Chapter 27
As determined as I was, I still couldn’t bring myself to call or text Trent. I knew if I was going to find out once and for all what might be between us, then I had to do so when he wasn’t expecting it. Trent was an intelligent and cautious man. I didn’t want to give him the chance to refuse to see me.
On my way to his apartment, the sun had begun to set. I wondered if he would be home. Would he be with someone? Was I wrong in thinking that spark flowed for both of us?
All my insecurities bubbled to the surface, but I did my best to ignore them. They were lies, I knew they were. Even if Trent didn’t share my feelings for him, that didn’t mean I wasn’t worthy or beautiful.
When I pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex, I felt a deep urge to turn around and head back to my condo. It was stupid to just show up, wasn’t it? He might not even be there.
But his car was parked in his usual spot.
I fiddled with my phone for a moment and considered texting him. But I knew if I did, it would only be an excuse for me not to go up to the door. I needed to say what I had to say. I needed to see the truth in his eyes, or I might never believe it.
After a few deep breaths and a reminder that I was indeed confident and amazing, I stepped out of the car. As I approached the door, my heartbeat quickened. I felt a little dizzy. I’d never been so influenced by my emotions before.
I reached up to knock just as the door swung open. I had to step back to prevent Trent from colliding with me as he backed through the door, his arms full of boxes.
“Zoe?” He stumbled some when he saw me. Some of the boxes slid out of the pile and fell to the ground.
“I’m sorry!” I grimaced as I scrambled to pick up the boxes.
“It’s alright, don’t worry.” He smiled as he rested a hand on the curve of my shoulder. “They’re empty. I was just taking them to the dumpster. I got a delivery today.” He cleared his throat as he balanced the boxes in his arms. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I—uh…” I was out of breath as I gathered the boxes and fell into step beside him. I had an entire speech planned out, but now it seemed silly and out of place. “This was a mistake.” I dropped the boxes beside the dumpster designated for recycling. “I shouldn’t have just shown up like this.”
“Hey.” He caught my hand as I started to walk away. “Don’t go.”
My heart lurched as his grasp tightened on my hand. I swallowed hard as I looked back at him.
“You’re busy and I should have called.”
“Don’t worry about the boxes. I’ll take care of them later. Come inside, we can have a drink.” He smiled and continued to grasp my hand.
“You don’t mind?” I searched his eyes.
“Not at all. I can tell you have something on your mind.”
“But you wanted to keep things professional and—”
“Stop.” He squeezed my hand and stepped closer to me. “I never should have said any of that. I apologized, remember?”
“Yes.” I breathed the word as he looked into my eyes, only a few inches from me.
“So come in.” He stepped past me—my hand still in his—and guided me back to his apartment. With each step, I tried to rewrite the speech in my head, but I just couldn’t get it straight. Every time I thought about telling him how I felt, a wave of dizziness washed all the words away.
Once inside, he poured us both a drink. I noticed the walls were still white and the can of silver paint still sat on the counter.
“I thought you hired someone?” I sat down at the table as he handed me a glass of wine.
“I lied.” He sat down beside me and took a sip of his own wine.
“Why?” I turned my attention back to him.
“I was upset.” He licked the wine from his lips, then shifted his gaze to the table. “I wouldn’t want anyone other than you to help me with it.”
“I’d be glad to.” I smiled and leaned a little closer. “But why were you upset?”
“Why?” He laughed and looked up at me, then glanced away again. “Never mind that. Tell me, how are things going with Ben?”
“Ben?” I blinked as it took me a moment to recall who he meant. “Oh, Ben, right. I don’t know, I ended things with him.”
“Really? You seemed pretty hot and heavy when you were dancing.” He looked into my eyes. “You were kissing.”
“I was trying to see if maybe there would be something between us. But there was nothing.”
“So that’s it? The kiss tells you everything?”
“Not everything.” I shifted somewhat in my chair as his gaze became more probing. “But it tells me a lot.”
“Is that why you move so fast?”
“Wow, wait a minute.” I laughed. “I don’t move that fast. But yes, I can tell a lot from a kiss and I just don’t like to waste time waiting.”
“What if it’s worth the wait?” He took a long swallow of his wine. “What if you make an assumption and you’re wrong? I mean, guys get nervous, they get as insecure as women do. What if it’s just a bad kiss?”
“It isn’t the kiss that tells me something.” I twirled the wine glass in my fingers. “It’s being close to him—our skin touching, the way he wraps his arms around me.”
“The electricity?”
“Yes.” I smiled. “That.” My heart pounded so hard that I wondered if he could hear it.
“Is that why you tried to kiss me?” His eyes locked to mine and I felt my cheeks flush with heat.