Mads hadn’t had the best day, so when he got home at nine after Sofia’s bedtime and saw Jessie watching TV in the living room, he wasn’t that happy. Bedtime rituals were important to him. But the leak in the hotel wasn’t easy to fix and he hadn’t been able to get away.
“Hey, Mads. Glad you’re home. I put Sofia to bed but she was determined to wait up for you,” Jessie said. She still looked pale, but he knew from her text updates that her fever had subsided and she was managing her cold symptoms with over- the-counter medicines. “She might still be awake.”
“Thanks. How are you feeling?”
She gave him a weak smile. “Better, but still not one hundred percent.”
“I’m glad you’re a bit better. I’ll go check on Sofia.”
“Also, if you didn’t eat, we had Indian and I saved some for you.”
“Thanks, Jessie,” he said. “I am hungry.”
“I’ll heat it up while you go see Sofia.”
He nodded and walked down the hall towards the bedrooms. Sofia’s door was propped open a half inch with a doorstopper and he carefully pushed it fully open, walking into the room. There was a lamp next to her bed that they’d gotten for her nursery. It had a rotating lampshade that projected the cow jumping over the moon and stars onto the wall.
Treading softly, he approached her bed and saw Sofia curled on her side, hugging her dolly, Peaches, sleeping soundly. She looked so sweet with her thick black hair curling around her head. He leaned down and kissed her softly and then drew her covers up over her shoulders before quietly leaving her room.
He went down the hall to his own room and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tee-shirt. Then he went into the kitchen, where Jessie had left a plate for him. He noticed the box of chocolates on the counter and took his curry with him to check it out. He saw that it had Remy’s name on the card.
He ate his dinner and cleaned up before going to find Jessie.
“What did Sofia get for Remy?” he asked.
She turned the volume down on the reality television show she was watching.
“Chocolates. She insisted on stopping by the Candied Apple Café on the way home and I hope you don’t mind but I gave in and took her,” Jessie said. “She insisted that her friend Iona would help her figure out how to say she was sorry.”
He shook his head. He’d been on the receiving end of Sofia’s stubbornness and while Jessie usually could resist, she was still getting over being sick. “It’s okay. What did she get?”
Jessie smiled. “A box of truffles, but she explained several times that she was doing it under protest.”
Mads laughed. That sounded like his daughter. “I’m going to work for a while in my study. Are you sure you’re feeling better?”
“I am. I’ll be up with Sofia for breakfast and the school run.”
“Thanks,” Mads said. “I will probably need to be at the Common earlier tomorrow but I want to see her before I leave.”
“Okay.”
He left her in the living room and went down the hall to his study. He took his smart phone from his pocket and texted a note to Iona, thanking her for helping out Sofia.
She replied straightaway. No problem. I made sure she included a handwritten card, but I have no idea what she wrote on it. I hope that’s okay.
Yes, it is, he sent back.
His phone vibrated and he saw the call was from Iona.
“Hello?”
“Hi. Sorry to call but I didn’t want to text this,” she said.
She was going to call him out for kissing her; he didn’t blame her. He’d walked away because … that kiss had been too good. He shouldn’t have done it.
“I’ve been invited to a party this weekend and feel free to say no, but I thought maybe you and Sofia would like to come as my guests.”
A party with her friends.
“Blair and Jeff?” he asked.
“No. Cici and her husband Hoop. She’s the CFO of the Candied Apple Café,” Iona said. “They have a new baby and they are throwing a family-friendly party. And I … well I don’t want to overstep but I think you and Sofia would both enjoy it.”
Sofia had really enjoyed the party at Jeff’s. He remembered how she’d started singing carols. Maybe this party would be good for her. And he admitted he wanted to see Iona again. “What time?”
“Seven. But you could come later if that is better,” she said. “I’ll text you the address when we get off the phone.” She paused. “Thank you, Mads.”
“No, thank you. Usually we don’t do much for the holidays,” he said.
“When did your wife get sick? I think Sofia said she was two,” Iona suddenly asked without thinking.
Mads leaned his head back against the pillows and looked up at the ceiling. “That’s right. And Gill had chemo and would go into remission for a few months before it came back and we’d go through the entire round of treatments, praying, hoping, then remission again. Most Christmases were spent at home to avoid Gill getting sick from other people, since chemo kills the immune system.”
“That had to have been hard for you,” Iona said carefully. There was a note of empathy in her voice.
It had been hard on him, but he and Gill had made a commitment to each other when they’d both been young and happy and very much in love. “You know what was the most difficult part? Watching Sofia try to cope with it. The last year when the doctors said they’d done all they could …” he broke off, hearing his own voice crack. What was he going to do? Tell her that Sofia, who thought he could do anything, that he was some sort of superman, had asked him to stop it. To fix Mommy.
“Oh, Mads. I can’t even imagine what that’s like,” Iona said. “Sofia is pretty resilient and I think you are doing a great job with her.”
He wiped his eyes with his thumbs. Then took a deep breath. “I hope so. It’s hard to judge that since I’m always right in the mix with her. She’s so sassy sometimes … I’m not sure that’s good.”
“It’s perfect,” Iona said. “In fact, today while she was at the shop picking out her chocolates, she kind of inspired us.”
“She did?”
“Yes. And if you think she’d like to be part of the campaign I’d love to use her in it. We are designing small truffle boxes that are ‘naughty and nice’. The ‘naughty’ truffles will have a hint of heat to them.”
Mads loved the idea. Sofia would probably be over the moon when she learned about the campaign. “I’ll talk with her and let you know if she wants to be a part of the campaign, but just as a consumer I think it’s a fantastic idea.”
“Thanks. I’m always trying to keep us one step ahead of the competition and to showcase Hayley’s candy-making skills.”
“That’s part of why we want you to be a partner in the Loughman Group. Have you thought any more about our proposal?”
“We’ve been busy, but tomorrow I’m going to discuss your proposal with my partners. I think we should have an answer for you by next week.”
“Good. I think we would make a good partnership,” he said, fishing for an indication of which way she was leaning. She was savvy too, so he supposed she’d catch on, but she might just say something that would give away her position a little.
“Good night, Mads,” she said.
“See you Friday.”
He stopped to check on his daughter again and then went into his bedroom. It was still hard every night when he walked in and didn’t see Gill’s lamp on or her sitting in bed reading on her iPad. But tonight, when he glanced at the bed in his mind’s eye, he didn’t see Gill. He saw Iona.
That scared him and made him realize that he couldn’t do this. He wasn’t ready for a woman like Iona in his life.
***
Iona got the text from her friends to meet at Sant Ambrose instead of the office and she took her time getting ready before going to join them. She had a little extra time because the coffee shop was closer to her apartment than the Candied Apple Café. But when she got downstairs she saw her brother waiting in the lobby.
“Good morning, sister,” Theo said, straightening from the wall and coming over to her.
A light dusting of snow on his dark, black hair and the shoulders of his camel-colored coat indicated he hadn’t been waiting long.
“Theo, hey,” she said. “What are you doing here? Is Mom okay?”
“She’s fine,” he said. “We were worried about you because you haven’t been in our group chat lately. I volunteered to check on you. You can ignore the phone and a text, but in person, we both know I can run faster.”
She shook her head. “That’s only because I’m in heels. I’ve been busy. The Candied Apple Café Christmas is taking up a lot of my time. I have to keep us in the public’s eye so consumers keep coming in.”
“I’m going to say something and if you want to punch me for it, so be it,” Theo began. “You don’t have to keep trying to prove to us that you are as good at business as dad is.”
“I’m not …”
“Don’t bother. We both know it’s true,” he said. “The thing about Dad was he never saw either of us as we truly were. He wanted to believe I was his golden child and that you were Mom’s mini-me. He never realized the opposite was true. You have surpassed his drive and determination in business, Io. You can stop. You beat him.”
She shook her head. She didn’t know how to stop. She only knew the next goal, the next campaign, the next quarter’s promotions. “I know you’re right.”
“Of course I am. It’s me,” Theo said, without a hint of modesty. “I also know you aren’t going to just stop. But if you could find something to do that wasn’t business … that would ease the worry Mom and I feel about you.”
“I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask,” he said.
He hugged her, holding her tightly and suddenly that knot deep inside her loosened. She knew she had to deal with this thing with her dad, but he was gone and she had been struggling to figure it out.
Tears burned her eyes but she blinked until they were gone and stepped back. “I am heading to a meeting at Sant Ambrose. Want to walk with me and grab a drink until the girls get there.”
“You know it,” he said. “I had to leave the apartment early to catch you, which meant no coffee in bed.”
She shook her head as they left the lobby of the building and noticed it was empty except for the doorman. She took Theo’s hand and drew him into a corner.
“I’m so happy you found love with Nico,” she admitted.
“Me too. It was unexpected. Thanks for being so cool about it,” Theo said.
“Well, there was more passion when Nico looked at you than when he kissed me, so I figured I should nudge him toward you,” Iona said. “Are you bringing him to the Nutcracker next week?”
“I am. What about you?”
“Maybe,” she said, knowing Sofia would love the children’s event. But she was kind of trying to figure out Mads. He’d kissed her and then played it all cool … what exactly was going on with him?
“Maybe?”
“That’s it for now. I’ll let you know if it changes.”
“Fair enough. I have some news,” he said.
She didn’t correct her brother that she and Mads were seeing each other. Technically, they were seeing each other.
“What’s your news?”
“Nico asked me to marry him,” Theo said, bursting with joy.
“That’s wonderful. I better be the best woman.”
“I wouldn’t have anyone else!”
He hugged her and then walked with her to Sant Ambrose and she thought she did a great job of acting like her old self. She knew she was going to have keep faking it until she made it. And she’d do it. She had always been there for Theo and she wasn’t going to let him down now.
She hugged him and said goodbye to him outside the small coffee shop, then went inside to find her friends waiting at the back of the restaurant.
“Hey you. How was your night?” Cici asked.
“Not bad,” Iona said, remembering her late-night chat with Mads.
“Mine was filled with a vision of sugar plums,” Hayley said with a wink. “I think I’ve got an idea for the second ‘naughty’ truffle. I love this idea.”
“Me too. And I was thinking maybe we could use Sofia in the print ad in the shop. Having a little girl do the ‘naughty and nice’ thing will keep it innocent. I’ve spoken to her father.”
“When did you have time to do that?” Hayley asked.
“Last night,” Iona said. “Also, I’m bringing them with me to your party on Friday, Cici.”
Cici and Hayley looked at each other and then back at her. “Really?”
“Yes,” Iona said and then quickly changed the subject to the deal that the Loughman Group were offering them. She tried to keep her mind on business but she couldn’t help it from drifting to Mads.
***
Mads sat down at his desk just after four p.m. for the first time since he’d arrived at the Common that morning. He’d had a restless night of sleep remembering the one kiss he’d shared with Iona and finally admitting that he wanted more. It had been a long day and when he saw the stack of Christmas cards on his desk waiting for him to sign, he shoved them to the side. He wasn’t interested in sending corporate holiday greetings at this moment.
He was in a bad mood.
He’d barely had time to see Sofia at breakfast that morning before he’d had to run to the office and realizing that the duty manager was incompetent hadn’t helped the day. But the truth was, he knew it was guilt influencing him. He didn’t like thinking about moving on from Gill in any way.
He knew it was “healthy” but really that didn’t do a thing to make him feel better. He went to the little fridge in his office and opened it to see it was stocked with mineral and sparkling water and a fruit juice that he kept for Sofia’s office visits. But he wanted something stronger.
He couldn’t drink at work.
He drew the line at that. He’d prided himself on always keeping his head and not turning to any crutches during Gill’s illness or death. And he wasn’t going to start now.
Without thinking, he dialed Iona’s number and she answered on the third ring.
“It’s Mads,” he said by way of greeting.
“Hey. We still haven’t made a decision about the Loughman group.”
“Fair enough. I was calling to see if you’d like to join Sofia and me for dinner instead?”
“I’d love to,” she said, surprised by his invitation.
He gave her their apartment number and she started laughing.
“What?”
“You’re only five doors down from me,” she said.
It was funny to think she’d been living so close to him but they’d never met until he tried to do business with her.
He and Gill had been excited to move into their home in Brooklyn when they’d gotten married, and after she’d died he’d been unable to stay there any longer. He and Sofia had picked out the apartment where they lived now because it was close to her school.
“What time should I come over?” Iona asked.
Just like that, he was reminded again of how life moved on. She was still making plans for tonight while he was mired in the past. He had to do this. For Sofia. He had to figure out life without Gill.
“Six. Jessie is off tonight so we’ll be making spaghetti,” he said.
“Yum. My favorite. Can I bring something?” she asked.
“Nah. Jessie already took care of the shopping,” he said. “See you later.”
He hung up, closing the refrigerator, which he hadn’t realized he’d left open. He went back to his desk, pulling the stack of Christmas cards to him. The cards were custom made, a hand-drawn image of the Common decked out for Christmas while snow fell. He remembered approving the design back in July. He opened the first card and sprawled his signature. He made short work of the cards and then stacked them in the outbox for Lexi to take care of.
Last year he’d completely forgotten about sending personal cards to friends and family and he wondered if he should send something this year. But he had no idea where to start. It was late in the season to be thinking of this.
He leaned forward and put his forehead in his hands. Christmas. How was he going to do this? He’d never been that good at hiding his emotions. He had a quick temper and no real poker face to speak of so everyone usually knew what he felt. But being a father had changed that. Had forced him to learn how to curb his reactions. But this … he realized that he’d been doing okay until this month.
The last month that Gill had been alive. After this she’d be gone a year. There would be no more first holidays without her. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
He had almost managed to dull the ache he’d felt when he thought of her death but it was back in full force. A stabbing pain in his heart — not literally — but still there. And he’d invited another woman for spaghetti night. He knew he shouldn’t have, but tonight he needed the distraction.
He needed to have something to smile about and no matter what else he felt about Iona, she made him laugh.
“You look like you’re ready for a fight.”
He glanced up to his see his younger brother Piers standing in the doorway. “Is that why you’re here?”
“It wasn’t my original intention but I’m always happy to oblige.”
Mads smiled. He got up and went around his desk to hug his brother. “I’ve got a meeting with the Food Network to possibly use the Los Angeles location for a new show they are doing. It wrapped up early so I thought I’d check in on you.”
“I’m glad you did,” Mads said. “We’ve got the usual odd crap going on at the hotel. A leak over the merchandise shop.”
“I saw the emails about it. Did you get it sorted?” Piers asked.
“Pretty much,” he said. “Are you free for dinner?”
“If it means seeing my favorite niece, then yes,” Piers said.
“She’s your only one,” Mads reminded him. Having his brother at dinner would mean it wasn’t a date with Iona. There would be no chance of anything untoward. Which didn’t explain why he wanted to punch something.
“And my favorite.”