Chapter Eleven

Nate

“Arms up… There we go…” I wrestled Harriet into her pajamas and told her to go brush her teeth. I kept an eye on her from the doorway as she stood on her little stool at the basin. “Top and bottom teeth, please.”

Kacey came to stand with me as we watched Harriet getting ready for bed. “She’s growing up so fast.”

“She really is. Doesn’t seem that long ago that I was carrying her everywhere and changing diapers.”

“She’s happy.”

“I hope so.”

I really did. I think I’d done all right raising Harriet since Marie died, but every now and then, I wondered whether I always made the right call, or did things the way that Marie would have. Sometimes it was hard to know if I was getting it right, but the most important thing to me was that Harriet grew up happy and healthy. So far, she seemed to be both.

I finished putting Harriet to bed, read her a Fireman Doug story, and kissed her goodnight.

I closed the door quietly behind me and sat with Kacey in the living room. “Took a long time to get her off tonight. I had to read the same story three times.”

“The one with the ducks?”

“It’s her favorite.”

Kacey smiled. “She loves that book because it reminds her of her daddy.”

“A good choice of birthday present from Aunt Kacey.”

“Aunt Kacey is the best.”

“How was work today? That couple bought a house yet? The ones that saw, like, a hundred different places?”

Kacey held up a hand to stop me and quietly seethed. “Don’t even get me started on them.”

“What happened?”

“They decided we ‘weren’t working for them’ and found someone else.”

“What! There can’t be anywhere left to look at!”

“Tell me about it.”

“Waste of time, huh?”

“Huge.” She sighed and stretched out her legs in front of her. “And you? Work okay?”

“Yeah, work’s fine.”

“How are you feeling after what happened last week?”

I had told Kacey about the woman we’d lost on call the week before. She’d been concerned for me, as always. She hated my job and how close to danger it often brought me. She hated how the job could affect me when I had bad days. Kacey was about the only one who could tell when I’d let one of those bad days get to me.

“I’m fine, Kace. We debriefed. Talked about upgrades we could get to the equipment. We’re gonna refresh our training on getting people out of vehicles. Next time we’ll be better, faster.”

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right? When you and the crew talk about how you could have been faster, or the equipment could have been better, I wonder if you all blame yourselves.”

“There’s just no reason for the same tragedy to ever happen twice; that’s what we say. It’s our job to get better at what we do. That extra training might be the difference one day.”

“I know that. I just worry that it’s all a bit intense sometimes. Having to be the hero.”

“You’re one to talk! I bet that support group of yours gets intense sometimes. Aren’t you the one who steps up to be the shoulder for the whole world to cry on?”

“Sometimes those women have nobody else. Some of those women walk away from everything just to get control of their lives again. Simple freedoms you take for granted.” Kacey sighed and looked like she was thinking about something for a moment. When she spoke again, she changed the subject. “Last time I was here, you were telling me about that new preschool teacher’s assistant. How’s that going?”

“What do you mean ‘how’s that going’? I mean, she’s great at her job. Harriet loves her.”

“You know what I mean, Nate. You were interested in her. I could tell.”

“I told you what happened. I hinted I was free that weekend and she didn’t bite.”

Kacey sighed. “I just thought maybe you’d have given it another shot. It really seemed to me like you had a thing for her.”

I turned and gave my sister a suspicious look. Her line of questioning made me wonder if she knew something. My first thoughts went to Carla, the gossip. Maybe she’d said something to Kacey? We were all good friends. Or maybe someone else had said something in this small town where the walls had ears.

“I went over to her place one night. Nothing happened.”

“What do you mean by‘nothing’?”

I mean our clothes were on the floor. “I mean nothing. We talked. Ate dinner. That’s it.”

“So, are you seeing her again?”

“No.”

“Why not? No spark?”

“No, there was definitely a spark.” I sat back. There had been more than a spark. One bottle of wine was all it had taken to have us tearing the clothes off each another and for my body to find its way on top of hers. I could still remember the taste of Jenna’s kisses and the sound of her soft cries when I touched her. I cleared my throat. “At least, there was for me. I don’t think Jenna was feeling it.”

“How could you tell?”

I cast Kacey a patient glance. “Let’s just say that the night ended early.”

Kacey rolled her eyes. “What, so if she doesn’t sleep with you, she can’t be interested? Not all women are like that, Nate.”

“I know that.”

“Then why don’t you try again? Maybe she just wanted to make sure you really liked her before giving away too much.”

“Since when are you the expert?”

“I know how women’s minds work.”

“Uh-huh. And what happened to that guy you were dating last month? Haven’t heard about him lately.”

“Pfft!” Kacey scoffed. “He was a bore.”

“Maybe he just needed time to get to know you. Maybe he was a super-duper cool guy, really, and you’re a meanie who didn’t give him a chance.”

Kacey raised her eyebrows. “Are you making fun of me?”

“All I’m saying is that sometimes things are just what they seem and nothing more. Jenna didn’t seem interested. If I keep pushing it when she’s made it clear she doesn’t want to go there, I’m just some creep who won’t leave her alone.”

“I think you’re reading too much into it. Maybe she just likes to take things slow.”

“Have you been talking to Carla?”

“What? No. Why would you think that?”

“Because Carla knows everything and likes to talk.”

“Does she know something I don’t?”

“No, but she’s been trying to set Jenna and I up since the day Jenna got here.”

“I see. Looks like it almost worked.”

“Almost.”

“I say give it one more try, but don’t come on too strong. Let Jenna set the pace. Make it easy for her. Then, if she still shows no interest, you’ll know for sure.”

“Why are you so invested in this one, Kace?”

Kacey’s expression grew a little sad, and she laid her hand on my knee. “When you mentioned Jenna, it was the first time you’d shown an interest in anyone in a really long time. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

“I know, Nate. I’m not pushing you. I’m just giving you another way to look at it. Just in case you wanted to give it another go. You don’t have to. Your call.”

We stopped talking about Jenna, but I didn’t stop thinking about her. I wondered what Kacey knew. I had a feeling that it was more than she was letting on. She could have heard about my evening with Jenna from anyone.

Even when you thought you were being really discreet, rumors flew all over Brayford at the speed of light. Someone could have seen me that night at Jenna’s apartment. Carla could have fueled the gossip mill after I’d asked her about Jenna at the coffee shop. Hell, maybe even Jenna had told someone about what had happened.

Kacey wanted me to date again. It was about six months ago that she’d started to tentatively throw in the odd question about my love life. Or she’d casually mention an ad she’d seen on TV for a new online dating site. Or she’d mention how much she missed dating, in the hope that I’d be the one to start a conversation about women.

I think she worried about me becoming an eternal bachelor and letting life pass me by. She knew how much I’d loved Marie and how much I missed her. She knew that for all the years I’d spent playing the field, I’d discovered my true inner family man when I’d married my wife. Sometimes, I thought that Kacey knew me better than I knew myself.

I thought over what she’d said about Jenna maybe wanting to take things slow. I thought over what Carla had told me about Jenna getting over her last relationship. It all made sense, and I couldn’t blame Jenna if she wasn’t in a rush to start something new. But how to go from here?

The last thing I wanted was to miss my chance with her by holding back too long, but I also didn’t want to make her feel cornered. I sighed. Maybe Kacey was right; a slow, gentle approach. Something that put the ball in Jenna’s court. I didn’t know how I was going to go about it yet, but I was going to give this thing one last shot.