Two days pass before I get better and another two before I can get around like normal again. When I finally leave that bed, it’s raining outside and I’m desperate to get out. I get out of bed early in the morning and the house is quiet. I pull on a coat and some jeans and walk out of the room. Jagger must be sleeping, because no lights are on. The rain is coming down hard and heavy on the roof and I can smell it in the air.
I walk downstairs and out the front, and breathe in the fresh scent. I find an old seat on the patio and curl up onto it, just staring out at the rain. It’s heavy and I can’t see any of the trees through the mist. It’s perfect. An hour later, Jagger rushes out the front door, half-dressed and clutching his keys. He skids to a halt when he sees me curled up on the seat and his shoulders sag in relief.
“Thought I ran away?” I mutter.
He walks over and drops down beside me, “Yeah.”
“Well I didn’t. I made a promise to you, and you made one to me. I won’t break that promise.”
“And I won’t break mine.”
“Then you know I’ll stay here until you sort this out.”
“Right, yeah, I know.”
We stare out at the rain, and I decide to ask the question that has bugged me for so long.
“How did he end up in this mess?”
Jagger turns to stare at me, and his face softens slightly, “Your dad?”
“Yeah,”
He leans back into the chair and starts speaking. “He fucked us over. He went undercover to bust a massive drug ring. He became part of the brotherhood, part of the brotherhood and we trusted him. We nearly lost our lives and he got away with some precious information. We bolted, and he was put into protection. The cops didn’t have enough to bust us, because your dad kept the information. I don’t know what he plans on doing with it, but it’s essential.”
“It was his job,” I whisper. “Surely you can’t hate him for doing his job.”
“It wasn’t just about the job, he was my friend. He and I grew close and I trusted him. I trusted that he was part of this, I thought of him as my Brother. Look, I stay away from the cops, they do what they have to do and I respect that but he took the risk by going undercover and forming bonds with the men and he took an even bigger risk taking that information. The cops don’t even know he has it, so he’s up to something.”
“You guys break the law all the time; it had to catch up on you eventually. I don’t know about my Father, but you have to take your own part in this.”
“You’re right, most gangs do break the law but we’re not what I’d like to consider a gang, more like a dark brotherhood,” he grins and I roll my eyes. “Honestly, there are more murders in everyday life then there are from gangs. It’s a world cops shouldn’t try to involve themselves in, because they’ll never understand it. We don’t hurt people that are innocent; we don’t walk out on streets and blast just anyone. Everyone who we hurt or deal with chooses to be a part of it. They choose to join the brotherhood; they choose to risk their lives. We don’t ask them to and we wouldn’t touch them if they didn’t delve in the wrong places. All the people we hurt or kill are bad people, Willow.”
“What about my dad, he’s not a bad person?”
“Your dad has information; I don’t plan on killing him…”
“But…”
“Look, he was doing his job, and I respect that but he chose to delve into the things he did, he wasn’t forced to. Your Father made his own choices Willow; he has to pay for them.”
“You know he never paid much attention to me, he was always off in other worlds and busy on the job. When he died, I was sad but I was also relieved. I was sick of being nothing to him. I was sick of everything. It shouldn’t be a relief when your Father dies.”
“Your dad was a screwed up man. He was majorly depressed and he wanted to be part of the gang, a part of him really wanted it to be real and clearly it still does, because he’s still playing on the wrong side of the law.”
I nod, biting my lip; tears well in my eyes. I know why my Father was screwed up, and I still blame myself for it.
“He’s screwed up because of me, you know?”
Jagger looks at me, and narrows his eyes, “How so?”
“My Mother got depression when she had me; serious depression. Before that, he said she was a beautiful, radiant person. It really did things to her head, and she tried to…never mind. She was admitted. She had my Sister in the mental ward, it was then my Father found out that my Sister wasn’t his and my Mother had been seeking comfort from another man. He blamed me in a sense, because if my Mother never had me…she wouldn’t have gotten depressed and looked elsewhere…”
Jagger surprises me by taking my hand, “That’s not true; you can’t predict how life goes, Willow. Your Father should take his own blame and deal with it, if he was around more often, your Mom wouldn’t have needed to find comfort with another man. Blaming you is just a weak way out.”
I nod, swallowing. “I just want to go home Jagger…”
“It’ll be over soon, we’ve found his location and we’ll get the information we need. Then you can go and never have to worry about all this ever again.”
“I wish it were that simple.”
“It can be.”
“No Jagger, it can’t.”
We sit staring for long moments, and then a car pulls into the drive way. All the men get out and walk up the steps. Snake gives me a truly foul look, but I match it with my own.
“Lookin’ better,” Angel says, sitting down beside Jagger.
“Thanks, I am.”
“We have issues to discuss boss,” Ace says, nodding at Jagger.
“Right,” Jagger stands and looks down at me. “Are you coming in?”
“No, I’ll stay here.”
“No problems.”
Jagger turns and Snake grips his arm. “You can’t leave her out here, she could run.”
“She won’t run Snake, I told you that. Get inside before my patience wears thin.”
They all walk inside, giving me brief nods. I turn and stare back out at the rain for another hour or so, at one point I even drift off. I wake when thunder booms loudly in the sky. I stand and wobble inside; my stomach is grumbling and desperate for food. I walk into the basement to ask if Jagger wants anything, only to find them surrounding a man.
He’s a Chinese man, and he’s bloody all over. How long has he been in that basement while I’ve been here? I feel bile rise in my throat. He’s gagged and bound, and Jagger is holding a bloody knife to his throat. I watch in horror as Jagger barks a question, and the man doesn’t answer. Jagger slides the knife across his throat and blood begins to trickle out. It’s not enough to kill the man, but it’s enough for me. I scream. Jagger spins around and his eyes widen. Angel lunges forward and grips me, yanking me from the room.
“Let me go!” I cry.
“Get outta here, you shouldn’t be in here!”
“I’m going to be sick,” I cry, running towards the bathroom. I fall to my knees and throw up, even though my stomach’s empty.
“What the fuck?” I hear Jagger yell.
“I told you she should be fucking locked up!” Snake snarls.
“She never comes down here!”
“She’s fucking seeing shit she shouldn’t see, fucking lock her up Jagger or I will.”
I hear a loud crack and Snake’s pained bellow.
“If you fuckin’ order me around once more Snake, I’ll fuckin’ kill you.” Jagger roars.
“You’re makin’ a mistake Jagger, letting this girl get inside your heart.” Snake hurls back.
“Back down Snake, she’s not causin’ any harm. “Ace yells.
“You’re all fucked in the head, I’ll fucking finish her myself. She’s nothin’ but a waste of space. I’ll gut her with my bare fuckin’ hands and get her outta the way so we can get on with it.”
A gun fires, I scream and tremble. Suddenly it’s silent in the room and I’m shaking so badly my teeth rattle together. After a moment, I hear voices again.
“Had to be done,” Angel says simply.
“Get that out of here, and clean up!” Jagger orders.
“Ace, Rusty, Bull…get his body out and deal with it,” Angel orders.
I feel my eyes widen, did Jagger kill him? Oh God, oh please…a moment later Jagger pounds on the bathroom door.
“Open up Willow.”
“Go away.”
“Open up, now!”
“Please, Jagger, leave…”
He kicks the door and it flies open. Ok, so this dingy door isn’t as good as the one upstairs. He’s covered in blood and I flinch away when he reaches for me.
“Don’t touch me.”
He growls. “You shouldn’t have been down here.”
“So I couldn’t see you torturing that poor man?”
“That poor fuckin’ man is a sick fuckin’ rapist and part of Manchez’s gang. That poor fuckin’ man would have no issue raping or killing you!”
“I need to go, please, let me go.”
I stand and try to shove past him, but he grips me and holds me tight. Blood smudges over my arms and I lose it. I punch him in the jaw and he stumbles backwards. I turn and run out of the basement and past the men picking up a dead, bloody Snake. I get to my room and I strip my clothes off, desperately needing to be clean. I get into the shower and I start smashing everything in sight.
Jagger is behind me in seconds, he swings the door of the shower open, not bothering with privacy. He grips my arms and tries to pull me out. I scream and kick, cursing and swearing. I slap him, hit him, punch him, kick him and anything else I can manage. He’s soaked now, and his jeans hang limply on his large body. All the blood is rinsed off his skin and is sliding down the drain. Oh God. He grips me and pulls me close.
“Stop it.”
“Let me go!” I cry.
“Calm down, just calm down. I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“Please!”
I hit him again and he takes my fist, crushing it against his chest. He takes my face in his hands and I struggle to get out of his grip. Then his mouth is on mine. Oh God, oh fuck. His lips are hot from the water, and oh God, everything inside me is screaming for more. I can’t fight this, desperation takes over and my body goes limp. He wraps a big arm around my waist and crushes me closer to his chest.
He parts my lips with his tongue, and I whimper when it makes contact with mine. Jagger is a man that can kiss, oh fuck can he kiss. He pushes me against the tiled wall and I whimper when I feel his throbbing length press into my stomach. I want him, it’s so wrong, so disturbing but God I want him. I run my hands over his bare chest; it’s hard and firm beneath my palms. When I slide my hands down his stomach and grip his jeans, he lets off a ragged groan.
I unbutton them, not moving my lips from his. He tangles a hand into my hair, and then slowly leans down to slide his lips across my neck. He drags them down lower, until he reaches my nipple. He draws it into his mouth and groans when it buds and throbs. I moan and let my head fall back as he works my nipples over until I’m gasping and begging. When he stands back up, I grip his jeans and yank them down. When he springs free, I gasp. His cock is huge, but that’s not what has me gasping. It’s the four piercings around the base of his large head.
I feel my eyes widen, as I stare at the bars with rounded ends. That had to hurt. A lot. I look back up to meet his gaze and he’s staring down at me with an amused expression. Tentatively, I reach out and take his length into my hand. He growls as I slide my hand over the thick, hard length. He leans down and lifts me up so my legs are wrapped around his waist. His fingers slide down and find my clit, and I groan.
Neither of us dares to speak. I know if I speak this will become real and this being real is a dangerous thing. Jagger is dangerous for me, and this situation is ugly. I have lost my mind, and I don’t need to be reminded of that right now. When I feel myself heating from the inside out, as an orgasm nears, I clutch Jagger and cry out. He strokes me until he has wrung every last shudder from my body.
Then his cock is probing my entrance and his lips are on mine again. When he lowers me over his length, he lets out a guttural moan. I cry out as I feel him sliding inside me, stretching and filling until he is balls deep and growling. When he slides back out, I realize what the piercings are for. They hit that spot and oh God, it feels incredible.
“Jagger,” I whimper.
“So fuckin’ tight, so fuckin’ wet. I want you Willow; I want you so fuckin’ much it hurts.”
It’s only then I realize he has no condom on. I freeze and pull back.
“Protection…”
“I’m clean.”
“But…”
“I got checked last month; I’ll show you the report. I’m clean; I don’t do this…ever.”
“Why now?” I whimper when he thrusts his hips.
“Because you make me fuckin’ crazy in a way no one ever has before.”
He thrusts again and I’ve forgotten about the protection. I’m on birth control, thank Christ for me I got my injection just before he captured me.
“Jagger, oh God,”
“You’re so fuckin’ tight. You’re gonna make me come so hard,”
Why are those dirty words making me feel so aroused?
He thrusts his hips slowly, dragging his cock in and out with expert precision, finding that spot every time. My release is building and Jesus it feels so good. I grip his shoulders and slide my nails across his skin. He thrusts harder now, and I can hear out skin slapping together. He’s groaning and he looks so erotic with his head thrown back and his jaw tightening and loosening with every thrust.
“Jagger!” I scream as I finally tip over the edge.
I arch my back and he reaches down, taking my hips into his hands and thrusting into me so hard I scream and writhe. He leans down and bites one of my nipples, causing me to shudder and spasm around him once more. His fingers bite into my skin as he thrusts with desperation, searching for his own release. When he finds it, he roars and I can feel him pulsing hot and deep inside me. His chest is straining, his biceps bulging. All I can think about is how utterly beautiful he looks right now.
When we come down from our high, he lets me slide off his hips. I wobble a little, and he reaches out to steady me. When I dare to look at him, I get an eye full of pure, raw male. He is panting, and his beautiful chest is rising and falling heavily with each breath. His cheeks are beautifully flushed and his black hair is sticking to his forehead. Emotion passes between us, lots of it, and I wonder what he’s thinking right now? Is he freaking out as much as I am?
“JAGGER!”
We hear the banging on the door and I freeze.
“Fuck,” he snarls, getting out of the shower and drying his hair. He presses the white towel against his jeans to try and dry them. I see a faint pinkish color stain the towel and I realize it’s blood. Oh God, I feel sick again.
I swallow, desperately trying to get the image of that beaten and bloodied man out of my head. I know whose blood’s on Jagger’s jeans. He reefs them back on anyway, and takes the towel with him. He tosses me a towel and barks at me to get behind the door. He opens it and I hear him muttering to Angel outside the door.
“She was tryin’ to kill herself, crazy girl,” Jagger says to Angel. “What’s up? Did you deal with the body?”
Kill myself? How dare he speak about me like that after what we just did? He doesn’t know how hard that is for me, to hear someone call me crazy. When he walks back in the room, I reach out and slap him. He takes two steps back, gripping his cheek.
“What the fuck?”
“How dare you call me crazy! How dare you!”
He sighs and shuts the door, pressing me towards the wall with his hands to my shoulders. “Look, Angel won’t care that we just…did what we did but he will care if it gets in the way of sorting things out, so it would have been better if he didn’t know.”
“You called me crazy,” I whisper, feeling a tear escape. “You don’t know what that does to me.”
He looks truly hurt by his words, and he leans in to swipe a finger across my damp cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not crazy…”
He sighs and takes my face in his hands. “I know, believe me, I know.”
“What just happened in here, Jagger?”
He closes his eyes a moment, “Something that can’t happen again.”
“It meant nothing to you?” I whisper and my lip trembles.
“Now don’t go fuckin’ cryin’ and makin’ me feel bad, Willow.”
“Oh God, I’m an idiot.”
“Look, the sexual tension has hung around for a while now…that’s all it was.”
I gape at him. “Are you serious?”
He runs his hands helplessly through his hair, “Enough, we will discuss this later. I have to go out for the night, can I trust you not to run or do I need to lock you in here?”
“If I wanted to run,” I say, giving him a horrible look. “I would have done it this morning. I stand by my word Jagger, which is more than you can say for yourself.”
“Willow…”
“Nothing Jagger? Remember.”
He steps back and gives me a hard stare, before turning and slamming the door so loudly the window shakes.