Chapter Forty
Ethan
"Smile for the camera," someone said. I put my arm around Kayla and I stared into the lens with my best grin as she smiled radiantly beside me. The view of the ocean was behind us, with the sun starting to set on the horizon, creating a stunning background for the perfect picture.
"Perfect, thanks." The photographer looked at the image on his digital camera, and nodded with satisfaction. "This will be the new cover of Speed Magazine."
"I don't think so. I'm not the model; my wife is." I swiped at him, trying to grab the camera, but he moved just out of my reach.
Joey was one of Kayla's favorite photographers and followed her everywhere. She was as used to having her picture taken as she was breathing air, but I found it a little harder to get used to.
"That's what makes this perfect," Joey said in response to my objection. "The owner and CEO of the company Ethan Colson celebrating his one-year anniversary with the love of his life, supermodel Kayla Brandt-Colson. The two of you are one of the world's hottest couples and the media will eat it up.
“People will be clamoring to read next month's issue of Speed Magazine when they see this image of you and Kayla cheek to cheek on the cover. Now give me one more shot, this time of the two of you kissing."
"No way; our intimate personal time is private. No photography. Now get out of here before I'm forced to fire you and take your camera," I shouted out, but there was no anger in my voice, just love for my wife.
Joey was right; the public craved images of us together, and since we kept our private life well-guarded, images of us as a couple were rare, making them even more sought after. We had a contract with Joey that we would buy any photographs he took that we didn't want to go public. It kept him loyal to us and gave us control of all photos seen by the public.
"How do you deal with having your picture taking all day? It's exhausting," I said to Kayla as I leaned back into a reclining chair on the beach and a waiter brought us each fresh drinks.
"It can be, but that's why I'm careful to book plenty of relaxation time between photo shoots." She grinned at me, and her smile was even more radiant than it had been a moment ago.
Being with just one woman made her even sexier to me than a string of one-night stands. I knew Kayla's body better than anyone and could make her orgasm with just a touch. Nothing could be hotter, and as impossible as it was, I swear her breasts seemed to have gotten even bigger and her hips were definitely rounder. She was becoming softer and more voluptuous, and I wanted to make love to her constantly, and she responded to my touch with the same passionate desire. A full year into our marriage, and we were still fucking like newlyweds.
"What do you want to do for our anniversary tonight?" I asked her. "The sky's the limit."
"Well, you've already brought me here to this tropical island. We're staying in our own private bungalow right on the beach, and this morning, we made love under a waterfall in that secluded lake we found hidden in the jungle. We were serenaded by parrots and wild birds, and then served this fantastic lunch of fish caught fresh from the ocean this morning. What more could a girl want?"
"There has to be something special you want to do," I insisted. "You worked so hard last month, I only saw you a few days. You're becoming as bad of a workaholic as I used to be. I want to make sure you don't forget how to relax and have fun."
"Oh, don't worry about that. I plan on taking lots of time off very shortly. We'll spend days hanging out in the park, taking long walks, and just enjoying life."
"So, why were you working so much? I know that the year we were engaged, your modeling career far surpassed just being the ad-campaign girl for Speed Motorcycles. Within months of our engagement, you were being asked to model for the covers of major magazines and posed for some of the top companies in the country.
“Major corporations would fly you around the world, and offered you huge salaries, to pose with their products or to put your face on their magazine ads. Your rise to fame was unprecedented."
"That still drives you crazy," she teased me, and I leaned over from to chair to swat her ass playfully in mock aggravation. She raised up her ripe buttocks, allowing me to make contact with her round cheek, and when it vibrated under the impact of my palm, we both felt a thrill.
"No, it doesn't. I'm secure enough in my manhood to let my wife thrive. Besides, I'm proud of you."
"So why are you going on about it?" she taunted, making me grin. She'd gotten up from her beach recliner and straddled me on mine so she could tickle my chest with her manicured fingernails.
I put my hands on her waist and slid them up her pale body to cup her breasts. Fondling them gently, I said to her, "Because, you've been able to set your own demands and work schedule for almost two years straight now. You've always been really good about keeping your work schedule within reason so we'd have enough time to spend together. Having you out on photoshoots all day, every day for nearly a month was tougher on me than I'd like to admit."
"Sorry, but I needed to get in as much work as I could before my body starts to change and I can't model anymore. This last month may mark the end of my career for quite a long time."
"What are you talking about? Is this because you’re getting older? Don't worry, sweetheart. The shelf life of a model is short, but it's not that short. You still have plenty of years left to enjoy your career."
"Oh, I know that. But if I lose my skinny body, then I won't be as marketable. Besides, I don't think I'll want to work anymore, at least not for a few years. I think I'll want to stay at home, like my mother did."
"Don't tell me you’re burnt out on your career already? You've only been doing it a few years and you act like you really love it. Some days when you come home from work, you're smiling so big, I wonder if I shouldn't be jealous that you love your career more than you love me."
It was a joke and she giggled. Tickling my chest again, she said with a smile, "Don't worry, I don't love anything more than you. It's just that I'm pregnant."
"What?" I sat up straight so suddenly, I nearly knocked her off my lap. "I don't think I heard you right. Say that again."
"I'm pregnant." She was absolutely beaming as she smiled at me. I'd never seen her looking more radiantly beautiful.
"Are you sure? I thought you were on the pill." I gaped like a moron.
"I was, but it's not a hundred percent effective. I went to see my doctor when I had the flu last month, and she told me that it was morning sickness. I was six-weeks pregnant."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I was still in shock and didn't know how to feel.
"Because I knew you would worry and make me quit my job."
"Damn right, I would. You can't be on your feet all day in harsh weather conditions with nothing on but a bikini, keeping your weight down by starving yourself. My baby needs good nutrition, and his mother needs to pamper herself and relax." I was instantly protective and felt a glow in my heart I knew was pride and pure love.
"So, I told my agent, and he got my clients to compact their photo shoots into a one-month period of time. I was able to complete all the work I had committed to for the rest of the season in just four, short weeks, and now I'm officially on hiatus. I won't be accepting any new modeling jobs until after the baby is born, and maybe not at all."
"You're really doing this?" I could hardly believe how rapidly our lives had changed, and she nodded her head. I could see from the smile in her eyes and the glow in her cheeks that she was really happy, and I was, too.
Just over two, short years ago, I'd thought I was living the dream life with my secretary blowing me under my mahogany desk in my billion-dollar company offices, but I'd never been more wrong.
True happiness wasn't money, empty affairs, or even success. True happiness was this right here: having found someone you love who loves you, too, and turning that passion into a baby to raise and love together.
As I kissed Kayla with the tropical beach behind us and felt the love we had for each other envelop us, I knew that at long last, I had healed the wounds of my youth and was truly living the dream every man wanted, and I was going to enjoy every moment of it.
PROTECTOR BOX SET
The Complete Series
By Claire Adams
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 Claire Adams
PROTECTOR #1
“Absolutely ridiculous,” I muttered into my phone as I stomped across campus on the way to my first class of the day. “This is outrageous, Father! I don’t need a stupid bodyguard to follow me around all the time!”
“Ava, you are being unreasonable,” Joseph Klein admonished. “Your mother and I feel it is a necessary precaution if you want to stay in school. Your safety is our primary concern.”
“But lots of girls have ex-boyfriends who are idiots and their parents don’t hire bodyguards!” I yelled in exasperation. I was embarrassed that my parents had gone behind my back and hired this blockheaded mercenary to follow me around campus when I had assured them that there was no threat. “Who is this meathead anyway? How do you know he’s even capable of protecting me?”
“Young lady, Mr. Flynn is a former Navy SEAL who has seen and done more in his life than you could ever dream of,” my father replied. “He was recommended by a business colleague who used him to protect his son while he was on a study abroad session in Egypt, and they got along famously.”
“Oh, big whoop,” I blurted. “So he’s buddy-buddy with some kid who spent a summer looking at sand and pyramids, and suddenly you think this is a great idea to emulate? That all kids should have bodyguards?”
“We don’t trust Dominic,” came my father’s no-nonsense response. “End of argument, young lady. If you want to stay in school, then you accept that you will need protection until we deem it safe.”
“Oh my God!” I cried. “I’m not 10 years old! I’m so sick of the way you treat me like I’m fragile. Why didn’t I have a say in this? You probably hired some old military guy who wishes he was back in Iraq, not guarding some college student who doesn’t need protection! Do I have to talk to him?”
“Ava Marie Klein,” my father warned. “Mr. Flynn is an experienced personal security expert who is going to follow you around campus until we’ve determined that there is no longer a threat. You will not be anything but absolutely polite to him, do you understand me?”
“Fine!” I hissed. “I’ll deal with it, but this had better not go on the whole semester! It’s going to be humiliating to have to explain why I have some meathead following me everywhere, and my friends are going to think he’s spying on them, too!”
“Cool the dramatics, young lady,” my father warned. “We’ve hired a young man who is experienced at this type of thing and knows how to be discreet. If you behave and follow directions, you probably won’t even know he’s there.”
“Oh right,” I replied. “No one will notice the guy following me everywhere. Sure, sure.”
“Ava,” my father’s voice dropped into the low range he used when he was warning me that he was about to run out of patience.
“Okay, fine. I’ll behave like a good girl and let the big, bad security detail sweep me off my feet and ensure my safe return to the castle,” I said in an airy tone designed to defuse the tension.
“Young lady, you try my patience,” her father replied. “I’ve got to go, I’ve got a meeting in five minutes. Do you need anything else?”
“No, I’m fine, but —” I began, only to be met with the sound of the phone line disconnecting.
*****
I sighed as I scanned the screen one more time before tucking the phone into my pocket. My father had said the security detail would meet me in front of Brody Hall, and I was fully expecting an old, grey-haired man with a crew cut, sunglasses, and a Secret Service suit to follow me all over campus before reporting back to my father. Hopefully, this charade of parental concern would only last a week or two and then I could go back to living a normal life on campus.
I scanned the front of the building, but didn’t see anybody who looked like an official bodyguard. The only person standing in front of Brody was a guy who looked too young and hot to have been hired by my father, and a small smile spread across my lips when I noticed the scowl on his handsome face as he checked his watch; whoever he was waiting for was going to get an earful, but from those lips it might not be so bad. When he looked back up, the scowl had disappeared, replaced by a raised eyebrow and pursed lips as he began to walk toward me.
“Ava Klein? I’m Brian Flynn,” he said as he extended a large hand and waited for me to reciprocate. “You’re late.”
“Excuse me?” I replied.
“You’re late,” he repeated as he continued holding a hand out for me to shake. “I was told you’d be here at 8:30 am, and it’s now 8:42. That means you’re late.”
I stood staring at this broad-shouldered man who was simultaneously trying to engage and scold me, and I shook as I tried to contain my rage. How dare he!
“You’re the guy who is going to follow me around?” My incredulous tone caused his scowl to return as he dropped his hand and stared at me. “My father hired you? You’re barely older than I am! How on earth does he think you’re going to protect me?”
“I’m 32 and I’m not in the habit of having to explain myself to the people I’m hired to protect,” his voice cut through my mini temper tantrum, stopping it cold. “But yes, your father hired me to be in charge of your security while you’re on campus. As far as my credentials go, your father had me fully investigated and feels confident that I’m capable of protecting you, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
“Fully checked out, eh?” I sarcastically replied as I rolled my eyes. “Well, I’m totally reassured. What exactly are your credentials, Mr. Flynn?”
“I’ve got a degree in criminology from Michigan State, I’m certified in tactical force, personal protection, and close range weapons usage, and I’ve earned a black belt in karate,” he dutifully ran down his resume while I looked at him with one eyebrow raised. “And I’m a former Navy SEAL; is that good enough for you, Ms. Klein?”
“It seems as if you know what you’re doing,” I retorted. I was impressed with his background, but I wasn’t about to show him that given the way he’d tried to lecture me a few minutes before. “And now that we’ve gotten that worked out, just how long do you think you’ll be employing these outstanding credentials, Mr. Flynn?”
“As long as it takes to ensure your safety,” he responded, and then added, “Ma’am.”
Is he mocking me? I wondered as I looked more closely at my knight in a hoodie and Nike tennis shoes and thought, He looks like a total frat boy, but at least he’s easy on the eyes.
“Fine,” I grudgingly conceded. “But you need to get something straight, right here and now. You work for me, and if I want to be late, I’ll be late, and you’ll shut up and follow. Got it?”
“Oh, I’ve got it, alright,” Brian said, the corners of his lips twitching ever so slightly.
That jerk! Is he laughing at me? I wondered as I glanced down at my watch and realized that class was about to start.
I nodded, flipped my long brown hair over one shoulder, and turned toward the classroom, looking over my shoulder as I called back, “Good, I’m glad we understand each other. Now, let’s move, move, move soldier!”
“That’s sailor, ma’am,” he quietly corrected.
“What?” I was getting irritated.
“Members of the Navy are sailors, not soldiers,” he explained.
“Whatever! Just get a move on it or I’m going to be late to class!” I shouted at him over my shoulder as I picked up my pace and headed for my psychology class.
I could hear him trailing behind me as I quick-stepped my way to class. My professor hated it when we were late, and he’d threatened to lock the doors when Jessie and Lara arrived late for the second time that week. I didn’t think he’d do it, but I didn’t want to put that thought to a test.
Behind me, he was silent. I felt like I should make some kind of conversation with him, but since I had no idea what to say. Besides, I was still pissed at both him and my father for engaging in this silly little exercise. I didn’t need a bodyguard, but it seemed that if I put up a fight, it would only make things more difficult. What I really wanted to do was dismiss him on the spot and then call my father and tell him to stay out of my business once and for all, but I knew from experience that telling my father to butt out was the best way to ensure that he had a hand in my business, albeit a distant one.
As I walked briskly across campus, I kept looking back over my shoulder to see if the bodyguard was still there. What is his name? Brad? Brandon? Oh, yeah, Brian. Every time I did it, I felt like an idiot for caring whether he was there or not. After all, he was there to serve and protect me, not the other way around.
I couldn’t get a clear look at him as we trotted along, and as I replayed our little conversation, I felt like there was something familiar about the look in his eyes, but the thought slipped from my mind as the phone in my pocket began buzzing. I pulled it out and saw a message from Jess asking where I was. I quickly texted back, “On my way” and then stuffed the phone back in my pocket.
Another look over my shoulder told me that Brian was still on my heels. We were almost in the center of campus now, and I was aware that people were looking at the odd paring of the Klein girl and the guy who was following her, but I’d grown used to the stares in my time at this school and I shrugged them off as I scanned the quad for Jessie and Lara.
“Oh my God, Ava!” squealed Lara. “What is going on here? Who’s the hottie following you?”
I rolled my eyes dramatically and sighed, “He’s a gift from my father. Jessie and Lara, meet Brian. Brian, meet Jessie and Lara. They’re my best friends and they are do not pose a threat to my safety in any way.”
“It’s nice to meet you, ladies,” Brian said as he nodded politely at them both and then with a wry grin added, “It’s good to know that I won’t have to use force on either of you.”
“Oh, you can feel free to use force on me anytime!” Lara purred as she gave my bodyguard the once-over.
“Lara!” I objected. “Do you always have to be in seduction mode?”
“Well, he’s cute,” she pouted. “You know how I am around cute guys!”
“You have got to be kidding me,” I said as I turned and gave Brian an apologetic look before addressing the girls. “I’m being followed by a guy who my father has hired to monitor my every move and you are talking about how hot he is and trying to flirt with him? What is wrong with you two?”
“There’s nothing wrong with us, Ava,” Jessie interjected. “We just appreciate his rugged good looks and his finely-tuned bod!”
I peeked over at Brian and realized that he wasn’t listening to anything we were saying, but was instead scanning the quad area, presumably looking for potential threats to my safety. I rolled my eyes and looked back at Jess and Lara who were now whispering conspiratorially as they continued assessing Brian’s body and giggling about what they’d do with it.
“So, what’s the deal with this guy?” Lara whispered.
“My father thinks that this is the best solution to the Dominic problem,” I replied as I rolled my eyes.
Lara and Jessie groaned as the three of us rolled our eyes. They’d grown up with me and knew how little interest my parents had taken in me unless it had to do with the family business or the family name, and while they knew that things hadn’t gone so well with Dominic, they didn’t know the whole story. No one did, and I preferred to keep it that way.
“Apparently he thinks that by bringing in the big guns, he’ll make me feel like he actually cares about my safety,” I told them in a matter-of-fact voice. “I say, whatever floats his boat. In two weeks he’s going to lose interest in trying to protect his little girl, and I’ll be able to ditch the security detail and go back to normal.”
“Well, at least we’ll have something to look at while you’re waiting for your time in house arrest to be up!” Jessie squealed.
“I’m not under house arrest, Jessie,” I corrected. “I’m simply being tailed 24/7. Big difference. If my father ever tried to keep me confined to my apartment, I’d totally lose it!”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hit a sore spot,” Jessie apologized.
“Nah, it’s fine,” I brushed off her apology and turned to see what Brian was doing. His eyes constantly scanned the surrounding area and it was starting to creep me out a bit. I wasn’t worried about what Dominic was going to do, but Brian’s vigilant watch was already getting to me.
“Besides, you know that my father doesn’t know the first thing about me or what’s going on in my life anyway,” I asserted. “He’s just using this as a way to garner sympathy and use it to promote himself by claiming that his poor daughter is a victim of some crazy ex-boyfriend.”
“He never met Dominic, did he?” Lara asked.
“Nope,” I replied. “Never had time to stop in town and have dinner or anything.”
“Man, I know my family is a mess, but your dad takes the cake, girl!” Lara’s sympathetic tone was almost more than I could handle, so I laughed lightly before turning and motioning them on to class.
When we finally reached the classroom, I breezed right in and dropped my things on my usual desk before I turned around and noticed that Brian was nowhere to be seen. I slung my purse over my shoulder and headed back out the door, motioning to Jessie that I’d be right back.
“What’s the matter?” I asked when I found Brian leaning against the wall across the hall from the door to my Psych class. “Do you have something against psychology?”
“Not as a tool of learning, but —” he replied.
“But what?” I pushed. I noticed the way he avoided looking at me as he scanned the corridor, opened his mouth to speak, stopped and scanned again, and then closed his lips and shook his head.
“Never mind,” he muttered.
“No, that’s not fair!” I protested. “You don’t get to start to say something and then stop.”
“Look, Ms. Klein,” he explained. “I’m here to ensure your safety, I’m not here to joke around and be your buddy. It’s best if you just act like I’m part of the surroundings rather than someone you can chat with, okay? It’s for your own good. Believe me.”
“That’s about the most idiotic thing anyone has ever said to me,” I shot back. I was angry that he’d cut me off when I was trying to be nice about this whole thing. After all, it was my privacy that was being invaded by his job, and I hadn’t asked him to do it. When I’m mad, I get very sarcastic, and I turned that on him as I asked, “So, are you going to sit in on class or is your bias too great to allow you to enter the room?”
“Actually, I think it’s best if I don’t invade every aspect of your personal life,” he said as he fixed his steel blue eyes on my face. “I will secure the spaces you are in, and then I’ll back off and let you do your thing. During class, I’ll be out here in the hallway.”
“And if I have to go to the bathroom?” I said in a snippy tone. “What are you going to do then?”
“I’ve secured the bathroom on this floor, so you’re free to use it if you need to,” he replied in the same even tone.
“Oh my God,” I laughed as I turned on my heel and headed back into the room. “You’re really taking this way too seriously.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Ms. Klein,” he said in a voice tinged with the hint of sadness.
When I snuck a look over my shoulder before I shut the door, I could see him scanning the hallway for the hundredth time, and murmured, “Well, you’re certainly vigilant, I’ll give you that.”
*****
I tried to focus on Professor Blake’s lecture, but my mind was racing a mile a minute as I thought about how pissed I was at my father for forcing Brian on me. None of this would make any difference in our father-daughter relationship, whatever there was of that. It was true that we’d never been close, but he’d never played the “dad card” the way he was right now, so I was suspicious of all the sudden concern for my well-being. Something strange was going on with my parents, but I had no idea what it was.
“Good morning, everyone,” began Professor Blake. “Today we’re covering chapter 23 in our textbook. We’ll be talking about the evolutionary brain and how it relates to what has been commonly labeled Stockholm Syndrome. Now, can one of you who have read the chapter tell me what evolutionary brain function has to do with today’s topic?”
“Hunter-gatherers were designed to solve certain problems!” came an eager response from the back of the room.
“Correct, Justin,” replied Professor Blake. “And what was one specific problem that they had to solve, specifically the problem that women had to solve?”
“Abduction of women would be used as a mechanism of asserting strength and increasing the size of a tribe, and women who resisted would often be subjected to deadly violence so they had to learn to give in without actually giving in, if that makes sense.” As usual, Lara summarized the issue in a succinct sentence.
“Very good, Lara!” Professor Blake exclaimed.
As I looked over my shoulder and gave Lara a thumbs up, I caught sight of Brian standing guard out in the hall, and again, my blood began to boil as I reminded myself that my father, the one who was so overly concerned with my safety, had never even met Dominic. Come to think of it, my father had never made the time to come to campus and see what was going on or even offer to come see me. Instead, every year he’d assign one of his minions to pack up the car, drive me to school, and drop me off in my dorm room, and the night before he’d come in and hand over cash, one new credit card for all my school expenses, and another one “for fun,” he’d say with a wink and a nod, then I’d roll my eyes and tuck the cards in my wallet. It became our yearly ritual.
Sometimes during the year, I’d fly to New York and go on a huge shopping spree just to see what he’d say when he got the bill, but he never said anything; not even when I spent over $15,000 on clothes and shoes in one trip to Dior. I’m not sure he even noticed.
“What do you think, Ava? Do you agree with Jessie?” Professor Blake’s voice cut through my thoughts, pulling me away from my family and bringing me back to the classroom.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” I apologized as I turned beet red from the embarrassment of being caught off guard.
“Ah ha, I see,” he nodded and then rephrased the question. “What is the base definition of Stockholm Syndrome? What makes it so powerful?”
“That the victim finds a way to identify with the abductor and actually falls for him,” I said without hesitation.
“Good, good!” he encouraged. “Can you tell me more about it, Ava? What’s the danger?”
“That the captive empathizes so much with the abductor that they see the abuse as kindness…” my voice trailed off.
“Yes! Excellent answer, Ava!” Professor Blake crowed as he turned his attention back to the whiteboard at the front of the room, where he began writing terms and asking other students to define them.
I sat quietly, listening to my classmates calling out the answers to questions the professor asked in rapid fire, and wondered if Brian was still out in the hallway. I quickly turned to check and caught his eye before he turned and scanned the corridor again.
I wasn’t scared, but something felt off, and I didn’t know what it was.
*****
“What did he say about the exam, Ava?” Lara was tugging on the back of my shirt. “Did he say it was 50 percent of our grade?”
“No, he said the essay would be 50 percent of the exam grade,” I answered in an irritated tone. “God, Lara! Would you just slow down and listen every once in a while?”
Lara’s pouty lower lip told me that I’d hit a nerve, so when I finished packing up my things, I stood and put an arm around the tiny redhead and said, “C’mon, cheer up! You answered so many questions right today that you’re bound to be on Professor Blake’s good side. I’m sure he’ll cut you slack on the essay.”
“I did do a good job, didn’t I?” Lara chirped, and my scolding was completely forgotten - or at least, forgiven.
Brian was waiting outside of the classroom, but I ignored him as I linked arms with the girls and said, “Let’s go get something to eat, I’m starving!” Lara and Jessie enthusiastically agreed that burgers were just what we needed, so we headed over to Five Guys and proceeded to polish off enough food to keep us full while we studied all afternoon. Halfway through the meal, Jessie elbowed me and quietly asked if we should order something for Brian.
I shrugged and felt a little guilty, but when I turned toward him, I saw he was positioned in a corner table eating his lunch while scanning the premises for any threats. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the girls. “Apparently he can take care of himself,” I reported with just a hint of sarcasm.
I’m not sure why I felt so angry at Brian. He’d had nothing to do with the situation and he was only doing the job he’d been hired to do. My real beef was with my father, so I vowed to refrain from taking it out on Brian anymore. I’d just ignore him and go about my life as I had before he’d arrived. If he was really good at his job, he’d find a way to keep up with me.
For the rest of the day I tried to ignore the large, muscled man tagging after me, but the people around me made it difficult as they gave me funny looks and then stopped to whisper to each other as they looked back and forth between me and Brian. It didn’t faze me too much since I’d grown up in a family with money and was used to being stared at, but the attention that Brian brought was on a whole other level. His handsome good looks caused women to literally stop and stare, and then when they noticed that he was walking a few feet behind me, they’d make a comment about me just loud enough for me to hear.
The last straw for me was when I stopped in the bookstore to pick up the study guide for the Psych exam and overheard two of the cashiers talking about me. Their backs were turned to the registers, so they didn’t see me walk up behind them and place my items on the counter.
“I heard the bodyguard was hired to ensure that no one talks to her unless she acknowledges them,” whispered the girl with the mousy brown hair to her friend, a tall blonde with a buzz cut and a pierced nose.
“Oh, I heard it was because she carries so much cash on her that it’s dangerous for her to be out in public!” the blonde replied excitedly as she twisted the ring in her nostril.
I cleared my throat and looked away, embarrassed that I’d overheard them. The mousy girl spun around and I watched as the color drain from her face, and wondered if she was going to faint.
“I’m…I’m…I’m…so sorry!” she stammered.
“It’s okay,” I said shrugging. “It happens all the time.”
She rang up my purchase without saying anything. She didn’t even tell me the total, so I slid my card through the reader and punched in the code. I could see her searching for something to say that would erase the shame of having been caught talking about me, but I had nothing to offer because I was so aggravated by Brian’s presence and the fact that he was the reason this was happening. And then it came to me.
As I grabbed my bag off of the counter, I leaned in and quietly said, “Actually, neither theory is correct. He’s an actor friend of my dad’s who is researching a role for a movie. It’s annoying, but you know…” and I turned and shrugged toward Brian.
The girl said nothing, she simply nodded as I swung the bag off the counter and walked out the front door. The whole way back to my dorm, I fumed about my father’s decision to upend my life on campus and give people yet another reason to stare at me and talk about me. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized she’d forgotten to give me a receipt, but I wasn’t terribly annoyed because on the walk home my resentment had morphed into a plan to get rid of Brian and get my father to leave me alone.
*****
Around 8 o’clock, I stuck my head out the door of my dorm room, and sure enough, Brian was standing in the hallway scanning the premises as usual.
“Hey, I’m planning to head out for a run,” I told him. “Care to join me?”
“Only if you’re going to head over to the track,” he replied. “It’s the only place I can guarantee your safety.”
“Oh my God!” I shouted. “Would you please knock it off with the stupid guaranteed safety stuff? You sound like an ad for medical alert devices or something — and I’m not old!”
“Just doing my job, Ms. Klein,” he replied, but I swore I could see a hint of a smile forming around the edge of his lips.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I replied, waving him off like a pesky fly. “Fine, we’ll go over to the track and run. Happy now?”
“It’s not about my happiness, ma’am,” he responded seriously. “It’s about your safety.”
“Argh!” I let out an exasperated sigh as I slammed the door to my room and went to change into my running clothes. I emerged 10 minutes later ready to do some good, hard running to work off the frustration I’d been feeling all day, and eager to see if my plan would work.
Brian followed close behind me, not speaking, just maintaining a close watch on our surroundings. When we entered the gate surrounding the track, he held up a hand and made me walk behind him as he checked out the area before signaling it was safe for me to run. My irritation with this whole setup was palpable, and I had half a mind to tell him how incredibly ridiculous it was getting, but then I remembered my plan so I shut up and rolled my eyes as I stretched. Once I was warmed up, I looked over at Brian to get the go-ahead; he nodded, and I took off at a slow pace.
Thankfully he didn’t run with me.
Instead, he continued scanning the area as he perched on the bleachers and maintained surveillance of the entire area. I rolled my eyes again at his vigilance and picked up my pace. It felt good to let off some of the steam that had been building all day, and after a couple of laps, I felt warmed up enough to begin devising a way to put my plan into action. The bright lights that illuminated the track reached into the dark edges of the field and then tapered off past the fence line. I made note of the trees and shrubs surrounding the fence, thinking that they’d provide excellent cover. I picked up my pace and ran a little faster as my mind raced. I knew I could do it; the question was whether Brian would figure out what I was doing in enough time to stop me. I decided that the risk was worth the payoff, and on my sixth lap around the track, I broke into a dead run heading for the darkness lining the fence on the opposite side of the field. I knew it had to be more than six feet high, but I felt certain that I’d be able to clear it quickly, and I was right.
It took less than 15 seconds for me to scale the fence and drop down on the other side. From the other side of the field, I heard Brian cursing up a storm as he tore after me, yelling, “Ava! Stop! This isn’t a smart thing to do!” And then “Dammit!” when I didn’t heed his warning.
When I looked over my shoulder to see where he was, I knew there was a good chance he’d catch up to me if I didn’t run full speed, so I put my head down and ran into the darkness as hard and fast as I could. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going, all I knew was that I needed to get away from Brian, and away from the reminder that my father didn’t care about how I felt about anything.
*****
I could feel the ground beneath my feet as I ran, and the night air provided some refreshing relief as I pumped my legs as hard as I could hoping that, since Brian didn’t know the campus as well as I did, he wouldn’t be able to catch up with me. I ran past Brody Hall and then up the hill toward the administration building. My legs were burning as I took the steps two at a time, but it was a good burn that made me feel strong and fast. I circled around to the back side of the building and ran down the steps toward the path alongside the river that ran through the center of campus. The farther I ran, the harder it became to keep the negative thoughts at bay, and tears of self-pity began to well up in my eyes. I fought them for about a half a mile, and then I let them flow warm and wet down my cheeks as I tried to outrun the pain of everything that had happened over the past year.
I learned my lesson! I started over! Why do I have to be singled out as different? Why don’t you care about me? The thoughts raced through my brain as I ran. I felt sorry for myself, but I also felt angry. Angry that my father never talked to me. Angry that he and my mother didn’t seem to want me around. And angry that I couldn’t talk to anyone about what had happened in my life.
The darkness wrapped itself around me as I ran the river path, not noticing where I was or caring where I was headed. All I cared about was leaving Brian and my father behind me. I ran until my lungs felt like they would burst and my legs felt like two lead poles, but even then, I didn’t stop.
When I finally tired enough to slow down and take stock of my surroundings, I realized I was on the outer edge of the library building. I’d run out my frustration and felt bad that I’d left Brian had no clue where I was. If my father found out, Brian would be put through the ringer, maybe even fired. And as much as I wanted to ditch the security detail, I didn’t wish my father’s angry tantrum on Brian. I didn’t need to carry the burden of feeling responsible for yet another man in my life, so I decided to turn around and head back to the track. Hopefully Brian would have gone back there to wait for me once he realized he wasn’t going to be able to follow my lead.
At the corner of the library, I turned left and hit something with such force that I found myself sprawled out on the ground on my back, trying to suck air back into my lungs. The force with which I’d hit whatever had been blocking my path had knocked the wind out of me and left me seeing stars. What the hell just happened? Did I hit my head on the sidewalk? I wondered as I looked up into the face of the one person I thought I’d never see again.
“Aren’t you out a little late, Ava?” the sinister voice slithered its way into my ears and made me shudder. “Nice girls like you shouldn’t be out running around in the dark, you never know who you’ll run into.”
When I was finally able to take a deep breath and refill my lungs, I looked up and saw Dominic standing over me. Illuminated in the artificial glow of the halogen lights outside the library, he looked almost ghostly. His blond hair glowed and his ice blue eyes had a sickly shine. He was holding out his hand and smiling that same crazy smile he’d had on his face when I walked out the door of his apartment after telling him I’d never come back. I ignored his hand, took another deep breath, and quickly pushed myself back up to my feet as I moved away from his creepy smile. I didn’t move fast enough, though, and before I knew it, he had his hands wrapped tightly around my upper arms as he stared at my face.
“Ava, you know how much I still love you, don’t you?” his voice had that psychotic pleading tone to it. The one that I knew would lead to nothing good if I didn’t escape his grasp.
“I know you do, Dominic,” I said in a soothing voice. “I know you think you love me, but you don’t. You know that, don’t you? This isn’t love.”
“I’ve always loved you, Kitten. Always,” he repeated. I hated that nickname, it always made me feel like a small, helpless creature, and now his icy blue eyes were fixed on me. I felt like prey for the predator. “You have always been the center of my world and I’ve always loved you.”
“Dominic —” I began.
“We used to be so good together, Ava!” he cried. “We used to do things and laugh and have fun, don’t you remember? We could be like that again, but you have to come back!”
“Dominic, you and I broke up because you cheated on me!” I yelled.
“That was nothing! It was a meaningless fling with some bimbo from my English class. She meant absolutely nothing to me. I swear!” his grip on my arm grew tighter and his voice took on a menacing tone. “I never loved anyone but you, Ava. You were the only one I loved. You are the only one I will ever love.”
I shook my head as I frantically looked for someone to come out of the library and intervene, but the more I fought him, the harder he dug his fingers into my arms to make his point.
“Why won’t you take me back?” he whined.
“Dominic, you’re hurting me!” I cried out as he brought his fingers together and pinched the skin of my upper arm, and I knew he wasn’t going to let go unless I saw his point of view.
“I just don’t understand. I gave you everything! I loved you! I took care of you! I worshipped the ground you walked on! And you just left me. Alone.”
“Dominic, that wasn’t love, that was the opposite of love,” I took a deep breath and tried to find a calm tone, hoping that if I reasoned with him, he’d remember how things had ended and let me go. “We weren’t in love anymore. You found someone else and it was too painful for me to see you so happy, don’t you remember?”
“I remember none of that. All I remember is how much you meant to me and how lonely I’ve been since you left,” his tone grew morose, and he sounded like he was on the verge of breaking down. “You have to come back. I can’t live without you. You must come back.”
“Dominic, I can’t come back,” I quietly reminded him. “We can’t be together.”
“Yes, yes we can!” he cried as he shook me by my arms. “We can, and we will, be together. And I’m not going to give up until you come back to me. Until we’re back together. We belong together, Kitten. You and me.”
“Dominic, stop calling me that! I’m not coming back,” I stood my ground and tried to reason with him, but there was something desperate about the way he was trying to convince me to return to him, and it was his desperation that scared me.
“Well, I want you to come back, and sooner or later you’ll want to come back,” his voice dropped to a calm tone that scared me even more than the pleading. “I will not give up on you.”
“Let go of me, Dominic,” I said as evenly as possible, hoping that my voice sounded stronger than I felt.
“I will never let go of you, Ava,” he whispered, as he leaned in close enough that I could feel his breath on my cheek. “And if I can’t have you, then I will make sure that no one else will.”
*****
“Let go of her!” Brian’s voice bounced off the stone walls as he rounded the corner and saw Dominic holding me as I struggled to break free. He pointed his pistol at Dominic and calmly repeated, “Let go of her. Now.”
Shocked that I’d been followed, Dominic let go of my arm and turned to confront my defender, but he took one look at the gun in Brian’s hand and backed away.
“Hey man, don’t shoot,” he immediately switched to the friendly guy-to-guy manner he had when he talked with his buddies, and even laughed a little as he assured my rescuer, “We were just talking about old times.”
“The time for talking is over,” Brian replied as he aimed the pistol at Dominic’s stomach. “It’s time for you to scram.”
“Hey, don’t get your boxers in a bunch, buddy!” Dominic joked as he looked over at me with narrowed eyes, and quietly muttered so that only I could hear him. “This isn’t over yet.”
“Get out of here!” Brian boomed, and Dominic turned and took off, running toward the quad.
As I stood there watching him disappear into the darkness, I heard Brian quietly ask, “I’m guessing that was the ex, right? Are you okay?”
I turned and looked at him for a moment before speaking. “I’m so sorry,” I said quietly as the tears began to well up in my eyes. “I was stubborn and I didn’t believe the threat was real, so I thought I could take care of myself.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Brian interjected as he patted my shoulder. “It’s all good. I’m fully trained in hide and seek, so I knew I could find you.”
“I know, but I didn’t know he’d be out here following me, too.” I looked up into Brian’s face as I quickly wiped away the few tears that had run down my cheeks. “I feel stupid now.”
“It’s okay, he’s gone and you’re safe,” Brian reassured me. “Do you want to go back to the dorm?”
I considered the question more seriously than I would have a few hours ago, and then said, “No, I don’t feel safe going back to the dorm. At least not until he’s chilled out a bit. He knows where I live, and the last time he showed up there it was ugly.”
“Then let me take you somewhere safe tonight,” he suggested. “We’ll make sure he can’t find you, and then we’ll figure out a plan for how to take care of the threat.”
“Yes, sir, General!” I laughed weakly as I saluted.
“It’s Admiral, and your salute is sloppy,” he deadpanned. “Now, let’s get moving, I’ve got a place in mind, but you’ll probably need to stop and pick up a few things before we head out, right?”
“No, I’m okay,” I said softly. “I know how to travel light.”
“Well, once we get you situated, I can always come back and pick up your things later,” he said as he gently guided me toward the lot where he’d parked his black SUV.
*****
I sat quietly staring out the passenger side window as Brian drove. My mind raced as I tried to figure out what Dominic would do next. Would he actually hurt me? Was he capable of such a thing? I wasn’t sure anymore.
“I’m taking you to a hotel that I know has solid security,” Brian’s voice interrupted my racing thoughts. “I’ve arranged for a suite where I can monitor what’s going on while still giving you some privacy, okay?”
“What? Oh, yeah, that’s fine,” I replied, my thoughts still on what Dominic might do.
“What’s his deal, anyway?” Brian asked. “The guy seems more than a bit obsessed. What happened between the two of you?”
“He was never like this before.” I was annoyed by the question because I couldn’t answer it. “I mean, he’s written notes and called asking me to come back, but he’s never approached me since the breakup and he’s certainly never attacked me. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
“There has to be some reason that things have changed,” he mused. “Has something in his life changed recently?”
“How would I know?” I shot back defensively. “I broke up with the guy and we’re not BFFs!”
“I know, but something had to have changed if he’s getting more obsessed with you,” he continued.
“Look, I have no clue what’s going in with Dominic, and if I did, I’d tell you,” I lied. I knew I was dangerously close to spilling the whole story, but I also knew that if I did, Brian would go running back to my father and tell him everything. It wasn’t that I cared so much about whether my father knew or not, it was the fact that I knew if the whole story came out there would be hell to pay, and it would become another way for my father to manipulate people and make it all about himself. I just wanted to put it all behind me and move on with my life.
“You’re sure about that?” he said as he turned into the drive of the hotel and pulled up to the front door. He put the SUV in park, but left the engine running. He opened the door and got out, but before he shut the door, he quietly said, “Because I’m not.”
It didn’t take long for Brian to register and since I didn’t have any luggage, we were soon on the elevator headed up to a large suite on the top floor of the hotel. I watched Brian out of the corner of my eye as the elevator ascended. Although he seemed calm on the outside, I could see him scanning the interior of the small space the same way he’d done down in the lobby, on the track, and everywhere else.
“What’s up with the scanning?” I blurted out.
“Huh?” he seemed genuinely confused by the question.
“I’ve noticed that you are constantly in scan mode” I said cautiously. “Even when it’s not really necessary, like now.”
“Oh,” he dropped his eyes to the floor and didn’t look up.
“I’m not judging or anything,” I offered. “I’m just asking why you’re constantly doing it.”
“Dunno,” he shrugged as he stared at the floor.
I could see that a wall had gone up, but I had no idea how to scale it, so I stopped asking and went back to analyzing my own situation. Figuring out what Dominic was going to do next wasn’t going to be easy; he’d become less predictable since I’d left and it scared me to know that he had tracked me down on campus. How else would he have known where to find me? And as I thought about it more, I realized that the only way he could have found me would have been if he had been following me. The thought made me shudder.
“You cold?’ Brian asked as the elevator doors slid open. He stepped out into the hall and scanned the corridor before motioning me forward.
“No, just thinking,” I replied as I stepped in behind him and followed him down the hall to the suite. He unlocked the door, held up a hand indicating I should stay in the hall, then quickly made his way through the rooms, turning on lights as he went. Thirty seconds later, he was back at the door motioning me to come in and shut the door behind me. It all felt very covert, and I looked at him skeptically as he moved toward the windows and pulled the curtains closed.
“Your room is over here,” he opened the door connecting one of the bedrooms to the main area and waved me over. “You’re probably pretty tired, so I’ll let you get some sleep.”
“Okay,” I said as I headed toward my room. Once inside, I turned and called out, “Brian?”
“Yes?” came his immediate response.
“I don’t think I can…I mean, I’m not…Would you just stay?” I stammered.
“Sure thing,” he smiled as came back into the room. He pulled the curtains apart a bit and checked outside before sitting down in the big chair by the window. “What’s on your mind?”
“Why do you always do that?” I asked.
“Do what?”
“You’re always scanning and checking and looking for things,” I said.
“Well, it’s part of my job. I’m supposed to make sure that any threat is neutralized, and that you’re safe.”
“But it’s more than that,” I argued. “It’s like you’re never not on.”
“I guess I always am,” he shrugged. “But that’s not what you want to talk about is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why is Dominic after you? What happened between you two?” His honest question caught me off guard, but I quickly recovered and began telling the story that I’d told everyone who’d ever asked.
“Yeah, well, I’m not entirely sure what happened aside from the fact that I broke up with him when I caught him cheating on me,” I recited the scrubbed version so many times that it felt like the truth. “We were fine until that happened, and then he just kind of lost it. He started writing me and following me around trying to convince me to come back, and when I refused, he started to get more forceful.”
Brian sat watching me from across the room, his eyes like lasers, and I suddenly felt more exposed than I ever had in my life. I looked away, focusing my gaze on the couch in the other room as I talked. I told him about how Dominic had shown up in my dorm one evening, pleading and begging.
“He’d wanted me to come home with him, but something felt off, and when I said no, he became enraged. My suite
mates had finally called the police and they’d hauled him out the dorm, but didn’t arrest him because his father had even more money and power than mine, and was a big university donor.” I rolled my eyes dramatically to show him how little respect I had for all the money and power. “The next day, I went down to the court and filed a personal protection order, but I knew that it was just a piece of paper and that if he really wanted to get to me, it wouldn’t stop him. And then Dominic disappeared. I had no idea what had happened to him, but when my father got wind of the incident and asked about what had happened, I told him. He didn’t say anything more about it, and then he hired you. And that’s my sad tale of woe. Poor little rich girl, eh?”
“That’s a lovely story,” Brian said.
“What?” I wasn’t sure I had heard him correctly.
“It’s really nicely constructed and well-rehearsed, I’ll give you that,” he replied.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” I yelled.
“Sure you do,” he countered. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. That’s the story you’ve told your parents and all the nosy people who’ve tried to pry into your personal life, but it’s a lie. You know it, and you know I know it.”
“I…I…I…” I stuttered as I tried to find a way to cover my vulnerability. He’d seen past my carefully constructed mask and was calling me out.
“Ava, look, I’m not here to spy on you or rat you out to your parents,” he said with an earnest sincerity. “I’m here to make sure that Dominic doesn’t hurt you, that’s it. My whole job is to protect you, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what kind of enemy I’m up against. You need to come clean if I’m going to be able to do my job.”
“I…I…I can’t,” I whispered.
“Yes, you can,” he replied as he moved from the chair to the edge of the bed. Reaching out, he cupped my chin with his large hand and tipped my face up so that I was looking him in the eye. “You can’t escape a nightmare until you tell someone about it, and I’m the person who can help you leave it behind.”
“How on earth would you know anything about a nightmare!” I yelled. “You know nothing about this!”
“Maybe not this particular nightmare,” he said quietly as he held my gaze. “But believe me, I know about nightmares. So, tell me. Let me help you escape. Please, Ava?”
*****
I stared silently at Brian as my brain frantically searched for a way to explain my way out of the spotlight he’d just shone on my story. It wasn’t that I’d lied to anyone, it was more that I’d committed the sin of omission, and in doing so, thought that I’d fooled everyone into believing that things weren’t nearly as bad as they’d actually been. Everyone around me had wanted to believe my story, and I knew that the reality of the situation was more than they could handle, so I told them only small details and left out the big, scary parts. My parents didn’t ask at all, so I didn’t even have to omit anything. We just didn’t speak.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I insisted even as the tears began to leak from the corners of my eyes. “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine!”
“Ava,” Brian’s voice was soft as he continued cupping my chin, refusing to let me look away. “It’s okay. It’s safe to talk about it here with me. I promise.”
“You wouldn’t understand,” I whispered.
“Try me.”
I looked up into his steely blue eyes and saw something so familiar there that I had to look away. When I looked back up at him, the steel had been replaced by a softer expression, and something in me broke. I took a deep breath and began to tell the whole story; the real one.
“Dominic and I met during Rush Week,” I began. “He was trying to get into the Fiji house, and I thought the entire week was a joke. We both come from families with enormous wealth, and so we bonded over our rich kid isolation. I know, pathetic, isn’t it?”
“I’m not going to judge you, Ava,” he said softly. “I’m just listening.”
“I didn’t have to explain things to him about my family—all the weird things that no one else understands—so it felt good to be with him, and after a few weeks, it just felt like we were supposed to be together,” I had never admitted that to anyone, not even to myself. “But I knew there was something off about him. In the first couple of weeks we’d been seeing each other, he’d gotten arrested for fighting with another guy at a frat party, and once he was released from jail, he’d disappeared for a few days. When he came back, he just said he’d been ‘summoned home by the big guy,’ which was our code for when one of our fathers wanted to have a word with us. We lived in a cocoon; buffered by money and our shared isolation, but I liked him because he paid attention to me—close attention—and he was nothing like my father.”
As I’d begun telling my story, Brian had backed up and given me some space. He now sat with his back against the headboard, his arm resting on his bent knee while his other leg hung off the side of the bed. It was a constructed pose that was designed to look very casual and relaxed, but the tension in his jaw told me otherwise.
“It started small; he’d joke about summoning me home and I’d show up at his apartment.” I cringed as I began telling the story of the slow and steady descent into the darkness of our relationship. “But if I didn’t show up quickly, he’d pepper me with texts and phone calls asking where I’d been and who I’d been with. He said it was because he was worried about me and he wanted to make sure I was safe.”
Brian nodded as he connected the dots between his presence and my resistance to the whole safety routine. I wasn’t sure how much of the rest of the story I wanted to tell him, but when I looked up at him he said, “Tell the truth, Ava. Just tell the truth.”
“I was flattered by his attention. My whole life I had felt like an inconvenience to my parents. They’d shipped me off to boarding school in third grade, and I hadn’t lived in any house for more than a month at a time; often times, my parents weren’t even there. It was just me and the staff, and maybe a friend or two if they weren’t traveling with their own families,” I explained as the sadness crept up and wound itself around me. “Dominic was always there. He’d call me in the middle of the night just to tell me he missed me or he’d drop by my classroom to give me flowers or tell me a story about his day. There wasn’t anything menacing about it at all. He looked out for me and took care of me in a way that my parents had never done, and I felt…loved. I know that sounds ridiculous to someone who grew up with parents who loved them, probably like yours did, right?”
I looked over at Brian as he nodded slowly and then shifted his gaze away from my face. There was something going on, but I was too deep into my story to stop and find out, so I continued.
“Halfway through our second semester, I moved out of the dorm and into his apartment,” I shifted my body so that my knees were drawn up to my chest with my arms tightly wrapped around them. I felt as if I were standing on the edge of a terrifying abyss, as I had never told anyone what I was about to tell Brian. “Dominic was so sweet when I moved in. He took me shopping for all our household items and we picked out new bedding and sheets and towels. It was like we were married. And he was so attentive and kind in those first new days that I didn’t notice the change. Have you ever been to a lobster boil, Brian?”
“No?” he replied with a perplexed look on his face. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“If you really want to boil a lobster the right way, do you know how you do it?” I asked quietly.
“I really hadn’t thought about it,” he said.
“You put the heat on low, put the lobsters in the pot, and then gradually raise the temperature until the water boils,” I explained in a soft voice. “That way they don’t know what’s happening until it’s too late.”
Surprise and recognition flashed across Brian’s face as he processed the story I was telling, then he nodded and said, “I imagine it’s more humane for the lobsters, right?”
“Maybe, but I’ve always thought it was tremendously sad to betray them that way; to use what they are familiar with to end their lives,” I sighed. “It feels horribly sad.”
“Yes, I imagine when you look at it that way, it is sad,” he echoed.
“As time went on, he got more and more possessive, but I was too blind to see that it was because the temperature was being turned up all around me,” my voice broke a little. “I would come home and find him pacing the apartment, worried to death that something had happened to me, so I’d comfort him and make sure he was okay, and that usually meant having sex. I got to be an expert at knowing exactly what kind of mood he’d be in depending on the text or phone call, and then I’d know precisely what I’d have to do when I got home. In some ways it was really easy because he was so predictable, but that also made him so much more dangerous. About three months after I’d moved in was the first time he hit me.”
“He hit you?” Brian’s voice was calm, but his jaw was tight and tense.
“He did, but he always made it seem like it was my fault. He would explain it as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and I’d find myself agreeing with him,” I said. “The memory of that first night is the most painful one because, in retrospect, I can see where it was all headed, but at the time, I was too naive and trusting. He’d followed me around campus that day, and he found me in the quad talking with a guy from my Chem class. He wasn’t someone I’d ever talked to before, and we had been double-checking our study guides because we had an exam coming up. Dominic showed up on the quad and ‘caught’ us. I introduced him and told him what we were doing, and he was so incredibly charming and funny that I didn’t give it another thought. In fact, I remember thinking how lucky I was to have a boyfriend who was so friendly and warm. What a fool I was.”
“So, he shows up and acts all nice to the guy, and then what?” Brian probed.
“When I got home later that afternoon, all hell broke loose,” I looked down, dropped one arm, and began picking at the bedspread. “He was in a rage. He interrogated me about the guy on the quad—Dave? Doug? I can’t even remember his name now. Anyway, he accused me of sneaking around behind his back and seeing other guys. I was shocked because that had never even occurred to me. Not once. I was happy with him, and happy in our home together, and I told him that, but he refused to believe me. He went on and on about how I was betraying him while I tried my best to show him all the ways in which I wasn’t. That’s when I started to get mad and tell him that if he didn’t believe me, then maybe I should leave. Big mistake.”
“Why? What happened?”
“The minute I said I was going to leave, he lunged at me, grabbed my arm, and gripped me so tightly that I had an imprint of his hand on my bicep for a week. He shook me and told me never ever to tell him that I was leaving again. He said that I couldn’t leave him, that he was the only one in the world who would ever love me this much and that no one else would want a girl whose father didn’t love her because it meant that she was damaged and worthless.” My voice was shaking as I repeated the words that had played over and over in my head for the past year. I’d never told anyone what Dominic had said, but I’d played his voice back again and again, wondering if he had been right about me. “When I started crying, he yelled at me to shut up and stop being such a stupid baby, and when I didn’t, he…”
“He what, Ava?” Brian’s voice was low and gentle. “What did he do?”
“He slapped me across the face and then told me to go wash my face and get dinner started or there would be hell to pay.” My breath was coming fast and rapid as I remembered. “It was the first time Dominic had shown his ugly side, but it was far from the last. And it got worse; so much worse, but after every episode, he’d cry and apologize and tell me he only got jealous because he loved me so much and was so afraid of losing me. He would shower me with gifts and flowers, and we’d take a trip together or go shopping for something new for the apartment. He was always so incredibly kind and sweet after one of his outbursts, and I was confused. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong because I wasn’t doing anything. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to go to classes anymore because I was afraid of what would happen if someone tried to talk to me in class. I was scared and paranoid and totally dependent on him.”
“What a total asshole,” Brian quietly fumed. “He blamed his own insecurity on you and used it to keep you prisoner.”
“You know, this morning we were talking about Stockholm Syndrome in my Psych class, and I felt this cold wave of fear wash over me. That was me. I totally identified with him and felt sorry for him because he’d had such an awful upbringing,” I explained. “He’d been raised by a father who was practically a drill sergeant, and who had terrorized his kids with exercises at dawn and long runs in the middle of the hot California summer. It was brutal, and he had been totally traumatized by it, so I felt bad for him.”
“Lots of people are traumatized by jerks like his father,” Brian grumbled. “But they don’t become psychopathic abusers.”
“Look, I’m not excusing him, I’m just saying that he had problems to begin with, and I made the perfect target for his rage,” I continued. “It got worse, to the point that there was a period of about month when I didn’t leave the apartment at all. I curled up in the bedroom and ignored everyone except Dominic, who would call or text every 15 minutes just to make sure I hadn’t gone anywhere with anyone.”
“Jesus, he kept you a prisoner!” Brian shouted as he jumped off the bed and began pacing the room.
I wrapped my arms tightly around my legs and pressed my forehead against my knees as I squeezed my eyes shut and gently rocked. Brian immediately noticed the change, stopped his pacing, and said, “I’m sorry, Ava. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“I’m not scared of you, Brian,” I mumbled. “I’m scared of what Dominic might be capable of, and I have no idea what that is.”
“How did you get away from him?” he asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed and gently patted my foot.
“I walked out,” I laughed bitterly. “He cheated on me, and I found out, so I walked out the door and never looked back. How cliché is that? I mean, the guy belittles me, hits me, and basically breaks down every part of me, but I don’t get mad enough to leave until he cheats on me with another woman? What a fool I was.”
“You’re not a fool, Ava,” Brian consoled. “Lots of people go through what you did and never find it in themselves to leave. But you left. You found a way to make yourself safe and you left him.”
I looked up at him with tears running down my face and shook my head as I spoke in a small voice, “But he’s never going to let me get away. Don’t you see? He’s obsessed with me, and I’m never ever going to be free of him.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, no, I’m not,” I whispered. “If he can’t have me, he’s going to kill me.”
Brian swiftly climbed on to the bed and wrapped his strong arms around my weeping frame and said, “No, he’s most definitely not going to do that.”
“How do you know?” I cried.
“Because if he harms even one hair on your head, I will make sure it’s the last thing he ever does,” he promised in a tense voice as he tightened his arms around me, and for the first time in more than a year, I took a deep breath and relaxed.
*****
We stayed that way for a long time. Brian’s arms felt so strong and warm wrapped around me, and when he rested his chin on the top of my head, I’d never felt safer in my entire life. I felt stiff from having been tensed up for so long, and as Brian ran one hand down my back, I began to relax a little. I didn’t know what to say now; I felt like I’d just put myself through the ringer by telling the story, but Brian had been right, it had felt good to get it out. Somehow, sharing my experience with him had made me feel so much less alone, and all of the awful things that Dominic had done started to belong to him, not me. I wasn’t responsible for his horrible behavior or his violent need to control me. He, and he alone, was responsible for that. Thinking about Dominic sent a shiver up my spine.
“It’s okay,” Brian murmured. “You’re safe, I promise. You’re safe with me.”
I exhaled slowly as I lifted my head and tried to stretch my legs. They’d been crushed up against my chest for so long that they’d fallen asleep, and I couldn’t unbend them. Brian let go of me, leaned back, and gently pulled one leg and then the other out, so that for the first time in hours, I was sitting up straight as he lightly ran his hands up and down my legs, stimulating the circulation. When the pins and needles feeling ran up my legs, I let out a howl as I began kicking my feet, trying to drive it out quickly.
“Stay still!” he laughed. “You’re not going to do anything but make it worse if you kick like that.”
“But it hurts!” I cried as I continued ignoring his advice and kicking my legs. “Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!”
“You are one stubborn woman,” he laughed. “You really ought to listen to me.”
“I know, but I can’t help it!” I laughed along with him as the pain in my legs began to subside. I leaned forward and stretched a little, then sat back up and looked intently at Brian. “Can you do that again?”
“Do what again?” he asked, genuinely confused.
“Make me feel safe like you did a little while ago?” I quietly requested. He looked at me for a long moment, then stood up, leaned over and scooped me up off of the end of the bed, and plopped down with his back against the headboard and me across his lap. He wrapped one arm around my lower back, and brought his other hand up and gently ran it through my hair as he pulled my head to his shoulder. Enveloped in his arms, I sighed quietly as I let go and enjoyed the feeling of his hard, warm body pressed against mine. He rested his chin on my head again as his finger played with my hair, gently brushing it away from my face. I studied the vein that was pulsing at the base of his neck as I felt the warmth of his arms wrapped around me, and without thinking, I leaned forward and kissed the spot where his neck met his collarbone.
“Ava…” His surprise was evident, but he didn’t pull away. “I’m not sure if this is…”
“I am,” I whispered, as I leaned in and ran a string of light kisses down his jawline. Brian inhaled deeply and then exhaled slowly as he fought to keep things under control. I, on the other hand, continued to work to upset the balance, and as I continued kissing his jaw, I lifted my hand to stroke his cheek. That elicited a quiet groan from his lips as he brought his hand to my face and tipped my chin up so we were looking into each other’s eyes.
He stroked my cheek with his thumb as he gazed at me, and then murmured, “So beautiful,” before dipping his head and lightly brushing my lips with his. I hadn’t been with anyone—or even wanted to be with anyone—in the year since I’d left Dominic, and the sensation of his lips against mine awakened my desire in a way I hadn’t anticipated.
Brian must have felt the change, and he pulled back and asked, “Are you sure?” I was more than sure, and I nodded as I reached up and pulled his lips back down to mine. His were soft as he traced the edge of my mouth with his tongue, gently parting my lips so our tongues could find each other. He teased me as he began gliding his hands down my body, roaming over my curves and then returning to caress my face as our kiss deepened.
Soon, he reached down and tugged the edge of my T-shirt and pulled it up over my head. My bra joined the T-shirt on the floor in quick order as he slipped out from under me and lowered me onto my back. I looked up at him as he unzipped his hoodie, tossed it to the floor, and then stripped the standard white T-shirt from his body. I inhaled sharply as I took in his broad, muscled chest and strong arms, and moments later, he was pressing them against my bare skin as he leaned down and continued kissing me. I ran my hands down his arms and felt the muscles bulging under my fingertips, and moaned softly as his hands found my sensitive nipples and began circling them with his fingers. He pulled back and watched me closely as he teased them into erect points before dipping his head down and capturing one between his lips. The sensation was unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and I cried out as I buried my fingers in his thick hair and pulled him against my breasts. He continued licking and sucking as one hand moved lower and found the waistband of my pants, and moments later, he pushed himself up off my body so that he could strip me bare.
I lay on the bed as he ran his eyes and his hands over my now-naked body. He kept murmuring, “So beautiful” as he touched me, and he kept looking back up at my face as if to ask if I was alright. I nodded and pulled him back down against me, kissing him deeply and urging him to continue as I unzipped his pants and tried to push them off of him. I was pinned under him, and we both laughed a little as he was forced to pull his own pants off.
Now both naked, the urgency of our need took over, and we began grinding against one another; skin on skin as we kissed and touched, exploring each other’s bodies. I could feel Brian’s hardness pressing against my leg and I braced myself for what I thought would come next, but he felt the slight shift and stopped to look at me for a moment. “You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I looked away. “Bad memory of another lifetime, sorry.”
“You never have to be sorry with me, Ava,” he vowed as his hand traced a slow path down my body until he was parting my thighs and stroking the soft skin of my outer lips. He kissed me softly as his fingers spread me open, and then he sighed into my lips as he began stroking the velvety softness of my already slick inner lips. A desperate moan escaped my lips as he spent long minutes stroking me until I was so wet I could feel the moisture dripping out of me and soaking the bed. He watched me intently as he slid his fingers to the edge of my tight entry, and then teased it until I raised my hips to try and push his fingers inside me.
“You want it, don’t you?” he murmured.
“Oh yes, I need it! I need it!” I cried as my hips chased his fingers.
Brian smiled as he continued the erotic torture, bending down to kiss me again and again. Slowly, he positioned himself on top of me, sliding his thick shaft between my legs, coating it in my wetness before spreading my lips and holding the tip on the edge of my tight, wet pussy. He held my gaze as he slowly pushed forward, burying himself inside me. I moaned loudly and gripped his arms as I tried to pull him deeper inside my body. I wanted to feel all of him. I needed him.
“Please, Brian, please!” I groaned.
“Please what?” he teased.
“Please! Stop teasing me! You’re driving me crazy!” I cried as I pushed my hips up, only to have him withdraw an equal distance. I wanted to feel him driving into me, deep and hard, but he was intent on teasing me until I went insane. “Brian, please, please, please, please…” As my begging became a chat of pure need, Brian watched me carefully.
The change happened in an instant. One moment he was soft and slow, and the next he was plunging down into me hard and fast, taking my breath away as I cried with relief. I could feel every stroke, and I arched my back and pushed my hips up to meet every forceful thrust. We were like a well-oiled machine, and we found a rhythm that made me forget all about Dominic and my father and let the force of our desire engulf us. Brian reached down between us and found my clit as he slammed down into me over and over again, and for a moment, I felt as if I had left my body. The rhythm of our hips, his fingers stroking my clit, and our lips pressed together moved us closer and closer to the edge of orgasm.
The sweat ran down his nose and dropped onto my face as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me tightly against him, trying to find a way to dive deeper. My hands gripped his arms as I felt the first wave moving through my body. I cried out, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” as I felt his fingers moving faster, and as the orgasm enveloped me, I felt him drive harder and deeper as he raced to catch up with me. Soon he was groaning as he reached his own blissful release, and we held tight to each other as the waves of pleasure washed over us.
Many minutes later, Brian opened his eyes and found me watching him. “Oh, sorry!” he exclaimed as he quickly rolled off of me, pulled the covers down on the bed, and urged me to get underneath them before returning to lay by my side. “Can’t have you getting cold!”
“You must have been a Boy Scout,” I laughed.
“No, ma’am,” he replied. “I’m not much for joining things, and I’ve only ever been a Navy man!”
I laughed again as I snuggled in next to him. It felt good to be safely wrapped in his strong arms. I pressed my head against his chest and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat soon lulled me into a deep and dreamless sleep.