Chapter Twenty-Six
Lexa
I had tossed and turned all night thinking about Aiden. I’d already hurt him, and I hadn’t done anything near as bad as telling him the truth about me. I’d decided not to call him when I got off work, and though he’d already texted me to see if I was okay, I was too riddled with guilt to answer him.
I dragged myself out of bed and without even taking the time to fix my hair, I threw on some jeans and a clean t-shirt and went to the only person who could tell me like it is: Bre Lively.
I drove across town and parked in front of her house, where I noticed some asshole had blocked the front walk. I got out and went up to the door and with tears in my eyes I knocked. Moments later, Bre came to the door, and she wasn’t ready to go shopping which was her normal Saturday morning routine. Her hair was a mess, and her cheeks were flushed, and she seemed to be out of breath. I realized who the asshole blocking the walk was when a man’s cough sounded in the distance.
“Lexa, hey you’re out early.”
“I’m sorry. Daniel’s here, isn’t he? I’ll go and call you later.” I turned, but her hand clamped down on my shoulder.
“Not so fast. You look like hell.” She pointed to the room behind her and when I hesitated, she pulled me inside. “I’ll put on a pot of coffee, and you can tell me what happened.”
“I’m such a screw-up.”
“You told him, and he’s pissed off at you?” Her brow lifted and she shook her head as she went for the coffeemaker.
“No, I haven’t told him. I’ve chickened out, and now he told me he wants more. He’s in relationship mode, and I haven’t even told him my real name.”
“Relationship mode, seriously? Whoa, Lexa, that’s bad. You’re going to have to come clean to him. Like, yesterday.”
“I know. And to make things worse, he overheard Dr. Rob flirting with me about owing me a dinner. Let’s just say that didn’t go over well.”
“He was jealous? Wow. So, did you tell him you’d be exclusive?”
“The other night we had a real date, and he took me out to Tipsy Paint, and we had dinner and then went back to his place. It wasn’t the usual fuck session, Bre. We made love. At least, until I slutted out and-”
Daniel coughed again, and I realized he could probably hear the whole conversation. My eyes widened, but Bre waved him off. “Never mind him. He’s watching TV.”
“Anyway, I’ve tried to keep from getting myself hurt. I didn’t think he could fall for me like this, and now I’m afraid I’ll hurt us both. I don’t know what to do.”
“You need to do something, for sure. If you can’t get the courage to talk to him, maybe you should start with your parents. Tell them how you feel about him. Maybe standing up for him will give you the courage you need to be honest with him.
“Maybe you could use that as an excuse that you wanted to tell him, but you didn’t want to lose him. If he cares about you like he says he does, maybe he’ll understand. Maybe he’ll be so happy that the lawsuit is over that he doesn’t care.”
“Yeah, right. He’s going to ditch me. He’s going to lose his mind and flip out on me, and then he’s going to tell me to get the fuck out. I can already hear him. The best I can do is tell my parents and beg him, but I think I’d rather keep what little dignity I have and make this whole suit go away for him. It’s the least I can do. Then, I’ll just leave him alone. Maybe he’ll think I moved on. If he hates me, it might be better for us both.”
“I can’t believe you still haven’t told him. And, if he’s jealous over the doctor, he’s always going to have a problem with you working with him. I’ve seen that too many times. He must have it bad for you.” She wasn’t helping my panic, which had turned into a full-blown attack. I was trembling all over, and I had to take a few deep breaths and sit down. Even though I tried to calm myself, it did no good. It was as if I had no control over my own body.
“Hey, calm down.” Bre put the coffee down in front of me, and I pulled it to my lips with shaky hands and sipped.
“I’m trying. I can’t believe I let it get this messed up. I really like him, Bre. He could be the one, he really could. And it just happened, like that. I hadn’t planned on any of this.”
“Are you in love with him?” She had a pained expression on her face and clutched her collar.
“I’m pretty sure I am. He’s all I can think about, and I’m kicking myself now for screwing it all up. I figured he was so cold at first that it would be impossible for him to like me. But now he’s talking commitments, and I’m stuck being Lexa Lively.”
She giggled. “That sounds like a porn star’s name. I bet he thinks it hot.” She sipped her mug of coffee, and I let out a breath. There she was not helping again.
“The sex…it’s amazing.” She laughed, and I realized I’d made the claim like it was something she couldn’t fathom. But then I straightened up in my chair and took another sip of coffee while the silence grew between us. After a moment, I decided she was right.
I slapped my palm on the table to cut the silence. “I think I will approach my parents first. Believe it or not, they’re much less frightening. And if they disown me, I’d hardly notice.”
She swirled her coffee in the mug staring down into the dark liquid. “Come on, your mother and your father both have soft spots. They’ve been through hell, the both of them, and you’ve taken a lot of the brunt of their grieving, but they love you and want the best for you. Who knows, your mother might like the idea of you dating him even more. I mean, that would bring her closer to all of his money, and not only a part of it.”
“That actually might be true, but you heard them. They think he’s an asshole. They’ll probably think he’s trying to pull a fast one and make me fall for him, so he doesn’t have to pay up.” I had seen my mother in action too many times, and I didn’t think getting her to give up anything for me would be that easy.
“Yeah, well, things change when love is involved.” She shrugged.
“Stop saying that word. It makes my stomach knot.” My phone rang, and I glanced down to see that Aiden had texted. “That’s him now.”
“Well, answer him. You can’t ignore him forever.”
“I have for the past day.” My shoulders dropped like all the air had been let out of me.
Bre’s eyes widened. “I’m surprised he hasn’t come looking for you. You should say something. Tell him you’re working.”
“I don’t want to ignore him. I want to be with him, but I’m such a chicken-hearted loser. Maybe I should just tell him. Like right now.”
Bre reached over and took my phone. “I’m not letting you do something that hasty, especially through a text.”
“I was thinking maybe you could tell him, like through a text, maybe anonymously. Then I won’t have to do anything. He’ll stop calling, and I’ll go on hating myself as much as I do now.”
“You’re talking crazy, Lexa. You’re not this person.” Her hand fell across my arm, warm and reassuring.
“Exactly, that’s crazy Lexa Lively talking.” I remembered his words again, the ones that had been haunting me. “He even told me the other day how much he hates my greedy parents and then added that he hates liars just as much.”
“I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do. But other than keeping your phone out of reach until your urge of insanity has passed, I’m not sure what I’m good for.” The phone sounded, and she met my eyes.
“Check it. It’s probably him.” I nudged her, but before she looked, she took a deep breath.
“He said he misses you and wants you to come by. Then he said ‘we need to talk.’” The thing vibrated again, and her eyes widened. That was it. He knew. He’d said something horrible, and she was clearly reacting. But then her face reddened, and she put the phone down on the table.
“What?”
“He said he’s been picturing you spread out on Shelby and he needs a nurse. Who the hell is Shelby? Is there something you’re not telling me?” I couldn’t help but laugh, but Bre’s eyes widened, and she was holding my phone ransom until I told her. I tried to pry it out from under her hand, but she shook her head. “Seriously, who is Shelby?”
“Shelby is a car, I swear.” I finally pried my phone away and glanced at the text. As upset as I was, I wanted to be his nurse. I wanted to message his back and flirt and play like nothing was wrong between us. I was seriously damaged.
“So, you spread out on his car? Don’t answer that.” She got up and went to put her cup in the sink, turning on the water to rinse it out.
I glanced down at the phone with the first smile of the day spread across my lips.
“Look at you, smiling like there isn’t a care in the world. He does something to you, and I’m not sure it’s healthy, especially if he’s doing it to you on a car.”
“On a car, the shower, the dining table, the couch, his bed… Oh, and there was that one time at work.”
“At work? Lexa, seriously?”
“Yeah, I told you, it’s amazing. He’s hands down the sexiest man I know. And, I can’t tell him no. Even at work.” She leaned against the counter and stared at the floor. “Don’t act like you’re so innocent. I’ve known you my whole life. You’ve done it across your desk, and you screwed your boss.”
She lifted her head and glanced around me to the living room where Daniel was lost in a television show. “Keep it down. I’m not judging you. Just promise you’ll be careful.”
“I’m always careful.”
“Famous last words, Lexa. Famous. Last. Words.”
I couldn’t dispute her one bit. I’d already been a fool from the start with Aiden.