EIGHTEEN

CASEN

It’s been two days since I’ve seen or even talked to Embyr. I’ve shown up at her door, at her job. She is nowhere to be found. If I didn’t have Trinity’s number I would never even know if she was still alive.

“She’s home,” Trin yelled at me through the phone. “She’s alive but she said she doesn’t want to talk to you.”

That didn’t stop me from going to her apartment and sleeping outside her door last night. It’s going to make for a rough shift today but I don’t give a shit. She has to come out at some point, doesn’t she? I can’t figure it out. I thought we were doing okay. She took care of me when I got those damn stitches and spent the night. I told her I loved her and when she left I could tell she was happy, really and truly happy. I don’t understand this. Even a fuck off text would be nice but I’m not getting anything from her.

Just after six o’clock in the morning, and right before I need to leave for work, I bang on her door so hard the walls rattle. After the third attempt, Trinity finally opens it up as much as the chain will allow. She looks like I woke her from a deep sleep but I don’t give a shit.

“Where’s Em?”

Her eyes roll back in frustration. “She doesn’t want to see you, Casen, leave!”

Pain radiates through my hand as it hits the wall. “EMBYR!” I yell over Trinity’s head. “Embyr, come out here now!”

The door slams in my face and I hear the slide of the chain being released before it swings back open. Trinity, in her barely there red tank top and short as fuck boy shorts, comes flying out of the doorway. Both her hands make contact with my chest as she pushes me. I’m a strong guy but she gets me back a few feet.

Her face comes dangerously close to mine. “Listen, asshole! I’ve had enough of you. You fucked her over. You got what you wanted now get the hell out of here before you wake her up!”

“Trin.” Embyr’s sleepy voice comes from behind her. “I got this.”

My heart skips a beat. Embyr is beautiful but even more so when she just wakes up. She’s natural and untouched. Simply amazing. This morning though, she is all of those things but with an added touch of dark circles under her eyes and sadness written all over her face.

She leans against the wall, listening as Trinity whispers in her ear. “I’m sure,” she tells her.

Once Trin is inside, Embyr crosses her arms over her chest. She’s adorned in a white silk robe, and my fingers itch to feel what’s underneath. I know every crevice of her body, and it kills me to feel as though I have no right to it anymore.

She speaks first, softly, dejected. “What do you want, Casen?”

I don’t know what happened from the time she left my bed until later that night but there has been a shift and I don’t like it. Far too much has happened in my life these past six months, and I’m not sure how much more my mind can take. Every time I turn around some other kind of drama is happening. Is it so wrong to want things to calm down for a little while?

“What do I want?” My fingers grab a hold of my hair in frustration. “I want to know what happened. Why are you not returning my calls?”

Her chin falls to her chest, and I spot a tear in the corner of her eye. It’s one lonely single tear that is looking to break the barrier, but I’m afraid it’s a levy about to release the dam.

“You hurt me, Casen,” she quietly responds with her arms still crossed in protection. She looks up with resolve. “But I guess that was the point, right? To get back at me for what I was doing?”

One foot of mine steps closer. I go to reach out but drop my hands quickly. “Please explain it to me. I don’t know what you’re talking about, baby.”

She slits her eyes and the coldness of her stare cuts me. “Don’t call me that. Not after what you did. Not after sending that damn video to all of my coworkers!”

“What are you talking about, Embyr? What video? I never sent anything to anyone. I don’t understand.”

When I reach for her this time she falls helplessly into my arms. She beats on my chest half-heartedly, letting the levy break and the tears come gushing out. “How could you, Casen? I loved you. I was starting a new life, and I was okay not having you. Then you came back and tore up everything, just like I was going to do to you, right?” She pulls back. Tears careen down her reddened cheeks. “You wanted to hurt me like I was trying to hurt you?”

She doesn’t stop me when I open her door and lead us to the couch. She sits, and I get her some water.

“I want you to do me a favor,” I ask, before sitting alongside her. “I want you to tell me what happened, or what you think I did, and pretend like I have no fucking clue what that is.”

Her tongue wets her lips before she takes a few drinks of water and then sets it on the table. Her elbows lean onto her knees, and her fingers intertwine. “The video, the one from high school. You sent it to my job. All my coworkers had it in their inboxes.” Her voice rises. “You sent the video to them, Casen!”

I think for a moment. I’m so confused. What the hell is she talking about? “I don’t understand, Embyr. I never did that. Why do you think that?”

She snatches a tissue from the box on the coffee table and blows her nose. “It came from your email, Casen. You can’t tell me you didn’t send it.”

I shake my head. “I can because I didn’t. Is that why Derrick called you in the other day? Someone sent the high school video to him?”

Embyr nods, catching a few tears before they fall. “From your email.”

I search the past few days. I don’t remember going into my email recently. “I didn’t do that Embyr, and if I’m being honest I don’t even have access to that video anymore. I wouldn’t even know where to find it! I promise you, I haven’t opened my email since…”

I think, and I think some more and then it hits me. The Lieutenant results. I checked them at the station. I search the memory further and try to remember if I logged out. I checked it. I told Reece. Reece attacked me. I got sent home.

I rise quickly to my feet. “That fucking asshole!” I roar.

Without thinking, I storm toward the door, throwing it open. Embyr is not far behind me. “Where are you going? Who is an asshole?”

I don’t wait for the elevator because I’m too fucking angry to sit still for a moment longer. Not until my fist connects with that fuckers face. “I’ll call you later, Embyr, but just know I didn’t do this. It was not me.”

The door to the stairwell slams against the wall and I take the steps two at a time. The day is cold but my whole body is heated with fury. I throw off my sweatshirt as I jump into my truck and head down the street toward the station.

Traffic is a bitch and with each passing second my anger grows. How could he do this? How could he be so fucking cold-hearted and send that video to her job? He had an excuse back in high school. A shitty excuse but at least that time was an accident. It had to take a lot for him to get that video to my email and send it off to all of Em’s coworkers. He’s supposed to be my best friend. We’ve been rocky the past month or so but this puts the nail in the coffin. We’re done.

Once I reach the station, I throw the truck in park and rip the keys out of the ignition. I’m late, which sucks but after what I am about to do I’m sure that Captain will send me home anyway. This time a report will definitely be filed.

I find most of the crew in the kitchen but Reece is nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Reece?” I ask as I walk past them.

“Gym.” Someone comments, but I don’t know who.

Turning the corner, I spot him lying on the bench, the bench press extended above him. He doesn’t see me coming, and I like it that way. I grab onto the bar and begin to push it down. His eyes grow wide as he tries to counter the weight of me.

“What the fuck, Casen.” He struggles to speak. A bead of sweat forming on his temple. “Get the fuck off it. I’m going to drop it.”

I push further, giving him more of my weight. “Not until you fucking admit what you did!”

“HELP!” he screams, but I don’t give a shit. I’m not sure anyone could out strengthen me right now.

“Admit it, you fucking prick!” I yell. “Admit you sent that video.”

His arms start to shake. It won’t be long before it drops onto his chest. Or worse, his neck. “What video, man?”

I shake the bar. “The one of Embyr in high school, don’t play fucking stupid.”

It’s a tug of war. He won’t admit what he did, and I sure as fuck am not going to let go until he does. His eyes begin to tear up. “HELP!” he screams again, this time louder and more desperate.

“Tell me, Reece. Tell me why.”

His elbows are giving way and his desperate eyes look at my furious ones. “Because you don’t deserve her. She is so much better than you and you don’t deserve her.”

I let go of the bar just as some of the crew finally make it into the room. Reece drops the bar to its side, the weights crashing to the floor, and jumps up. His chest meets mine. “What the fuck, Casen! You could have killed me!”

I shove him. “You think I don’t deserve her so you attack her at the place she works. How fucked up is that, Reece. You are so messed up in the head. Always have been. You have a warped mind and I don’t fucking get it. You’re mad at me, pissed at me for getting what I want all the time. Go after me. Not her. She didn’t deserve that!”

The crew is standing around us, none of them knowing what to do, waiting to step in should this turn bad.

“She didn’t, huh? All the fucking over she did to you, Wesley, Patrick, Ian, and Thad? You don’t think she deserved it? So, you’re okay that your girlfriend bent over Patrick’s desk and let him rail her from behind. Or that Ian got to fuck that sweet pussy first. You like your friends giving it to your woman? Hmm, maybe I should get a try.”

I don’t think. I just react. My right hand rears back, and I slam it so hard into Reece’s face that he stumbles back and falls to the ground. Blood begins to pool from his nose, and before I can jump on him, I have two of my men holding an arm each. Another one is tending to Reece.

I point his way. “That was fucked up, Reece. Even for you. Don’t you come near Embyr or me again.”

He’s still laying on the ground, blood starting to run down his neck. “Don’t worry. I won’t. You all can go to hell.”

“What in the ever loving fuck is going on in here?” Captain yells, taking in the scene. “You two again?”

I point at Reece. “That asshole sent out a video of my girlfriend from my email account. I left it open the other day. Forwarded it to everyone she works with, all because he’s fucking jealous!”

Reece spits a mix of blood and saliva on the ground next to him and stands up. “Jealous of what? Your slut of a girlfriend? The one who just goes around looking to open her legs for everyone in the PITCREW? I’d be surprised if she didn’t bang close to all of them already.”

I struggle out of their hold, lowering my shoulders and go full steam toward him. Hitting him straight in the gut, we fly to the ground, but it’s only for a brief moment before I’m pulled off him again.”

“Come on, Casen,” our driver, Troy, says, pushing me out of the room. “He isn’t worth it.”

I can hear Reece moaning in the other room, but I don’t give a shit. I shoulder out of Troy’s grip and head toward the door.

“Parker!” Captain yells. I turn and am surprised to find he’s already up on me. He escorts me the rest of the way out of the firehouse. “Go home. Now!”

I figured that might happen. Pointing back toward the door I ask, “You heard what he did, right, Cap?”

He looks up to the sky, like he’s praying for something, and then back down to me. “I did, son, but right now I don’t know what the hell to do with you two. A few days ago, I had to send you to the emergency room, and it looks like he’s headed there now. But I can’t have you here right now, and I think it’s time for a shift change. Maybe one of you needs to move to a new rotation. You two can’t work together any longer.”

He’s right. I don’t know that I can trust him anymore. He’s supposed to have my back and now I feel as though I’ll be looking over my shoulder.

“I understand. Do you want me to wait to see if you can get someone to come in?”

He shakes his head no. “Go on home. I got this. Just take the day and come see me tomorrow morning.”

Not having anything to grab from inside, I get in my truck and head back to Embyr’s place. For the first time in the last two days, she answers when I knock. Even though it’s been a couple hours she looks just as tired as before. Her eyes are bloodshot and her hair is in a messy ponytail. She’s wearing sweats. She says nothing as she lets the door open and walks to the couch, taking a seat. I sit next to her, reaching for her hand. She flinches, and it breaks my heart.

“Embyr, you have to know I didn’t do that. Please.” I beg. “I just saw Reece. He told me he did it when I found out I made Lieutenant and I left my email open.”

She responds softly. “I know.”

Lifting her chin up with one finger, I wipe away a tear with another. “If you know then we can work this out. I’ll go to your job and explain everything. I’ll tell them...”

“No.” She interrupts. “No. I already spoke to them. My job is secure. I go back fresh on Monday morning.”

“I’m so sorry this happened. Come on. Let’s go lie back in bed.” I rise to my feet but she doesn’t follow. She’s just shaking her head at me.

“No, Casen.” She swallows and glances up at me. “You have to leave. I can’t do this anymore. If I’m going to forgive and forget then I need to just be alone.”

I fall to my knees before her. “Baby, we can heal together. Don’t let Reece come between us. Please.”

“I need you to go.” She gets louder. “I need to be alone. I need to figure out who I am again. My past just keeps coming back to haunt me. I’ll never get away from it, and if I’m with you, then I’ll never forget it. It’ll just be in my face all the time.”

Widening her legs, I nestle between her and wrap my arms around her shoulders. “We can do this. It can be overcome. I promise. Let me show you. Give us a chance.”

Her sobs get louder. “No. Leave. Now!” She stands, stepping over me and walking down the hallway to her room and slamming the door.

Slamming it on us.

“Did Reece really do that?” Trinity asks from the kitchen.

Eyeing her from my place on the carpet I ask, “Have you been there the whole time?”

She mixes a spoon in her cup of coffee and walks over to me. “I have been. Tell me. Is Reece responsible for the video being sent to her work? You didn’t do it to get back at her?”

“Yes. He admitted it, and if you think that I would do something so cold then you are dead wrong. Your boyfriend is a fucking psycho.” I stand up and storm toward Embyr’s room.

I bang so hard a picture frame falls from the wall to the floor. It’s of her parents. I pick it up and put it gently back in its place.

“Go away, Casen, or I’m calling the cops!” she screams through her tears. I hear the heartbreak. It matches mine.

“I’m not giving up on you, Embyr,” I yell in the crack of the door. “We didn’t go through hell and back just to give up. I love you, and I’m going to fucking fight for you. You’re worth it!”

Slapping my hand one more time on her door before turning to leave.