“What would you say if I said I doubt that the pregnancy test was right?” I bit my bottom lip waiting for him to answer.
He narrowed his eyes at me, “What do you mean? Are you saying you think it was wrong? You know I bought more than one, right? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“Calm down Babe. I wondered last night when I put that bikini on, my boobs were way bigger than they normally are. Then I was further convinced earlier when I had to run to the bathroom to puke when I saw your mom stick her hand up the turkey’s ass.” He didn’t even let me step back from his bed, he just scooped me up and took me into the bathroom that was connected to his room. He sat me on the counter and told me to stay like a damn dog. Lucky for him, I didn’t have anywhere else I wanted to be.
He returned with the bag of tests. There were three left and he was opening all of them. I didn’t fight it, I simply pulled my pants down and proceeded to pee on all three tests. I sat each one on the box it came from. This time I told him, “Set a three-minute timer.” as I washed my hands.
Once again, he pulled me into his arms. Holding me, whispering words that were only for me. He loves me. Positive or negative his love won’t change. When the timer beeped, we made eye contact, giving the other courage to look. Slowly we turned together, I saw the two lines first. Then I saw the word that couldn’t be misconstrued ‘pregnant’ at the sight I squealed like a little girl getting her very first American Girl doll. The tears arrived in a completely new fashion, they were the happiest fucking tears I’d ever cried.
He picked me up and carried me to his bed where he gently arranged my body right where he wanted it. Once he was beside me, we stayed there face to face smiling like a bunch of idiots. It didn’t matter. He finally spoke, “how long is it going to take you to plan a wedding? If money isn’t an object, how quickly can you plan?”
The mention of money reminded me that I needed to tell him. I didn’t want to have the conversation tonight. I wanted to focus on happy things. Wedding things. Baby things. “Wait….um. Damn it. Um. A couple of things really quick. If I can plan a wedding quickly, can we wait to tell everyone about the baby? Can we get through the first trimester before we tell everyone?”
“You don’t want everyone to know?” I could instantly feel his disappointment at the thought that I didn’t want to tell everyone yet.
“Can we at least wait until I’ve gone to the Dr. and have a blood test confirm the pregnancy. If we play our cards right, maybe we could tell everyone on Christmas. We could have t-shirts or something made that announces it.”
He was still disappointed, but he finally agreed he wouldn’t tell anyone. I don’t know if he’ll be successful keeping it a secret. But I hope my next idea will distract him for a bit. “Prior to all this,” I waved my hand down the front of me, “or at least prior to knowing about all this,” again with the Vanna White wave down my body, “I planned a little get away for us. It’s next weekend. In Vegas. We leave a week from today.”
“Shut the fuck up. You did what?”
“Seriously, Hannah called your dad to make sure you could have the time off. Hannah and Steve are going as well.” I watched him process what I was telling him.
“Are you good if we get married in Vegas? It doesn’t have to be by Elvis. I’m sure we could find a nice chapel. But only if you’re okay with it?” I could see the hope in his eyes.
With zero hesitation, I made his day even better, “I’d marry you right here, right now. Since that isn’t an option, looks like I’ll have to marry you next weekend in Vegas.”
My mouth crashed into his. It wasn’t sexual, it was pure affection and love. He jumped up from the bed before announcing, “I get to tell everyone that, right?” I couldn’t help it, I just laughed as he darted out of the room and announced to the whole house, “We’re getting married in Vegas! Next weekend!”
The next hour was pure craziness. Everyone had an opinion, thankfully none of them were opposed to our Vegas wedding idea. Calvin and Hannah sat side by side looking at all the different options on his laptop. I got up to get something to drink and reassured him that I would be happy with whatever he picked.
Amy followed me into the kitchen where she quietly reminded me, “I have your mom’s wedding dress hanging in my closet. Do you want to take a minute to try it on, see if it’s what you want to wear?” I nodded knowing my voice would betray my true feelings.
I was nervous that seeing the dress would make me cry like I did when I realized I was wearing my mom’s engagement ring. Amy removed the dress from the garment bag and carefully hung it on the hook hanging over her closet door. When she stepped back allowing me to see the full dress, I was shocked that I didn’t have a reaction. I had a mixture of guilt and a little sadness that I wasn’t immediately in love with the idea of wearing it. Amy must have sensed my feelings because she sounded apprehensive when she suggested, “Why don’t you try it on. You might love the way it looks on. Sierra, nobody expects you to wear this dress, so if you don’t like it, you don’t have to wear it.” She smiled as she spoke, unknowingly giving me permission to want my own dress.
I stepped into her huge walk in closet and changed into my mom’s wedding dress. I called her in once I was ready to be zipped up. She reminded me there was a full-length mirror outside her closet. I made my way to the mirror, while she stood off to the side watching me as I got a glimpse of myself for the first time. It was clear that I didn’t get my naturally small boobs from my mom, the dress was made for C cups or bigger. It was a very pretty, vintage style lace dress, but it just wasn’t me. It was like Amy and I had one mind, because at the exact same time we both said, “It’d fit Hannah perfectly.” It made me giggle and Amy smile. It confirmed what I assumed the second I saw the dress, it wasn’t what I wanted to wear.
“Do you think it would be okay to look for a new dress? If I can’t find one, I could still wear this.” In that moment, I was thankful to have her there with me. This was such a mother-daughter moment and she was quickly fulfilling the role in my life.
“Of course! That sounds like a perfect plan. I know you and Hannah had crazy shopping plans for tomorrow, but I’d venture to guess bridal shops won’t be nearly as crazy as Target. Plus, we could sleep in if we skip Target.” Sleep, that was reason enough for me. Apparently, just knowing I was pregnant made me even more tired.
“I’m game, we just have to convince Hannah.” We did just that, after putting my mom’s dress back where it had been.