Chapter 6
That afternoon I felt as if I could accomplish anything.
When I headed back to my condo, I decided that it was time to try my hand at the website again. Trent had explained it to me quite thoroughly. I was certain that I had retained it this time, even with the distraction of his touch and the impact that it had on me. I’d managed to not have a dream about him the night before, so I was feeling pretty confident about my ability to concentrate.
I pulled out my computer, settled at my desk, and logged onto the site. For a moment, my mind went blank. All the confidence that had built up within me fizzled, and my hand even shook as I tried to navigate to the menu.
“This is ridiculous. Of course I can do this. I know how to do it. I remember the steps.” The first thing I clicked on opened the menu. “Yes!” I laughed and wiggled around in my chair—a brief celebration dance. Then I headed into the editor mode.
It was fun to fiddle around with the color scheme and other things. Most of the time I left things as Trent suggested, as he had a really great eye for detail. But after my time spent with Melanie, I wanted to add more color to the site. Lately, I’d been so caught up in the business aspect of my work that I’d forgotten just how much fun could be involved in it too.
I spent a few hours trying out different colors and adding and removing different photographs and backgrounds until I was satisfied with the final outcome. At the end of it all, I was quite proud of all my efforts. I took one more look over it, then shut down the site.
I was really looking forward to a meet-up with my friends the next morning at Common Grounds. I wanted to show off the site and all the changes I’d made—on my own. My friends knew that I considered myself somewhat technologically challenged, so I was sure they’d be impressed.
I spent the rest of the day waiting for Trent to call or text me about the changes.
By the time I headed to bed that night, I still hadn’t heard from him. I was tempted to text him. It wasn’t in my nature to wait for a response. But I wondered if the reason he hadn’t texted was because he didn’t like the changes.
As I switched off my light, I was disturbed by how much I was fixated on Trent’s opinion. My policy for years had been to never care what other people thought. So why had that changed so much for this one particular person?
I tried to ignore the answer my mind provided. I cared what he thought. He wasn’t just another person to me. He was someone whose thoughts, opinions, and approval mattered to me. How did I let that happen?
A glimmer of a past I didn’t like to think about brushed at the back of my mind. I shivered and pulled my blanket closer around me. In that instant—and only for a split-second—all my confidence drained.
After a deep breath, it returned.
When my phone buzzed, I grabbed it, thinking it would be Trent.
“Hello?”
“Hi, beautiful.”
I narrowed my eyes, as I didn’t recognize the voice.
“Who is this?” I sat up in bed and pressed the phone to my ear.
“Ouch, you hurt my feelings.” He chuckled. “It’s Ben. Remember?”
“Ben.” I searched my brain for the name. After a few seconds, the memory of a man I’d met at an event the week before popped up. “Oh, Ben, I’m sorry. I hadn’t heard from you.”
“I like to play hard to get.”
“I see.” I smiled. “And then you like to call after ten?”
“I know, it’s late. I’m sorry. I had to work up the nerve to call you. I’m old-fashioned, texting seems so impersonal.”
“That’s true.” I shrugged. That was what I liked about texting. “I’m glad you called. Do you want to get together?”
“You’re so straightforward, —I like that.”
“I’m tired and I want to go to bed.” I laughed. “So you were brave enough to call; are you going to be brave enough to meet me for dinner tomorrow night at seven?”
“Sure, that’s perfect. I’ll text you the place?”
“Sounds good. Good night, Ben.”
“Good night, Zoe.”
As I hung up the phone I couldn’t help but smile a little brighter. I loved having the opportunity to get to know someone new. Maybe Ben would prove to be the distraction that I needed to get my mind off Trent. Already I’d forgotten to care that he hadn’t texted about the website—at least for a few minutes.
As I drifted off to sleep, I spent my last few waking moments remembering Ben. He’d been well-dressed and handsome, with broad shoulders and a great laugh. That was what made me give him my number. He laughed at himself as he stumbled over asking for it, and his laugh sealed the deal. I looked forward to hearing it again in person.
When I woke the next morning, I was relieved that I hadn’t had a dream about Trent. Maybe Ben was exactly what I needed to get my priorities straight. As I headed off to meet my friends at Common Grounds, I was feeling more confident than ever.
When I arrived, most of them were already gathered around the table. I joined in the conversation.
After a few minutes of general catch-up, the focus shifted to our friend, Dawn—and in particular, her connection with her crush, Garrett. After some teasing and insistence, she confessed that she and Garrett had begun seeing one another officially.
As the conversation steered toward intimacy, Dawn confessed that it was something she was really struggling with. We all offered her our best advice, and after the others had left, I stuck around to be sure she got a clear message about how beautiful she was—about just how sexy she could be.