Chapter Fourteen

JORI

Samantha and I stood in silence on the deck of the Dream as I wrestled with my guilt and regret. I knew I was doing good saving children, but the consequences to my personal life had been devastating. Losing my brother's good opinion of me was a side effect of being undercover that I hadn't foreseen when I had taken the job.

I could feel Samantha's eyes on me, watching my reaction. She inched a little closer and put her hand on top of mine. I didn't say anything. She pressed herself against my side and leaned her head on my arm. It was a small gesture, but it gave me comfort. How had she found her way into my heart in such a short time?

Upon reflection, I had loved her since the first time I saw her in Nathaniel and Ashlyn's dining room. I didn't believe in love at first sight. The notion was ridiculous.

But I distinctly remembered my feelings. I had been stunned, caught off guard, and completely head over heels within minutes. It was hard work appearing indifferent to her presence. I buried my emotions inside me because there was no chance of reciprocation. Even if she had returned them, I could never have her or an ordinary life.

I felt like I was on the cusp of an opportunity. Things were different now; all I had to do was catch Harrington in the act. I needed to find those kids. I turned to Sam, pulling away from her, my face displaying surly disinterest.

"We're going to Omi."

"We are?"

"I'm going to tell Nathaniel to correct course right now."

"I know you're acting," she whispered.

I looked at her, making sure my face did not betray what I felt in my heart. "I don't know what you're talking about." Then I turned away, but not before I saw a surprised and confused look on her face.

It was likely that there were tracking and recording devices on my brother's boat. I thought a man was spying on me the night Sam arrived on Vandwa. It wasn't the first time I suspected someone was on my tail. I had also found bugs planted in my apartment.

I hated my situation. Sam had no idea which parts of my personality were authentic and which were a facade. I didn't have time to explain everything to Nathaniel right now, and I needed to maintain my cover.

Nathaniel steered the ship by hand. He was old-fashioned, and didn't like to rely on computers unless he had to. He couldn't see me, and I silently watched him for a few minutes. He looked free, content, and happy. I couldn't remember the last time I had carried no burdens.

Or could I? I had experienced freedom during the past three days with Sam. Before my unexpected vacation, the last time I had felt truly joyful was when I was a child. There was an opportunity to escape right in front of me.

Nathaniel was physically strong. More muscular than me, especially since my illness in jail which had weakened me more than I cared to admit. I had worked to build my strength up, but it had gone slowly and I felt weak compared to my big brother. He was five years older than me, and I had always looked up to him and adored him.

He was my hero until I got old enough to realize I would never be as good as him. I wouldn't be as strong, smart, or kind as Nathaniel. I couldn't catch up and eventually, I gave up. It was a game I could never win. This type of thinking sent me into a tailspin when I was a teenager.

Nathaniel had not said or done anything in particular to upset me. He had always been kind. My older brother and sister had taken care of me and loved me, but I preferred to remain closed. It felt sickening to watch his good opinion of me disintegrate over the past few years.

I observed him indirectly because I didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes when he looked at me. Finally, I couldn't wait any longer. We needed to change course before the Neeru current took the Dream. If I asked him to turn around after we were riding the current, he would be upset.

I climbed to Nathaniel's position and steeled myself for a tough conversation.

"I need you to take me to Omi," I said when he glanced my way. He made a face.

"Why aren't you going home?" he said.

"It's none of your business."

"I'm afraid it is my business, Jori. Don't forget, I have to deliver a report about you to the correctional institute."

He was right. I didn't remember he was responsible for me. The thought galled me. How had I ever thought I could live a life undercover? Of course, I had done it successfully for some time. But lately my occupation felt like a curse.

I stalled, trying to think of a plausible reason I would go to a different destination.

"I've called work and I told them I needed time to get over the trauma of the shipwreck."

Nathaniel had the gall to snort.

"Do you have a problem?" I asked. I looked at his handsome face and grimaced. His looks were another way he was better than me. What could he possibly find funny about my situation?

"Poor Jori. I hope the experience of spending a few days trapped on a deserted island with his beautiful wife doesn't scar him forever."

My cover story was we had hired a boat and gone for a cruise after the party. During the cruise, we were shipwrecked. I skipped the parts where Sam and I had near-death experiences.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I retorted, giving him a black look. I had tried to forget how Sam's body felt against mine. Who knew when I would get the chance to make love to her again? "We were both terrified to be stuck in the middle of the ocean without any land in sight. You would have been scared too."

He rolled his eyes. "I doubt it."

"I was worried we had crossed over The Barrier."

"Okay, that would have freaked me out too. I still have nightmares about falling in the water past The Barrier and being eaten by something horrible."

"Exactly," I said.

"You may have suffered a disturbing experience. I'll give you that, I suppose." He shook his head. "Otherwise you're looking pretty relaxed, little brother. I don't know what spell you cast on Sam during your island escapade, but she looks different too."

Nathaniel turned to me suddenly. "Is she in love with you? There's something different about her eyes."

I was startled but tried to hide it. "I wouldn't know. She looks the same to me."

"Was it amazing?"

"Was what amazing?"

"I think you're trying to avoid the question," Nathaniel said. He radiated a certain aura when he wanted to get answers. I'm sure it worked on his wife, Ashlyn, but it didn't work on me. "So, was it?"

"I never said we did anything."

"You don't have to."

I remained silent, not wanting him to trap me into revealing what we did.

"Do you care about her?" he said, scanning the horizon and avoiding my face.

I wondered which answer made sense, would be truthful, and would work with my cover.

"Earlier you said about things being different with a particular girl. You were right."

I looked over and saw he had a smug grin of satisfaction.

"Is that my answer?" he said, searching my eyes. The smile on his face faded, replaced by an intense expression.

"That's all you're going to get," I said, looking away from his inquisitive eyes.

"Don't hurt her, Jori. She's a terrific person and doesn't deserve a broken heart."

I stared into the ocean, looking at its majestic waves. I didn't want to break Sam's heart, and I hoped I wouldn't.

"I know that. I'm looking out for her, Nathaniel. I know you think I don't know how to take care of a wife, and that I'm probably not good enough for her."

"Jori, hang on a second."

"I'm taking care of her, the best I can."

No further words were exchanged between us as we continued sailing.

When we approached land, Nathaniel and I needed to have another discussion. "If you could drop anchor out here, we'll catch an automatic boat all the way into the wharf. We don't need to bother you."

"It's no problem to dock her, Jori," he said. He was getting frustrated. "I don't mind."

"I know you don't," I said, trying to keep my face expressionless. "But I also know you have two girls waiting for you at home and mooring will take an extra hour. If Kathryn's sick, your family needs you."

I could see him hesitate.

"There's a doctor at the house."

"Ash doesn't need a doctor. She needs you. Go home, Nathaniel. I'll call you when we're back at my apartment."

"Okay," Nat said. He moved reluctantly, but I could tell he wanted to be with his daughter. He called out orders to the crew and turned back to me. "Jori, I know you probably see me as a pain in the ass and I don't blame you. But I'll always be your brother and I'll always be looking out for you. If you ever need my help, let me know, and I'll be there, no questions asked."

I stared at him. How could he think I was a bad person and still make a promise like that to me? I agreed reluctantly. "Okay."

Sam approached us. She sensed we were having a private discussion and hesitated. I gave a nod indicating it was okay to join us.

"Hey big guy," she said. It was difficult to keep my face stoic when a jolt of happiness shot through my body when she stood next to me. "Are they dropping anchor? How are we going to get to shore?"

"We're catching one of the boats," I said as I motioned my hand towards the robotic craft around us, floating and waiting for their next passengers.

"Ah," she said. To see them, she had to squint into the sun.

"I'll see you soon, Sam," Nat said, giving her a hug. He offered me his hand, and I shook it. "You'll remember what I said, right?"

"I'll remember," I said, meeting his eye. I wished I could be authentic with my brother. I desperately wanted him to know he wasn't misplacing his faith in me. Once my mission was complete and I was out of the service, I would get my reward. I could think about telling my brother all about my life the past few years.

When we sat by ourselves side by side in the new boat, Sam turned to me.

"I know what you're doing," she said.

I stared out the window. If I looked into her eyes, I knew I wouldn't be able to hide.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I did not dream our time on that island," she said. "Look at us."

I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw her tugging at her bodysuit. She was dirty, and her hair was a mess. The bodysuit had seen better days. I'm sure I looked disheveled as well.

From my vantage point, the curve of her breasts was visible. I could see her nipples were tight and round. She didn't look bad to me. In fact, she looked way delicious. She was better than I deserved. I drew in a deep breath through my nose and stared back out the window.

Samantha turned her head towards me. When I looked out of the corner of my eye again, I saw a sly smile spread across her face. She leaned a little closer to me, her soft breasts pressing into my arm, and put her hand on my crotch.

"Maybe it was a dream. A hot dream," she said, and squeezed. I exhaled, took her hand off my crotch, and placed it carefully back in her lap. She rolled her eyes and flopped back in the seat, swallowing and putting her hand on her stomach. Her motion sickness had kicked in, and she started to look green. Her propensity for seasickness was incredible, even on a short trip.

"You can put on an act for everyone else, Jori. I'm sure they'll be convinced. Don't bother with me. I won't believe it again. I know you," she said. Her voice was weak as she struggled with nausea.

There were surveillance devices everywhere, especially in public transit. I frowned at her.

"You hardly know me, Sam," I said. I undid my seatbelt as the boat bumped into the dock.

She had a calm resolve in her eyes.

"Whatever you say," she said, clambering out onto the wharf. She looked distracting, and I had a feeling she was doing all the jiggling for my benefit.

I hoped the mission wouldn't take much longer.