Chapter Twelve

Jenna

I glanced over at the classroom door, helped a kid pack up her backpack, and then glanced over at the door again. The clock was counting down to the end of the school day. It was only when I glanced up again and saw Nate standing there that I realized why my eyes had been so constantly drawn to the door. I was waiting for him.

There he was again. So gorgeous. So perfect. He was wearing a navy T-shirt and blue denim jeans, his arms casually folded across his chest, his eyes scanning the room for his daughter. It didn’t matter how many times I’d seen Nate before; each new glimpse of him sent my heart racing. Every time I laid eyes on him, I was struck by how perfect he was.

He noticed I’d seen him, and he forced a smile. “Hi, Jenna.”

My voice came out a remorseful whisper. “Hello.”

Looking at him now, I felt regret. I thought back to the evening we’d spent together. He’d been so real with me then. He’d told me about his wife and about why he did what he did as a firefighter. I’d felt a connection to him. I felt like I’d understood him. Then, when he’d leaned in and invited me to kiss him…

I remembered the exhilaration I’d felt when our lips had first touched and how electricity had coursed through my veins. I remembered how free and alive I’d felt when my hands were holding onto his shoulders and his mouth had kissed my neck. It had felt so right. It had felt so good.

“How’s it going?” Nate asked.

Horrible. I’ve made a mistake. Please let me try again.

I nodded and turned from him to busy myself with tidying up the classroom, although it was more to hide the tears stinging in my eyes. I swallowed them back. “Fine, thanks. And you?”

I felt him cross the distance between us. I could sense him standing behind me. I closed my eyes, feeling full of regret. I’d allowed fear to take over. I’d started thinking about Victor and doubting Nate. I’d started to wonder whether I could ever really trust any man again, and hadn’t wanted to continue.

But, ever since sending Nate away that night, I’d regretted my decision. Nothing about Nate had ever signaled to me that he could not be trusted or that he would treat me with anything less than complete respect and affection. Yet I’d let Victor’s vileness stain my impression of Nate, too. I felt like if I lost my chance with Nate, I would have nobody to blame but myself.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight until I felt like the last of the tears had been forced dry, and I turned back to face Nate with my best attempt at a smile. He was standing only a step away. The sight of him made my heart beat faster.

“I haven’t seen much of you lately,” I said. I was trying to sound casual, as though nothing had ever happened between us; as though he’d imagined us pressed together that night.

“I’ve been working a different shift pattern.”

“Oh.”

Was it true, or had he been avoiding me?

He spoke. “You’ll be seeing more of me next week.”

“Good.” I dared flick my eyes up at him. I expected to find him frowning or looking at me with disdain. After all, I hadn’t reached out to him at all since that night at my apartment. I’d let things go so far, and then completely fizzled out without any real explanation. If I was Nate, I’d be wondering what was going on.

“You’ve been in Brayford a while now.”

“A couple months.”

“Is it starting to feel like home?”

It had been starting to feel like home. Before I’d received that letter from Charlotte telling me that Victor was on the prowl again, I’d been able to picture my whole life playing out here in this small town. I saw myself studying and receiving my degree, becoming a preschool teacher in my own right, and building a career that I cherished. I’d seen myself growing closer and closer to Carla, and having a real best friend to laugh and joke around and have fun with. And I’d pictured myself somehow getting over this hurdle I’d placed between Nate and I, and managing to start again with him, seeing how far this chemistry would take us.

Now, I had my doubts. I felt like everything in my life was hanging in the balance again. If Victor somehow found me and started terrorizing me again, what choice would I have but to run again? The thought made my blood run cold. I loved it here. I really, truly loved this little town and the people I’d already met. I loved the routine I’d built, and the way I was finally living for me and seeing my dreams come to fruition. I didn’t think I could bear to let Victor take all this from me. I had so much hope here. So many possibilities.

I looked Nate square in the eye and nodded. “Yes. It feels just like home.”

“I’m glad. I know Harriet’s really hoping you’ll stick around.”

The way his eyes flickered when he said that, catching mine very deliberately, I wondered if he was trying to tell me that it was him who was hoping I’d stick around. The idea made me smile. Maybe I hadn’t ruined all my chances with him just yet.

“Look, Nate, we haven’t really spoken again about what happened a few weeks back.”

Nate cut me off. “There’s nothing to explain. You didn’t want things to go any further. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I guess I just hadn’t realized that the evening was meant to be a date, you know? I hadn’t expected things to go that way.” I glanced quickly around the room to see if any kids, parents—or worse, Mrs. Gatsby—were listening. Seeing that nobody was close enough to hear us, I carried on. “When things started to…heat up…I was taken by surprise, and I guess it just took a moment for my brain to catch up and realize what was going on.”

“So, it really wasn’t what you wanted?”

I flashed him a look that said otherwise. “I just wasn’t expecting it that night. I felt like I needed time to figure out whether it was a good idea.”

“And?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the hope I could sense in that one word. I bit down on my lip and gave a little shrug, looking up at him from under my lashes. “I’m still figuring it out.”

“I’m hoping maybe there’s something I can do to convince you that this is a good idea.”

“Like what?”

“Let me take you out tomorrow night.”

“Take me out?”

My heart skipped a beat and filled with joy. I could only imagine how incredible it would be to spend a real night with Nate, out in the open, free. I could only imagine how it would feel to be the woman on Nate’s arm, while every other woman turned to stare at him as he passed by.

At the same time, Victor’s unwanted image flashed into my mind. I wondered if he was any closer to finding me, and if he was, how close. Could I risk starting something new, or was life only moments away from completely unraveling? Even if I’d managed to overcome the way a broken heart and a bad relationship destroys trust, and even if I could believe that maybe Nate was worth the risk of being hurt again, could I be sure that things weren’t about to take a turn for the worse? When had Victor ever let me be happy before?

“Yes, I want to take you out. There’s a great little restaurant down on Parker Street. Italian. How does that sound?”

I twisted a strand of hair around my finger and hesitated.

“They have amazing pasta.”

I laughed. “It sounds great Nate, but I’m still not sure. I just don’t know whether now is the time for me to date.”

Nate furrowed his brow into a confused expression and shook his head. There was a little sparkle of mischief in his eye. “Date? What are you talking about? I’m not talking about a date. This would be a parent-teacher conference. For Harriet.”

That drew a smile from me, and I laughed again. “Oh, is that right? An Italian dinner for Harriet?”

“Absolutely.”

He was breaking down my defenses. He was making me want to take another risk. I looked up into his kind blue eyes and felt the last of my reservations swept away. I nodded. “Okay.”

Nate grinned. Oh God, that smile made me melt. “Okay? Fantastic. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at eight?”

“I’ll be ready.”

“Great.”

I called Harriet over and picked out her backpack from the pegs on the back wall. I handed it to her and then passed Harriet over to Nate. He took her hand and cast me a knowing smile. “Until tomorrow, Miss Dawson.”

“I’ll see you then.”

Nate left, and I stood in awe of how effortlessly he could draw me in. But what about Nate wasn’t captivating? He had the body, the smile, the personality…he was every girl’s dream.

Mrs. Gatsby was behind me, collecting up the children's finished drawings to hang on the line running across the ceiling. I didn’t know how much of the conversation she had caught, but she was grinning at me. I flushed red but found myself laughing. My whole body felt light and bubbly like I was floating on air. I grabbed my purse and raced out of the building, and up towards Main Street.

I reached Carla’s place and burst through the door. I was practically hopping from foot to foot as I waited for the line to die down so I could reach her and tell her the news.

When I got to the head of the line, Carla realized it was me and grinned. “You look like you have something to tell me.”

“You won’t believe it, Carla! Do you have time to talk?”

Carla casually undid the little apron she had on and took it off. “What’s the point in being the boss if you can’t take five for gossip? Lucy—two lattes please when you get a moment.” Carla gestured for me to follow her and led me to our usual table by the window. “So? What’s the big news?”

“I just saw Nate.”

“And?”

“He asked me out. We’re going to dinner tomorrow!”

Carla slapped a hand down victoriously on the table. “You’re kidding me! Really? At last?”

I nodded feverishly. “Oh God, Carla, I don’t know what to do. I haven’t been on a date in forever. I have nothing to wear.”

“Well, I have a whole closet full of knock-‘em-dead dresses. You’ll come over tonight. Fashion show.”

“I don’t want to wear anything too revealing. I don’t want to give the wrong impression.”

“And what impression is that?”

“I don’t know. I just want to take things slow. I don’t want to put it all out there on day one.”

“I think I have the perfect dress in mind.”

“Really? Oh Carla, thank you.”

“Anytime, honey. I’m just thrilled you two have finally got your priorities straight. You’ve been drooling over each other for weeks.”

“Has it been that obvious?”

Carla smiled a wicked grin. “Honey, I had Mrs. Gatsby in here on the weekend, asking me if you two had hit it off. She said whenever Nate enters the room, it’s like nobody else is there but the two of you.”

I flushed scarlet. “Are you joking? That’s so embarrassing. So unprofessional.”

Carla waved away my concerns with her hand. “She loves it. She started telling me all about when she met her husband, Frank, in the seventies. How their eyes met across the room, and they spent months just catching glances and exchanging just a few words here and there. But she said the whole time, there was a fire in her, and when he finally asked her out, everybody said it was about time. When there’s chemistry, everybody feels it. You two have got chemistry.”

“You really think so?” I smiled wistfully. “Nate’s just so…wow. I just feel like he could have his pick.”

“Jenna!” Carla exclaimed incredulously. “Take a look in the mirror, girl. You’re sex on legs.”

I blushed, laughed and looked down. “I don’t think so. I’m mom-jeans and a ponytail.”

“Nate doesn’t see it that way. I’ve known him for a long time, and I know when he’s hot under the collar for a girl. You’ve got his full attention, Jenna. You don’t have to worry about that.”

That night, I went to Carla’s. I had a fantastic time drinking wine and trying on what seemed like a thousand dresses, some of them no more than lace and string. I thought I’d never find anything in her closet full of suggestively low-cut, short-skirt dresses. And then we found the one.

When I put it on, Carla smiled and nodded. “Oh yeah, girl. That’s it. You’re gonna have him on his knees.”