The High Line wasn’t that busy early the next morning when she went to meet Cici and Hayley. They found a bench with a nice view of the city. Cici had brought along pain au chocolate from Sant Ambrose and mochas for all of them. The snow had let up and the three of them sat close together on the bench sipping their drinks.
“So …” Cici said, the steam from her mocha fogged up her glasses and her friend took them off to clear them.
“So?” Iona asked. She wasn’t sure where to start when it came to Mads.
“Um … you showed up at the party alone last night, for starters,” Hayley said. “Then a little girl arrives by herself and asks for you and then Hottie Mcbody shows up and you’re not sure what we want to know about?”
She smiled at Hayley calling Mads Hottie Mcbody. “Okay. I know what you are curious about, but I’m not sure where to begin.”
“Start with the hottie,” Cici said. “He was very sweet on the couch with you and his daughter but when he looked at you, I could tell there was more going on there.”
“Well, you know he’s the CEO of Loughman Hotel Group. We do need to finish that discussion and give him an answer, by the way.”
“I’m leaning towards no,” Hayley said. “I don’t like the idea of training chefs to do what I do instinctively. I’m not saying I’m the only one who could do it but the three of us have a vision for the Candied Apple and it’s not something I think other chocolatiers will automatically get.”
“Fair enough,” Cici said. “I have run some numbers that might change your mind, but let’s discuss that back in the office. I want to hear about Mads and Iona.”
Mads and Iona.
Her heart beat a little faster at the thought of them as a couple. They were sort of friends but still both were guarded.
“His wife — Sofia’s mom — died last year on December 27. So, he’s dealing with the first holiday without her. And Sofia doesn’t believe in Santa but I think she wants to and it’s just complicated.”
“It makes sense if her mommy died at Christmas. She probably would have asked Santa to make her better,” Hayley said. “I know I was sixteen when my mom got diagnosed and I prayed a lot and asked Santa to help her too.”
Iona thought about all that the three of them had been through together. How she’d always known with them by her side she would survive anything. She wanted something more from Mads than just friendship. And she realized she’d been hedging her bets with him. Trying to protect herself from caring too much for him or even for Sofia.
She couldn’t keep on doing that.
Hayley wrapped her arm around Iona’s shoulders. “That sounds like a lot to take on.”
“I know. I’ve tried to keep my distance but it’s so hard not to fall for the two of them. Sofia is so precious and I think she really needs me. You’ve seen how she keeps coming around the shop.”
“Yes,” Cici said. “That’s what I mean. Be careful about getting involved with her dad. If you sleep together and break it off … she might get hurt and she’s already lost one mother.”
Too late, she thought. “I would never cut her out of my life.”
“He might be the one to do it,” Hayley said.
“I know that too.” Iona admitted that was one of her biggest fears.
Cici hugged her and then she felt Hayley’s arm still around her. These women were more than friends to her. They were her sisters, in a way, and she was so grateful for them. “He was determined to make it a good evening for both of us, but in my mind, there is always Gill hanging around.”
She hugged her friends and then got to her feet to go toss out her mocha, which was getting cold from the temperature. “Thanks, guys. I think I’ve been afraid to really let myself be involved.”
“We know you have,” Cici said. “You’ve driven us from the moment we had the idea to get the store open and running and then you spearheaded the marketing so we could be as successful as we are today. You put everything into the Candied Apple Café.”
“I have,” she admitted. “Theo thinks I’m trying to prove something to my father.”
“I think so too,” Hayley said. “You know how my dad is, so I get it. But you’re much better now. I mean, you said we could all take Saturday off to go to the New York Ballet Nutcracker performance.”
“Ha,” Iona said, knowing Hayley was teasing her. “I didn’t mean you could have the entire day off.”
They laughed and joked before going their separate ways and Iona looked out at the City, remembering all the lessons her father had taught her. She knew how to run a campaign, how to lure investors and how to keep her company running a profit. But he’d never taught her how to balance both and until she’d met Mads and Sofia she hadn’t considered that a liability.
***
Sofia had her headphones on when he got home from work that evening. Jessie had already given her dinner and then had plans with friends for the evening, so she’d waved goodbye as he’d walked in the door. He’d resisted the urge to text Iona. He’d gone to her last night and he didn’t want to seem like he was coming on too strong.
It had been a long time since he’d dated or even thought about a woman the way he was thinking about Iona and he didn’t want to come across as too needy.
Maybe getting involved with a woman at the first Christmas he’d been single wasn’t the best idea.
He sat on the couch next to his daughter, reading work emails, but not really paying attention to them.
“Papa?”
He glanced over at Sofia, who had put her headphones on her lap and closed her tablet. “Yes.”
“What are our holiday traditions?” she asked.
Where was this coming from, he wondered? They hadn’t really had time to establish many traditions with Sofia before Gill had gotten sick. “Well … I don’t think we have any, Sof. Do you want to start some?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and tipped her head to the side, considering things, he knew from past experience. “I think so. This is the first Christmas without Mommy and all.”
“It is,” he said, watching her carefully. Most of the time she seemed okay emotionally, but Mads felt like this was something new. He scooted closer to his daughter on the couch. “I’m afraid I don’t know where to start with traditions. Uncle Piers and I used to make strings of popcorn for the tree with our mom when we were little. Do you want to do that?”
“We don’t even have a tree,” she pointed out.
“Want to get one?” he asked. In Christmases past, they’d spent most of their time at the hospital and had a tabletop ceramic tree that had painted-on ornaments and lights.
She nodded. “I think I would. Is that okay?”
He hugged her close and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Of course, it is. Let me Google where we can get a tree and we’ll go get one.”
“Tonight?”
“Why not? We don’t have to be anywhere until tomorrow afternoon for the Nutcracker,” he said.
“I can’t wait for that. Jessie took me to get a new dress today.”
“I know,” he said. “Do you want to model it for me?”
“No, I’ll wait until tomorrow,” she said. “I want to get a tree.”
He took out his phone and searched for a Christmas tree lot and found there was one not too far from their apartment building, but they were closed. “We will have to go in the morning. How about tonight we go and look at the shop windows on Fifth Avenue?”
“Can Iona go with us?”
“We can ask her. She might be busy,” he said.
“She might not be,” Sofia said. “I’ll go and ask her.”
“Get ready first so we go whatever she says.”
“Yay!” Sofia said, skipping out of the room to her bedroom. She came back a few minutes later wearing her coat, stocking cap and holding her mittens.
“I’m ready.”
“I can see that.”
Mads put on his coat and then held the door open for his daughter. They walked slowly down the hall toward Iona’s apartment, Sofia talking the entire time, telling him about the traditions of her classmates. Even Remy had traditions, Sofia informed him. Though given that he was so annoying they probably weren’t good ones.
He stopped in front of Iona’s door, looking at the cheerful wreath and remembering last night, when he’d stood in the same spot with a bottle of Baileys in one hand. Sofia knocked on the door before he could stop her.
He suddenly wished he’d said no when she’d suggested inviting Iona. But he knew that Sofia was trying to get through this first Christmas the same way he was. The one without Mommy. And if he had to see the woman who was making him feel all sort of emotions that he wished he could deny having, then he’d do it.
The door opened and Sofia waved at Iona.
“Hi! Papa and I are going to look at the Christmas windows, wanna come?” Sofia asked.
Iona stooped down to Sofia’s level and gave his daughter a warm smile. “I’d love to. Let me grab my coat and purse and I’ll be ready to go.”
“Okay,” Sofia said.
Iona left the door open as she stepped back inside and a few minutes later she was back wearing her Santa hat with the jingle bell on it, a red wool coat, and a pair of boots. She stepped out of her apartment, closing the door and checking that it was locked, and took Sofia’s hand as they walked towards the elevators.
Mads followed after them, trying to tell himself that this was for Sofia so it didn’t matter that Iona hadn’t looked him in the eye. But he knew it did matter. Last night had changed something inside of him. And as much as he wanted to pretend that it had simply been another milestone that was helping to heal his grief from being alone, he knew that it was more.
That he wanted Iona’s smiles to be directed at him as well as at Sofia. He didn’t want her coming along to talk only to his daughter. And he knew that he could either just follow behind them, as she clearly intended for him to do, or he could remember the man he’d been before Gill had gotten sick.
When they all stepped out of the building, he took Iona’s free hand in his and led the way toward Fifth Avenue.
“Do you mind walking?” he asked. “It’s such a nice evening.”
“Not at all,” Iona said, looking pointedly at their joined hands and then back at him.
He just smiled at her. Let her guess at his intentions. He had no clue what was going on behind her pretty brown eyes.