“Seriously Jagger, sleep on the floor!”
He glares at me while standing in the doorway to my bathroom in just his boxers. God he looks good.
“I’m not sleeping on the fuckin’ floor.”
“You wanted to come here.”
“So?”
“So you sleep on the floor.”
“We fucked tonight, or did you just forget that?”
I smirk. “And thank you for that, it still doesn’t change my mind.”
“Too bad,”
He gets on the bed and slides in, I shove at his chest but he won’t move.
“You’re an asshole.”
He shrugs and I roll, when the light is flicked off, I lay staring at the dark wall for a long while. Just as I think he’s asleep, he rolls and leans over me, whispering in my ear. “You don’t really mind me being in your bed.”
“I mind!”
“Don’t be snappy; I know you don’t hate me, so stop acting like you do.”
“I certainly don’t like you!”
“Are you still shitty because I left? I thought you wanted to be let go.”
“I thought we were friends at least, and you just forgot about me.”
“Bullshit, I was doing what I promised you I would. What is it you want from me? You bitched and moaned when you were there, wanting to leave and when I let you go, you are still angry!”
“I want to sleep.” I snap.
“Fine.”
I roll over with a grumble and it takes me hours to fall into a restless sleep, only to wake in the middle of a nightmare about Manchez. My biggest fear in the world is being taken by him. It scares the living shit out of me. I bolt upright sobbing and clinging to the sheets. I’m panting and shaking. I have this damn dream all the time, and it just gets worse and worse. Jagger sits up, groggily asking what’s wrong. I don’t answer.
“Hey…”
He puts an arm around me and crushes me to his chest. I whimper and cry, and he strokes my hair.
“It was just a dream; I won’t let him hurt you.”
I hiccup and reach for him, desperation taking over. I need comfort, I want comfort. I just need him to be with me, to stroke me and touch me until it all goes away. I find his lips and desperately pull him to me, with a groan he slides his tongue into my mouth to dance with mine. I move about until I’m straddling his hips. His hard erection presses into my core, causing me to shiver.
I grip his face, deepening the kiss. My mind’s hazy and I just want comfort. It’s all I need. Just comfort. He’s my comfort. He grips my panties and tears them off in one quick movement. No time for foreplay, just like earlier. We just want each other; I want him inside me, thrusting until it hurts. He grips his boxer shorts and pulls them down, and slowly lowers my wet sex over his cock.
“God,” I whimper, clinging to him.
I feel his piercings touching that sensitive spot inside me, and I cry out, rocking my hips and clawing at his chest. He groans and grips my ass, using it to jerk me up and down. I slide easily along his length, so aroused it hurts. His ragged groans fill me and spur me on. I need all of him. Every bit I can get. He thrusts his hips upwards, causing violent tremors to course through my body. When I come around him, his growls fill my ears.
“Coming…oh fuck…”
He pulses deep inside me and I groan when he clings to me and thrusts his hips upwards to milk every last droplet out. When I come down from my high, I get off him and stare into the darkness. We’re both quiet for a long moment. I shouldn’t be doing these things to him; it makes me no better than he is.
“Willow…”
“That can’t happen again.”
“Why not?” He snaps.
“Because, it’s not real.”
He’s silent for a long moment, “Is that what you think?”
“Yes, you took me from my life. I went through hell and yet I’m so madly in…”
“In what?” he growls.
“It doesn’t matter, it’s wrong. I shouldn’t have feelings for you.”
“What does it fuckin’ matter how it started?”
“It’s not real!”
“It is real, what we felt then wasn’t created in your mind Willow. Why don’t you fuckin’ trust your own judgment?”
“I have a weak mind Jagger, my Mother is in an institution because she has a weak mind too. I don’t trust it to lead me down the right path.”
“You think you’re weak? Let me tell you something, you’re the strongest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. You dealt with things others would never have been able to handle. You made it through and you’re still alive. What you feel is real, and feeling the way you did when you were a kid doesn’t make you weak minded. You’re not like your Mother…”
“You don’t know that,” I whisper, feeling my eyes fill with tears.
“Yes I do.”
“No you don’t…”
“Yes, I fuckin’ do!”
“I have to go.”
“Willow!”
“Please, don’t do that again…”
“You started that, not me.”
“Well I’m finishing it,” I whisper, then turn and leave the room.
When I get to Jenny and Ava’s bed, I crawl in and I crumble. They hold me all night long, while I sob my problems into the pillow.