~Ava~
Regretfully, I looked down at the empty pizza box. One…two…fuck! There are only three pieces left? There I was again, eating my feelings like a hormonal middle school girl. Since when did I become the stereotypical love-struck heroine that decides to self-destruct because a man doesn’t want her? Instead, what I should be doing is getting hot so that he’d woefully regret ever deciding to give me up in the first place. How empowering! I hope you sense my sarcasm.
I gave the near-empty pizza box one final death glare before closing it and sitting back into the deep cushions of the couch. Just as my body was beginning to drown into its sturdy comfort, I heard a decidedly intense knock at my front door. Ugh, why do guests always have the worst timing? And who the hell would be knocking on my door this late anyways? Evie had been spending every waking moment she wasn’t in the office with her officially very serious boyfriend, Axel. The two were becoming completely inseparable, and it was slight nauseating especially considering my huge fallout with Thor. I shuddered again at his memory; he was like a obstinate ninja, doggedly karate chopping his way into my thoughts at the most inopportune times.
Considering the hour, I made sure to look through the peephole of my door before even allowing my hand to approach the doorknob. Oh my god, what the hell is he doing here? In a panic, I looked at my surroundings; the empty pizza box was a shameful reminder of my poor eating and combined with the haphazard pillows and blankets on the couch, my apartment looked exactly how I felt- a hot mess. I’ll be damned before I let him see me like this.
Suddenly encompassing the spirit of Usain Bolt, I sprinted through my living room, picking up the carton of food, blankets, pillows, and forgotten underwear and bra- eww. Another more urgent knock sounded at my door and my heart leapt into my throat.
“Just a minute!” I yelled from my bedroom. The carton of leftover pizza fell onto the floor while I threw the blanket and pillows back on my bed. With a quick glance into the mirror, smoothing out what I could of my hair and popping a mint into my mouth, I approached the door again. Allowing a small gap in the frame, I peeked out questioningly,
“What are you doing here?” There was no welcome in my voice, but I was unable to hold back a slight hitch of excitement at his presence.
Despite the door being between us, I could practically feel his body heat, and his delicious scent encompass my surroundings. Thor had a distinctly masculine aroma with just a hint of sweetness that left my mind boggled at the contrast but my mouth watering. With him leaning against the frame, despite the barrier of the door, I somehow still felt caged in and overwhelmed by his larger build. Thor stared down at me with a vicious intensity in his eyes, practically devouring what little of me he was able to see. And I, notwithstanding all my efforts at trying to move on and forget the way he had so effortlessly made me fall for him, found myself drowning in his emerald gaze. My body protested the little distance between us; I could feel the heat and wetness begin to pool between my thighs, having been conditioned to desire him without thought or remonstration.
Instead of answering my question, with the passion of his stare never stalling, Thor quietly brought a hand to the door and lightly pressed it inward.
“Let me in,” he said simply.
I could hear the yearning in his voice and my pussy whimpered in need. God, why does he garner this reaction from me? I’m a grown woman, not a nymphomaniac. Still, I had to bite my lip to stop myself from moaning and doing exactly as he commanded. I loved when he ordered me around in the bedroom, when he would take control and yet still be able to leave me beyond satisfied. But this wasn’t the bedroom. Remember why you walked away from him to begin with. He’s only going to hurt you.
“No, Thor. It’s over, we have nothing to say to each other anymore.”
He didn’t so much as blink to acknowledge words. Instead, he pressed forward, leaning down almost as if he was getting ready to kiss me through the gap in the door.
“You’re going to let me in Ava. Because we need to talk and come to an understanding. But after that, all bets are off. I’m going to fuck you until you scream, and I know you want that as much as I do.” He paused and licked his lips, “Don’t you, baby?”
I watched the movement of his tongue almost as if I was in a trance. A part of me wanted to shove the door away, so that I can feel myself pressed against him, completely smothered and soothed by his muscular arms around me, my cheeks pressed against his chest so that I could hear his heart beat. But the other part remembered crying myself to sleep at night. Wondering what made me so unwanted. I could remember the pain from Sean but it paled in comparison to what I had felt for Thor. I had hated him, but then that hate had turned into desire, lust. And from that burning passion, I found myself wishing and hoping for more, against my own better judgment and our agreement that nothing more could come of our relationship but physical satisfaction.
“I can’t do that,” I replied softly, all the bravado gone from my voice. “I can’t let you in because…if I do, I’ll just hope for something we both agreed could never happen.”
He scoffed and took a step away from the door. For a moment, I feared that he was going to give up, lay down the towel, and walk away. But, instead he paced in front of my door.
“We made that agreement when we barely knew each other, in fact when we detested one another. Unless you were lying to me that day in the parlor, you know that is no longer the case. I may not have caught on or been as quick to voice the changes between us, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it as well. Now…let me in, Ava. I’m not going to discuss having a serious relationship with you in the hallway for your neighbors to hear. And I damn sure don’t want you to be reported for another noise complaint when I do all the things I’ve dreamt of doing to you for weeks.”
He walked back to his former spot in front of the door. “I’ve missed you, Ava. I’ve missed you so much, and all I really want to do right now is hold you. Please, baby.”
My mouth was opened in shock, not really having digested everything he had revealed in a tiff of frustration. But my body seemed to have wanted to respond nonetheless as my hold upon the door loosened, and I took a step back for it to open completely. Gently, Thor walked up to me and closed the door behind him. With little space between us, he reached down and stroked my cheek. It was surprising to say the least. In spite of all the passion that simmered between the two of us, there were rarely any moments of intimacy. Even when we would begin to cuddle after bouts of lovemaking, I would begin to see a coldness emerge in his eyes that made me rethink wanting it.
“Come here,” he said gently. He was waiting for me to make the final move, almost as if he cared about my comfort, my feelings. This wasn’t the same man that mocked me at the coffee place or the one who would hide his feelings behind sarcastic and snide remarks. But I had still wanted that man, and the one before me made it all the sweeter.
I closed the space between us and released a pent up sigh as soon as I felt his arms surround me. Inhaling deeply, I took in his aroma and felt my stomach clench in desire. His scent had disappeared from my sheets weeks ago; I had not wanted to wash them. I know that sounds disgusting, but I’m seriously sprung. I can admit it now at least.
“You feel so good,” he groaned into my ear. My eyes closed, appreciating the rumble in his chest as he spoke to me. I hadn't realized just how much I wanted this level of intimacy with him. But here it was, and I had to hold myself back from squealing like a teenage girl as I was subsumed by his closeness. But now was not the time…
“Whoa, there buddy,” I said to him but also as a reminder to myself. “You promised that we’d talk first.” I looked up at him, once again amazed by how much my size paled in comparison to his. Hmm, every big girl loves feeling tiny next to her man. And I’m no different. My man? That sounds nice. I wonder if he thinks of me as his now too.
“You’re right,” he admittedly, obviously reluctant. With a sigh, he released me, and I immediately missed feeling his heat. Gently, he took my hand and led me to the couch. Once we were settled down, I looked toward him expectantly.
“I’m really not good at this.”
Curious at his initial statement, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“I don’t want you to think I didn’t want a relationship with you because of anything involving you. When you came to me that day, I didn’t want to be in a relationship because I have a bad history with them. In fact, I haven’t been in one in over three years.”
“Why not?”
His shoulders immediately stiffened and his eyes hardened as they looked at me. But it was as if he wasn’t really seeing me; instead, there was an emptiness suggesting he was overcome by painful memories. Acting on instinct, I scooted closer to him until I was pressed against his side and took his right hand between both of mine. Again, he dwarfed me in size, but I gently caressed his palm, encouraging him to reveal whatever mental block had kept him from saying yes to me that day.
Thor came back to and gave me a warm smile. “I was engaged before.”
What did he just say to me? My hands stopped their caress as I tried to swallow his big reveal. “Engaged?” there was a quiver in my voice as I prepared myself for what he would say next.
“Yes, I met her while I was living in New York, trying to become the next big contemporary artist.” He scoffed at the last part. “She was from a completely different lifestyle, grew up on the Upper West Side, attended private schools her entire life before going to Parsons and ending up working in high fashion. She was definitely a force to be reckoned with. And, as you know, I have a thing for strong, independent women,” he gave me a knowing smirk that made me blush slightly. “I was having some minor success, mostly because of my looks. But, the art world is notorious for being fickle, and just as quickly as it seemed I was getting somewhere and making a name for myself, I was old news.
“While I had been on top, we decided to get married, but it was during our engagement that things began to fall apart for me. My work wasn’t selling as expected, and galleries were losing interest as a result. I was so sickeningly in love I didn’t see the changes in her, how she had become dismissive of my dreams and constantly compared me to the men her parents wanted her to be with.” Thor sighed in frustration and shook his head. “I was a fool. And on the day of my wedding, I was the fool waiting for her to show up.”
I gasped softly, seeing the pain in his features as he disclosed such a vulnerable memory. “She left you at the altar.” It wasn’t a question. Somehow I needed to say the words aloud to believe them, because only a complete fool would leave a man like Thor waiting to spend the rest of his life with you. Who he described was a completely different man from the one I had started an affair with. I mean could you have imagined him engaged? And don’t lie.
“Did you ever hear from her after that?”
“No, I returned to our apartment and all of her shit was gone. She left me a note saying it never would have worked in the first place; we were from two completely different worlds. And she had a point, but I thought our feelings for each other could overcome the difference in our backgrounds.”
Thor leaned back into the seat cushion and rubbed his free hand down his face in exhaustion. “So, since then, I’ve sort of closed myself off from women. I preferred just to fuck and move on. If I could be misled once, it could happen again.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes after that. While I still held onto his hands, I needed time to digest everything he had told me. It was the most he had ever been willing to reveal about himself in one conversation. Usually, it had been like pulling teeth getting him to talk about himself. Now, I could see just how serious he was about changing what was between us. Would I be setting myself up to getting hurt if I went along with this? But if he is willing to take the risk given his poor history, shouldn’t I be brave enough as well?
“She didn’t deserve you, Thor. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I completely understand the barriers you put up because I’ve done the same thing. And I think that’s why I’ve felt so connected to you. Yeah, we didn’t really get off to a great start, but we’ve seen each other at our worst, right?”
Thor laughed at that. “Yes, we definitely have.”
“And yet that didn’t keep us from wanting the other. So, if you’re willing to try, so am I.”
He shifted his body so that he was facing me and placed his free hand possessively around my neck to pull me closer. Gently caressing my jawline, Thor looked down into my eyes with the same intensity from earlier.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t stop wanting you, and in three years that's never happened to me. And I definitely don’t want to ever see you dance with another man again.” He leaned forward and my lips automatically parted in anticipation of his kiss, but then he paused. “You’re mine, understand?”
“Yes,” I said breathlessly. Before my lips could finish forming the words, he took control of them.
I moaned in desperation as he explored my mouth, plying forcefully at my lips. He palmed the back of my head to control my movements even more, and I could do nothing but encircle my arms around his thick neck. When we finally came up for air, I said,
“And you’re mine.”
Thor grinned playfully at me, seeming pleased at my possessiveness. “Of course, baby.”
“So I guess I get to break your relationship abstinence, huh?”
“I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else but the crazy woman that tried to steal my coffee.”
I giggled. I can’t believe I’m actually giggling like a schoolgirl right now. But I was on a high, my heart racing at my good fortune. I couldn’t believe that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
His eyes scoured my features, resting on my lips before travelling down to my breasts. Instantly, my nipples hardened in anticipation of his touch. I even found myself slightly arching my back in want. He noticed.
“Come here,” he said softly, inclining his head away from me.
Without a moment of doubt, I reached over until I was straddling his waist and seated comfortably in his lap. His hands gripped my hips maneuvering me directly against the erection in his pants. My resulting moan brought out the mischievous boyish grin I was coming to love from him.
“Take off your shirt,” he demanded, and I threw the pajama shirt away. It landed on the floor, and my breasts swung free for his lustful inspection.
“Damn, I’ve missed this.” He reached forward to place soft kisses down my chest before taking a tip into his mouth, suckling gently. Too gently. My fingers plunged into his dark locks, gripping his hair in order to push him closer to my chest. I was silently urging him to suckle me deeper, harder into the warm, cavernous depths of his mouth. My hips rolled into his, creating a delicious friction between the two of us.
He moved from one dark peak to the other, refusing to listen to my desperate movements. My increasing frustration only spurred my desire, and I saw the answering humor in his eyes as he observed me. I hate but also love how he teases me.
“You taste so sweet, Ava,” he whispered to me. His mouth moved from my breasts, trailing his tongue to my neck where he suckled upon my skin.
I threw my head back, closing my eyes. Just as suddenly, he stood up from the couch with me still wrapped around his waist. But his mouth never left me. Thor’s hands however explored every curve of my body as he walked us into the bedroom. From my hips and ass to the indentation of my back, he left no area unturned.
When we finally entered my room, he threw me roughly onto the bed and began to undress. Following his lead, I reached for my sweatpants and pulled the last vestige of clothing from my body. Seeing that I had gone commando, Thor’s eyebrow raised incredulously.
“Were you expecting someone?” he asked slowly.
I rolled my eyes at his question; instead of answering, I came to my knees on the mattress and pulled him closer to me. In this position, I was nearly at eye-level with him. “Are you going to waste time asking questions or are you going to take what you’ve been missing?” I challenged.
Knowing that he loved brazenness in the bedroom, it was no surprise when he growled with desire and gently fell on top of me. I had missed the feel of him against me and couldn’t help closing my eyes to take in the moment. From the roughness of the sparse hair on his thighs to the odd smoothness of his chest and arms, he was a fantasy come to life.
“I have to taste you,” he whispered to me, and I almost protested the cool air that replaced him. Thor trailed his lips down my body before forcefully placing my thighs apart. The brush of the cool air in the room made my nipples harden, my inner muscles clench in anticipation of being filled. But I had to wait, because it wasn’t the velvet hardness of his cock that played at my entrance, but the smooth touch of his lips. He kissed me gently, exploring the area between my thighs as if in worship. His teasing touch made me squirm on the bed sheets. My fingers tightened into fists and my breath grew heavy.
“Please, Thor. I want more. Give me more,” I begged him.
Instead of continuing the torture, I felt a rumble come from him and the roughness of his tongue thoroughly explore my slit. Moaning in ecstasy, I urged him on as he began to burrow deeper into my folds, encouraged by the wetness that leaked from me unencumbered.
“You taste so fucking good, Ava,” he grumbled. Pushing his hands beneath me, he pulled me closer to his mouth with a tight grasp on my hips and ass.
I could feel the pressure beginning to build, my stomach muscles tightening and the inner walls of my pussy pulsing as I slowly reached my peak. When his lips gently pulled at my sensitive clit, I was no longer waiting for the ultimate release but freefalling. Screaming, I closed my thighs around his ears, preventing him from moving from his position between them. But Thor seemed not to mind at all; he greedily lapped up my release. Even as I fell back onto the surface of the bed in exhaustion, he did not stop. This time, instead of moaning for him to continue, I gently pushed at his head, urging him to stop.
“Thor, I can’t…it’s too much.” My legs were shaking and a sheen of sweat now clothed my skin as I tried to recover.
His emerald gaze reached me, smoldering with lustful intent. Slowly, he crawled up until his chest hovered over me. “How can you expect me to stop? I can’t get enough of you.” He then took ownership of my mouth, forcing me to taste myself upon his lips and tongue. With his usual dominant need, he took control of our mutual exploration, pulling my tongue into his mouth and leaving no corner unturned with his. I placed my arms around his neck in fear that he would stop; I didn’t want us to disconnect. To ensure this, I pulled him further on top of me. I wanted to feel his weight and the hard desire of his cock between us.
In invitation, I spread my legs for him and wrapped them around his hips. And in reaction, he pressed himself against me, slowly spreading my lips to accommodate his size. Whoa, I completely forgot how gifted he is in that department.
“Fucking hell,” I mumbled at the discomfort. But somehow in my lustful haze, the pain was a welcome aphrodisiac. Like ripping a Band-Aid off, he thrust forward until he was deeply embedded within me, and I could feel his groin against me with little space in between.
“Fuck!” he growled. We both shuddered at the union, something we had gone without for what seemed like too long. And in sync, we began to move. With every inward thrust, he rubbed seductively against my clit, bringing me closer and closer to another orgasm. Any time we were together I no longer recognized myself. I was no virgin, but never before had I found myself shaking uncontrollably, tearing at anything in reach, urging him on with impatience, and literally begging for more.
“This is my pussy baby. No one else’s,” he growled, his cock swelling inside her. “You’re mine,” every word enunciated with a thrust of his hips that made him slide even deeper inside me.
“Yes, Thor. I’m all yours. Fuck me…please,” I whimpered.
My walls stretched to accommodate him as he grew wilder atop me. I clung to him, my body shuddering with each powerful thrust. Thor held me down, not allowing me to move, making me completely vulnerable to his forceful desire, and I loved every second of it. His balls slapped against me rhythmically, punctuating his frenzied pumps. Our grunts and moans filled the room, the sweat pouring from our bodies as we desperately tried to please each other.
I muffled my cries by biting into his shoulder, and the pain seemed to push him further over the edge with me. With my pussy holding him snug inside me, I felt every burst of heat from his release as he ground his cock into me. Thor threw his head back and grunted, grinding as deep as possible.
When we finally came down from our high, he reluctantly rolled over, and I shuddered at the feel of his cock leaving me. A flood of his semen rushed out with his exit, and then it finally occurred to us both what we had missed. I turned to him, my mind frozen. And his face mirrored mine with the look of horror.
Shit, what have we done?