It was hard to say goodbye to Cal after sharing a bed with him for two nights in a row. I didn’t realize until after he left how much his presence boosted my mood. I couldn’t believe the amount of thought he put into the all gifts he bought me. I went back to running the day he left which helped, but was nothing compared to his presence. I know logically exercise increases the endorphins and I always feel better, but sometimes it’s hard to even do the things I know will make me feel better.
I had my first appointment with the counselor. I thought by picking a young female counselor, I would feel more comfortable talking with her. I was wrong. I knew within minutes of sitting down in her office that it wasn’t going to work. I wasn’t rude, but I didn’t hold back my thoughts. In the end, she asked if I would like to meet any of her colleagues; at first I didn’t think I was interested, but she politely told me it was a common misconception among women that they wouldn’t feel comfortable with a male counselor. Only one colleague was available, when he walked into the room I was completely shocked at my reaction to him. Based on my initial reaction, I agreed to meet with him for a half hour since he happened to be free. I didn’t delve into my whole life story, I chose the topic of dropping out of school which he helped me walk through my decision. He helped me with ideas on how to broach the subject with Steve. I think Curtis is going to be fine with the idea.
Cal and I text and talk throughout the day. He calls first thing in the morning, I call during lunch, he calls on his way to the gym and I call before getting into bed. Since making my decision to drop out of school, I never refused to answer his calls. If he called in the middle of a class, I would excuse myself to take his call. I figure the worse that is going to happen is I fail the class. If Hannah is in the room at night, I head out in the hallway to the window seat directly across from our room.
Halloween fell on Monday, which was fine by me. I hadn’t really celebrated Halloween since before my parents and Sophia died. I hadn’t planned for this year to be any different. Steve asked Hannah and me to go out to dinner with him. It wasn’t my idea of a good time, but neither was eating in the cafeteria alone. Callie and Will drove up for the weekend so Curtis was out of commission as far as babysitting me went.
As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, my phone started vibrating. I had never been more thankful for a phone call in my life. Clearly Steve and Hannah were off in their own little lover’s world and I could feel the sexual tension clear across the room. I walked to the end of the hallway by the bathrooms so I could hear what Cal was saying. I’m sure he could hear the disappointment in my voice, I hadn’t been shy about my opinion of being the third wheel. He apologized several times that he wasn’t there to take me out himself. We didn’t talk long, I told him I would call as soon as we got back from dinner or if he hadn’t heard from me by the time he was done at the gym he could call me.
I tried to ignore the fact that I was pretty sure my brother’s hand was up Hannah’s dress all through dinner. I didn’t need confirmation, it was bad enough that I had the thought in the back of my mind. When dinner was over, we hit the costume contest at the school. It was crazy to see what some people are willing to wear in public. The winners were those dressed in the least amount of clothing. Thankfully, as soon as the winners were announced we made our way back to the dorm to watch scary movies.
When Cal called, I took the call out in the hallway. “Hello?”
“Hi Honey. How is it going?” Better now that I was talking to him.
“Fine, Steve and Hannah are watching a scary movie.” my voice was flat, despite being happy that I was talking to him.
“Is it okay if I come up this weekend to see you? Maybe we could go on a double date with Steve and Hannah?” Every part of what he just told me was formed as a question.
“I would love for you to be here. I’ve told you before, anytime! You are welcome here anytime.” I could hear the breath he let out at my comment. We talked for a few more minutes about simple stuff. My mind was too busy running away with the idea that he was going to be here this weekend. I honestly couldn’t have been happier.
As I made my way back into the room, my mood obviously improved. I let Steve and Hannah know that Cal was coming up for the weekend. They were happy, but their level of excitement is nothing compared to mine.
When Steve announced that Curtis wants their room to himself, I knew that meant Steve was spending the night. I didn’t waste any time getting my headphones on and trying to fall asleep.
In my mind, I know I need to talk to her brothers while I am in town over the weekend. I owe it to them both, Steve because he treated me with enough respect to talk to me about his relationship with my sister; Curtis because, according to Sierra, he’s been her best friend since losing everyone else in her family.
I also need to give my parents the heads up as well. I want their blessing just as much as I want one from Steve and Curtis. My parents may have had a rough start in their relationship but they have a strong marriage. Their relationship is always one I have admired. When I allow my mind to wander to what I want my life to be like, it always ends up looking towards my parents.
It was getting late so I knew better than to go looking for my parents. This time at night was a dangerous time to venture towards their bedroom. I have learned my lesson, do not approach their bedroom at night. I think they get a secret thrill knowing that there are people in the house and awake when they have sex. Thankfully, my bedroom isn’t even close to theirs so for the most part I can avoid the scene.
I figured I would play it safe and contact Steve and Curtis tomorrow too. But just knowing what I had planned, I was too anxious to sleep. I figured I would see if Kyler was home. I haven’t been spending much time with him and I know he’s missing Hannah too. He wasn’t in his room, so I went downstairs to see if he was watching a movie. He was down there, but I wouldn’t say he was watching the movie that was playing on the projection screen. I don’t even think he noticed that I had walked into the room. Thankfully, he was still fully clothed; as was the girl he had next to him on the couch. I just slowly backed out of the room while making a mental note to get him a box of condoms.