December 28, last year

 

Not thinking about Etta and what happened earlier was difficult, especially since I currently had a glaring reminder panting loudly in my backseat.  It suddenly struck me as funny that she named her dog something that rhymed with her brother’s name.  I shook it off, wondering what to do now with this beast.  Since my first thought was to call Miles, who didn’t answer his phone, I drove home and stared at the dog in my backseat currently drooling all over my leather. 

“I guess you can come in,” I said to him.  “I’ll try Miles again in a few minutes.”

He bounded out of my car and followed me inside.  I fixed him a bowl of water, which he drained, make that splashed, all over my floor, faster than I thought possible.  I filled it again, realizing that I had no clue how to care for him.  Before I could worry too much about that, my phone rang. 

“Miles, thank God you called me back.  I need to drop off Giles to your house.  Etta left him at the clinic, and I have no clue how to care for him.”

“We’re not home, Nate.  We came to see my grandparents in Marble Falls for the weekend.”

“Is Emily at your house?  Can you call her for me?”

“No.  She went back to L.A. yesterday.” 

“Shit.” I paced back and forth, running my hand over my head, and sighed.  “I guess I have to call your sister then.”

“Yeah, look, Nate.  She has been really sad this last week.  She and Emily sort of made up, but she still wasn’t herself at Christmas.  Mom tried to get her to come with us this weekend, but she refused.”  He paused, clearing his throat.  “I don’t want you to say anything to make her more upset,” he warned, trying to sound threatening. 

Fuck. 

I had to respect the kid for trying to protect his sister, especially from more than 200 miles away.

“I know, kid.  I will try not to upset her.”  I sighed again.  “I just want to return her dog.”

“I’ll call her.”

“No, I’ll do it.  Thanks, Miles.  Have fun.”

“You’re funny.  Fun in old people land where it smells like lavender and farts.”

I chuckled.  “Hey, now.  Enjoy them while you can.  Grandparents don’t live forever.”

“Mine will.  My grandmother still teaches hot yoga and will probably live to be a hundred and fifty.”

I chuckled.  “Bye, Miles.”

I set my phone down, trying to decide what to do.  I looked at Giles, who stood and danced around me.  I took that as a sign that he needed to go outside.  I picked up my phone and headed out the back with him.  After scrolling through my contacts, my thumb hovered over her number, debating whether to hit the call button or chicken out with a text.  Chickening out won.

Giles is at my house.  I’m going to take a shower, then I’ll bring him to you.

I hit send and set the phone down on the table before I could think too much about the contents of the message.  I sat in the chair while Giles ran around the yard, marking every inch with his leg lifted.  I watched him explore, seemingly happy to look and sniff around.  He wasn’t searching in vain; he found the perfect spot to poop quite ungracefully, and I sat there watching in grossed out fascination.  Why, I’m not sure.  He bounded over to me, wagging every inch of his body.

“Am I supposed to reward you for defiling my yard?”  He plopped his front paws in my lap in answer, so I scratched his belly.  “That was disgusting.”  Giles drug his tongue up the side of my face.  “And that was gross, too.”

My phone vibrated on the table.  I lifted the dog off of me, stood and grabbed the phone, not looking at the message just yet.  I led Giles back inside, unsure what to do with him while I showered. 

Giles took off for the door leading to the garage, knocking Jacob back, pinning him to the door. 

“Well, hello, Giles,” Jake crooned in a ridiculous tone, rubbing the dog’s ears.  “How did you get here?”

“Etta left him at the clinic, so I brought him home,” I explained.  “I’m going to take a shower and take him to Etta’s before heading to Mom’s.” 

“Are y’all…?”

“No,” I shook my head.  “Not at all.”

That reminded me that I hadn’t checked the message on my phone.  I peaked at it, seeing a one word answer as a response. 

Ok.

That was it.  That’s all she said.  Two friggin letters.  I’m not quite sure why that bothered me so much, but it did.

“What’s wrong?” Jake asked, genuine concern in his voice. 

I shook my head.  “Nothing.  Will you keep an eye on him while I jump in the shower?”

Jake brought his face to the nose of Giles, earning him a lick in the mouth, which made him sputter.  “Oh, gross, but sure, if you hurry.  I’m supposed to pick up Ashley at her place in thirty minutes.”

I hurried to my room yelling, “Okay, but you might wanna brush your teeth before you see her.”

I showered quickly and wrapped the towel around my waist, put on deodorant and dropped the towel to put ointment on my tattoo.  I searched for the tube but remembered I left the ointment on my bedside table last night.  Opening the bathroom door, I felt the charge in the air.  I peeked around the corner into my room and saw her standing at the end of my bed, staring at me with wide eyes. 

I ducked back in the bathroom, wrapping my towel around me. 

“Etta, would you mind waiting in the living room until I get dressed?” I called from the bathroom. 

“I’ve seen you in a towel before, Nathaniel,” she said from the doorway.  She charged toward me.  “This can’t wait.”  She jumped at me, grabbing the back of my neck, so that I had no choice but to catch her.  She wrapped her legs in a vice grip around my waist so that we were eye to eye.  I stumbled back to the counter, turning her around to set her on it.  “Oh, shit, I keep forgetting about your knee!  Are you okay?”

I shifted my weight to make sure.  “Yeah.” 

Her face became serious, pinning me with her stormy grey eyes.  “I need you to hear me out, and this was the only way I could be sure to get your attention.”

“Well, you definitely have it,” I snapped.  “What couldn’t wait until I was dressed?”

“I was stupid, Nathaniel.  All these years, I have been a fool.”

“That’s not news, Etta.”

She put her hand over my mouth.  “Shut up and let me finish.  If you remember, I told you about my first crush?”  I nodded.  “Well, I didn’t tell you the entire truth.  He wasn’t just my first crush.  I fell for him, hard.  I thought I loved him.  No, I did love him.  And he told me he loved me.  Then, when he kicked me to the curb, he really warped my view of love.  He swindled me, actually fucking swindled me, like a true con artist, into giving him something I thought was precious, not just my body, but my heart.  He knew the only way I’d sleep with him is if I fell in love with him, so he made it happen.  He never loved me.  It was just a game to him.  I was devastated, so I vowed to not let that happen ever again.  I locked up my heart.  Tight.  I also vowed to stay away from cocky athletes. 

“Then I met you.  Honestly, Nathaniel, I knew you were nothing like him, and the first time we met, I let my guard down.  After that, though, I kept you at arm’s length because of him.  We were friends, sure, but I thought you were just a cocky, horny guy after what every other guy wanted.  I didn’t let myself pay attention to the genuine feelings backing up the physical reactions you had to me.  I knew you cared about me, but I couldn’t believe you actually loved me.”  She dropped her eyes.  “I know now how wrong I was. 

“So, the night before you left, I got angry when you tried to tell me how you felt.  I thought you were just doing it to get me into bed, a last ditch effort before you left.  It’s what had been done before, and I truly knew in the back of my mind that you would never do that to me, but I still ran away from you that night because of him.  Then Beth convinced me that you did have feelings for me.  She said Chris told her that you told him that you loved me.  She told me that you planned to ask me to be yours.”  She closed her eyes and whispered, “I really wanted to finally be yours.”  She opened her sad eyes to meet mine.  “So I came to find you.

“Then I walked into our apartment to my sister loudly fucking someone who looked and sounded like you.”  She winced.  “If you remember, I didn’t see Jake out with us that night, so I didn’t even consider that it could be him.  It was dark, and I still had a hard time believing that you actually could love me.  And I forgot to mention that one of the girls Kyle, the douche bag who took my virginity, slept with was my sister.  When she found out he did the same thing to both of us, she got mad at me.”  She closed her eyes, furrowing her brow at the memory.  It still made her angry.  “At me!  Said I stole him away from her on purpose and that someday she would return the favor, that she would wait until I fell in love with a guy and sleep with him.  Apparently, she fell for his lies, too.”  Her face softened.  “She later apologized.  She said she knew it was all him, that I was his innocent victim like she was, but she just took it out on me because I was easier to scream at than he was.  However, I never forgot what she said.  She hurt me more than Kyle did.  I mean I forgave her and had put it in the back of my mind… until that night.”  She swallowed.  “I thought seducing you was her revenge.”

She wiped the tears from her face.  “Oh, God!  I hated you both for so long.  To find out now that the last eight years have been based on a mistake?  You have every right to hate me.  I deserve it.  But you also deserve to know the truth.”  She looked down, placing her forehead against mine. 

I brought my hands up to her face to wipe her tears away with my thumbs, tilting her head back until her eyes met mine.  “And what is the truth, Etta?”

She searched my face, studying it as if she was committing it to memory.  “The truth is that I love you, Nathaniel James Slaughter.”  The corners of her mouth curved upward slightly.  “I have since the first night you saved me.”  Her eyes filled with tears again.  “And I’m so sorry…”

I interrupted her apology by pressing my lips gently against hers, brushing against hers slowly.  My lips caressed hers, memorizing their feel, their softness.  It was the first time our lips had met, and I wanted to remember it. 

She sighed and sank into me, and a quiet sound, something between a whine and a grunt, escaped the back of her throat.  Her hands slid from holding on to my shoulders up to the back of my neck into my hair.  The kiss never deepened.  It was slow, reverent, and sweetly intense.

It was our first kiss, and to me, it was perfect.  This… this was the best moment of my life.  I pulled back to look at her eyes, hints of blueish-green returning.  “Say it again,” I demanded softly. 

I captured the single tear on her cheek with my thumb.  “I love you.”  Her expression exuded truth behind the words.

My lips seized hers instantly.  I lifted her off the counter and carefully carried her to my bed, never breaking contact with her mouth.  I sat down on the edge, her straddling my lap, careful not to put her on top of my hardness, and captured her face in my hands. 

“I love you, too, Etta.”  A sob bubbled out of her lips against mine.  I pulled back and lifted her face to meet my eyes.  “No, no more sadness now.  No more crying, no more apologies.”  I kissed her gently, and she gave into it.  I felt the urgency growing from her as she deepened the kiss, opening her mouth slightly, totally connecting her mouth with mine. 

I slowed the kiss down, pulling back and looking in her eyes.  “I need you to understand that if we do this, there is no going back.  I won’t be able to walk away and let you go.”  I kissed each side of her mouth.  “I want you to be my forever, Etta.  Do you understand?”

Her eyes became dark, the same dilated eyes that looked at me three times before.  Her hands traveled up my neck to the back of my head.  She grasped my hair, pulling gently and crushed her lips against mine, sucking my bottom lip into her mouth and running her tongue from one side to the other.  I forcefully pulled her hips toward me, so that her core was directly over me; only my towel and her sweat pants separated us from becoming joined.  I felt her heat as she ground herself against me, creating almost perfect friction.  Her tongue begged for access to my mouth, which I readily granted.  The soft groan she made was almost my undoing.  I had to slow this down.  I pulled back.

“No, Nathaniel,” she whimpered.  “Don’t stop.”  She kissed me again, engaging my tongue with hers again.  As our tongues danced, she ran her hands down my back, grabbing desperately at me.  She moved her hands to my shoulders and pushed back, looking me seductively in the eyes.   “I need to see you, now.”  She untangled her legs from my waist, stood up and pulled me to standing, ripping the towel from my waist.  Her eyes widened and she licked her swollen lips as she looked at my naked body, slowly drinking in every inch.  “Damn,” she muttered, running her hand across my tattoo from my shoulder, down my chest to my hip, fingertips grazing the tip of my cock slightly, lighting the fire everywhere her fingers touched.  “You’re perfect.” 

“My turn,” I demanded.  I grabbed the bottom of her sweatshirt, lifting it over her head.  I was greeted by a red and black lace bra covering her perfect breasts.  I watched her breathing increase as my eyes consumed her.  My hands started at the base of her neck, tracing her collar bones to her shoulders, down to the sides of her breasts.  My thumbs grazed over her nipples, which hardened further under the lace.  I reached around to her back, unfastening the hooks.  I slowly pulled the straps down her shoulders, finally letting it fall to the floor.  I sank down on the edge of the bed and stared at her beautifully naked torso, afraid to touch her, feeling that if I did, she would stop me. 

“Oh my God, Nathaniel, touch me,” she begged, grabbing my hands and placing them on her breasts.  She arched her back, pushing them further into my palms.  I massaged them, rolling each nipple between my thumbs and forefingers.  I pulled her toward me, capturing one perfectly taught nipple in my mouth, scraping across it with my teeth, causing her to cry out. 

My hands traveled down her waist to the top of her sweat pants and my mouth continued its feast on her breasts.  I yanked her pants down, revealing the matching red and black panties.  My hands cupped her perfect ass, pulling her closer to me.  I trailed kisses from her left breast to the center of her chest down to her belly button.  My tongue circled around it, and my fingers wrapped around the sides of her panties, tugging them down slowly.  Her hands gripped my hair again, holding me to her skin, gently pushing me downward.  My knee injury prevented me from following her direction, so I kept my eyes closed and kissed her just below her belly button before standing straight up.  I pushed her gently back on the bed so she could sit on the edge while I removed her sweats and panties the rest of the way.  As I stood up, I scooted her up the bed, laid her back and hovered over her.  I kissed her mouth softly, never closing my eyes.  My knee gently nudged her legs open, and I guided my tip to her, teasing around her swollen flesh gently.

“You’re so wet, Etta.” 

“You always make me wet, Nathaniel.”

She felt so good.  Too good.  It never felt this good.  It dawned on me why.

Fuck. 

I rolled off her quickly before I could plunge deep inside her.  “Shit, Etta.  I don’t have a condom.”  I put my hands over my face.  “I’ve never done this without a condom.”

She rolled over on top of me, placing her knees on either side of my hips.  “Me neither, but it’s okay.  We don’t need anything between us.  I’m covered.”  She grabbed my shaft and guided it to her opening.  “I’m clean, and I’ve always been safe, too.   I want to feel you – all of you.”  She sunk down on me, taking most of me in one stroke.  Tight and warm and perfect, I threw my head back against the pillow, not believing I was finally feeling heaven around me.  She grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes.  “I love you, Nathaniel.”  Her mouth caught mine before I could reply.  The scent I’d loved for so long settled around me, becoming part of me.  She kissed me gently for a few seconds before she started to move slowly against me, my hips matching her movements.  We kept this slow pace, kissing tenderly, getting the feel for each other for the first time.  Learning each other’s bodies’ perfect rhythm.  I was having a hard time believing it was real.

“You feel incredible,” I whispered against her mouth. 

She moved her hips up astonishingly slowly until I was almost out of her completely.  She slammed herself back down and tightened around me.  “How did that feel?”

“Fuck,” I grunted. 

She grinned, bit her lip and did it again, gasping when I pushed against her so that she slammed against me harder. 

She arched her back, leaving me access to her breasts.  I sat up, capturing her nipple, sucking it into my mouth hard.  She grabbed the back of my head, anchoring me to her chest.  My girl liked a tad hard and rough.  Damn, she just got even more perfect. 

And she was finally my girl.

I grabbed her hips and lifted her forcefully, slamming her down on me repeatedly.

“You like that, Etta?  You like it hard?” 

“Yesssss,” she hissed.

“You like my cock hitting you deep?”  I watched her face writhe in ecstasy as she tightened around me, knowing she would come soon. 

“Oh, my God, Nathaniel,” she roared.  “I’m going to… come!  Now!”  She grunted as she came around me, her muscles flexing, begging me to follow. 

Watching her come was the second best moment of my life, knowing I made it happen.  I followed her over the edge, and it felt so much better than it ever had before.  I knew it was because this time, it was for her.

“Holy shit!” she said between gasping breaths.  “That was…”

“Fucking intense,” I finished her sentence for her.

“Perfect, Nathaniel.”  She sighed.  “It was perfect.”

She collapsed against me, and I wrapped my arms around her protectively, holding her close, afraid to let go.  We sat like that for a while.

“I love you, Etta.”  I pulled her hair back from her face and looked in her eyes.  “You believe that now, right?”

Her voice sounded so small when she answered.  “Yes.”

“Good, because I’m not letting you go.”  I kissed her senseless, complete with tongues and teeth scraping.  “Ever!”  I lifted her off me.  She let out a whimper at the loss of me inside her.  “Don’t worry, Eddie.”  I smiled.  “We’re not near finished.”  I laid her down and retrieved my towel off the floor so we could both clean up a little.  I tossed the towel aside and let my eyes feast on the naked perfection lying in front of me.  “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” 

I reached down, trailing my fingertips slowly across every surface of her skin I could.  I wanted to memorize her flesh, the way it felt, the way it tasted.  I laid down on top of her so I could do just that.

I kissed my way down her jaw to her shoulder, moving my tongue from her shoulder, back to her neck and down to her breast.  I wrapped my mouth around her nipple again, reaching for the other breast to roll her other nipple between my fingers, pinching and tugging not-too gently.  She threw her head back, spurring me on further.  I reached down with my other hand to her open her legs wide.  I sat up and looked at her spread open.  Fucking amazing.

She glistened, wet again for me.  I reached out with one finger and circled it around her swollen lips.  She gasped again, and I found it was one of my favorite sounds from her. 

“I can’t wait to taste you again.” 

Her brows furrowed in confusion.  “Again?”

“That night,” I explained, grabbing her hand.  “The night I touched you.  You brought your hand to my mouth and let me taste you.”  I ran her finger along my mouth, running my tongue gently along her fingertip.  “Remember?” 

Her eyes flew open.  “I thought that was part of the dream.”

I smiled guiltily.  “No, that was real.  And it drove me crazy.”  I leaned down and ran my tongue from her opening to her swollen clit, causing her to squirm.  “Fucking heaven.”  I settled there, circling with my tongue.  I pulled back to watch my finger slide into her, causing her to moan softly.  “Tell me before you come,” I said, resuming my tasting.

“Why?” she asked huskily.

I locked eyes with her.  “Because I want to be inside you when you do.”  She closed her eyes and rolled her hips against my hand.  She opened her legs wider, and I moved my tongue faster against her.  Another finger joined my first, and the noises she made were exquisite, every one causing my cock to twitch in response.  I rolled on my side and wrapped my free hand around myself, stroking slowly in response to her motions and noises. 

I looked up at her and noticed she was watching me, and it turned me on so much more.  I could feel her tightening, so she didn’t have to tell me her end was approaching.  I kept my fingers inside her until I could replace them with my shaft.  I quickly moved up her body and slid into her slowly, allowing her a second to get used to me before pulling completely out and slamming into her again.  She wrapped her legs around me, allowing me to sink in deeper.

“Come for me.  I want to watch you.”

Two more strokes and she was there, pulsing gloriously around me, moaning and grunting.  I kept up my assault, drawing out every ounce of her orgasm I could.  It was not much longer before I came again, more intensely than the first time.  I didn’t even know I could come twice.  Before I stopped my thrusting, I felt her explode around me again. 

After we both caught our breath, I pulled out of her slowly, rolled onto my back and pulled her to my left side – her side.  She draped her arm over my chest and threw her left leg over mine.  We fit beautifully together.

“So, you like to watch, huh?” she asked teasingly. 

I kissed the top of her head.  “Yeah, I like to watch you.”

She looked up at me and smiled.  “Maybe I’ll have to arrange a show for you later.”

“That would be awesome, but I like watching you when I know I made you come.”

She lifted herself on her elbow and looked me in the eyes.  “I’ll let you in on a little secret, Nathaniel.”  She kissed my shoulder, right above the E of my tattoo.  “Every single time I have ever come since I met you,” she kissed the right side of the E, “it’s been because of you.”  She kissed the left side of it.  “Your face, your body, your touch.  Fantasies of what I would do with you, which were nothing compared to what just happened, by the way.” 

“I thought you never wanted me.”

She grabbed my face with both hands.  “You.  Were.  Wrong.”  She laid her head back on my chest.  My hand traced lazy circles around her back.  “I always wanted you, I just never let myself have you.”

“We were both pretty stupid, weren’t we, Etta?”

I felt her smile against my chest while her fingers traced the tattoo down my side.  “I need to show you something.  I’m kind of surprised you didn’t see it already.”  She sat up and rolled over to her other side.  “But you were a little preoccupied, I guess.”  She took my hand and placed it on her hip.  “You are the first person I ever showed.” 

I leaned down to her hip, moving my hand.  Small scrolling vines adorned her skin, just below her right hip bone.  They were slightly faded, indicating they had been there for a while.

“Can you tell what it is?”

I traced the vines with my middle finger, noting they were letters –  initials.

Holy shit!  They were my initials!

“When?” I choked out. 

“The night before you told me you got the call.” 

My mouth dropped open, understanding spreading throughout my mind.  “So you were going to…”

“Yes, Nathaniel.”  She ran her fingers through my hair.  “Now you understand my reaction to the news of your leaving.”

“It does make a whole lot more sense now.”  I traced the vines again.  “No one has seen it?  How?”

She swallowed.  “I haven’t been with many men since you left, Nathaniel.  I made sure none of them saw it because this,” she pointed to her hip, “is personal.  It was for you.”

I ignored the stab in my chest at her admission that she had been with other men.  I had no right to be jealous, and I certainly didn’t want to admit to the modest-but-still-not-acceptable number of women I bedded, so I asked, “Why didn’t you cover it up or change it?”

She grabbed my hand and pulled me up so that I was laying on top of her.  “Because I still loved you.  And no matter what I thought you did, my heart still belonged to you.”  She smiled shyly.  “You own me, too.” 

I smiled back.  “You were awake that night?” 

“Yes,” she answered.  “And we would have been together that night if you hadn’t stormed off to your room.  My biggest regret is that I didn’t follow you.  That night is what really convinced me I was ready to tell you.  I began to think we could be more and that you may feel the same way I did.  I just wish it didn’t take me so long to get the courage to tell you.  I almost told you anyway, but I was afraid that if I did, you would reject me, or worse, agree to stay for me and give up your dream.  I couldn’t do that to you.” 

“Baseball wasn’t my only dream, Etta.”  Her eyes widened, and I ran my fingertips down the side of her face.  “And this one is way more important than baseball.”

She grabbed the back of my head, sealing my lips with hers.  “I love you, Nathaniel, so much.”

“I love you, too.”

I entered her for the third, but not final, time that day.

And we didn’t make it to Mom’s for dinner.