seem…?” I faltered.
“Sane enough to believe?” He finished.
I nodded, feeling guilty.
Eddie reached behind him, hitting the emergency stop button again. The elevator groaned and started moving instantly.
“For the most part,” he answered.
I tilted my head, silently asking him to elaborate.
The elevator stopped and the doors opened.
Eddie leaned forward and hit the button for the floor we’d just left. Turning to me, he said, “I had to convince her to leave the island.”
Shock rendered me immobile. “She didn’t want to go?”
“She wanted to, but she’s scared of him. I almost feel she’s been brainwashed.”
“Widow West sounded the same way when she was going on about him.” Without thinking, I reached up and tugged the ends of my hair nervously.
Eddie’s hand came over mine. “He’s not going to hurt you.”
He knew I was thinking about what Sadie said yesterday. It was very similar to what the widow had said. He was going to be angry I cut my hair. He was going to punish me.
The elevator opened, the familiar hallway back in sight. Eddie led me off, stopping by a few windows that overlooked a parking lot.
“Do you think she’ll be up to talking?” I asked.
“I think there’s only one way to find out.”
As we went back toward Sadie’s room, my tummy filled with nervous energy. I couldn’t help but be a little scared of the things we might learn.