Calvin was at work when Steve and Hannah arrived home on Saturday. I was snuggled on the couch reading one of the books Amy had gotten from her “ALL TIME FAVORITE” author at the convention. Steve sat by me while Hannah told her mom about their plans to marry within days.
I couldn’t rain on their time. I had just had my day, more attention than I’d ever had, and I didn’t want to take that away from Hannah or Steve. Calvin would just have to wait until their wedding was over.
I was getting ready to leave work when I got a message from Sierra that changed the course of my evening.
Wife: Hannah and Steve announced they are getting married on Monday. We have to wait to tell everyone.
Me: That fucking sucks. I am still picking up the gifts. As soon as they say I do. I am handing out presents.
Wife: Love you. Your sister will thank you for allowing her the spot light for her wedding.
Me: Whatever
Me: You and my baby deserve the spotlight
Wife: Our baby does and will have it for a long time: first grandchild
Me: Love you. Be home soon
I stopped on my way home and picked up the ten coffee mugs, I had the lady do some for Sierra and me too.
Shit was crazy around the house for the next two days. My wife amazed me, she did more for Hannah and Steve than I ever expected her to. She contacted Mary to see if she could schedule her last minute to do their wedding pictures. She was in charge of hair and makeup for all the women. She was my sisters right hand person, she along with my mom, made sure everything got done the way it needed to.
Hannah and Steve were married lakeside in December, it was clear and cold and beautiful. It was nothing like I pictured my sister would want or choose but it was 100 percent Hannah and Steve.
Curtis, Callie, and Will were only staying for the one night so there wasn’t going to be a perfect opportunity to tell everyone together. So, Sierra and I decided to leave Hannah and Steve their gifts at the cabin where they would be staying for the next two nights.
We decided to get up early the morning after the wedding and make everyone breakfast. At first I worried that Amy would be awake before us, but she drank too much at the dinner. She’d be sleeping that off a little longer than normal. Cal made coffee, while I took care of everything else.
Curtis and Will were the first to come into the kitchen. Cal fixed them coffee while I dished them up. The cups went unnoticed until they were almost done eating and it was Curtis who noticed Will’s cup before he looked at his own. His eyes darted to me then back at his cup. When he looked down at my stomach, he saw Cal resting his hands protectively under his stare. He was out of his seat in a rush. My stoic, overprotective brother gathered me into his arms and lost it as he told me, “I love you and am so proud of you. I can’t even tell you how excited I am, you are going to be an amazing mom, just like ours was.” With those words, happy tears ran down my face. Will gathered around us, hugging us both while congratulating me. I got them a plate of food for Callie while Cal got her coffee; the two of them decided to bring her breakfast in bed.
We did the same for Kyler, I let Cal deliver it to him. I had a realistic fear that he slept naked so I refused to go in his room at all. I never knew if he was awake, I thought it was just safer that way.
Cal returned smiling, only two left to tell. We weren’t counting Hannah and Steve. I heard them coming before I saw either of them. With my back turned to them I began dishing up their breakfast as Cal poured them coffee, looking over his shoulder he told them to sit down.
“What is going on? I went to get up and your dad wouldn’t let me, said you guys had it under control. But then I heard voices and crying, I wanted to check it out, again your dad wouldn’t let me. So please, whatever it is just tell us.” She was pretty fired up in her rant about wanting to know what was going on.
I quietly placed their food on the table while Cal came up behind me to serve them their cups of coffee. It was Amy that noticed the cups right away. She screamed like a little girl, knocked her fork off the table, effectively flinging food across the room. She paid no attention to it, she was hell bent on hugging us both. Luke stood up and waited his turn. Amy released me so she could hug her son with both arms. Luke gathered me into his arms, it felt so much like what I remembered of my own dad. My tears were of thankfulness and excitement and a tiny bit of sadness that my parents wouldn’t get to experience this with me. It was then that Luke reminded me, “They know. They are here with you, protecting you. Loving you. Thank you for giving us this.” He kissed the top of my head before releasing me to hug his son.
After tears, hugs, and congratulations, the four of us sat down to eat the breakfast I had made. I was just lifting my first forkful to my mouth when the front door burst open to the newest newly-weds. Hannah beelines for her brother, as Steve pulled me from my chair. If you didn’t know us, it might have been creepy that he instantly fell to his knees and kissed my stomach. But knowing all that we have lost, this baby was the beginning of the next generation. Steve spoke so only I could hear him, he told my baby to let Mom, Dad, Sophia, Grandma and Grandpa know we are good.
We enjoyed breakfast before Curtis, Callie, and Will hit the road and the newly-weds headed back to their cabin in the woods. Cal and I went back to bed since we’d been up before the sun.
For so long I felt like my life was just one series of awful events after another. Calvin always says I experienced more loss in my young life than any one person should have to experience in their lifetime. I put more energy into worrying about all the possible things that could go wrong than I did making a life for myself. Calvin didn’t fix things for me, he allowed me to be me; to feel what I felt and cry without fear of being judged. He has taught me that it’s okay to choose a different path than the one I was expecting for myself. I veered off the course and found a better path.