Chapter Eleven

EMMY

The sound of voices outside the space shuttle made my stomach flip. I held my breath until they moved away.

Ven shook his head. I wondered if he was troubled by my story, or if he didn’t believe anything I was saying.

“He killed Morley?”

“At the minimum, he indirectly caused Morley’s death.” I was beginning to feeling defensive. “It was as good as killing him. He was the one who gave the order to use explosives and empty the tunnel. It destabilized the area, resulting in a cave-in around the section Morley was searching.”

I closed my eyes, feeling silent tears beginning to drip down my cheeks. It still hurt. I missed him. My heart ached for the man who had been more of a father to me than my genetic parent, who had abandoned me.

I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I jumped when I felt Ven put his arms around me and pull me close to him. I let out a shuddering sigh.

Why did everything seem less horrible when he had his arms around me? It didn’t make sense.

I wrapped my arms around him, his comforting presence giving me permission to unleash all the feelings I had held back ever since Morley died. I sobbed until my heartache went away.

When I recovered, I was soaking an alien I hardly knew with my tears. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He held on and wasn’t letting go.

“I’m not in the habit of crying on the shoulders of strangers, Ven.”

I broke off what I was saying when he put his hand under my chin and forced my face up. What I saw on his face made me freeze with my whole body at attention.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” He was searching my eyes for something. I don’t know what he found, but a heartbeat later, he leaned down, and I experienced my first real kiss.

A quick peck in the bathroom at a childhood birthday party didn’t count. Kissing Christopher had been like giving mouth-to-mouth to a snake. I had only done it because I thought he wanted me to, not because I enjoyed it.

This was different.

The feeling of his lips touching mine took my breath away while simultaneously setting off fireworks in my body. I forgot that I didn’t want a man. I forgot that I had to focus on my goal. I think I even forgot my name.

I held him tighter, making a little sound in the back of my throat and opening my mouth so that our tongues could touch.

How could something that sounded so weird be this amazing?

His arms were roaming over my back and found the hem of my shirt. I felt his hot palms slipping underneath my clothes and lightly grazing the skin of my torso. I practically passed out from the pleasure of his touch. I didn’t think the kiss could get any hotter and yet somehow it did.

But when his hands moved up and one brushed the side of my breasts, making me shudder, I realized what I was doing.

“Ven.” I pulled away as I gasped his name.

“What?” He closed his eyes, as if in pain. He put his hand to his forehead and started to rub it. I noticed that he had two thin purple stripes on the back of his right hand, almost like a cat had clawed him. “I know. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. Isn’t there a no-sex clause?”

He opened his eyes and looked at me in amusement. “We weren’t having sex. At least, that’s not what they call it on my planet.”

“No, but kissing leads to sex. Everyone knows what happens when you start kissing, pretty soon you’re naked and things start happening.”

“I do know.” The look in his eyes made me melt again. That made one of us. I blushed.

“I’m not going to lie, Emmy. I’d like to see you naked.”

I felt my eyes widen, and there was a gush of wetness between my legs. Was that normal? I knew nothing about sex. I would have to read up on the subject.

I wasn’t going to have sex with Ven, was I?

“That would definitely lead to sex. We’re not having sex because our marriage is barely legal.”

“No?” he asked, his eyes smoldering. He flipped over my forearm and ran his finger along my skin, revealing the embedded marriage certificate. His touch made me shiver. “This looks pretty real to me.”

“You know what I mean, Ven.”

“If you don’t want to have sex with me, you don’t have to. That’s one of the stipulations in the contract.”

“I know that. It’s not that I don’t want to…”

“So you do want to have sex with me. What’s the problem?”

I pressed my lips together and huffed out my breath, staring at the ceiling in embarrassment. I had to admit to myself that my body seemed ready to participate. But my mind told me that I was smarter than that.

Besides, he wouldn’t want someone inexperienced like me.

He studied me for a long moment and he must have read my mind. He spoke his next words in an incredulous tone of voice.

“Wait a second, Emmy. Are you still a maiden?”

“A maiden?” I frowned, then understanding dawned on my face. “Oh, you mean a virgin?” My cheeks were burning up.

“How old are you?” He flipped my arm over again to check my birth date on the marriage certificate. I pulled away, but not before he starts doing the calculation in his head. “Wow!”

“Shut up,” I said. “I never planned on getting married. I don’t want a man.”

“Oh, so you like girls?” Now it was his turn to blush.

“A lesbian? No.” I was frustrated that I couldn’t articulate what I meant. He had me flustered after the kiss.

“That’s a relief.”

“Would there be something wrong if I were?” I asked, taking offense on behalf of lesbians everywhere.

“Of course not. The kiss felt like you were extremely interested, that’s all. I would be an idiot if I couldn’t tell a woman’s interest in me.”

“I’m interested,” I muttered. “I just don’t want to be.”

“You’re attracted to me, but you don’t want to be? What the hell does that mean? I thought Earth women would be less confusing than the women on my planet.”

“I think women are the same everywhere. It’s nothing personal, but I don’t need a man to be happy. I don’t want the complications that come with a relationship, okay? I like you well enough. It’s not that. And you’re…”

“What?”

I shrugged. “Hot. But I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to get involved sexually.”

“I agree.” He still looked put out.

“You do?” I was taken aback by his sudden acceptance.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that. I apologize. If you want me in your bed, Emmy, you’ll have to make the first move. From now on, we’re totally platonic.”

He looked like he was annoyed with the whole situation, or maybe only with himself for getting carried away. I had no idea why he was irritated, but something was bothering him.

“You’re not my type, anyway,” he added, almost to himself.

It felt like a slap in the face, but I remembered the appearance of the woman with whom I traded tickets in the spaceport. She had been tall, thin, and blonde…nothing like me. If she was his type, then I probably wasn’t.

“You’re not my type either. I suppose we’re done with this nonsense then.”

He nodded curtly and stood up. The sound of his boots on the metal floor of the ship hollowly echoed as he moved away from me. I didn’t know where he was going, and I didn’t care. I just wanted to be somewhere else.

I rose and walked in the opposite direction, going to look at the window. My feelings were stupid. I didn’t know this guy. It was impossible that he could have hurt my feelings by rejecting me, especially when I didn’t want to have sex with him either.

He hadn’t said anything about fucking. Apparently he wanted to see me naked. But I wasn’t his type, and he wasn’t my type. It was going to be a purely platonic relationship, which was fine by me. I didn’t need the complications Ven would bring to my life.

But if that was all true, then why did I feel disappointed?

VEN

My head felt like it might explode. My cock, too. This woman was driving me crazy. All I wanted was to learn why those guys were chasing her. Instead, I got a tutorial on the history of the Silver Mestolo of Zelia and the story of Emmy’s whole life.

I don’t know what made me put my arms around her. It was a mistake. And yet, when I thought about it again, it hadn’t felt like a mistake. It felt good. Like I had been missing something all my life.

Is that feeling why Pan always went home to Jalla instead of staying for one more beer at the bar? I had always thought he was whipped. Now I suspected it was something else, an elusive feeling that you couldn’t find hanging out with your friends.

It was a sense of rightness that penetrated to my bones. The idea that as long as she was with me, nothing was as bad as I imagined. I thought I could hold her and take away her pain. Is this what made happily married guys abandon the fun of one-night stands and the free life of a bachelor?

I had only met Emmy recently. We didn’t even know each other. Why had I let her cry on my shoulder? More importantly, why hadn’t it felt awkward? If any other woman had cried on me, I would have run as far as I could to get away, no matter who was waiting outside.

At the time, I didn’t want to run. I had wanted to kiss her tears away and make love to her until she forgot her aching heart and cried out my name.

“Holy fuck,” I said out loud, surprised by my thoughts. Had this woman put a spell on me? I was not interested in falling in love. Ever since the love of my life left me five years ago, I had managed to keep all the women I slept with at arm’s length, never dating them long enough to form a connection.

How had Emmy snuck into my heart already?

I pressed my hands against the wall of the ship and touched my forehead to the cool metal, trying to make sense of all the emotions that were churning inside of me.

I would keep her away just like all the other women. Montana would have stayed at arm’s length, where I wanted her. When I decided to contact TerraMates, I imagined an agreeable companion. A bed buddy. Some nice eye candy across the table from me every morning. I had wanted an easy, no-strings-attached and straightforward relationship.

When I thought about Emmy’s dark eyes gazing at me, and the feeling of her lips against me, I realized it might be too late to stay arm’s length apart. The only thing my arms wanted to do was go back and wrap her in them again. I formed fists with my hands, trying to remove the desire to hold her.

Now what was I going to do?