As promised, Kile’s driver waited for me outside of my building at 8 o’clock sharp. I climbed inside and nodded to him. It was hard to believe our date was here already and if I’d been feeling nervous about it before, it was only doubled thanks to the time we spent together in the bookstore earlier in the week.

I only sort of understood what that had been all about. At first, it seemed like it’d been designed to give me something interesting for the documentary, but as soon as I’d walked into the bookstore and saw next to no one in the place, I’d known it was so much more than that. He was testing me, in much the same way I’d intended to test him with this dinner, and that gave me cause to worry. It was one thing if my resolve was waffling, but if his was, too…? I shook my head, trying not to think about it and instead calm my nerves.

Earlier in the day, Kile had finally allowed me and my crew to tour The Flame’s offices, which was a welcome distraction and break from being forced to talk to each other, but the office itself wasn’t anything special. I also couldn’t deny the worried looks and watchful eyes I was getting from the rest of the staff, so we hadn’t stayed long. The whole thing was pretty uncomfortable for everyone involved.

But then again, uncomfortable seemed to be the word of the day because no matter how I tried to get things back to normal while we continued shooting and acting like nothing was different between us, our dinner date seemed to loom over our heads all afternoon, clouding and confusing everything. As it grew closer, I’d started to feel convinced it was a terrible idea and that I should call it off before things got any worse.

And yet, there I was in the back of a nondescript black car on a Friday night being shuttled to meet Kile anyway. I didn’t have any idea where I was going because he’d refused to tell, saying only that he wanted to surprise and impress me—as if he didn’t already have a history of that. After all, we were about to have dinner together. That was a big surprise in and of itself.

“Where are we going, anyway?” I asked the driver, not expecting a reply. To my surprise, he looked at me in the rearview mirror.

“I’m sworn to secrecy,” he said with a smirk, and after that the meager conversation died until we stopped outside of an undecorated, unmarked building on E Street. What the hell was the point of the car, then? I could’ve walked or taken the train here, I thought as I looked at the building.

“Are you sure this is it?” I asked.

“Positive. I drop Mr. Avery off here at least twice a month.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a restaurant called maxbar. Mr. Avery says it’s the best place in town but I wouldn’t know. It’s far above my pay grade,” he said with a smirk. Great, I thought. I knew I shouldn’t have let him pick the venue. It’s just like him to pick something flashy and over the top.

“I guess I’ll find out just how good it is shortly,” I said and climbed out of the car. When I stepped inside the foyer of the building I was surprised to find that it forked. To the left, there was a fancy wine cellar, and to the right there was a frosted glass door that said “maxbar by Sébastien.” I stepped through the door and had to fight back a gasp.

The restaurant looked like a staging area for a much more high-end IKEA showroom with stark white decor, and lots of stainless steel—except the furniture was designer label and there were very obviously rich people sitting on it.

“Welcome to maxbar. How many are in your party this evening?” the host asked, his hair slicked back. He wore a crisp tuxedo.

“I’m actually meeting someone, he should already be here.”

“What’s the name?”

“Avery. Kile Avery,” I said and he checked his list.

“Ah, yes. And you are?”

“Jeff Taylor,” I said.

“Thank you. Right this way,” the host said and led me to the front corner of the restaurant where I found Kile sitting alone at a somewhat small table clearly designed for two.

“What do you think?” he asked, gesturing around as I sat down across from him.

“It’s amazing,” I said. I’d been to almost all of the upscale restaurants in the District but I’d never heard of this one. “But I still wish you would’ve just agreed to dinner at my place. We’re bound to be spotted here.”

“Isn’t the point of coming to a place like this to be seen? You know, to show the world you’ve arrived?” he asked with a smile.

“Not when you’re here for a supposedly secret, low-key date,” I said and he chuckled.

“It’ll be fine. This place is pretty exclusive so I don’t think anyone will do anything crazy. Anyway, how’s the documentary coming along?” he asked. He seemed off, guarded in a way, as if our meeting at the bookstore had gotten to him. It’d certainly gotten to me. Maybe he really was afraid of me—not that I blamed him, because I was just as afraid of him.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I don’t have much to do with the production side of things. I just turn in my notes and maybe some suggestions with the recordings every day. Lee has a whole team of people working on making it look nice, tell a story, and make sense,” I said.

“Hmm,” Kile said as he took a sip from the glass of red wine in front of him. “I ordered a bottle. I wasn’t sure what you liked. Help yourself,” he said. I hesitated, afraid of what introducing alcohol into the equation might do for the evening.

“I’ll pass for now,” I said. I needed to keep my head clear and wine definitely wouldn’t help with that. “I have a feeling we’re going to be here a while, so why rush things?”

“Suit yourself,” he said, though he looked disappointed. “It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything like this so I guess I needed the social lubricant.” Or liquid courage, depending on how you look at it, I thought.

“Me too, but I don’t really want to get drunk to enjoy it.”

“Enjoy it? And here I thought you were all business, all the time,” Kile said with a smirk.

“Not always. If I was all business, I wouldn’t be here with you now, would I?”

“Fair enough,” he said, his body language turning suddenly tense, and silence fell between us. Normally, carrying a conversation was as easy as breathing for me—it was my job, after all—but Kile threw me off. I didn’t know how to talk to him outside of a professional context and I didn’t know what to talk about. Well, there were a million questions I wanted to ask him about what was going on between us but that wasn’t an option.

“So… How are things going over at The Flame since you’ve been tied up?” I asked. He threw me a look like I was already boring him.

“I don’t really know. I’ve kinda checked out of the place since we started filming. It’s been nice not to have to worry about it. Joel’s doing a good job.”

“Shame I didn’t get to meet him today,” I said and I meant it. If Joel was Kile’s right-hand man then I definitely needed to talk to him. Unfortunately, he’d been holed up in an office room the entire time I was there.

“Well, now that he’s the only guy doing a two-person job, he’s more than a little busy.”

“I get it. Just a shame.”

“Anyway, as fascinating as this conversation is, we’re supposed to be on a date. Can we leave work at work?”

“Right, yeah. Sorry. I just don’t really know what else to talk about.”

“Alright, then let me get the conversation started. What was going through your mind when you had me on your show?” he asked and I froze. Of course, I’d spent a lot of time thinking about that since it’d happened but that didn’t mean I wanted to talk about it with him. It was like ripping a scab off a particularly nasty wound that had only just started to heal.

“I’m not sure. A lot of things were going through my head.”

“Like what?”

“Like how much I didn’t want you on my show,” I said and he laughed.

“Why not?” he asked with a smile. “And be nice. I remember things.”

“Honestly, I thought you were a hack. I didn’t think you had a shred of integrity and I thought I’d be doing myself and my viewers a disservice by having you on.”

“Ouch. Do you still think that about me?”

“I don’t know what I think about you anymore,” I said. In so many ways, I added in my thoughts.

“I do tend to mystify people,” he said, his smile growing. “But I don’t think I’ve ever set anyone off in the same way I did with you. What was that all about?”

“Well, I didn’t take kindly to you attacking my entire industry, which I’ve been working in since I was old enough to work.”

“I can see how that might be taken personally.”

“Taken personally? You called me out.”

“And it got under your skin that much?”

“It did, but it wasn’t just that.”

“Admit it, it was also my stunning good looks.”

“That was probably part of it,” I laughed, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. Truthfully, I was grateful for his humor. It made the conversation and the moment easier to bear and put me at ease enough to answer him. “The bigger part of it was that I didn’t think you really believed any of the shit you were saying. I still don’t,” I said and he eyed me suspiciously.

“Why would I be saying it if I didn’t?” he asked and my resolve cracked. I sighed and reached for the wine bottle to fill my glass. I took a deep, deep swig and savored it while I took a moment to find the words I needed to say what I really wanted to say.

“I think you’re doing it to try and convince yourself that you’re right. More than that, I think you’re doing it to keep people away because you’re afraid of them.”

“You’re not the first person to say that, and you’re also not the first one I’ve told off for saying it,” he said. “It’s not true at all.”

“Really? Then why are you still single?”

“Because I haven’t found the right guy yet,” he answered, his eyes twinkling in the dim light as they locked on mine. “I’ve kissed lots of toads and not one of them has turned into a Prince Charming.” A few moments passed in which we stared at each other, and finally he smirked before breaking our gaze.

“So what about you? Why are you still single after all of this time? Surely you’ve gotten offers along the way,” he said, swirling the remainder of his wine around in his glass.

“For the same reason,” I admitted, my heart racing as the words came out of my mouth. I never imagined myself talking about this with Kile Avery of all people. He wasn’t the only one who’d been burned by an ex. Jeremy had nearly cost me everything, and after that ordeal was over, I swore I’d never let love or relationships get in the way of my career again. So how did I explain what was happening with Kile?

“Looks like we have a lot more in common than either of us thought,” he said and I stayed quiet. He eyed me cautiously.

“Why are we here? Why are we doing this?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself.

“That’s a very good question. I don’t know about you but I’m here on business,” he said.

“That’s bullshit and you know it is,” I said.

“If it’s bullshit then what are you doing here, Jeff?” he asked.

“I’m here because I have feelings for you, god damn it,” I said, my eyes locked on his. His face shifted from a look of surprise to confusion and back to collected in a matter of seconds. He narrowed his eyes and considered me over the lip of his wine glass as he took another drink.

“I guess we do have more in common than I thought,” he said at last after setting his glass down.

“What? Really?” I asked, my heart racing faster than it had been before. Is he still screwing with me? I wondered.

“Yes, really,” he said. “I don’t like it any more than you do, but I can’t deny the fact that there’s something going on here. When you kissed me the other day…” he trailed off.

“So you felt something?”

“Of course I did, don’t be an idiot,” he said. “How couldn’t I have? You surprise attacked me with your mouth.”

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, but I didn’t know how else to get through to you.”

“Well, it worked. I liked that. I’m usually the one in charge, making all of the moves. It was…” he trailed off and I involuntarily leaned forward in my seat, hanging on his words. “It was nice to be surprised,” he said, his smile returning. “It’s been a long time since that’s happened. Hell, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt anything from a kiss other than boredom. So, well done,” he said and my face tingled from fighting back the smile I didn’t want him to see.

There he goes again, being all fucking beautiful and reveling in the fact he’s gotten to me, I thought, kicking myself for falling for it yet again. Kile was the kind of guy who would do anything to get a rise out of others, but the more I got to know him, the more I appreciated it—because I saw it for what it was. It was a front, a weapon, a way to let people get close while still keeping them at arm’s length—and I was determined to get past it.

“What do you say we get out of here?” I asked and he laughed.

“You really are full of surprises. We haven’t even eaten yet.”

“So what? We’ll pay for the wine and call it a night.”

“Where are we going to go?”

“Where we should’ve gone in the first place: my house,” I said and he raised an eyebrow at me.

“Why?”

“So we can have some drinks and talk without having to look over our shoulders,” I said. “Nothing more, nothing less,” I continued, knowing that it would almost certainly lead to more. It was a bad idea, probably one of the worst I’d ever come up with, but there wasn’t any taking it back now—even if I’d wanted to.

“Call us a ride, then,” he said, so I did, my hands shaking as I pulled up my ride share app and requested a driver. I knew I wasn’t thinking clearly, knew I was making a giant mistake by encouraging things to go in this direction, but at the moment I didn’t care.

Whatever happens, no one will know, I rationalized. No one but us. My phone vibrated to alert me that the driver was outside.

“They’re here,” I said and Kile took a $100 bill from his wallet and threw it on the table before standing and putting his coat on. As we stepped out of the restaurant, his hand slipped into mine and I knew that things would never be the same again.

Despite all of the years I’d spent building up my resolve, Kile Avery had broken me.