Chapter Nine

Nate

I’d been turning the evening with Jenna over and over in my head, and I still couldn’t understand what happened. She had pushed me away, but her eyes, and more importantly her body, had said she wanted me.

I told myself it was just my ego at work. Not every woman was desperate to throw herself at me. Maybe I was wrong, but I didn’t think I was. It wasn’t just one evening, either; Jenna had been throwing glances my way since day one. We had sparks and an undeniable chemistry.

So why was she trying to deny it?

I sat in my car for a while after I parked, staring at the building and drumming my fingers against the wheel. In my mind, I could still see Jenna’s naked chest rising and her body arching under my touch. To see her again in my kid’s preschool class might feel odd.

I glanced at my watch. Harriet should be waiting for me already. I got out of the car and headed toward the entrance, passing the colorful posters and presentations on the wall and walking to Harriet’s classroom. I could hear the buzz of kids and parents talking as I drew closer.

I turned into the room and caught sight of Jenna talking with Jason. I scowled and pulled myself back into the hall. Was she playing games with me?

I didn’t think so. She didn’t seem the type to play games. I waited in the hall until I saw Jason leave. Harriet was the last kid left.

“Sorry I’m late, honey! Daddy got stuck in traffic.”

Jenna looked up at the sound of my voice and flushed scarlet. I thought of her flushed skin and wild hair after our encounter and could almost see her in her gold and black lace underwear.

I gave her a curt nod. “Hi, Jenna.”

“Nate…” She breathed my name like she’d been holding in the sound of it all day. She bit down on her lip. That woman knew just how to drive me insane. I waited for her to say more, but no words came out of her mouth.

I decided to speak instead. “I wanted to apologize for the other night. I misread the situation. Of course, I understand if this—,” I gestured between us, “—is a conflict of interest for you.”

Jenna had been keeping herself busy, but she paused and rested against Mrs. Gatsby’s desk with her arms folded over her chest, looking down at the ground. I wished she would raise her hazel eyes to look up into mine. If she was struck again by the electricity flowing between us when our eyes met, she would drop all of her defenses and tell me what was happening.

Instead, I moved a step closer and let my arms loose at my sides. “I’d lost a woman at work. I was emotional. We drank too much wine. I guess I crossed a line. I apologize for that.”

Jenna looked like she was going to cry, and she tightened her arms around her and looked away. She shut her eyes and took a few deep breaths. When she looked back, she managed a gentle, sad smile. “You didn’t cross a line. You did nothing wrong.”

I wanted to ask her why she had cut me off that night, but I didn’t want to push her. I held my tongue.

She let out a long, anxious breath and tried to explain. “What happened was my fault. I shouldn’t have let things go as far as they did, but I just…you just…” Her voice trailed off, and she turned her back to me to gaze out the window. “There are so many things I wish I could tell you.”

I followed her path and placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her to face me again. “Is there something stopping you?”

Jenna shook her head and drew in a sharp breath to hold back her tears. She shook her head. “No. It’s not the time or the place. You don’t know me well enough for me to start crying on your shoulder.”

“I came crying on yours.”

She gave me a small, tight, smile. “That’s different.”

“Still, you listened.”

“Look, Nate, the best thing you can do is just forget this thing ever happened. Trust me, it’s better for us both.”

I wanted to argue with her, but at the same time, I didn’t want to push Jenna on a sensitive subject. Something had happened to Jenna long before I ever came along, and it was making her hold back now. I didn’t know what it was, or why it was making her act so strangely, but I could sense it. It was wedged between us like a mountain.

“I thought it was a great evening.”

“Me, too.”

There she went again with the mixed signals. In one breath, she was telling me that I was better off leaving her alone; in the next, she revealed that she enjoyed our time together. I wished I knew whatever it was she was keeping from me. I wondered if it would change anything. If I had been a different man, I might have told her that I hadn’t felt drawn to a woman since my wife’s death, and I wasn’t willing to let her go. Whatever it was, I could handle it. But I was a man of few words in situations like these.

I sighed. “Let me know if anything changes.”

Another forced smile. “Thanks.”

Even as I took Harriet’s hand and began to walk away, I could feel Jenna’s eyes boring into me and begging me to turn around. I didn’t look back. I wasn’t one for mixed messages. If it wasn’t to be, I would move on. Moving on was what I did best.

I had to swing by the station to check in with the chief about next week’s schedule before heading home. I decided to head over to Carla’s coffee shop to ask her to keep an eye on Harriet for a few minutes.

When I arrived, Carla instantly picked up on my demeanor and leaned on one elbow on the counter with a frown. “What’s up, sugar? You look like someone’s kicked up all your daisies.”

I smiled. “Just one of those days.”

“Bad day at work?”

“Something like that.”

“What can I get you?”

“Black coffee for me. Juice and a cake pop for the little one.”

“You got it.”

I drummed my fingers on the counter while I waited, watching Carla work the coffee machine. When she came back with a paper cup and a juice box, I asked, “Hey, Carla, what’s the story with that new woman in your apartment building? The one that works at the preschool?”

“Jenna?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything you can tell me.”

Carla’s mouth curved into a wicked grin. “Anything you need to tell me first?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Not a thing.”

“It’s not like you realized I was right all along, and now you’re after her?”

“You couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Carla grinned and leaned back with her arms folded across her chest. “Well… she’s moved here to pick herself up after her last relationship, although she’ll tell you she’s here for a job. She’s studying to teach. She’s not into expensive trinkets like jewelry as far I can tell, but her apartment is filled with books and plants. If you’re trying to win her heart, I’d suggest bringing her a book or some flowers.”

“I’m not trying to win her heart.”

Carla sighed dramatically. “You two are so much alike! She wants to fuck you, you want to fuck her. What’s taking you two so long?”

I shook my head slowly and gave Carla a fond, if slightly disapproving, look. “Good things take time, Carla.”

“Come off it, Nate. She’s gorgeous.” Carla leaned forward again. “You’ll tell me if something happens, right?”

“You will be the first to know. Will you watch Harriet while I sort out some work stuff?”

Carla nodded, then leaned over the counter to hand Harriet her cake pop. “There you go, sweetie. Can you sit on the table over there where Aunty Carla can keep an eye on you? Daddy will be right back.”

“Thanks.”

“Any time.”

I walked back across the road toward the station. Carla had told me only a little about Jenna, but the part sticking in my mind was the bit about her picking up after a bad relationship. That explained a few things about why she had sent me home that night. Maybe she was still getting over the last guy.

I smiled. At least her mind made a little more sense now. I wasn’t wrong; we had chemistry. Jenna needed time. I could give her that.