~Ava~
Ugh, more concealer. I dabbed viciously to hide the redness and puffiness from my eyes. I had been crying all evening, but I couldn’t possibly let him know that. Every time I took in a deep breath and told myself everything would be okay, a sob would come tearing out of me and my eyes would water, ruining my mascara and eyeliner. I know, our relationship never really existed so what could I possibly be mourning? I couldn’t tell you. Maybe it was remembering how even the thought of being with me brought him distaste. What's wrong with me? I know that’s quite a big question to be lying at your feet.
Now, I was questioning why I had ever thought sleeping with Thor was a good idea. What was I thinking? Do normal quarter-life crises involve torrid affairs? Moments like this made me afraid to ever be happy. I had gotten a promotion at work and things with Thor had seemed promising. But then, in an instant, the rug was taken from under me, and I was left paralyzed. At least I still have my job, right?
I took in a deep breath and reminded myself that things could always be worse. And the best way to make myself feel better was to show Thor exactly what he was missing. So I scrambled through my closet, searching for the tightest, most revealing and sexy outfit that I owned. I officially owed Evie for taking me out shopping. Otherwise, my only option would be pantsuits.
Despite the messiness still of my makeup, I eventually stood in front of my bedroom mirror with self-appreciation. With leather pants that molded to the curve of my hips and ass, a white backless shirt, and comfortable stilettos, I was ready for a night of drinking my sorrows away. It helped me restrain any more tears enough to clean up my makeup again. But by the time I heard my girl Evie ring the doorbell, I had a nice shadowy eye and highlight. No one would ever know I had been crying. Least of all him. Grabbing my clutch, I raced to the door.
“Whoa, you look great!” she complimented me.
I preened under her compliment and shrugged. “This old thing…”
Evie rolled her eyes. She was dressed to the nines as well in a black lace V-neck mini dress. Her stiletto pumps combined with the shortness of her dress made her legs seem long and lean. “I haven’t been out in so long. I’m so ready!”
I closed my front door behind me and nodded in agreement. “It won’t hurt that your outfit is going to blow Axel’s socks off.”
Evie giggled but ignored me.
The ride to the bar and club downtown was a short one. The butterflies in my stomach refused to go away as I thought about seeing Thor again. You already know this is going to be one awkward night. Even more so because I had yet to tell Evie what had happened between Thor and me. I didn’t want to hear ‘I told you so’, or even worse, a look of pity. It was my fault putting myself in that situation, and I could handle recovering from it on my own. At least for tonight.
“Axel and Thor are already there. They’re meeting us at the bar,” she informed me as we walked through the front entrance. A nightclub and lounge that catered to people in their late twenties and early thirties, the music was blasting through the speakers. It was a shock to the system, but a good one. Instead of looking for the guys with Evie, I immediately made my way to the nearest bartender and ordered a shot. It burned as it made its way down my throat but numbed some of my nerves.
“Whoa, girl! Slow down, we have all night!” Evie yelled in my ear when she found me. “Look, the guys are down this way, come on.”
I inwardly groaned but followed her. While the club was masked in darkness, there was enough light from the bar for me to take notice of Thor. And I immediately hated my body’s reaction to him. There was no denying his attractiveness; he was dressed in a slim fitted blazer with a simple t-shirt underneath. The broadness of his shoulders and chest, coupled with the slimness of his hips in dark jeans made my mouth water and my ovaries explode. My mind instinctively filled with memories of being held in his arms as he thrust against me, the passionate orgasms that left me spent, and the surprising gentleness of his lips. I avoided making eye contact, hoping he wouldn’t see me flush with arousal at his nearness.
But I could feel his gaze on me as we stepped toward them. Axel greeted me with a wide smile after taking Evie into his arms. Thor and I stood frozen, neither bothering to close the gap between us. It was in stark contrast to the lovers beside us, who couldn’t seem to keep their hands off one another. And I felt the familiar stirrings of jealousy as I watched them cuddle and caress the other. That’s it! I’m done.
I turned from them and went back to the bar for another drink. After another shot burned its way down my throat and spread its warmth in my stomach, I raced away to the dance floor. I needed any type of distraction to stop feeling. To stop hurting.
~Thor~
I made sure to keep my jaw from dropping to the floor when I first caught sight of her. She had a distant look in her eyes and seemed to be completely unaffected by my presence. It irritated me that while I was literally doing all I could to seem unbothered by her, she felt completely nothing. What happened to the woman who was a lustful hellcat in bed? The one who would literally beg for me to touch her? Mm, even the thought of it is making me hard. Damn her!
I could curse her all I want, but I also wanted to pull her against me and feel every curve of her body in those tight-fitting pants. When she turned away from us, and I got a glimpse of the naked and sexy line of her back, my jaw literally did drop to the floor. And immediately, I found myself slowly walking over. She can’t come out looking like that! My eyes perused the crowd in the club and immediately narrowed at the ogling eyes glued to her. She had absolutely no idea that nearly every man within the room was watching her and lustfully appreciating her beauty. Especially when her body began to sway seductively to the music on the dance floor.
I was reminded of one of our first meetings, when I had to save her from the mosh pit at the rock concert. That had been the official start of my attraction to her. I could lucidly recall the feel of her body grinding against mine, completely ignorant to the music. I wanted to feel her again, but more than that, I wanted to see her smile again. I had never cared for the feelings of any of my other lovers before but Ava was somehow different. Well, excluding Katherine, but let's not go there. I have to remember that they’re different. Katherine is not Ava.
After she had left the tattoo parlor, I had finally been able to calm down from my former emotional upheaval enough to really think about us. More and more, I was feeling mountainous guilt over how I had treated her and what I had said. I was afraid of trusting her, and I knew why. Katherine.
Moving quickly before any other guy in the club could lay claim to her, I approached and gently placed my hands along her waist. Bending down to her ear, I said,
“We need to talk, Ava.”
I immediately felt her stiffen beneath me at the sound of my voice. She turned, forcing my hands to release her.
“Don’t you ever touch me again! We have nothing to talk about. You said all you needed to say this afternoon. Now fuck off!”
She shoved me away and went deeper into the crowd. Instead of following her, I decided to just keep an eye out at the bar. And it was a good thing I did. Throughout the night, I watched her take several shots. And with each, her smile became more inviting. Too inviting.
“You looking out for your girl?” Axel came up to me.
“She’s not my girl,” I replied automatically, not taking my eyes off her.
He snorted at my reply. “Then please explain to me why you’re staring down every man that so much as glances at her. Seems oddly possessive for a woman you couldn’t give two shits about.”
I turned to him with a glare of warning. “I never said I didn’t care about her. We’re just not exclusive. Is that so hard to believe?”
Axel ran his hand through his hair with a condescending grin. “Of course, you’re not exclusive. When are you ever?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what I said. You are commitment-phobic, Thor.”
I leaned away from the bar so that I could get a better look at him, though still trying to keep an eye on Ava in my periphery. I was already extremely irritated, watching Ava dance with other men after soundly rejecting me. But, Axel was increasing my ire, and I was not afraid to put him in his place. “Listen, man. I’m going to ask you nicely, as a word of warning, to stay out of my business. I don’t need your advice when it comes to my relationships or lack thereof. Just because you’re jumping at the bit to settle down doesn’t mean you have any right to judge me. If you want to keep our friendship, kindly back the fuck off.”
“That’s just it, Thor! As your friend, I’m trying to help you. I’ve watched you go further and further down the rabbit hole and become a man I barely even recognize anymore.”
I sucked my teeth, knowing exactly where he was trying to go. “Shut up, Ax! Just leave it alone.”
But he ignored me. Can’t this man take a fucking hint? “I see the way you have been looking at her, Thor. This is more than just a one-night stand. You have enough potential fuck buddies to not be bothered by her dancing with other men if that was the case. But it is obvious how bothered you are, and that means something. It’s the first time you’ve been like this since-”
I grabbed his shirt collar in my fist and pulled him to me threateningly. “If you so much as say her name, Ax…I can’t be blamed for what I do next. Now, I’m going to ask you nicely, stay out of it. Ava is nothing like her.” But my voice trembled slightly at my last statement, and he noticed. I could tell by the glint in his eye that he noticed. Dammit, now I’m never going to hear the end of this shit.
“But that’s what you’re afraid of right? That she will be? You know what, we’re going to talk about this another time. But right now, I think you should try to focus on keeping your girl out of the arms of another man.” His eyes scanned the dance floor, and my gaze followed.
My eyes caught sight of a tall man behind her. Ava was grinding against the bastard with no care in the world. In his old school fedora, he had his hands spanning her delicious hips, pushing her into his crotch so that their movements mimicked the throes of sexual passion. And I lost it. Releasing Axel suddenly, he took a step back to regain his balance while I hunted down the woman who had entrenched herself in my mind. I still had no idea what I would say, how I would apologize, but I couldn’t stand by any longer and have her be with someone else. She was mine. Believe me, I know this completely contradicts my conversation with Axel. But this time is different.
I tore through the crowded dance floor until I stood in front of them. Without skipping a beat, I pushed him away and placed my arms around her. Ava, not yet fully understanding what was going on, placed her hands on my chest and looked up in confusion.
“What the fuck is your problem, man?” I heard the fedora motherfucker yell back at me.
Apparently, my glare of warning was enough to send him tripping over his words. He held up his hands in surrender and backed off. Scoffing at how easily he was intimidated, I pulled her against me and made my way back to the bar.
I had a more important fight on the horizon, and I could already feel the tension building within her as she realized what exactly was going on. Being the feisty woman she had always been, I suddenly yelped in horror, bending down to soothe my sore toe. She had quite literally paralyzed me by stomping her heel into my foot.
“Ugh, goddammit, woman!” I exclaimed.
“Get your hands off me before I call over security and have them throw you out.” Her words were slurred.
With the pain beginning to numb, I could only hope I hadn’t lost a toenail because of her violent outburst. But I took in a deep breath, not allowing her to see how affected I actually was. Just play it cool, man.
“Come with me,” I said through gritted teeth. Knowing she was no match for my height and strength, I pulled her away from the crowd to the front of the club so we could talk outside away from the noise. I took note of how she swayed back-and-forth as we walked, clearly drunk off her ass.
When we finally made it out into the cool night air, she tried to shove me away but only accomplished throwing herself off balance. To catch her before she fell into the street, I encircled her waist and trapped her between myself and the brick wall of the club. From the outside, we just looked like a couple snogging after a couple of drinks. Because of my size, she was completely invisible to outsiders.
With my body towering over her and keeping her from escape, her emotions switched from fierce anger to despair. I watched in shock as she began to cry in front of me, occasionally pushing at my chest.
“Why won’t you just leave me alone?” she cried pathetically.
While I felt guilty about manhandling her, I also knew there was no way I could’ve stood by and watched her be taken advantage of in her current state. I could smell the alcohol on her, her eyes were out of focus, and she slurred her words. It still surprised me how much I cared. That I wanted to take her into my arms and make sure she was safely in bed by the end of the night. I hadn’t cared for anyone in a long time. Not for a while.
“Listen baby, you’ve had enough for tonight. I know you don’t want to be near me, I get that. But I’m not going to watch you nearly fuck someone else on the dance floor and stand by. You’re better than that, and I know you’re only acting out because of what happened earlier today.”
“What do you care?” she glared. “You got to fuck me and then got tired of me. Now it’s someone else’s turn.”
“I did not get tired of you, Ava.” I shoved a hand through my hair in frustration, but then saw the look of confusion in her dark eyes. She was so beautiful to me. The way she looked up at me with her full lips parted, I had to consciously hold myself back from taking her lips and simply kissing her into submission. But I couldn’t take advantage of her in this state. Even I would never cross that line.
“I want to tell you everything, but now is not the time because you probably won’t remember any of it. I’m taking you home, do you understand? You need to drink some water and sleep this off.”
I took a step back to lead her away but she didn’t move. Turning back to her with a raised brow, I was faced with how much my actions and words had affected her spirit. She stood against the brick wall, shaking her head and holding back tears. It seemed like alcohol really brought down all the walls she had so diligently forged earlier.
“I’m not going anywhere with you. You treated me like c-crap. You’re just like Sean,” she mumbled the last part as if talking to herself. “I fell for it again. I’m so stupid!”
I didn’t know what she was talking about, but I also didn’t want to inquire about anything while she was in a drunken state. After a moment, she seemed to calm down some, enough that when I pulled her back into the club she no longer tried to sever my toes. I did a quick cursory glance over the crowd before I spotted Axel and Evie speaking intimately away from the pandemonium of dancers. Keeping Ava close to me, I walked over to them.
“Hey, listen. I’m going to take Ava home. She’s partied enough for one night.”
Evie touched her friend gently on the shoulder, a look of worry on her face. “What do you mean? What’s wrong, Ava?”
Ava shook her head but didn’t respond, her eyes losing focus.
“She’s drunk off her ass and if you don’t want her to get alcohol poisoning, it’s best if I take her home.”
Though I could tell Evie was aware that I spoke the truth, she didn’t seem too happy about my proposition. “No, I think I’ll take her home myself.” There was a look of suspicion decorating her face, and I instinctively became defensive. But after a moment, I could see what it looked like. She’s clearly just worried about me taking advantage of Ava. Damn, she really doesn’t think too much of me, does she?
“Look, I’ll give you my phone and address. I promise she’ll be okay; I’m not a sick pervert. I just want to take care of her. I need to make it up to her.”
I seemed to have dug myself into an even deeper hole with this reveal because her eyes narrowed even more and she took a threatening step toward me. “What did you do?”
Axel took it upon himself to calm the impending drama that was slowly unfolding. “Evie, you can trust him. He would never do anything to hurt her. He just wants to show her that he’s willing to be exclusive, right?” he turned to me with a mischievous grin.
The bastard. If I say no to that, then Evie is never going to let me take Ava home. Yeah, I could admit that Ava was mine, but the thought of being exclusive still made me hesitate. Why do people always need a title for everything, anyways? I glared at him but nodded. “…exactly.”
Only he seemed able to hear the hesitation in my voice because Evie let out a squeal of glee. Poor Ava was so overwhelmed by the alcohol she had drunk, she seemed completely unaware of what had been said. But once she heard Evie’s screams of excitement, she screamed as well and started to dance drunkenly against me. Partying was apparently the only thing she understood in her drunken haze. Before things could get too out-of-hand and she threw a fit when I forced her to leave, I texted Evie my information to relieve any lingering hesitations and placed my arms around Ava. I tried to ignore how right it felt having her in my arms again. Despite her height, she still had the body of a woman, and the indentation of her waist before the flare of her hips was a dream. But I can't think about this right now. It’ll only be a few moments before she is throwing herself over the toilet and spewing her guts out. I had seen her take more than five shots that night without even a semblance of possibly slowing down.
“Where are we going?” she mumbled when we had finally made it to my car. Before I could respond, she squealed and jumped up and down like a kid in a candy store. “Ooh, I love your car. It’s so sexy!”
I watched humorously as she caressed the silver Ford Mustang GT, rubbing her breasts against the window. What the fuck did this woman drink?
Grabbing her forearm, I pulled her away and forced her to turn around to the truck behind her. “That’s not my car.” While it’s not as flashy as the Mustang, at least I can fit into the front seat. Hey, I’m an average Joe, not a millionaire. I don’t see the point of paying my life away just to get from point A to point B.
“Oh. Well at least you’re not overcompensating.” She giggled and playfully shoved at me. “Get it? ‘Cuz you have a big dick!”
I was floored by her outlandish remark but became horrified when she turned to passersby’s and yelled louder, “He has a big dick!”
The man and woman gave her a look of horror that mirrored my own and quickened their steps. I groaned and quickly led her to the passenger seat. She was still laughing.
“See? I can humiliate you too.”
The drunk, conniving little… god, but I still wanted her.
~~~
When we finally arrived at my place, my hands were beginning to sweat in nervousness. This isn’t that big a deal. She’s so drunk she probably won’t even have time to judge my living arrangements, right? Who am I kidding? This woman still found the time to get her payback with only half of her mental faculties. The good news was that I had bigger worries than her appreciating the aesthetics of my apartment, because as we continued to drive away from the downtown area, her face was becoming very…green.
Fuck!
“Thor…” she mumbled.
“What is it, baby?”
“I think…I’m not feeling real well.”
I never moved so quickly in my life. Parking like a maniac, I picked her up from the passenger seat and walked her up the few flights to my apartment, straight to the bathroom. Holding her hair behind her was signal enough for her to let loose everything she had drank earlier.
I really must care about this woman because this has got to be the un-sexiest thing in the world. But I found myself more concerned about her health and cursing myself for allowing her to drink as much as she did. After all, I had been watching her all night unable to keep my eyes away from the way she moved on the dance floor. I could sense the heat of anger growing in my stomach again as I recalled her dancing with another man. But, more importantly, I remembered how much I had wanted to replace him, to have permission to touch her again. Patting her back soothingly, I waited for her to finish. When the heaves stopped, I searched in my pantry for mouthwash and an extra toothbrush. Ava muttered thanks to me when she finally had strength enough to come to her feet. I stood by her side and waited for her to finish, then turned on the showerhead.
It was an intimate moment I had never shared with anyone. We both stood under the pellets of water, having it soothe our muscles. I couldn’t keep my hands off of her, but it was not out of lust. With the suds of the soap facilitating my descent, my fingers rubbed every part of her clean. I was able to gently explore the curves of her body, discover the sensitive indentations of her knees, her elbows, and even the soles of her feet. From my knees I looked up at her when she placed her fingers into my hair.
“Thor?”
I waited for her to continue, giving her my undivided attention.
“I’m confused. Why are you doing this?”
Shaking my head, I pulled us both directly under the spray of the shower to wash away the last of the soap. “Let’s not think about it tonight. You’re tired.”
As proof of this, Ava didn't put up a fight. After sensuously drying and then moisturizing every inch of her delectable body, I led her into my bedroom and gave her one of my old college shirts. She crawled into the king sized bed and was out like a light, but only after I made sure she had several cups of water.
Even once her peaceful sighs filled the room, I stood by in watch, contemplating my next move. Ava was unlike any other woman I had dated since Katherine, but I had mistakenly treated her like she didn’t make me feel again. The last time I had felt the inklings of…whatever this was, it had ended in an absolute disaster. Now, I could recognize my need to fight with her earlier as a desperate attempt to push her away. Because I could finally admit that it made no sense for me to be suspicious of her. Ava may have liked to present herself as tough and impenetrable, but underneath the hard exterior was a sweet and uncertain woman. And for a moment, she had shown me that, but then I ruined it. I really fucked things up…