Staring down at the nightmarish white stick, I felt bile once again rise in my throat. “No, please no,” I moaned. I gripped the sides of the marble bathroom counter to keep me from sinking to the floor. With my erratic cycles, I hadn’t been on heightened alert when my period was a week or two late. But when I started creeping into the three and a half week mark, I began to panic, which caused me to swing by Walgreens on the way home from work to buy two pregnancy tests.
I was now holding positive test number two in my hand. Part of me wanted to go back to the store to see if the third test would be the charm and somehow I wouldn’t be pregnant. How the hell was this possible? Just remembering how AJ and I used a condom each and every time we had sex caused a reel of erotic images of our sexcapdes to run through my mind. A flush filled my cheeks as warmth flooded my core. But then, one of those images sent me racing forward to the toilet and heaving up the contents of my stomach.
In the backroom at Eastman’s, we’d been too caught up in the angry, make-up sex to remember a condom. He’d pulled out. Although my medical training taught me that not enough sperm resided in pre-come and the pull-out method was fairly effective, I couldn’t help thinking that had to be the time. “Oh God,” I muttered, placing my hands firmly on the edge of the toilet bowl to steady myself from passing out. Flipping down the lid, I eased down onto the toilet and like so many nights lately, I began to cry.
Just when I thought I had clawed myself out of the greatest emotional hell of my life with Mama Sofia’s death and Dev’s betrayal, I slammed right back down to rock bottom with what happened with AJ. After Abby brought me home, she’d waited with me until Dee could come over—I was that hysterical. I took the next two days off work and made back to back emergency appointments with my therapist.
As much as I hated to admit it, I was pretty surprised AJ tried so hard in the beginning to get me to talk to him with his many phone calls and texts. Even if I wanted to believe it was just a misunderstanding with Kylie like he claimed, I knew it wouldn’t be the last time we were put into that situation. If I took him back, it would only be a matter of time before some other woman from his past, or maybe even the present, came back to haunt us—or more importantly me.
In the end, I wasn’t like Abby and Lily—I’d been through too much heartbreak to be a strong enough woman for a rock star. And while I wanted to hate AJ, I couldn’t. More than anything, I wanted to feel like I was making a sacrifice for him—I cared about him enough to know he deserved someone better, someone who wasn’t emotionally crippled by their past.
The doorbell ringing brought me out of my thoughts. On shaky legs, I followed Jack Sparrow down the hallway. With trembling hands, I threw open the front door. Dee pursed his lips at me before holding up one finger. “Baby girl, this better be hella important because I just left a partially satiated marine in my bed.”
“I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t have called you unless it was a matter of life and death.”
Dee swept his hand to his chest. “Wait, something hasn’t happened to Duke, has it?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.” I chewed my bottom lip, uncertain of how I was going to break the news to him.
He growled in frustration. “Well, for fuck’s sake, Mimi. Spit it out!”
Unable to speak, I thrust the dreaded white stick I was still clutching in his face. His nose wrinkled momentarily in confusion before he realized what it read. His deep brown eyes widened to the size of the salad plates at Mama Sofia’s. “Holy shit, you’re pregnant?”
I’d been holding the waterworks back as long as I could with him. Just hearing Dee say the word ‘pregnant’ caused the dam to burst, and I began sobbing hysterically.
“Hey now, don’t cry. Dee’s here.” He stepped into the foyer and wrapped his arms around me. Although I felt comforted by his gesture, it just made me cry even harder. Dee closed the front door behind us and steered me over to the couch. “Shh, it’s okay, Mimi,” he crooned, rubbing wide circles across my back.
When I’d finally stop sobbing and my breath had started coming in hiccupping little pants, I pulled away to look at Dee. “I’m sorry for calling you away from the hot marine and then going psycho on you.”
He kissed my cheek. “Don’t you dare apologize for either of those things. You’re my best friend in the whole, wide world, Mimi. When you need me, I’m here, no matter what condition you’re in.”
My chin trembled at his words. “Thank you,” I murmured.
“You’re welcome, luvie.” Taking my hand in his, he squeezed it tight. “So you know I gotta ask this next question. Is it…?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course it’s AJ’s.”
Dee held his hands up defensively. “Well, excuse me that I don’t keep a GPS device on your vagina.”
His comment made the corners of my lips quirk up in spite of how awful I felt. “After all these years, you should know that if there’s any action going on in my vagina, you usually know about it.”
With a smirk, he replied, “Normally I would agree with you, but you just fucking blindsided me considering being pregnant is the biggest thing to hit your lady parts ever!”
A snort escaped my lips. “Only you could make jokes at a time like this.”
He grinned. “That’s why you need me.”
“No, that’s why I love you,” I replied, my voice choking off with emotion.
Dee gave me a quick peck on the lips. “I love you more, baby girl.” We sat in silence for a few minutes with the just the sound of Jack Sparrow’s purring and my sniffling echoing through the room. “So….you’re really pregnant?” He exhaled noisily. “What are you going to do about it?”
“You mean am I going to keep it, give it up, or…?”
“Or have an abortion.” He cupped my chin, forcing me to look at him. “You know that you can do that, right?”
“I know I can, but…”
“But what?”
Unconsciously my hand went to rest against my abdomen. “I want this baby.”
“Da fuck did you just say?” Dee asked incredulously.
Overwhelmed by my emotions, I merely bobbed my head. In a way, I was as stunned as Dee was by my admission. When I was younger, I always saw myself married with children. I knew that someday I would want a baby—I just never imagined it would be now.
Dee continued staring open-mouthed at me. “Mimi, you don’t know the first thing about raising a kid.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I snapped, realizing just how quickly pregnancy hormones could have you expressing psycho emotions.
Dee sighed. “Seriously, besides being around your cousins, you’ve never even acted like you cared for children that much.”
“But that doesn’t mean I can’t be a good mother.” At his skeptical expression, I countered, “Have I ever once said I didn’t want to have kids someday?”
“No, but—”
“I’m in a good place in my life to have a baby.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, he countered, “Unmarried and alone?”
I huffed out a frustrated breath. “I meant, I’m twenty-eight, not eighteen. I’ve been to college—I have my masters. I make good money. I can support this kid.”
“I’m not arguing with that, Mimi.”
“Then what?” I knew if I was going to do this baby thing, I wanted and needed Dee’s support.
Dee shrugged. “I dunno. It’s just hard for me to think of you with a kid.”
Staring down at my hands, I thought of the one person who believed I would be a good mother. “Mama Sofia saw me with children.”
“How do you know?”
“She told me a few months before she died that one day I’d be a family matriarch just like she was. That she prayed to the saints to bless me with a family.” My throat burned with the sobs I tried desperately to choke down. The agony of grief once again wrapped me in its death-like vise as the hard realization that the one person I needed more than anything right now was gone.
Dee reached over to cup my cheek. “Is that why you want this baby so much? Because you’re still so emotionally wrecked from Sofia’s death?”
“Thanks for making me sound like a selfish nut-job,” I hissed.
He groaned. “Jesus, if that test hadn’t told me you were pregnant, I’d know it from the crazy mood swings.”
“I’m sorry. Truly, I am. But for whatever reason, I know I want to have this baby, no matter how hard it’s going to be.”
Dee leaned back against the couch cushion, surmising my words. After what felt like a small eternity, he smiled. “Then, I’m happy for you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
With a squeal, I dove over to wrap my arms around his neck. I squeezed him tight. “Thank you, Dee. You make me so, so happy.”
“Ease up, baby girl. I just said I was happy for you, not that I was gonna move in and help you raise the kid. Don’t even think about me changing shitty diapers.”
I laughed. “I don’t care about any of that.”
“Bullshit. You’ll change your tune and be expectin’ me to stay over nights or watch the kid during the day so you can get your beauty sleep.”
Raising my brows, I countered, “And you just might find yourself so in love with my little spawn that you want to spend all of your free time here.”
“Mmm, hmm, we’ll see about that.” But his lips did curve up in a smile like he was enjoying the thought of being around my baby.
“If it’s a boy, I think I’ll name if after you. Derwin Martinelli has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” I teased.
Dee shook his head. “You should be thinking about naming it after its father.” He shot me a pointed look. “And just what about Mr. AJ? Where does he fit into all this?”
The happy little bubble I’d built around myself deflated at the mention of him. Resting my elbows on my knees, I then cradled my head in my hands. “I don’t know.”
“He needs to know, Mimi.”
I peeked at Dee through my fingers. “I’m not sure after leaving him handcuffed to a shower that he’s going to be really glad to see me or want to hear the joyous news that he knocked me up.”
“You won’t know until you talk to him.” When I snorted contemptuously, Dee shook his head. “AJ was a lot of things, but a total uncaring bastard wasn’t one of them.”
Deep down, I knew he was right. AJ had too good a heart to ever be an asshole to me if I was pregnant with his child. My mind flashed back to that weekend at the farm—the way he had interacted with Jude and Melody. He was good with kids, and he would be a good father.
With a resigned sigh, I nodded. “Okay, okay, I’ll get in touch with him.”
“Good,” Dee replied.
“But only after I’m through the first trimester.”
He narrowed his eyes. “And why the fuck should you wait?”
“I’ve got to be six weeks along as it is. It won’t hurt to wait to tell him until I know I’m not going to miscarry. That way I’ll know for sure that everything is okay with the baby before I ruin his life with the news.”
“Or make him the happiest man on earth,” Dee countered.
“Yeah, I’m not going to hold my breath on that one.”
Dee crossed his arms over his chest and huffed out a frustrated breath. “Let’s call this what it really is. You’re afraid of becoming your mother.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re afraid that AJ is going to think you’re trying to trap him into marriage just like your gold-digging mother did with Duke.”
I rolled my eyes. “She may have given birth to me, but she’s never been my mother. That role was Mama Sofia’s.”
“Admit it, Mimi.”
I threw up my hands in surrender. “Fine. Yes, of course I’m worried about that. How can I not be? After ignoring his initial text and calls, I show up after not seeing or talking to him for two months to tell him news that financially, if not emotionally, binds him to me for the rest of our lives?’ Yeah, call me crazy for worrying about that!”
Dee’s eyes widened. “You never told me he tried to call or text you.”
Shit. I had shamelessly kept that little tidbit of information to myself. Mainly because I was a bitch and knew it would make AJ appear more sympathetic to Dee. “Yeah, he did.” At Dee’s epically pissed pursed lips, I sighed. “He never came to see me or sent me flowers or anything. Just a few phone calls and texts. In the end, they didn’t change anything about our situation.”
“If it weren’t for your delicate condition, I would spank you right now for being a withholding little cunt!”
Grimacing, I covered my ears. “You know I hate that word.”
Dee snorted. “Which is exactly why I used it.”
“Testa di cazzo,” I grumbled.
“Hey, truth hurts, baby girl.”
“It doesn’t change anything really,” I repeated, more for myself than for him.
Crossing his arms over his chest, he sighed. “Fine. But let’s get this straight. I’m going to be on your ass constantly about how far along you are. The instant you hit that second trimester mark, you’re going to find out where in the world AJ is, and we’re going there. ASAP. Got it?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
“Good.”
I smiled at his smug expression. “I’m okay now if you need to get back to your marine.”
“Hmm, maybe I could take him some dinner from Mama Sofia’s. On the house?”
I nodded. “It would be my pleasure.”
Dee rose off the couch. “Good. While I call him and see what he wants, you freshen up.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m going down there with you, so you can tell Duke the joyous news.”
My breath hitched at the thought. “You don’t think I—”
“Nope. You only get one ‘Get out of telling a dude I’m pregnant card’ and that goes to Mr. Baby Daddy.”
I laughed. “Fine then. As long as you’re with me.”
“Of course, I am, baby girl.”
Rising off the couch, I kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
When I pulled away, he grinned. “Now that I think about it, Mr. Marine and I are going to need some Tiramisu to go along with dinner—maybe some Mia’s Moose, too.”
“As long as you don’t plan to tell me what you’re going to do sexually with that dessert, I’ll be happy to get it for you.”
With a wink, Dee replied, “My lips are sealed.”