“Seriously, man, I’m totally freaking out here. I friggin’ drove off the road. The way she talked and looked at me. I’m completely screwed.” Ben keeps scratching his head like a madman as he paces the room. I haven’t seen him this wound up since he met Beth years ago. This girl Sam has got him in a tizzy, and I can’t decide if it’s absolutely hysterical or just plain sad.

Everyone wants him to move on and find happiness. He’s been so lonely and empty for so long. This girl moving here is just what he needs. It’s as if Beth sent him an angel to save him. I shake my head in an attempt to stop my brain from oozing all this mushy shit.

But honestly, I can’t help it right now. I’m in love for the first time in my life and it’s making me a total pussy. For once, I actually understand all the lame ass shit I’ve been dishing out to Ben for years. Now that I know what it feels like, I can relate on a certain level.

My only hope is that I don’t look like this one day. The idea of losing Jenny and carrying on with my life as if nothing happened is not an option for me. My goal is to make this work, no matter what. It won’t be easy because basically, I’m a complete fuck up.

My body steps in front of Ben’s path to interrupt his rant. He really needs to relax before he loses his shit. “Ben, listen, you have got to slow down. You are over- thinking all of it. Just do your thing and be yourself.” My hand grabs his shoulder to give him a squeeze back to reality. “Let it play out and see what happens. Jenny said she’s the best so don’t sweat it.”

I feel Ben’s shoulder loosen up. “She really is. I like her.” That’s when I see it, a big ass genuine smile. It’s something I haven’t seen on his face for quite some time. In that moment, I realize he will be all right. He’s coming back to life, and to us.

My grip increases in pressure. “Then go for it, man. You got this.” His smile holds as he pats me on the back before mumbling something about a tour. Just as he is about to leave, he turns back to me.

“Wait. How do you know what Jenny said about her?”

Fuck.

I try and stay cool but beads of sweat form on my brow. Jenny and I agreed to keep things quiet for now, at least until we figure things out between us. She’s going to be pissed but not surprised that I fucked up already. My head tries to formulate something without stating Jenny’s plans.

I know that she wants Ben and Sam together and she asked for my help. I need to try my hardest to make this happen. For their sake, but mainly, for Jenny. I would do anything to make Jenny happy. “Jenny told me at dinner last night.” Ben seems content with my answer as he heads out the door.

Whew! I dodged a bullet there. I’m telling him to be cool and relax when apparently, I need to take my own advice. My stomach begins to growl and I realize that I haven’t eaten since this morning. After that intense workout this morning, I need to refuel.

Heading to the kitchen my mind recalls our time together. How my body felt beside her and inside her. We fit perfectly together, as if we were made for each other. Our bodies and minds aligned and unified. It was as if my world suddenly made sense. It’s a beautiful thing and I want more of it, with her.

Heating up some leftover pasta I chuckle at how we had to sneak her out. I had to go out first and make sure the area was clear. She tiptoed down the stairs like a cat, holding her heels in her hands. She looked so deliciously sexy that I almost chased after her, but truth be told, I was exhausted. She lived up to her promise of total destruction.

Grabbing a swig of beer, I remember our conversation before she left. Part of me wanted to come clean but she wanted to keep it quiet for a bit. She convinced me that until we figure out what we are to each other, it should be about us. Love is hard enough without everyone and everything complicating it.

So I sided with her because men should know when to agree and when to argue. I took my cue to shut up and listen. Plus, it could be fun sneaking around for a bit. Add a whole new level of excitement.

It could be viewed like continuous foreplay. Lots of looks and stares from across the room. Light touches as we walk by each other. Sneaking off to find some alone time. I grab my bulge that’s increasing in my jeans. Damn, she makes me hard.

My phone makes a chirping sound alerting me to an incoming text. My heart actually skips when I see that it’s her name on the screen. Sliding my finger across, I’m anxious to see what she wrote. It’s like I’m a horny teenager all over again.

I loved today. I need to see you again. Soon.

My body feels warm inside. It’s an unusual feeling for me to have. It reminds me of home and what happy used to feel like. She could be my home. I sit here with my finger trying my best to figure out what I should say. I don’t want to overwhelm her with my puppy dog gushing. So I decide to keep it simple.

I loved it, too. You tell me when and where and I’ll be there. Xo

I decide to go for it and end with an xo. It seemed like a childish and cute thing to do. It must have been a good choice because she fills up my screen with lots more x’s and o’s.

My body heat increases more as that one simple gesture makes everything better. My life is never going to be the same nor would I want it to be. The only thing on my mind now is seeing her again. I think she’s become the air that I need to inhale to feel alive. I don’t want to wait too long to breathe again.