I find a run-down motel and pay for a room with cash. When I get into the old, smelly room, I sigh. This is going to be a long night. I throw my bag down and fall onto the springy bed. I pull out my phone and read the messages. I feel bad for Jenny and Ava, I know how worried they’ll be but I needed to get my bearings. I’ll go back in the morning; right now I need this time.
J: Baby please, I’m fuckin’ beside myself. Call me.
Baby? The man has a personality disorder, seriously.
A: Please, please tell me you’re ok? I’m sick with worry. Ava x
I text Ava back quickly,
W: I’m ok. Just need some time. Tell Jagger I’m fine.
She responds right away.
A: He’s gone out looking for you. He’s so worried honey, please come back.
W: I can’t right now, please understand. X
A: Please?
W: Can’t.
A: In the morning?
W: Yeah.
A: Stay safe, I love you x
W: You too.
J: Where r u? We have 2 talk.
I sigh, feeling awfully overwhelmed right now.
W: No.
My phone rings and I angrily open it.
“What?”
“Where are you?” Jagger sounds worn and he’s panting.
“I’m fine. You need to leave me be.”
“I need to find you, do you have any fuckin’ idea how much danger you’re in?”
“I don’t care.”
“Willow, fuckin’ hell. You don’t have to talk to me, but you need protection.”
“So send Angel or Ace over. I don’t want to see you.”
He’s silent a long moment. “I’m sorry ok?”
I close my eyes and my lips tremble.
“Willow?”
“Just send Angel or Ace over, get one of them to call me and I’ll give them the address.”
“Fine,” he snaps. “Have it your way.”
I hang up and a moment later my phone rings again. I answer and hear Angel’s voice come across the line.
“Where are you?”
I give him the location.
“Right, I’ll be there soon.”
“Ok.”
“Bye.”
I hang up the phone and hope to God Jagger doesn’t come with him, or follow him. I value my safety, so I know having Angel around will be a good thing but if he brings Jagger, I won’t deal with it so well. I’m already feeling shaky and so overwhelmed my stomach hurts. I find a seat near the window and sit on it, sighing loudly and trying to control my trembling. When a knock sounds out twenty minutes later, I stand on shaky legs and walk over.
I open the door and Angel steps in, he’s alone thank God. I couldn’t deal with Jagger right now, I’ll just crumble and I can’t afford to do that. Angel gives me a smile, which I’m truly grateful for. I know he doesn’t have to be here, in fact, it’s probably the last place he wants to be but here he is, doing me a favor when I probably don’t deserve one. I wave my arm towards the seat and he sits down, staring at me with those light blue eyes.
“I’m sorry Angel,”
“I know Jagger can be an asshole, but he’s beside himself.”
“He hurt me.”
Angel nods, giving me a sympathetic look. “I know he did, but Jagger doesn’t think sometimes.”
“It’s not an excuse…” I whisper.
“Look, I know what he’s like but I also saw him tonight. He was beside himself Willow. He cares about you, a lot. I know you can’t let go, I know he took you and for a while your life was all but pleasant. I know that can’t be easily forgotten, but in a sense he was doing you a favor.”
“Why do you all keep throwing that in my face?” I cry.
“I’m not throwing it in your face, I’m just stating the obvious and that is that you would have been taken no matter what. Jagger can be a hard ass, and his life isn’t rosy and sweet but he’s not a bad person. He’s been through more than you could ever imagine in his short life. He saved you, even if you refuse to see it like that because if Manchez had have gotten his hands on you, I guarantee you wouldn’t be sitting here now. If you want to blame anyone, blame your dad…”
“You think I don’t?” I say, in a small, weak voice.
“Then why so much anger towards Jagger?”
“You don’t get it, do you? I didn’t ask for any of this…”
“I know.”
“And I fell in love with him, now it’s all messed up.” I cry, putting my head in my hands.
“You know he’s in love with you too, right?”
“No…he’s not.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
I lift my head and meet his gaze, and he smiles weakly. “Give him a chance Willow, we’re not bad people.”
“You’re all in a gang.”
“We’re not a gang; I’d prefer to call us dark Brothers.”
I smile weakly. “I like that.”
“Me too,”
“Thank you, for being here.”
Angel stands and stares down at me. “I’m goin’ to crash on the couch. Get some rest.”
I nod weakly, and force myself to stand. With wobbly legs, I walk over to the bed and crawl in. I throw the covers over my head and unlock my phone to see a message from Jagger.
J: I never slept with her.
What is he talking about?
W: What?
J: The girl that came over when u were still my captive, the night u tried to harm yourself. I never slept with her. I sent her home. I couldn’t do it. It might mean nothing to u, but I knew back then what I wanted. I knew it then and I know it now.
I choke a sob and hot tears soak my pillow. His words warm my heart, and I drift off into an emotionally exhausted sleep.