January 14, this year

 

 

Etta and I both got in the car and stared out the windshield.  Neither of us spoke for about two minutes.

“Welp, that happened,” she said, the first to break the silence.

“Yep,” I agreed.

I started the car and backed out of the space.  “We just need to focus on the other things that happened today, Etta.”

She snorted, “Nothing… nothing will ever erase the sight I just saw, Nathaniel.  NOTHING!”

I chuckled.  She shot me a glare.

“Do. Not. Laugh.”  I tried, really tried to hold it in, but I couldn’t.  I laughed out loud.  “Stop it, Nathaniel!”  It was one of those moments where the more I tried to stop, the harder I laughed.  “There is nothing funny about this!”

Since my eyes were blurry with tears, I had to pull over.  I wiped my eyes and turned toward Etta, who was still glaring at me. 

“Oh, c’mon, Eddie,” I crooned.  “You have to laugh about it.  It’s all in how you look at it.”

“You did not just catch your parents en flagrante dilecto at your sister’s wedding, Nate.  If you did, I bet you wouldn’t be laughing.” 

“They weren’t naked, Etta…”

“My mom’s boob was exposed!”

“But your dad’s head was blocking it.”

“And my dad had his hand… and my mom’s hand was…” she shuddered.  “The image is psychologically damaging, Nate.  Seeing it… much less hearing… ugh.  The words coming out of my mother’s mouth…” She closed her eyes and shook her head.

“Jesus, Etta, we really didn’t see much of anything.  Just be glad your parents still get it on.”  I smiled.  “And be glad that Emily called us to get the bag she left and not Miles.”

“Yeah, thank God for that small favor,” she deadpanned.

“I’m surprised they didn’t hear us come in.”

“I’m just really glad the bag was right next to the door.” She relaxed her posture, seeming to finally get that it wasn’t the end of the world.

“Yeah, I’m just glad we didn’t interrupt them.”

“NATHANIEL!” She chortled and swatted my arm.  “EW!”

“What?  Your mom was in the zone.  I would have felt bad for cock blocking her.”

“OH MY GOD! Nate! Do not ever refer to my mother getting cock blocked ever again.” She was fighting a smile.  “I really can’t think of her that way.”

“Well, if you were raised with Tammy, you’d have a different view on parental sex.  As a kid, I walked in on so many inappropriate moments… and when I turned ten and figured out what the noises from their bedroom were, I started wearing headphones.”  Her mouth dropped open.  “Parents are human, Etta.  It’s good to know yours are still sexually active in their fifties.”  I winked at her.  “It gives me hope for our future.”

“Yeah, well, I was raised in a conservative household.  My mom gave us the speech with the mechanics of sex, but she couldn’t even use the proper terminology.  She used words like ‘flower’ and ‘tallywacker’ to describe what she called ‘naughty bits.’  Then her advice was ‘but remember, good girls don’t ever do that sort of thing.’ That was it, so Mom probably thinks Emily and I are still virgins.”  She shuddered again.  “Seeing her like that… it ruins the wholesome image of my mother.”

“Jesus, Etta, you can still think of her as wholesome.”

“Nope.  Now all I can think is that my wholesome mother is really a dirty, dirty slut.”

I bust out laughing.  She stared at me for a moment, but I could tell she was fighting a smile.  She turned away from me, but her shoulders started shaking.  I knew she had joined me in the laughing.

“C’mon, Eddie,” I chuckled.  “Let’s go deliver this bag and tell Emily what we saw.”

“Oh my God,” she wailed.  “Now THAT sounds like a plan!”

 

***

 

While Etta delivered the bag to her sister, I opted to stay in the bar of the hotel for a quick drink.  After all I had been through today, I needed one. 

Etta sidled up to me, placing her head on my shoulder. 

“Are you ready to go home?” I asked her.

“God, yes,” she sighed.  “I’m so ready for this day to be over.”

Etta wanted to drive home since I had a pretty stiff double at the bar.  After buckling our seatbelts, I said, “You know, this wedding was rather eventful.  Walking in on your parents isn’t even in the top ten list of fucked up things I had to deal with today.”

“Really?”  I nodded.  “Hang on, this I gotta hear.”  She adjusted the mirrors, backed out of the space, and pulled onto the street.  “Okay, go.”

“First, someone thought it would be a good idea to give Miles his first cigar when he was hanging out with the groomsmen this morning.” Her eyes got wide.  “Yeah. I had to take care of him when he got sick, which he almost did on my shoes, and I had to hide him from both Emily and your mother while he recovered.”

“He’s only thirteen!  I’m gonna kill him and whoever gave it to him.”

“Trust me, he was punished enough.  He learned his lesson.  Miles didn’t snitch on who it was that gave it to him, and no one fessed up.  Tater took care of it, though.” 

She narrowed her eyes.  “Okay, I guess.”

“Next, a woman fainted at my feet.  It scared the crap out of me, until she came to and admitted she did it because she realized that Riley Tate would be escorting her down the aisle.”

Etta hid her smile.  “That must have been rough.”

“It was.  But since I kept giving him shit about that woman fainting, Riley encouraged me to usher Vanessa’s eighty-year-old grandmother, who promptly groped my ass in a church full of people.”

Etta gasped and covered her mouth.  “Oh, Nathaniel, that’s fucking hilarious.”

“Sexual harassment is no joke, Etta.  Someone needs to tell her she can’t go around grabbing asses.”

Etta rolled her eyes.  “Yeah, okay, but you had to be flattered.”

 “Hang on, it gets better.  She told Riley in front of everyone in the church that my ass is tighter than his.”

She giggled.  “That was nice of her.”

I grinned.  “Yeah, that was cool.” She giggled again.  “Then I had to separate Brody and Kaelyn, which is why you ended up walking down the aisle with Brody instead of Miles.  I think Kaelyn was about to throat punch him before I stepped in between them.  Seriously, Etta, you need to talk to him, better yet, ask him over for dinner, so we can get the story about the two of them.”

She nodded.  “Yep, I’ll call him Monday.”

“Good, because after watching them the other night and all day today, I gotta know the story.” I smiled.  “Next, Dugger…”

“Is that Tater’s best man?”

“Yes, and let me tell you, he comes by the nickname honestly.  I’m wondering if he has something wrong with him.”  She raised her eyebrows in question.  “Babe, you don’t want to know.  Just be glad he didn’t prove why he got the name during the ceremony.  Anyway, he forgot the ring in the groom’s room, so he asked me to hurry and get it for him.  When I turned the wrong corner, I caught the photographer’s head up the skirt of the wedding planner.”

“But they’re both…”

“Yep, I got to witness a little girl-on-girl action, live and in color.” 

“I was going to say married… to men.” 

“Nothing like a little switch-hittin’ cheating going on in the house of the Lord, huh?”

“I’m quite sure that’s a pretty big no no.  And I’m not sure how I feel about you watching that.” 

I laughed at her narrowed eyes.  “Relax, I didn’t see any good stuff.  And I didn’t stick around to watch, either.  I mean, I might have under totally different circumstances, but I was on a mission.” 

“Man, this day was just filled with surprise sexual encounters.”

I laughed.  “And I’m not even done.”

“Holy shit, Nathaniel.  There’s more?”

“Two unknown guests were having sex in the bathroom stall when I got to the reception.  I didn’t stick around to find out who they were.  First of all, sex in the men’s bathroom stall is just gross, and secondly, they were too loud to ignore.  They scared my pee away.”

“Nathaniel!”

“Then, I’m fairly certain I heard the tail end of Emily and Tater doing something naughty when you sent me to find them for the bouquet and garter toss.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Well, that doesn’t surprise me.  They seemed a bit rumpled when they came into the ballroom for the tossings.”

“And then, I saw Dugger and Kaelyn kissing, most definitely for Brody’s benefit.  I certainly hope that was all they did, because after what I saw Dugger doing,” I shuddered, “I’m pretty sure no girl needs to be anywhere around his cock.”

“Gross.”

“Then I had to get ice for Brody’s hand because he punched the wall in the hallway.”

“Damn, Nate.  Where was I during all of this?”

“You were mingling between dancing with everyone.  After our one dance, you insisted I sit out, remember?  Well, I didn’t exactly sit out.  I had to keep everyone chilled out.”

She smiled.  “Since I didn’t notice any of this, I’d say you did a good job.”

“You’re telling me.  Then we caught your parents, and I think a man at the hotel bar had his hand up the skirt of the woman next to him.  I’m not quite sure about that one because you arrived before I could really tell.”

“Jeez, you’re a perv.”

“Hey, I’m not a perv, but I do seem to have witnessed a lot of pervy acts today.  There must be some weird planet alignment.”

After we pulled into Etta’s garage, she turned off the car and faced me.  “All this conversation is doing is making me not want to ever have a wedding.”

Well shit.  Plans… meet wrench.

We got out of the car, and I decided to follow through with my plan anyway.

“Etta, can you let Giles out?  I really need to go to the bathroom.”

“Yeah, I’m on it.”  She kissed me on the lips quickly. 

I patted her on the ass.  “Don’t let him talk you into throwing the ball for twenty minutes.  You need to tell him you’re tired.”

She saluted me and opened the door leading into the house.

I knew full well that dog would not take no for an answer, and I knew she would give in… which was good, because I had work to do. 

 

***

 

Jake and Ashley helped me.  Etta thought they were coming over to feed Giles since we were away most of the day, but they were really there to prepare most of the surprise to my specs perfectly, well, and feed the dog, too.

I needed time to check their handiwork.  Rose petals plotted the floor to line the trail she would take from one station to the next.  Candles, ones I had to light, illuminated her path.  Each one of the notes I wrote to her eight years ago were evenly spaced.  Then I had to hide when she entered.

I couldn’t see her face, and I hated it.  I could only see her stoop to pick up each note.  The only part of my plan that I hated was that I couldn’t watch her as she discovered her surprises.  But I would see her any second.

She rounded the corner and locked her watery eyes on me.  I stood in the center of her living room, a single rose in my hand.

“You kept these?” She held up the notes in her hand.  “All these years?”

I smiled and hit play on the remote for the music.  “Yes, and you never opened the last one.” 

Etta James’ “At Last” rang out through the speakers as I reached out my hand containing the twelfth and final note.

I watched a tear trail down her cheek and her lips tipped up in the corners.

“What, you aren’t going to sing this time?”

I felt my face flush.  “Yeah, that hasn’t really worked out for me in the past.  I’ll leave it to your namesake.  I’m trying to right my wrongs tonight.”

She smiled bigger and took the note from my hand.

Note twelve:  For accepting my heart and never letting it go.

When I heard her gasp, I reached in my pocket and kneeled down on the floor.  Shit, I was nervous.  I hoped I could do the next part without screwing up.

“I was going to give you this eight years ago.”  I opened the box and the hinges loudly creaked.  “It was supposed to be a promise.  A promise that included commitment to each other.”  My throat felt like it was closing up, so I had to clear it.  “I wanted it to be a promise of forever.”

  I watched her looking at the tiny little ring, the only thing my twenty-two-year-old self could afford, with wonder.  It was white gold with tiny little diamonds that formed a small heart.  When her eyes, flooded with tears, returned to mine, I continued.

“Etta, I am sorry for what happened between us… for every mistake I made, for waiting so long to tell you how I felt.  I was young and stupid and so in love with you and so scared of losing you.  It seems like every choice I made back then was wrong.  I waited because I was scared you would turn me down.  That led me to forcing something that should have taken a bit of finesse.  Hell, maybe I’m forcing this now, but please know that isn’t my intention.  I don’t want you to feel rushed or pressured. I just want you to know that although you might not have accepted my heart back then, I’ve kept it safe for you.  It’s always belonged to you.  

“This doesn’t have to be anything but a promise of forever.  That’s all I need from you.  That’s all I ever wanted from you.  Forever.  We’ll take it day by day and follow whatever path you set for us.  I know you’re a go-slow kind of girl, so I’ll let you set the pace, but I just need this promise…”

“Ask me.”

I looked into her eyes, her stormy greenish-blue eyes, stunned… not sure she said what I thought I heard.  “Wha…”

“I said ask me, Nathaniel.”

“You want me to…?”

She smiled and kneeled down on the floor with me.  “Yes.  Very much so.”

I closed the box.  “No.  I need to get a different ring for that.”

“No you don’t.  I want that one.”  She grabbed the box, opened it, and lifted the ring out of it.  “It’s so perfect.  Here,” she said, extending the ring toward me.  “Please, put it on me, Nathaniel.  Ask me.”

I grabbed her left hand, noticing for the first time how much my hand was shaking. 

Etta ran her fingertips down the side of my face and whispered, “Just take a deep breath, Nate, and say the words.” 

I breathed in and held it for a second.  On the exhale, I looked into her beautiful, ethereal eyes. 

“Etta Fontella Sullivan, will you fulfill my greatest dream and marry me?”

“Yes,” she sobbed and nodded, “yes, I will.”

I slid the ring onto her finger, thankful it fit, which was a good thing since it would stay there.

Forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading.  If you liked Batter Up, please consider leaving a review on both Goodreads and Amazon.

 

Look for One Up, the story of Kaelyn and Brody, to be released next summer.

 

Stay tuned to the for bonus content:  the first chapter of Riled Up, my first novel.