~Thor~
It wasn’t like me to grovel, but I was ready to do it. Every night, Ava had visited me in my dreams. Her scent had stayed within the sheets of my bed for days. And now that it had completely disappeared, I wanted it back. Sitting in my office, my thoughts were torn between my livelihood and her. I’m not going to lie; her rejection stings. Could I have done something differently? Did I unknowingly come off as a cocky asshole? What other reason would she have for saying no, right?
What did it really matter why I said what I said? Isn’t the apology more important than anything else? I groaned and leaned back into my office chair, my hands running through my short hair. My mind was scrambling with different ways I could make it up to her, but I was consistently coming up short. Because there was still a part of my mind that believed this was all for the best. I shouldn’t feel what I did for her because there was no way it could go anywhere else. How could I live with myself if I ended up in the same position as before?
I know us guys usually come off as insensitive bastards, but I have feelings too you know. Deep, deep down. And every once in a while, they come running to the surface at the most inconvenient times. Like now. I have the best sex of my life and suddenly start growing attached. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Tearing me from my thoughts, my door opened and Zane poked his head in with an uncertain smile.
“Sorry to disturb you, man. There’s a new client who is demanding to see no one but you. Quite the forceful woman, actually.”
While it was certainly not uncommon for a person to come in with a specific artist in mind, judging from the look on Zane’s face, this was more than just a technique preference. Thinking- hoping- that Ava was waiting for me in the front of the parlor, I stood up quickly and made my way down the hallway. But as soon as I saw the lean figure with the quintessential hand-on-her-hip stance, my heart leapt into my throat.
What the fuck is she doing here?
“You look surprised to see me,” she gave me a mischievous grin and sashayed past me down the hallway and into my office as if I had invited her in.
Ignoring the questioning look Zane sent my way and the irritated glances from impatient clients in the waiting room, I stormed back to my office and nearly slammed the door behind me.
“Katherine,” I gritted out forcefully. “What the hell are you doing here? How did you find me in the first place?”
She sat down and crossed her lean legs in the black heels she wore. The old me would have been unable to tear my eyes away from the smooth spans of skin revealed in the short skirt she wore. I would have been more than turned on by her stubborn and catty attitude; the way she had walked in as if she owned the joint would have made me eager to fuck the shit out of her- tame her. But I had already gotten a taste of what was behind her façade and was unmoved by her mask of superiority and disgusted by the stench of privilege she waltzed in with.
Katherine rolled her eyes and pretended to be more concerned about her manicure than my questions. The quintessential frown of disgust was on her face as she looked around my messy office. I live in an organized chaos so don't go judging me.
“You did name your place Thor’s Edge Tattoos or did you just happen to forget that first bit?”
Ugh, fuck her.
“What the hell do you want? I can’t imagine why you even took the time to come here. After what you did, we have shit to say to one another. In fact, I’d be happy if I never saw your fucking face again.” No filter people. She doesn’t deserve one.
Katherine looked up at me then. And did what could only make me even more angry- she smiled.
“I apologized to you about that. What more do you want from me, Thor?”
Is she serious? I took a threatening stepped toward her. Now, please know that I’ve never hit a woman before in my life, and I never will. But around her, I’m becoming a man I do not recognize. She better watch what she says next because I don’t know how I’ll react. My fists were clenched at my sides, and I was doing everything I could to control my quickened breath. Everything that I felt that day was flooding back like a lost memory. I felt like I was reliving it, and what was worse…I never got a chance to be angry, to yell and scream at the world for the humiliation and injustice. Instead, I had returned to Boston, determined to prove her wrong. And here she sat mocking me.
Katherine stood up with a raised brow at my obvious irritation. “Listen, I didn’t come here to anger you-”
“Too fucking late.”
“In truth, I’m happy you’re reacting the way that you are because it means that you still care…like I do.”
My eyes narrowed in disbelief. Wait, was I hearing her correctly? This has got to be some sort of joke. Where the hell is Ashton Kutcher when you need him? Ha, it would serve me right to be on Punk’d wouldn’t it?
“Well if that isn’t the funniest shit I’ve heard all week. Who paid you to say this bullshit? Your daddy?” I gave her an evil smirk, knowing what a sore spot her father was to her. And she reacted exactly as I had hoped, flinching at the mention of him. But then a mournful look appeared in her eyes and her chin wobbled slightly with emotion. I’m just as shocked as you are. Who knew the hateful bitch was capable of anything beyond smugness and repugnance?
“No, because he’s dead.”
Her statement was like a gavel in a silent courtroom. It wiped away my self-congratulatory remark and replaced it with the slightest amount of shame. No matter how much tension and revulsion had existed between her father and me, or how our relationship had affected theirs, I regretted the barb. I did still grow up with some manners. And rule number one was to never insult the dead. No matter how much of a dickhead they had been while alive. It’s just in poor taste.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” Note, I said I was sorry for her loss. Not that I was sorry he was dead. ‘Cuz I’m not.
“Of course you are,” she replied with her voice dripping in sarcasm. See? There’s never even a point to being a decent human being with this woman. God, what the hell was I thinking years ago? How was I ever attracted to her?
“Just take the fucking condolences and get to your point.”
To my horror, she took several steps in my direction, closing the gap between us. I crossed my arms in front of me to prevent her from getting too close but stood my ground otherwise. If I so much reacted to her nearness, I’m sure with her narcissistic personality, she would see it as a compliment.
“See? I miss how we would fight. It always led to the best sex. Don’t you remember?”
Yes, I remember. I remember waiting. And waiting at the altar…like a fucking idiot!
At my silence, she continued, “My father is gone. So there’s really nothing keeping us away from each other anymore. That’s why I came here. I hate Boston, but I came here for you. Jesus, Thor…I want you back. Tell me you don’t want the same thing.” She reached out a hand and tentatively touched the bare skin of my forearm. I tensed under the light pressure of her fingertips.
“Don’t fucking touch me, Katherine.”
“Kat,” she whispered. “You used to call me Kat. Because of how much my pussy would purr for you.” She took the last step until she was practically pressed up against me. I could feel the heat emanating from her breasts under the thin material of her shirt. But my body didn’t respond.
“It still does,” she said as if I had any doubt that it would.
“Of course it does,” I told her. “Because you’re a traitorous slut. Now get the fuck out of my shop.” My voice was barely above a whisper. I wanted her to know how I was the one in control now. She had no power over me, and I’d be damned before I let her feel that she could so easily have me back. There is no way in hell I’m going down that road again. Because as sexy as she thinks she is, I found a woman that completely blew her out of the water. My woman. Ava.
Katherine looked less than happy with my reply, but the moment of doubt quickly disappeared and in its place was her familiar smug grin.
“You’ll change your mind,” she said assuredly.
“Don’t hold your breath. Then they’ll really be nothing in that head of yours.”
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You’ll see me again, Thor.” And with that promise, she brushed past me to the door. And to my own surprise, I let out a huge rush of air in relief when the door closed behind her. Damn, I guess she has more of an effect on me than I thought.
~~~
“Dude, you need to take a break.”
I lifted my eyes from the screen to find Axel hanging by the opening to my office.
“I can’t afford to take a break. Every time I do, all I can think about is her.”
Axel’s eyes narrowed in consideration of what I had been willing to reveal to him. Woman problems. In all the years we had known each other, there was only one other time I had ever come to him for his advice about women. And she had walked out of the door a few hours ago.
He nodded grimly. “So I’m guessing things didn’t go too well the other night after you took her back to your place?”
“Not in the slightest, and I have no fucking clue as to why. I apologized. What more does she want from me?”
Axel’s eyes narrowed in thought as he looked at me. I found it a bit unnerving the intensity in his gaze. As my close friend for so long, he was capable of seeing past the façade I usually presented to others. He recognized the pain I had been carrying with me after the incident with Katherine even though I had been adamant about easily dismissing it. Anyone else would have seen my devotion to the tattoo parlor as a man driven to succeed. But Axel was somehow able to discern the more imperceptible motivator. Even before I was aware of it myself.
“Can you please tell me why Katherine, your ex-fiancé, was hanging outside our parlor as if she owns the fucking place?”
I was taken aback by his question. What did she have to do with anything?
Sensing my confusion, he raised a hand to placate me. “Just answer the question. There’s a point.”
“To be honest, I don’t believe it myself. She’s been sending my messages all summer. But then I saw her the other day before my fight with Ava, and she showed up again today without any warning. She wanted to apologize…well, not really. More like she’s taking advantage of her father’s death to go slumming again with me.” I couldn’t help the growl that came with the announcement. I was sure her father’s disapproval was the main reasons he had left me, but saying it aloud just made me even angrier. The nerve of the woman!
“Hmm, well…maybe your interaction with Katherine could help you see why your apology didn’t work. Now, mind you, I don’t know what the fuck you said or did to ruin whatever the hell was developing between you and Ava. But what I do know is that our apologies are usually not as clear and genuine as we think they are. Take for instance, Katherine. To her, an apology was probably implied within her coming here and having the nerve to show her face despite everything that she did. But that's obviously not what got across to you. Either that or she really is as self-deluded and narcissistic as you claimed she was.”
He shrugged and looked away for a moment. “Nevertheless, only like a week ago it was hard for you to even admit your jealousy when Ava was dancing with Mr. Fedora. She probably noticed that hesitation and resistance, which would make anyone doubt your trustworthiness. If I were you, I’d try again. But not before you really come to terms with what exactly it is you want with Ava. In dating and speaking with Evie, I know for a fact that Ava isn’t meant for your usual fuck-buddy arrangement. She’s too special a woman for you to use and then toss aside.”
In listening to him describe her I could only inwardly affirm everything he said. I was remembering every intimate moment we had together, every time I found myself laughing and smiling in her presence. Even the times that she pissed me off had made me feel alive. It was her passion and spirit that had drawn me to her in the first place. Ava is special to me, and she does deserve more than what we’ve been doing.
“And I think that maybe you deserve more than that as well.”
I looked up at him in shock.
Axel laughed slightly but continued despite my look of consternation. “I’m serious. Katherine just walked into your life again, and you’re reacting as if she never left it. You have allowed her to control every interaction you’ve had with women. So, of course she can come in here and tell you she wants you back. You’ve basically been her bitch this entire time.”
“Whoa, what the fuck, man?” I stood up threateningly.
But Axel just ignored me, continuing his rant. “I’ve told you this so many fucking times, but you’ve never listened to me. I’m telling you, you deserve better because it’s obvious to me you’ve been punishing yourself for what happened. And the ironic thing is that you think you’re punishing her. You should really try to make things right with Ava. It’ll help you get over what you’re still hung up on.”
I shook my head, “Ava isn’t some sort of rebound.”
“No, of course she isn’t. But she is the first woman you’ve met that made you forget Katherine.”
It wasn’t a question. Axel spoke with a certainty that rang true for both of us. It’s interesting, isn’t it? How it takes hearing it from someone else for things to finally click in your mind. I had lashed out at Ava that infamous afternoon because of my run-in with Katherine. It brought all my fears back to light, history repeating itself. And that unforgettable feeling of waiting and hoping…ugh, I don’t even want to think about it.
“If you tell anyone I said this, I’ll deny it. But, you’re right, Axel. My relationship with Ava…I want it to be more than what it is. Heck, I’d settle for friendship if it meant she’d finally return my phone calls.”
Axel gave me a doubtful look. Well, maybe friendship is pushing it. There’s no way I could be friends with Ava and not intimidate any man that so much as looked at her wrong.
“Whatever. The point is…my apology wasn’t enough. Just like an apology from Katherine could never be enough. What Ava needs is an explanation, and I never gave that to her. So…thanks, man.”
He gave me a sudden wide grin, his eyes bright with exuberance. “I wish I could see you groveling to the girl that rejected you. Oh, man this is like a dream come true. I can only imagine all the women that would be jumping in their seats at the chance to see Thor the man-whore, tucking in his balls, swallowing his pride, and marching his ass over to beg for forgiveness. Damn, today is a good day!”
You know what, this motherfucker is having way too much fun at my expense right now.
“Asshole, don’t make me send you back to your girl with a black eye and a limp. Try me.”
Unperturbed by my threat, Axel waggled his brows and winked. “It’s been good talking to you. So long dickface!”
Before I could respond, he waltzed out of my office with the same annoying smug grin on his face. Fucker! And of course he would be one of my closest friends. Am I some sort of masochist or some shit?